You read the synopsis, I hope. Don't try and deny it, we can all imagine something like this happening every year. So, without further ado, enjoy!

Year 1:

"Headmaster, I know that our last Dark Arts professor met with an unfortunate accident-"

"He retired, Snape."

"My condolences."

*sigh*

"Anyways, I know that not many people want that position and it may be hard to find someone-"

"I've already found someone."

"Oh, really?" *grumble* "Well, who is it?"

"Oh, some mousy bloke I found in a tavern that hasn't had decent work in months."

*mumbled* "Great." *out loud* "You're so compassionate, Headmaster."

"Yes, I am, aren't I, Snape? Twenty points to Dumbledore!"

*sigh*

Year 2:

"Alright, so he clearly wasn't cut out for the job. I mean, 'servant of the Dark Lord' is kind of a deal-breaker."

"Yes…"

"So, I should think after this past year you would have even more trouble tying someone down, so I have a suggestion."

"But, Severus-"

"I know someone who would be glad to serve this school by teaching, and isn't even that hard to find…"

"I've already chosen a new teacher."

"Not again!" *sigh* "Who is it this time?"

"Oh, some pompous blond fellow who claims he's done all these amazing things and has written thousands of books detailing his great exploits, though they have yet to be confirmed as true."

*muttering* "You've got to be kidding me…"

Year 3:

"Headmaster, before you say anything, I just want to say I know someone who would gladly teach double-duty; both Potions and Dark Arts! He's quite capable and will do anything to-"

"Let's hire a werewolf that you've hated for over twenty years!"

*sarcastically* "Really?"

"Ooo! Great idea, Severus! You can be his understudy!"

*grinds teeth* "Understudy?"

"I'm so good at hiring people! Fifty points to Dumbledore!"

*internal screaming*

Year 4:

"Please! I will do anything to get this job! I'll do it for half the salary! I'll teach both classes! I'll even be nice to Potter!"

"Hm… How about a mentally unstable old warrior that doesn't trust anyone and will probably blame you for everything that goes wrong?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Year 5:

"It's not worth it. Just tell me who you're hiring this year so I can loathe them all year."

"Someone even more despicable than Voldemort. Yes, I think that would be a wonderful choice."

"Great. Why not just hire Voldemort himself?"

"Oh, we couldn't do that! Budget cuts wouldn't allow that."

"Let me get this straight: this school is having major budget cuts and you need a new teacher, but instead of hiring one that will work for bloody free, you're hiring some pink-clad spawn of Satan?"

"Yep."

"Just kill me now."

Year 6:

"That's it. I'm not joking around anymore. Give me the bloody position or I swear I will kill you. Do you hear me? I will kill you!"

"Well…"

"Too late!"

Year 7:

"Dumbledore…?"

*silence*

"I'm sorry I killed you."

*silence*

"Who am I supposed to argue with now?" *sob* "I'm so alone…"

*silence*

"Fine, I'll just go die in the most ironic way possible for a Slytherin! Wah!"

The End.

Yeah. So, that just happened. Let me know what you thought, and if you like this style or prefer actual stories and not just dialogue. Anyways, fair winds!