Ok, so this is just a little something I wrote after I watched "Hello, cruel world" and at the same time that I got so sad about Castiel, I was mad at Dean's behaviour, 'cause he was acting like he didn't care about it. And I though that if I couldn't make him cry for his angel in the show, at least I could do it on a fic!
This is the first fic i write in english and I am not a native speaker so forgive me for any mistakes, and please R&R :)
-Castiel, you son of a bitch, answer me!
He yells, not even recognizing his own voice through the alcohol and the pain.
-Why are you doing this? why are you doing this? Why…
He continues, the rough voice melting and breaking at every word. So as the body. He lies down on the floor, doesn't caring that is mud underneath him. In one hand an almost empty bottle of bourbon and on the other the treanchcoat, that he presses against his chest like his whole life depends on it.
-It wasn't supose to be this way, I loved you so much.
This comes more like a sob than a frase. He knows that is just too little, too late. Castiel's gone. And it doesn't matter how much he cries, pleads or yell angrily, he's not going to hear it. Because he is dead. He knew in the very minute that he saw the treanchcoat floating on the lake, 'cause the frigging angel never pulled that thing off. And now it's in his hands, getting even dirtier with the mud and the cold pouring rain.
One last gulp, one last plead. One last fucking honest minute before he comes back home and put himself in that strength-mask of his.
-I miss you. I-I don't know how to be without you anymore. Why couldn't I save you? It wasn't supose to be this way, I'm so sorry Cas, I'm so sorry…
And the sob restarts.