A/N: Completely AU story here. Both from the show and in real life. So obviously the timeline is way off, but just go with it. I have no experience with any type of US Military Information, so if there's something that's blatantly incorrect, please feel free to let me know. I googled the things I included, but we all know Google lies. So again, please Review & let me know what you think! This will probably be no more than three chapters but I don't have them all planned out yet.

He missed them. That much was simple. He missed Kate and her flirty little smiles. He missed his daughter; the daughter who was off to college now, doing amazing things every day. He missed their son who was just a toddler when he left. He must be so big by now. He missed their daughter… and he'd never even gotten the chance to meet her. Never got to see what her eyes looked like in person, never got to hold her in his arms.

He dropped his head to his hands, rubbing them down his face. He wanted to go home, and be able to wrap himself up in his little family. He stood, brushing off the camo pants that had become an extension of him at this point. He never dreamed he'd be a part of the United States Army, but when the twin towers were attacked, he didn't even think about it. He needed to protect them. He needed to know that they could go to sleep safe every night. Even if that meant going across the world to defend his country. He didn't regret his decision to serve; it was the right thing to do. But missing milestones that everyone else in his family experienced definitely hurt.

Two weeks. In two weeks, he could go home. In two weeks, he could see his family. He could wrap his arms around his wife and snuggle his kids in the big bed. He couldn't wait. And he hadn't told Kate. He wanted to surprise her. He just wanted her.

He turned at the sound of the sergeant's voice, preparing himself for their next mission. He started pulling on his boots, tucking the small, crumpled picture of Kate, Alexis, Brayden, and Sophia deep into his left shoe. They were his guardians; the whole reason he was still alive. He sighed, thinking of them yet again. He grabbed at his jacket, tucking his wedding ring and dog tag into his shirt with a soft press of his lips against it. He would make it through this. The thought ran through his head just as an echoing explosion sounded behind him.

(…)

Kate was in the kitchen cooking dinner for the kids. Mac N' Cheese, of course. Brayden was going through a phase where that is all he'd eat. She'd tried to talk him into eating something else, but he was just as stubborn as her. So she just went with it. Castle's being gone was starting to take a toll on her. She'd lost her fight. "Bray, come eat!" she called, hearing the pattering of little footsteps getting louder and louder. As she set the bowl down, a flash of something on the TV caught her attention. An explosion. A bomb. On an US Army Camp. In Iraq. Where Castle was stationed. She froze, unable to move at all until a small hand tugged on her pants.

"I can't get up," he frowned. On auto-pilot, Kate lifted her son up into the chair, pushing him in enough so he could reach. She walked into the living room, turning the volume up. Her hand raised to cover her mouth as the news reporter confirmed her worst fears. Castle's station had been attacked. And there was nothing she could do about it. Not a single thing. She couldn't even find out if he was okay.

A tear slipped down her cheek, landing on the floor. God, she hated this. A soft cry sounded from upstairs. She wiped her tears away with her fingertips, taking a deep, steadying breath. "Bray, I'm getting your sister. Be careful."

A mumble came from the kitchen as she hurried up the stairs. She pushed the door open with her shoulder, moving into the darkened room. Sophia was standing with her little hands clasped around the bars of her crib, gasping for air.

"Hey, bug. What's the matter?" she murmured, her hands grasping her underarms. She cuddled her close to her chest, whispering soft words of comfort against her head. She peppered kisses across her daughter's forehead until her little eyes opened with clear focus. His eyes. Crap. Their daughter had his eyes, a perfect match, and that brought on more tears of her own.

After changing her diaper, Kate walked Sophia downstairs to keep an eye on her brother.

"Momma, I finished," Brayden told her from the table.

She nodded. "Okay. What do you say to a movie night cuddled up in the big bed tonight?"

"Yeah!" he cheered, scrambling down from his seat to rush into the living room. "Can we watch Toy Story? Phia likes that movie!"

"Sounds good, little man. Can you go find it for me?"

She put Sophia on the floor while she went to clean up the kitchen. She needed to keep her mind busy. Or else she'd break down, thinking of Castle and all the possibilities. And she couldn't do that. She needed to be positive, to stay strong so the kids wouldn't worry. She wasn't going to make it through this.

"Phia, come on," she heard Brayden say. She looked over to see Brayden on his hands and knees crawling alongside his sister as they made their way into her bedroom. She smiled. He was a good brother. Kate hurried to place the dishes in the dish washer, just planning on running it later on. She walked into her bedroom to find Brayden trying to pick Sophia up to get her on the bed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Little Man. Let me get her. You don't want to drop her, do you?" Kate asked, grabbing the baby from her son's tiny arms only to plop her down in the middle of the bed. Sophia burst into a fit of giggles at that, her tiny body shaking with her laughter.

"Sorry, Momma," Bray said dejectedly, his eyes focused on the floor.

Kate ran a hand through his hair. "It's okay, babe. Once you're a little bigger you can do that all the time. Just make sure I'm around, okay?"

He nodded, fisting two sections of the comforter in his hands as he hauled himself up and onto the bed. He crawled towards Sophia, leaning down to place a sloppy kiss on her forehead. Kate watched them with a small smile before turning to put the DVD in. As she skipped through the previews, she heard Sophia babbling at Brayden, no words making sense yet. But to Brayden's credit, he responded like he knew exactly what she was saying. And maybe he did. Maybe her kids had some sort of strange communication that she or Castle would never understand.

She settled onto the bed behind them after she had thrown a pair of leggings and one of Castle's t-shirts on. Within a few minutes, both kids had climbed up to lie against her. Sophia was spread across her chest, while Brayden laid his head against her thigh.

"Momma?" she heard Brayden ask.

"Hmm?"

"When's Daddy coming home?"

Kate fought back tears at his innocent question. "I don't know, baby. Hopefully soon."

"I miss him."

She swallowed. "I do, too. But I bet he misses us just as much."

He sighed. But didn't add anything further. Kate squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted him home. She wanted him cuddled up behind her with his wandering hands that she'd pretend to be mad at him for but really love every second of it. She wanted him to be able to hold their daughter for the first time. To see the joy that would spread over his face as she would wrap him around her little finger. She wanted to see him wrestle with their son, to let Brayden win just to make him smile. She just wanted him here.

And right now, she wasn't even sure that was a possibility. She wanted to be positive, to think he was alive and coming home to them any day now. But she wouldn't be able to get over herself if she believed that, and turned out to be wrong.

Her mind wandered for hours, long after the movie had finished and the kids had fallen asleep. She couldn't get him out of her mind. Not that she really wanted to, but she'd do anything to get to see him alive and well.

She curled herself around the kids a little tighter, eventually drifting off to a few winks of sleep.

(…)

Days passed without any word. Normally, they would've Skyped at least once within the past week or so, but she had heard nothing from him. No letters either. And those came pretty frequently. And that worried her to no end. It wasn't like Castle to make no contact for such a long period of time.

Lanie had heard about the attack through Esposito. So they both tried offering her comfort while she waited for what seemed like an eternity. The only bright side she could come up with was that she hadn't been informed of his death. She thought that a notice like that would've come pretty quick. So she clung to that shred of hope for a few weeks.

Kate had just tucked the kids into bed one night about two weeks after the accident. She settled herself onto the couch with a glass of wine and one of his books. It was as close as she could come to being with him. She had gotten through two chapters when a knock sounded at the door.

She was confused. Lanie, Espo, and Ryan always let her know if they'd be over and her dad was out at the cabin for the weekend.

Then her heart started hammering. No, she thought. Please don't let it be…

She opened the door hesitantly, immediately freezing when the person standing there registered. Her hand moved to her mouth, shakily as tears started rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

A/N 2: Thoughts?