Disclaimer: Although I like my bois quite a lot, I do not own them. I'll
not be making any money, so please, please, please don't sue me. All
you'll get is 10 years of debt.
Author's note: Haven't written for the DK for quite a while, and I may be a bit out of practice. Anyway… I had an idea that Zoisite may have had a choice in the end, and I thought I'd write it. I'm messing up some time here, and allowing a lot more time in between Cape-boy's injuries, and Zoisite's death. Please R/R. Thanks for letting me ramble.
~*~
An Ending
~*~
She's summoned me, and I know it's finally over. In a way, I'm almost relieved. No more orders, no more pain. I smile. I'll never have to hear that shrill voice again, or stand for hours in this dark throne room.
I'm almost smiling as the queen glares down at me. She's summoned me, alone, out of the bed that Kunzite tucked me into to help me heal, but I don't really mind anymore. I'm so tired, that I welcome this. I gaze back at her calmly, tiredly, waiting for her to acknowledge me.
"You disobeyed me, Zoisite," she says, angry gold eyes focused on my calm green ones.
"I did, your majesty." I can't apologize for it. I wanted to kill cape- boy, and I think I'm even proud of that. I had a thought of my own – the death of Tuxedo Mask. After so many millennia, I finally disobeyed a direct order.
"You must be punished." Her voice is emotionless, as though she's discussing the weather, not the end of my life.
I laugh. Throwing my arms open in a crucificial position, I dare her to do her best. "Go for it."
Her hands and her scepter remain in their places. Her smile is cruel as she fixes me with her gaze. "That wasn't what I had in mind. I think your mentor would be a more appropriate sacrifice."
My arms drop back to my side, and I'm sure I've gone pale.
"After all," she continues. "He was the one who failed in training you to proper obedience, and I think you would be much easier to keep under control if he should suffer an untimely death…"
"No…" I whisper. "You… You can't… It was me… I was the one…"
"Yes that does present an interesting problem. I must admit that it was you and not Kunzite who disobeyed me, but that means that you are the one who should be punished, not him. You see… You want to die, and he wants you. I'd be releasing you, and punishing him, rather than the other way around. Tell me, is that really fair?"
"But…"
"What, Zoisite? You have to be punished, or I will not be able to maintain order. No one disobeys me with impunity. You know that. Everyone knows that. How would you suggest I punish you, if not to take away your happiness?"
I quickly call moisture back to my mouth. I can't get nervous, not now. I'm so close… I can't let her think she's won. "It's obvious, your majesty, why you should not kill Kunzite to punish me. Even the basest idiot would understand."
Her eyes narrow. "What did you call me?"
"An idiot, your majesty. If you killed Kunzite, not only would you lose the best warrior you've got and a fabulous leader, but you'd also lose the only person left who's actually loyal to you. And you'd lose me too," I add as an afterthought
The queen looks at me like some vermin that she's simply waiting for to stand still long enough to crush. "How so?"
"You see, your majesty, Kunzite is the only one left in this god-forsaken hellhole who will obey you without question. You already know I won't, and without him, you won't have anyone to rally the youma to you."
"I'll have you."
I mile mirthlessly. "You won't have me. I'll be dead. If you kill him, I swear to you on everything in this universe that I hold dear, that I will find some way to kill myself."
"I could put a geas on you."
"You could," I agree. "You could do that, but it won't do you much good. I created your geases, bitch; all but the one that keeps me bound to you in life. You think I can't break them? Even if you were able to create one that I couldn't break (something I highly doubt), it wouldn't matter. I'd be as good as dead. Dead in spirit, and in will, and you already know I won't obey you. And without a king to guide them, the youma would disband and scatter. You need someone truly bound to you around, and I'm not it. Go ahead and kill Kunzite," I say this casually, as though I don't care, all the while damning myself for the argument. I'm sorry, Kunzite… "It won't matter. I'll be gone soon enough after that."
I can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears, and it's funny. She wants so much to punish me, and to make me hurt for disobeying her, but she can't. Not and hold her kingdom.
"But someone must die for this…" Her words are almost plaintive, like she wants me to solve this dilemma for her. Of course, I can.
"Me." The word is simple. "I disobeyed you, so make me die. If you need it to be painful, then make it painful. This way, you don't lose anyone important, and you get to save face."
She nods slowly, and I can't believe I just talked my way into a death sentence. Oh Kunzite, I'm sorry, but it's better me than you. Because I believe what I said to her. I'm not important. And I couldn't live without you.
"You die." Her decision falls on me like, well, a death sentence. I almost laugh, and my teeth are chattering now like I've been cold for hours and I haven't noticed. Like I'm dead already. I have to ask her, though. Before she tells me it's now, because I need more time. I have to say goodbye. Goodbye to freezing the ice on the pond, just to hear it crack when it thaws. Goodbye to sleeping, and to waking up all warm and tangled in the sheets, and in Kunzite. Goodbye to flowers, to roses. Goodbye to hot showers, and to baths. Mostly, goodbye to Kunzite. I want to be with him before I… Before I die. One last time.
"An hour. Give me an hour."
I watch her head shake. "No. Now. Fetch Kunzite and let it be now."
I close my eyes. "No… You can't… Why does he have to watch?"
Her face doesn't change from its cold mask. "This is a punishment, Zoisite. You chose the terms of it yourself. Either you fetch him, or I will."
"I- I'll get him."
"Good. You have five minutes before I summon you both, ready or not. Do not explain things to him, Zoisite, or I will kill him after all. I am not beyond inventing more creative means of making you obey me if forced to it."
"Yes, Queen Beryl." I bow to her one last time and return to the bed that I was tucked into before she called me away. I look around, knowing this will be the last time I see it. The room is cool and dark, as a bedroom should be. And it's not mine anymore. I start to cry, by body shaking with sobs. I think I wake up Kunzite, because he moves his arms carefully around me.
"What's wrong?" he asks quietly. "Pain?"
I shake my head, turning to face him. "It's not so bad, I'm just… tired. It's over, Kunzite."
His expression changes from concern to pain. "No… It's not- I'll find a way out of it. It's not over."
"No, Kunzite." I make him look at me, in the eyes, so he can see I'm serious. "It's over. I crossed the line. You know it."
His face doesn't crumple. Not like most people's do when they cry. Tears just start to leak from his eyes, and I'm crying too, with my face and with my eyes. Our tears fall together on the pillow, mingling before sinking into the pillowslip. And Beryl's voice is in our minds, now, telling us that she wants to see us in the throne room. I'm cold, as I rise from the bed we used to share, colder still, when I lean into him for the teleport. I don't have the energy for it anymore.
We appear together in the throne room. I know she's searching his eyes for understanding, even as he tries to argue my case to her. I'm not paying much attention. I'm focused on standing, not seeing, or hearing or talking. Just feeling, and on the only warm places on my body, the places where I'm touching him. She's talking to me, now, and I'm saying something about an accident, how it wasn't my fault, but I'm not paying much attention to that either. It's just a role, a part I'm playing to keep up the façade. Now Kunzite's arguing again, and I hear him yell "No!" as a blast of hot death slams into my body, ripping a scream of pain from my throat.
There is something after that. Some brief interlude with cherry blossoms, and you, and I never get to tell you I'm sorry, Kunzite. I'm sorry it had to happen this way. I'm sorry I had to die. I'm sorry that it was the only thing she couldn't take away from me. I'm sorry, but it's an ending, and it's mine.
~*~
Finis
Author's note: Haven't written for the DK for quite a while, and I may be a bit out of practice. Anyway… I had an idea that Zoisite may have had a choice in the end, and I thought I'd write it. I'm messing up some time here, and allowing a lot more time in between Cape-boy's injuries, and Zoisite's death. Please R/R. Thanks for letting me ramble.
~*~
An Ending
~*~
She's summoned me, and I know it's finally over. In a way, I'm almost relieved. No more orders, no more pain. I smile. I'll never have to hear that shrill voice again, or stand for hours in this dark throne room.
I'm almost smiling as the queen glares down at me. She's summoned me, alone, out of the bed that Kunzite tucked me into to help me heal, but I don't really mind anymore. I'm so tired, that I welcome this. I gaze back at her calmly, tiredly, waiting for her to acknowledge me.
"You disobeyed me, Zoisite," she says, angry gold eyes focused on my calm green ones.
"I did, your majesty." I can't apologize for it. I wanted to kill cape- boy, and I think I'm even proud of that. I had a thought of my own – the death of Tuxedo Mask. After so many millennia, I finally disobeyed a direct order.
"You must be punished." Her voice is emotionless, as though she's discussing the weather, not the end of my life.
I laugh. Throwing my arms open in a crucificial position, I dare her to do her best. "Go for it."
Her hands and her scepter remain in their places. Her smile is cruel as she fixes me with her gaze. "That wasn't what I had in mind. I think your mentor would be a more appropriate sacrifice."
My arms drop back to my side, and I'm sure I've gone pale.
"After all," she continues. "He was the one who failed in training you to proper obedience, and I think you would be much easier to keep under control if he should suffer an untimely death…"
"No…" I whisper. "You… You can't… It was me… I was the one…"
"Yes that does present an interesting problem. I must admit that it was you and not Kunzite who disobeyed me, but that means that you are the one who should be punished, not him. You see… You want to die, and he wants you. I'd be releasing you, and punishing him, rather than the other way around. Tell me, is that really fair?"
"But…"
"What, Zoisite? You have to be punished, or I will not be able to maintain order. No one disobeys me with impunity. You know that. Everyone knows that. How would you suggest I punish you, if not to take away your happiness?"
I quickly call moisture back to my mouth. I can't get nervous, not now. I'm so close… I can't let her think she's won. "It's obvious, your majesty, why you should not kill Kunzite to punish me. Even the basest idiot would understand."
Her eyes narrow. "What did you call me?"
"An idiot, your majesty. If you killed Kunzite, not only would you lose the best warrior you've got and a fabulous leader, but you'd also lose the only person left who's actually loyal to you. And you'd lose me too," I add as an afterthought
The queen looks at me like some vermin that she's simply waiting for to stand still long enough to crush. "How so?"
"You see, your majesty, Kunzite is the only one left in this god-forsaken hellhole who will obey you without question. You already know I won't, and without him, you won't have anyone to rally the youma to you."
"I'll have you."
I mile mirthlessly. "You won't have me. I'll be dead. If you kill him, I swear to you on everything in this universe that I hold dear, that I will find some way to kill myself."
"I could put a geas on you."
"You could," I agree. "You could do that, but it won't do you much good. I created your geases, bitch; all but the one that keeps me bound to you in life. You think I can't break them? Even if you were able to create one that I couldn't break (something I highly doubt), it wouldn't matter. I'd be as good as dead. Dead in spirit, and in will, and you already know I won't obey you. And without a king to guide them, the youma would disband and scatter. You need someone truly bound to you around, and I'm not it. Go ahead and kill Kunzite," I say this casually, as though I don't care, all the while damning myself for the argument. I'm sorry, Kunzite… "It won't matter. I'll be gone soon enough after that."
I can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears, and it's funny. She wants so much to punish me, and to make me hurt for disobeying her, but she can't. Not and hold her kingdom.
"But someone must die for this…" Her words are almost plaintive, like she wants me to solve this dilemma for her. Of course, I can.
"Me." The word is simple. "I disobeyed you, so make me die. If you need it to be painful, then make it painful. This way, you don't lose anyone important, and you get to save face."
She nods slowly, and I can't believe I just talked my way into a death sentence. Oh Kunzite, I'm sorry, but it's better me than you. Because I believe what I said to her. I'm not important. And I couldn't live without you.
"You die." Her decision falls on me like, well, a death sentence. I almost laugh, and my teeth are chattering now like I've been cold for hours and I haven't noticed. Like I'm dead already. I have to ask her, though. Before she tells me it's now, because I need more time. I have to say goodbye. Goodbye to freezing the ice on the pond, just to hear it crack when it thaws. Goodbye to sleeping, and to waking up all warm and tangled in the sheets, and in Kunzite. Goodbye to flowers, to roses. Goodbye to hot showers, and to baths. Mostly, goodbye to Kunzite. I want to be with him before I… Before I die. One last time.
"An hour. Give me an hour."
I watch her head shake. "No. Now. Fetch Kunzite and let it be now."
I close my eyes. "No… You can't… Why does he have to watch?"
Her face doesn't change from its cold mask. "This is a punishment, Zoisite. You chose the terms of it yourself. Either you fetch him, or I will."
"I- I'll get him."
"Good. You have five minutes before I summon you both, ready or not. Do not explain things to him, Zoisite, or I will kill him after all. I am not beyond inventing more creative means of making you obey me if forced to it."
"Yes, Queen Beryl." I bow to her one last time and return to the bed that I was tucked into before she called me away. I look around, knowing this will be the last time I see it. The room is cool and dark, as a bedroom should be. And it's not mine anymore. I start to cry, by body shaking with sobs. I think I wake up Kunzite, because he moves his arms carefully around me.
"What's wrong?" he asks quietly. "Pain?"
I shake my head, turning to face him. "It's not so bad, I'm just… tired. It's over, Kunzite."
His expression changes from concern to pain. "No… It's not- I'll find a way out of it. It's not over."
"No, Kunzite." I make him look at me, in the eyes, so he can see I'm serious. "It's over. I crossed the line. You know it."
His face doesn't crumple. Not like most people's do when they cry. Tears just start to leak from his eyes, and I'm crying too, with my face and with my eyes. Our tears fall together on the pillow, mingling before sinking into the pillowslip. And Beryl's voice is in our minds, now, telling us that she wants to see us in the throne room. I'm cold, as I rise from the bed we used to share, colder still, when I lean into him for the teleport. I don't have the energy for it anymore.
We appear together in the throne room. I know she's searching his eyes for understanding, even as he tries to argue my case to her. I'm not paying much attention. I'm focused on standing, not seeing, or hearing or talking. Just feeling, and on the only warm places on my body, the places where I'm touching him. She's talking to me, now, and I'm saying something about an accident, how it wasn't my fault, but I'm not paying much attention to that either. It's just a role, a part I'm playing to keep up the façade. Now Kunzite's arguing again, and I hear him yell "No!" as a blast of hot death slams into my body, ripping a scream of pain from my throat.
There is something after that. Some brief interlude with cherry blossoms, and you, and I never get to tell you I'm sorry, Kunzite. I'm sorry it had to happen this way. I'm sorry I had to die. I'm sorry that it was the only thing she couldn't take away from me. I'm sorry, but it's an ending, and it's mine.
~*~
Finis