Shattered Ice
Elsa watched the flames crackle in the fireplace and lifted another snifter of brandy to her lips. The sweetness of it in her mouth gave way to a slow, deep burn that spread through her chest and left her feeling almost pleasantly hollow. She raised one hand and watched small ribbons of frost flutter through the air around her fingers before dissolving. Her eyes drifted shut, and she sagged back into her armchair, savouring the scent of burnt wood and the last, parting edge of the brandy.
There was a knock on the door. At this hour of the night, it could only be one person. She opened her eyes and reached for more brandy. She would need it.
"Enter."
It was Anna, just as she'd known it would be. The younger woman was unbearably lovely, with her slender form hidden beneath a nightgown and dressing gown, the silk sash of the garment tied into a childish bow about her waist. Anna moved to stand by the fire, and Elsa's eyes were drawn to her sister's form, to the silhouette outlined by the stuttering glow of the fire. Had it been anyone else, Elsa would have wondered if the decision to stand there was deliberate. But Anna had no idea of how alluring she really was, no idea of all the things she made Elsa want to do.
Oh, Elsa had encountered her fair share of seductresses once her preferences had become known and she'd cemented her hold on the throne. But none of their sophistication and poise had appealed to her as much as Anna's innocent charm.
In the warm light of day, Elsa was quite certain that she loved Anna. She wanted nothing more than to protect the younger woman, to keep her safe from anything that would harm her. In the cold of the night, however, in the darker hours when she had only the ice and shadows for company, it was different. Oh, yes, there was a monster inside her, and she knew exactly what it wanted.
She wanted to have Anna, to have her in every possible way. She wanted to brand Anna with her mouth, her hands, and her teeth. She wanted to take and take and take until there was not a single part of Anna that didn't belong to her. She wanted to claim Anna in the surest way there was.
Did that make her wicked?
Yes, she was sure it did. What kind of person lusted after their little sister? She chuckled softly and poured herself more brandy, eyes flicking up just in time to see Anna bite her lip in concern. She felt a sudden rush of anger. Didn't Anna know how she looked right now, biting her lip with that dressing gown just begging to be untied and tossed into the fire? Elsa's hands shook with a heady mixture of want and self-loathing as she tried to will an image away: Anna on the carpet in front of the fire, her nightgown torn to shreds, Elsa on top of her, inside her, fingers buried so deep that all Anna could do was clutch at her shoulder and sob as the pleasure overwhelmed her.
Elsa lifted the brandy to her lips. She was such a monster.
The tightness in her chest dwindled ever so slightly with the first sip of brandy, but she forced her hand to steady until the snifter was empty again. She poured herself some more but Anna stopped her, one slim hand wrapping around Elsa's wrist. Elsa hissed, burned, and jerked her hand back. The brandy that she'd managed to pour into her glass spilled.
"Sorry!" Anna grabbed a cloth off a nearby table and dabbed at the brandy that had landed on Elsa's cheek. That light touch was almost Elsa's undoing. She seized Anna's wrist tightly, too tightly.
"What do you think you're doing?"
Anna's eyes widened and filled with hurt. Her expression fell, and her shoulder slumped. Elsa felt like the monster so many people still thought she was. She tried to soften her voice and keep from slurring any of her words.
"Anna, it's late. You shouldn't be here."
"You haven't been sleeping," Anna murmured, pulling her hand away and rubbing at her wrist where Elsa had grabbed her. It was going to bruise.
Elsa looked away, staring into the fire. She was always hurting Anna. It was all she could do, it seemed. And maybe there was a part of her that wanted to hurt Anna – that wanted Anna to feel some of the pain she did. More than once she'd wondered if she could ever hurt Anna enough to drive her away, or would Anna always come back? The darkness in her heart stirred, her iron will dulled by too much brandy and the inexorable warmth of Anna's presence.
"If something is wrong, you can tell me, Elsa." Anna's hands fiddled with her dressing gown. "Is it about the wedding?"
"The wedding?" Elsa couldn't help herself. She gave a short, sharp bark of laughter and lurched out of her armchair. Oh, how she hated the way she stumbled, but she hated the way Anna immediately reached out to help her even more. How was she supposed to think with Anna touching her? She shrugged off Anna's help and staggered to her desk. Her palms slapped down on the wood, and Anna flinched at the sound. To her credit, however, she didn't back away, not even when frost began to cover the top of the desk. "What makes you think this has anything to do with the wedding?"
Anna walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around Elsa's waist. Elsa flinched, but Anna refused to let go. Didn't Anna have any what was going through her mind right now? Elsa turned and stared down at her little sister. She wanted nothing more in the world than to tilt Anna's chin up and kiss her before pushing her down onto the carpet and having her. It would be so easy, and Anna's eyes were filled with so much trust.
"I'm not going to leave you just because I'm getting married, Elsa. You know that. I'll still live in the palace."
That wasn't the point, and Anna had to know that too.
"Let go of me." Elsa spoke the words carefully, fighting to keep her voice steady. "And you know that's not enough, not for me." It was easy to forget that Anna wasn't as naïve as she used to be. The Anna in Elsa's mind was not the same as the young woman in front of her now, the one whose gaze was kind but knowing. Oh yes, Anna knew what Elsa wanted, even if she didn't understand all that Elsa's wanting entailed.
"Elsa…"
"Don't." Elsa moved forward now, and this time, Anna backed away. Snow trailed in Elsa's wake. In the fireplace, the fire died, and the room went dark, lit only by the last, flickering embers. "Don't tempt me. I'm not that strong, Anna. I've never been strong enough when it comes to you." She reached out to cup Anna's cheek but stopped, her hand a hair's breadth away.
"We can't do this, Elsa." Anna shook her head and backed away. "It's not right."
"What's not right is that he gets to have you for the rest of his life!" Elsa growled. It was a harsh, ugly sound. It was the sound of ice snapping and cracking, the sound of a glacier torn in two. The words tumbled out, one after the other, the stones that would start an avalanche. "You might still live in the palace, but you won't be mine. You'll be his! And I'll have to watch that, Anna, I'll have to watch the two of you together, wishing that it was me instead of him."
Anna trembled, and Elsa was suddenly aware of the fact that she had crossed the gap between them, that she was holding Anna's arms so tightly that it had to hurt. But the younger woman made no move to pull away. Instead, she simply continued to meet Elsa's gaze. Slowly, Elsa let go. A wave of shame washed over her. A painting of their parents stared back at her from the wall. What would they think of her? With a choked sob, she flung one hand out. Ice covered the wall. She couldn't bear to look at them or have them look at her.
A gentle hand cupped her cheek.
"I can't give you forever," Anna whispered. "You know that. I know that." Anna untied the sash of her dressing gown and let the garment slip off her shoulders and onto the floor. Her nightgown was a flimsy thing, a curious mix of innocence and sensuality. Elsa could not look away. "But I can give you one night, Elsa. One night."
"Don't offer me that." Elsa's fists clenched. The edges of her vision darkened. "You don't know what you're offering. You don't know what goes through my head. I'm telling you, you don't want to do this."
"And if I do?" Anna stepped forward, invading Elsa's space, making the older woman retreat. "I know how you look at me. I'm not stupid, Elsa!"
"I didn't say you were," Elsa muttered. "Anna, please, put your dressing gown back on."
"No." Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa. Elsa could freeze a harbour solid or bury a nation in snow, but she was powerless now. "Not unless you tell me that you don't want this, that you don't want me."
"Anna…"
"You can have me, Elsa." Anna's voice was rough, and each word sent a flash of heat through Elsa's body. "One night, that's all. But for that one night, I'll be yours. Whatever you want – whatever I can give – it's yours. All of it."
It was too much.
Elsa groaned. Her soul was cold, but her heart and body burned. There was heat, so much heat, in the room. It was in her hands and her lips, in the fervent, panicked touches she lavished on Anna. The younger woman sighed, her nightgown torn away with a few sharp gestures, and Elsa growled, low and deep in her throat.
Everything that Elsa had ever wanted was right in front of her, and she was too selfish to refuse it. She lost herself in Anna. And when Anna arched, perfect and lovely, breaking apart with Elsa's name on her lips, Elsa thought that nothing in whole world could ever be as beautiful.
But that wasn't enough. It could never be enough.
Even as Anna whimpered and went limp, still trying to recover, Elsa took her again. And then again and again, until she knew she was the only thing in Anna's mind, until Anna's entire world was Elsa on top of her, Elsa inside her, Elsa touching, tasting, taking.
Elsa took a perverse pleasure in knowing that she was Anna's first, that this was something she had taken that Anna would never be able to give to someone else. No matter what happened, this part of Anna was hers, for always and forever.
She took Anna until there was nothing the younger woman could do but quiver in her arms, exhausted and spent, utterly magnificent in her ruin. Elsa pressed a kiss to her forehead then. The lust and fury that had seized her were receding, leaving only affection and regret. Long after Anna fell asleep, Elsa remained awake, running her fingers through her sister's hair and trying to draw out each second of the night, afraid of what the dawn would bring.
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Author's Notes
As always, I do not own Frozen, and I am not making any money off of this.
Well, this isn't my usual style of story, but I thought I'd try my hand at something a bit darker. The story largely speaks for itself, so I won't comment too much on it here. Most of the time, I'm inclined to push for a happy ending. Here, I'll let you guys imagine how it plays out. Presumably, it's all quite tragic. Yes, there's something… fitting about ending it with uncertainty and sorrow. You can expect a return to my usually sunny disposition in my next story (I'm working on the next chapter of The Bargain and the next instalment of Charm Offensive).
I also write original fiction, mostly fantasy. You can find links to it in my profile.
As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.