Thank you but no
Summary: On the one hand, quitting was letting her win. On the other, holding out had never done anything for her. After Bitch attacks, Taylor makes a choice, and she's tired of dealing with bullies.
I wondered, for a moment, if I should not just... head back in. Keep my head high. Show that asshole that I'm not some meek, weak-spined little shit.
But I took a deep breath and calmed myself, because that was the anger and frustration talking and I couldn't, shouldn't let it drive me to make a mistake. As a cape, I wanted to get away from all this shit. I don't want to have anything more to do with this crap.
I'd been refusing to let Emma win for years, and all that it'd gotten me had been more pain.
What point was there in continuing to endure treatment I don't want?
This is not why I became a cape.
I became a cape so I could have a choice. So I could make a decision. I won't just put myself into another situation where even my cape identity is the meek and nerdy victim of yet another bully.
So fuck the Undersiders, fuck their money and, most of all, fuck Bitch.
"I'll come back in," I said, looking at Brian's almost hopeful smile. "But I'm leaving the money. Take it as a peace offering for wasting your time," I said, bitterly.
I don't really want to give them the money back, per se. But... I have to.
It's a symbol, and I know it is. If I accept this now, then maybe later I'll accept money to look the other way while someone else performs a crime, and maybe even later I'll accept money to use my bugs to rough up someone, to spy on people, to mess up their lives.
To become the bully. To become a villain.
"I'm a goddamn hero," I muttered to myself.
Brian nodded. "I see. I'm sorry," he said.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry this was a waste of time too."
In the end, I felt as if I was making the right choice. This is why I became a Cape.
I'm a hero, not a villain.
"Your things are still upstairs," Brian said. "Do you want to come back in or do you want me to fetch them for you?" he asked.
"You're a nice guy, Brian," I said. I knew why he was offering. He didn't seem to like bitch all that much, himself. At least, he seemed to be angry with her perhaps to an even greater degree than I was. I really think we could've been great friends. At least, I hope we could've been. Then again... "Just because we're not teammates doesn't mean we can't be friends, you know?"
He seemed surprised. "If you want to be a hero, and I'm a villain," he said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, almost giving him a conspiratory smile. "We're not capes, are we?"
He smiled. He had a nice smile, I'd realized before, but it was surprising. "Yeah. You're right," he said, offering me his hand. I shook it firmly. "I'll get your stuff."
He was right in that I didn't really want to go up again. Less so because of the danger of meeting bitch again - worst came to worst, the end result would be Bitch understanding why humans were instinctively afraid of most insects. There's some pretty venomous shit in the area. In all honesty, I was feeling a little lazy, as the adrenaline came down, my arm was starting to hurt pretty bad and I just wanted to get to the hospital.
Hiding all this from dad would be enough of a bitch as it was.