1Title: She Remembers
Story Type: One Shot.
Warning: Self-loathing, suicidal reference
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Never have, never will.
Distribution: Ahh, check el bio de rach.
A/N: Yo. Read. Porfavor?? ;) Another nick in my belt, so to speak. Another inspiration put into words, to unblock my road to the ending of Stand My Ground. Enjoy.
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It hurts her to think about it.
It opens wounds she pretends don't exist, and leaves scars she covers up and then tries to ignore. She feels so pitiful. So precious. She can't even force herself to say his name anymore.
She knows that if she dares, she will break.
She hates them for speaking of him. When they say the name that she has tabooed, she wants to vomit. She wants to scream. Cry, die. She wants to cut the name with a knife, but knows it will do no good.
She likes to forget that he hurt her, and that everything is wrong. That things aren't as they used to be. Despite her lies to herself, she knows it will never be true.
Nothing can ever be the same.
She likes to pretend it's all okay, and that her heart... her soul, her body, her mind... all of those things aren't delicate. That they won't break when you drop them. She wishes she was like him. Not fake, yet plastic. So when you throw her, she doesn't shatter. She doesn't cry.
She goes and visits him everyday. She wants to play the old part. They annoying, obsessed, infatuated little girl, still innocent and naive. She talks to him like it's alright, like she doesn't cry herself to sleep every night. Like she's not so torn up inside.
He never says anything back. Doesn't give her anything to go on. She figures that he thinks if he doesn't answer, she'll stop talking. She eventually does, but never leaves. So she dwells on the past, quietly.
She remembers the days he saved her, the days he said her name. She remembers the days he shouted at her, glared at her, called her names. She remembers the times he called her annoying, when he knocked her out, broke her heart, when he said 'thank you'. She remembers when he was hurt, when she was hurt, and when she brought him flowers.
But the day she remembers the clearest, is the day they brought his broken body home. The day Naruto fulfilled his promise to her. He brought her dear boy back. Too bad he was in bad condition. He was so damaged...
She remembers the moment when he died in her arms. She remembers the blood. It smelled so metallic. But she liked the color. It reminded her of his eyes, spinning red with the sharingan. She remembers his parting words.
She remembers when her heart snapped in half, like a dry stick. Echoing on her bones, and splitting her ear drums. She remembers his weak triumph, Itachi was dead, defeated by his own hand. She remembers his smile, yeah, his smile. The first smile in a long time. And she remembers the tears that came with it. She also remembers his sad eyes, for he was not ready to die. He still had one ambition left, you know. She could never forget the feeling that overwhelmed her when he stopped breathing. The feeling of being so full of sorrow, yet so empty. Incomplete. The feeling hasn't gone away.
And she could never forget the feeling of his hand in hers, or the wetness of his tears on her shirt. The way she held him, and the way he let her. The way his heartbeat slowed, and the way his eyes shut and his hand went limp in hers. The finality of it.
The scars on her heart and wrists tell the story of her never ending depression. And today, the anniversary of the end of his life, she succeeds in her task to be with him again. She can't even feel the physical pain anymore. Not when the metal slices deep into her flesh. Not when she falls, landing hard yet gracefully on the wooden bedroom floor. That pain could never compare to her pain from her loss. She could feel her heart stop beating in her chest, and the darkness surrounded her. She could hear her inner-self screaming, begging the world to stop. Begging for another moment to breathe. But she didn't give in. She had to be with him. And then there he was. Beckoning her forth towards him with that mischievous smirk. Demanding to know why she was here. Why she was so early. And she was happy.
Down below, in a whole other world lay her note, with his parting words, now hers as well.
"I'm sorry."
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Mgghrf. How was it? I was listening to this really sad song and there you go. INSPIRATION dances work well too. -wink wink- See that button down there? Just give it a click and leave me a tickle. Review, review, review!!