Disclaimer/Notes: Still not mine. So, the anniversary team up for OO features Adam as MM Black, Tori as NS Blue, Kira as DT Yellow, Bridge as SPD Red, and Xander as MF Green. I think the reason Bridge got promoted was Cruger retiring so Sky took Shadow Ranger's position. And seeing as how I wrote a story where Mack meets all the red rangers, it's now Bridge's turn. I try to mock them all; it doesn't mean I don't adore all of the red rangers. Enjoy. Oh, and I'd like to dedicate this to Green Gallant.
The Few, the Proud, the Red Rangers
Newly minted red ranger Bridge Carson was roughly shaken awake. "Wassamatta?" he asked groggily as the figure swam into focus. "Sky? What are you doing here?" He brightened. "Hey, you wanna grab some toast and talk about our feelings?"
Sky shook his head quickly, scratching furiously at himself. "No, Bridge, for the last time I don't want to talk about my feelings." He was still scratching all over his arms…his legs…his back. "Damn you, Cruger!" Sky savagely burst out. Suddenly Sky sank to his knees, clutching his head. "Sydney, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so eager to be Shadow Ranger!"
Bridge looked confused. "Shadow Ranger is an honor, Sky. It's even better than being red ranger. Why don't you want it anymore?"
"Cruger's uniform gave me fleas," Sky hissed. "They're so bad that Syd kicked me out of the house. I knew I should have been pink ranger. Syd's gonna go to Jack and forget all about me."
Bridge did not know what to say to his friend. Sky was a nutcase, always had been (He'd begged for a sequel to the SPD handbook, a sign he was mentally subnormal) but becoming Shadow Ranger had clearly been his undoing. "It's OK, buddy, really it is." The current red ranger got out of his bed and gingerly patted Sky's shoulder. "Let's go for a walk. We can go to the rec room and get some toast."
But as the two walked past the Command Centre, two pairs of hands reached out and seized the both of them. "It took you long enough," snarled the man holding Sky. "And to think, your father was one of us."
At the mention of his father Sky burst into tears. "I'm sorry, Daddy! I'm sorry!" Enraged at Sky's childish behavior, one of the other men kicked the blue/red/Shadow Ranger where men should not be kicked.
"Shut up!" roared Eric Meyers. "We're here for Bridge, not some flea bitten crybaby who's some dog's second choice for red ranger!"
"Easy, Eric," soothed Wes Collins. "Sky is only here for comic relief, just like when it was his season. The idea is for everyone to complain about him and poke fun at his crybaby ways. He's what red rangers should aspire not to be." Sky glared up at the Time Force ranger.
"What exactly is going on here?" questioned Bridge, looking around at the group of men, most of whom were middle aged and all of whom were clad in red. He felt out of place in his blue and green tye-dyed SPD shirt.
"He's not wearing red," TJ Johnson noticed. "What's wrong with you? You are a red ranger now, boy, not a hippie! You absolutely disgust me."
"Don't forget, TJ, that you had to step into my shoes, the greatest shoes ever worn by a red ranger simply because they were worn by me, the great, the amazing, the heroic Tommy Oliver!"
A few crickets chirped.
"Sorry," squeaked Cole Evans, who had been making the noises. Tommy glared.
"How dare you disrespect me, rookie," spat Tommy.
"Hold it, hold it!" hollered the man who had pulled Sky into the Command Centre. "I'm the greatest red ranger. I'm the original. Let's not forget Tommy, that you are the Technicolor Ranger."
"Gold Ranger powers," Tommy taunted. Jason shuddered.
Bridge was still looking around incredulously. Then he noticed Jack, his arms folded over his chest. "Hey Bridge," he greeted. "These are the red rangers. They're psychotic, aren't they?" Bridge could not do anything but nod. Sky, he saw, had spotted Jack. He pounced.
"You can't have Sydney!" Sky screeched.
Bridge started circling the base's computer deck. He stopped beside a curly haired youth who he recognized as Mackenzie Hartford. "How's it going?" asked Mack eagerly, bouncing up and down. "This place is so cool! Of course, my dad came up with all of the Overdrive technology all by himself."
"Aren't you supposed to be forty by now?" questioned Bridge. Mack shook his head.
"Naw, it's something my dad did. He sent me here to meet you and all the other red rangers because you get to come to my season for the anniversary episode. That's why you got promoted."
"I never even got to go into action as blue ranger!" protested Bridge. "All my fangirls have just been fantasizing about me in blue spandex the past two years! My season is over."
"I love fangirls," Mack sighed dreamily. "They'll do whatever you tell them to if you let them take one picture with you at those convention things they have every year."
"But don't you and your brainy pink ranger end up together?"
"Not the point, my friend. The point is that thanks to you, I'm not the newbie anymore."
Yet another man wearing a red Harley Davidson shirt and a motorcycle helmet stepped up. There was a tattoo on his bicep that read I did the Rocca twins in Vegas. Bridge blinked. "I'm Nick, the all powerful fire themed red ranger, the light that defeated the darkness. Bow down to me…if you dare."
"You're not even in the team up," Leo Corbett pointed out. "Why bother introducing yourself? We're just here to say welcome to our club, our brotherhood, our legacy…"
"Wait a minute," piped up Carter Grayson, who had been dreaming about Dana and her tendency to play doctor with him until Nick spoke, "Did someone say fire? I'll put it out!"
Andros, legendary Space ranger, began beating his head against the wall. "There is no fire, Carter. For the love of Zordon, shut up."
"Dudes, I still don't get why we're here. Couldn't his buddy Mr. Flea over here just tell him about what it means to be red ranger?" asked Conner McKnight as he kicked his soccer ball around the base and proceeded to hit Shane Clark in the face.
"I'm hungry," whined Rocky DeSantos. "I'm starving."
"Shut up, Rocky," Jason snapped.
Bridge's mind was starting to crack. It was late, he was surrounded by strange men, he wanted some toast, and a few of Sky's fleas seemed to have transferred to his body. "So…I have to go back in time to your season-" Bridge pointed at Mack, who nodded eagerly, "Because…why?"
"I get to be kidnapped!" Mack yelled gleefully. "And then Rose gets to go insane with worry and I get to come back and convince her never to worry again…" Mack's face fell, "And then, according to the author of this fanfiction, we have children…not sure why…"
"And that attention stealing plant boy Xander gets to come back too," huffed Nick.
"Let's not forget my wife has to go, too. Or did…" Conner's face twisted with rare concentration. "Let's see…carry the one, add four…"
"I may have been your science teacher but even I could figure out the timeline and that's math," boasted Tommy.
"I'm hungry," Rocky whined again.
"Can we just get to the point?" Bridge asked, wearily.
"Right," said Andros, pleased that this new ranger seemed to want to get things done. However, when Bridge flipped himself onto his hands Andros' respect for him wavered slightly. "Basically, just don't screw up. Make the rest of us look good, Bridge. Red spandex is very important spandex."
"May the power protect you," Jason said gravely.
Cole burst forwards and hugged Bridge. The green/blue/red ranger stiffened. "They grow up so fast," ole said tearfully. TJ smacked the back of the Wild Force ranger's head.
"Hungry," bellowed Rocky. Bridge looked at the second red morphin ranger.
"Come on. Let's get some toast."
"You're my hero!" The two walked out of the Command Centre, and soon the other red rangers who didn't belong there followed, locking Sky inside.
Many hour later Sky started pounding on the door. "Guys? Hello? I think the fleas are multiplying…"