Please Don't Let Her Find Me
By fiorae
Summary: Kutner's thoughts before he pulls the trigger. Spoilers for 'Simple Explanation'.
Author's Note: I cried. I won't lie, I seriously cried. It was so realistic it felt like I lost an actual friend myself. This is written more for me to find closure in the event but I feel it would be nice to share. I can't even bring myself to watch the show anymore since this episode.
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Please Don't Let Her Find Me
House , you're going to get a kick out of this one.
I can just picture you tapping away on that cane with one hand and stroking your chin with the other. Those angry eyebrows of yours will definitely be moving all over the place. Up the forehead, over the eyes. Behind your ear.
Hah hah. He is such an old quack.
You will probably take the lead, Foreman. You've always been the more collected of us. Well, after House anyway.
You'll take care of her … I know you will.
Taub. I don't know how you'll react. You probably won't even have a reaction. And then your lack of reaction will be your reaction until your true reaction surfaces. Man, listen to me. I'm starting to sound like that duck.
I just hope you won't be so hard on yourself.
Thirteen.
I …
I wish I weren't about to make you cry. I wish I could tell you …
… how great of a doctor you are.
I'm sorry guys. I know it won't make sense. I know you'll be angry. But it's better this way. It's better you don't mule over some note trying to figure out if you could have done something differently.
I say this with you in mind, House.
Wow. This thing is heavier than I thought. Cold too. … Okay. Here goes.
Wait. Hey …
Big guy?
… Please don't let her find me, okay?