A/N: Today, February 20, is a special day, because today is the day HaveYouBeenAnAlumnus exists for exactly one year! (Imaginary applause) I'm really happy about where I came in one year, I mean: 12 stories, all of which have been reviewed (thirteen if you count this story)! I can't complain, especially since English isn't even my native language.
So I wrote this short story for the occasion. I hope you enjoy it, and I would like to thank you all for supporting me, especially Razell and jelliclesongs123.
Very slight gore. You've been warned.
oo0O0oo
Macavity's Victory
"Macavity!"
The Jellicles dropped everything when they heard Demeter scream. They fled to their dens while the sky erupted into a thunderstorm. Elders brought the kittens to safety while the Protectors stayed on the clearing to look out for the approaching peril.
"Stay close together," their leader, Munkustrap, said.
Alonzo nodded. "Is Old Deuteronomy safe?"
"I'm pretty sure he is," Munkustrap anwered. "Our Leader has been brought to the emergency bunker."
The words had barely left his mouth before lightning struck the Junkyard floor. They shielded their eyes with their paws, and when they looked at the slightly burnt spot on the ground, they saw a magnificent shape of ginger fur, with glowing eyes.
"Mwahahaha!" Macavity laughed, spreading fear over all who heard it.
"What do you want, Macavity?" Munkustrap asked, because he was foolish enough to think he could negotiate with the Hidden Paw.
"I still want the same thing I have always wanted, brother. To destroy your miserable little tribe, and get my revenge!"
With that, he leaped forward, his claws unsheathed. Munkustrap could jump aside just in time, but that only caused his fearsome attacker to strike Plato. While Macavity was holding down his victim, Alonzo attacked from the side. Macavity just chuckled and sliced his claws over the black and white tom's chest. He screamed and pressed his paws against his chest to try and stop the bleeding, but there was no use. Macavity then quickly finished off the tom underneath him, and turned around to get back to the main course.
Munkustrap's eyes were full of fear when he saw the ginger cat coming his way, his claws and teeth covered in blood. He was hungry for more.
The silver tabby turned around and tried to flee like a coward, but Macavity was much, much faster than him (he had been ever since they were kittens), and he made Munkustrap fall to the ground.
Macavity raised his paw in the air, ready to strike, when he heard a scream from above him. He looked up, and saw Admetus jumping down from a pile of junk. When the brown tom tried to take him down, Macavity grabbed a steel pipe from the floor and hit him so hard he was sure he heard bones break.
As he looked back down, he placed a sharp claw against Munkustrap's throat and whispered in his ear. "If you admit your failure, I will let you live."
"Oh, Macavity, you were far too powerful for us to fight you," Munkustrap said, panting with fear. "You truly are the Napoleon of Crime, your power is so great, you should have been the Leader of our tribe…"
"That's enough," Macavity said after enjoying the compliments for a while. "Let's get to the fun part: slaughtering helpless kittens and finally killing your Leader. And the best things is, I will let you watch." With that, he moved his paw in front of Munkustrap's face, hypnotizing him. Now, he wouldn't be able to do anything, but he could still see everything that was going on.
Macavity laughed, and his wonderful voice filled the night as
"Boss!"
Macavity looked up from his (stolen) laptop as one of his henchcats came in.
"What?" he asked, his voice dripping acid.
The black cat shifted uncomfortably at the irritated tone of his boss. "The… Uh… Squad 43 returned, and they've got one and a half million pounds worth of loot."
"Great, now get out."
"What are you doing?" the cat asked as he tried to look over Macavity's shoulder.
"Nothing that would make your life any better if you knew what it was."
"Are you writing?"
"If you would like to keep your head where it currently is, I would get out of here this very instant."
"Certainly, boss."
The cat left, and Macavity sighed as he placed his paws back on his keyboard.
Macavity laughed, and his wonderful voice filled the night as clouds darkened the sky. He closed his eyes to feel where his dear father was, and teleported away.
oo0O0oo
"Everyone, keep quiet."
The cats stayed close together in their hiding spot, not knowing what was going on. They soon discovered, however, as the roof of the den was blown away by a strong blast of wind. Lightning came through the open gap, and suddenly, the Hidden Paw was right in their middle!
The elders tried to defend the kittens, but they were no match for the wrath of the magnificent Macavity. The only one to try and flee was the Rum Tum Tugger, being the selfish Pollicle he was. He didn't get far, however, because before he could even reach the exit, he was struck in the back by a bolt of electricity.
Macavity took revenge on those cursed twins, who had betrayed him, leaving his organization to join the Jellicles. He took his revenge on that little magical cat, who refused to lend him his powers. He took his revenge on everyone.
Suddenly, a golden queen threw herself in front of him. "Oh, Macavity, I have always lov
"Mac? What are you doing in here?"
"Kind of in the middle of something right now, Griddlebone," Macavity answered as the white queen entered the room and placed a paw on Macavity's shoulder. He closed the laptop. "Don't I have the right to enjoy myself for a while?"
"Of course you do, Mac. But your henchcats are wondering what you're doing in here."
"I'm working out a genius masterplan to wipe out the Jellicles."
"Oh. You know, the weather forecast said it's gonna snow tonight."
A silence fell, until Macavity sighed and said: "What do you want me to do about it?"
"Come on, Mac, don't be so grouchy."
"I'm not being grouchy, I just… I just want to finish my evil plot."
"Okay. I'll come back later with a couple of mice for you, and maybe you'll explain your plan to me then."
"We'll see."
Griddlebone turned around to leave, but when she reached the door, Macavity called her name. "Griddle? I need you to give a message to all my henchcats."
"Okay, I'm listening."
"I'm gonna make a new rule. Whenever I'm in here, and you hear me typing," he said as he opened his laptop and randomly slammed his paws down on the keyboard, "or whether you don't hear me typing or whatever the Pollicle you hear me doing in here, when I'm in here it means that I'm working. That means don't come in. Now you think you can handle that?"
Griddlebone slowly nodded. "I'll tell them."
"Good. Now why don't you start and get the Pollicle out of here?"
Griddlebone closed the door in a way one closes a door when offended. Macavity sat back in his chair and buried his face in his paws with a loud sigh. All work and no play makes Mac a dull tom, he thought.
He woke his computer from sleep mode and continued.
"Oh, Macavity, I have always loved you! Please, take me with you and make me your mate!"
Macavity grinned as he kissed her, making sure Munkustrap saw it, the little Pollicle who had dared to take her from him.
"Demeter," Macavity said, "all that is left to do is kill Old Deuteronomy, and then you and I can rule the Junkyard, and all of London!"
"And then the world!" she screamed as she jumped into his paws.
"Wait for me, my love, I'll be back!"
He ran away, and shortly after returned. "I am the new ruler of the Junkyard!" he yelled.
He was the best leader there had ever been, and he ruled the world with his queen, and Munkustrap was sad for the rest of eternity.
The end.
oo0O0oo
"So? What do you think?"
"I don't know, it's a bit…"
"What?"
"…"
"Griddlebone, you're the only cat I trust enough to show this. Tell me your honest opinion."
"Well… On the seventh line, it says 'Munkustrap anwered' instead of 'answered'…"
"I'm not talking about grammar mistakes, Griddle. But thanks for noticing. Wait, I'll correct it…"
"It's just… The story is a bit all over the place. Since when can you shoot lightning?"
"Shhh."
"And I mean, it's basically just you saying you're awesome."
"I am."
"Oh, of course you are, dear. But you don't have to rub it in everyone's faces. And most of all: the ending is a bit underwhelming."
"Underwhelming?"
"Yes. You've been building up to killing your father for your entire life, and now it's just 'he ran away and then he came back'? You're just killing him off-screen?"
"I want to keep it K-rated."
"Well, I think you already failed at that."
"Anything else?"
"Yes! Why are we not in it!"
"What?"
"We don't get to do anything, and we can't even share in your loot! That's not fair!"
"Fine."
He was the best leader there had ever been, and he ruled the world with his queen and his henchcats, including the lovely Griddlebone, and Munkustrap was sad for the rest of eternity.
The end.
"Better?"
"Yes, much better. Oh, one more thing."
"WHAT?"
"Those circles you use between your paragraphs, you know, the oo0O0oo?"
"What about it?"
"It's exactly the same HaveYouBeenAnAlumnus uses."
"Who's that?"
"Oh, just a fanfiction author whose work I've been reading. It's really great, you should check out all his stories. That reminds me, today he exists for exactly one year."
"So what? Who cares if it's the same? As if that's the worst crime I've ever committed!"
"You're right. You know what? You should just upload it."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. It's a great story."
Suddenly, an alarm rang through the tunnels of Macavity's headquarters. "Oh dear," Griddlebone said, "That sounds like an attack."
"Can you take care of it for a while?" Macavity asked, "I'll come as soon as I uploaded this."
"Sure, let us do all the work…" Griddlebone muttered as she left the room.
Macavity read through his story one last time, and then logged in on Fanfiction with his account Napoleonofcrime129. As he went to the doc manager, he heard the battling noises in his lair.
Can't submit document. Document is currently being edited.
"Everlasting…" He had forgotten to close the document before trying to upload it (a problem more common than you might think). As he clicked the red cross in the upper right corner of the screen, a small window popped up.
Do you want to save changes you made to Document1?
"Triple Everlasting!" Macavity yelled. He hadn't even saved the document yet. He moved the mouse and clicked Save. There, he thought, nothing can stop me now.
Guess what? Suddenly, the door of his room opened and none other than Munkustrap burst in. "Here you are! Finally we have found your lair, you foul evildoer!" He jumped toward his younger brother, who tried to defend himself, but couldn't avoid a collision. The two toms toppled the table (wow, that's an alliteration V would be proud of), and Macavity's laptop fell into his Lava Pit of Evil, which was conveniently placed right behind his desk because Macavity wanted a cool-looking office so badly. He should've listened to Griddlebone, she told him it was a bad idea from the start.
Macavity stared at his brother in disbelief, who didn't seem to understand what was going on, as the piece of technology melted like ice cream in a microwave.
"Why…" the red tom slowly spoke, "Why do you have to take away every single bit of pleasure in my life!"
And Macavity was sad for the rest of eternity.
The end.