Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is owned by the great Watsuki-sensei and the evil multimedia empires (Sony, Shueisha, ADV Media Blasters, Fuji TV and Viz). I am poor and will always be so despite my best writing skills. No suing please.
A/N: Yes, I have a sick and twisted mind!
A very hot August day in 1888
Kamiya Dojo
Kenshin did not feel well. He felt hot, dizzy and just ill over all. The heat and humidity that permeated the air weren't helping, that was for certain. He decided that once he was done tending the vegetable garden, he would go and lie down in his and Kaoru's room for a bit. He had been hard at work since waking up, which was probably a stupid idea in hindsight.
Accordingly, when he finished up in the garden, he headed into the house to lie down for a bit. After unrolling the futon, he stripped so he would be cooler and lay down, with only a thin sheet covering his frail-looking body. The dizziness and heat had worsened. Kenshin's eyelids felt like dead weights. He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.
After an indeterminant length of time, Kenshin heard the door slide open through his sleep. He opened his eyes to greet Kaoru, but was shocked by whom he saw. Standing over the futon was not Kaoru, but Sanosuke!
"Aaw, you not feelin' good, lil guy?" queried Sano, grinning lecherously.
"Oro! Sano, what are you doing here?!" cried the shocked Kenshin, pulling the blanket over himself for modesty.
Sano stared at him as if he had gone mad.
"You musta got too hot workin' in the veggie garden," he said, kneeling down and feeling Kenshin's forehead. "It's alright. Just lemme cool you down."
To his horror, Sano pealed back the blanket, revealing Kenshin's nude body to him. Pulling out a bucket of water and wash cloth that hadn't been there just a second ago, he dipped the cloth in the water, wrung it out and started sponging Kenshin all over with it.
"Sano! Stop it! What are you doing? Where's Kaoru?" cried Kenshin, trying to move his limbs to knock Sano away from him, but having no luck.
The cloth moved down over Kenshin's chest, ribcage and abdomen. Lower and lower it went.
"Heh, that's cute, lover," said Sano as the cloth ran dangerously close to Kenshin's intimate area.
'Lover?!' thought Kenshin in alarm.
Kenshin started struggling as Sano's sponging became more and more intimate. The feeling of the tepid wetness on his private area made his skin crawl.
"Stop it! Only Kaoru's allowed to touch me there! Did you get into Megumi-dono's herbs again?" cried the struggling Kenshin.
"Oooo, you're in a feisty mood today. You must be sick. Maybe I should have the Vixen give you a checkup," said Sano as he dipped the cloth in the water and proceeded to sponge off Kenshin's immobile legs.
"Dammit, Sano," said Kenshin through clenched teeth.
Sano paid no attention and continued his unwelcome ministrations on the helpless redhead. Once he'd sponged off the front, Sano turned Kenshin over on his stomach and started running the wet cloth over his shoulders, lower back and buttocks.
"Where's Kaoru?" snarled Kenshin.
"As if you don't remember. OK, I'll humor ya. Kaoru went with the Vixen and I went with you last year when we found out who really loved who," explained Sano as he ran his fingers through Kenshin's hair. "You've made me a very happy rooster."
'Kaoru with Megumi-dono?' Kenshin was speechless with horror.
The horror seemed to snap his body out of whatever was holding it back. Suddenly, he bowled Sano over, jumped to his feet, grabbed his clothes and bokken and ran out of the dojo, dressing as he ran.
"Hey, Kenshin! Get back here! I ain't finished bathin' ya!" called Sano as he chased the diminutive redhead.
'Oh yes, you are,' thought Kenshin as he ran.
Kenshin ran over the Sumida River bridge and into Downtown Tokyo, toward the Oguni clinic where Sano and Megumi were supposed to be living as husband and wife. Kenshin slid the door open and ran into the clinic. Pausing only to ditch his sandals outside the living quarters, he tore open the sliding door and saw the most horrifying sight of his life.
Megumi and Kaoru were naked together in the futon and were going at it like mad, kissing deeply and running their fingers through each others' hair. At the sound of the door sliding open, they looked up and saw Kenshin standing there, stricken.
"K-Kaoru?" he choked out, unable to believe what he was seeing before him.
Kaoru glared at him as if he were a stranger instead of her husband of almost ten years.
"Can't you see Megumi-koi and I are busy, Kenshin?" she asked coldly.
"W-why?" Kenshin choked out, fighting back tears.
Just then, Sano ran into the clinic and wrapped his arms around Kenshin, hugging the smaller man to himself. Kenshin was too shocked and hurt at the sight of Kaoru and Megumi to even fight back.
"Thought ya could get away, huh lover?" Sano teased, nuzzling Kenshin's neck. "Now wutcha doin' here when I could be givin' you a nice bath back at our dojo?"
"Kaoru, I don't understand. What happened to us?" asked Kenshin, tears welling in his eyes.
Kaoru looked at him as if he were stupid.
"We settled this last year, Kenshin. There never really was an 'us'. We thought we were in love with each other, but really weren't. You love Sano and I love Megumi-koi," she said, running her fingers through Megumi's dark hair.
"It's as if he's forgotten the whole past year," commented Megumi.
"He was hot when I came into our bedroom," said Sano. "I think he was runnin' a fever. Could that make him fergit?"
"Yes. He could have a fever in his brain. I'd best examine him to see if that's the case. Would you mind taking Ken-san into the examining room and undressing him? I'll be in as soon as Kaoru-koi and I are dressed," said Megumi.
"That'll be great. Maybe ya'll can give him something for the fever so's I can get my man back," said Sano, caressing Kenshin's derriere.
"I'm not your man," said Kenshin through clenched teeth.
"Oooo someone's cranky," teased Megumi. "Take him to the exam room. I'll be there soon."
Before Kenshin could do anything, Sano was cradling him in his arms and carrying him into the exam room.
"Put me down!" cried Kenshin.
"Take it easy there, love. The Vixen'll find out what's wrong with ya, then me 'n' you can go back to our dojo and I'll give you that bath. Then you'll feel better," said Sano, giving Kenshin a kiss on the cheek.
To Kenshin's horror, he found that his body was immobile again. He could only lay helplessly as Sano started lifting him out of his clothes after laying him on the exam table.
Just then, Megumi and Kaoru came in. Megumi pulled her medical bag out of thin air and started examining Kenshin as he lay there helplessly. She poked, prodded and probed his whole body from head to toe and put him in several humiliating positions while Kaoru watched dispassionately and Sano pleasured himself right in the examining room.
"I need to get an accurate temperature reading," she said, after listening to Kenshin's heart with her icy-cold stethoscope. "Sano, Kaoru-koi, would you two roll him on his side while I prepare the thermometer?"
'On my side? Thermometer! Oh kami, no!' cried Kenshin in his mind as he felt the people he had trusted most roll him over on his side.
A second later, he felt the cold, stiff thermometer slide inside him. He closed his eyes against the tears that were again threatening to fall. How could his friends do this to him? How could the woman he loved betray him? He was too tired to struggle anymore so just lay there helplessly as Megumi held the cold, inexorable thermometer inside him.
After what seemed like an eternity, the thermometer was removed. Megumi looked at it in horror.
"Oh dear, he has a very high fever of 103 degrees! I don't know how he managed to make it here from the dojo without collapsing. Kaoru-koi, Sano, would you two please get the tub and fill it with tepid water? We need to immerse him and cool him down quickly," said Megumi.
Kaoru and Sano disappeared together to get the tub and brought it back instantly filled with water. To his horror, Kenshin felt himself being picked up and slipped into the water. Suddenly, the other three were undressed and slipped into the water as well, Sano taking Kenshin in his arms and caressing him, planting searing kisses on his mouth, neck and chest. Megumi and Kaoru started kissing each other on the mouth and caressing each other before Kenshin's horrified eyes.
"Stop it! What's wrong with all of you?" he cried out, as he broke into a feeble struggle. "Kaoru, why? I love you!"
"I love you. Why?" Kenshin sobbed as he felt a hand on his head, stroking his hair gently.
Kenshin's eyes flew open and locked with Kaoru's, looking down at him worriedly. She laid a cool, wet cloth against his forehead as she continued stroking his hair.
"Kenshin, you're finally awake. You had me so worried," said Kaoru as she ran another wet cloth over his body to cool him down.
"Kaoru? Where's Sano? Where's the tub? Aren't we at the clinic?" asked Kenshin in confusion.
"No, we've never left the dojo. I found you lying here and burning up yesterday. I tried to wake you, but you were completely out of it. Megumi-san said you probably took a fever from working outside in that heat for so long, you dummy. She and Sano helped me get you into the furo to bring down your fever. You were really incoherent. You kept saying things like 'lover', 'I'm not your man' and 'don't touch me'. You must've been having quite the dream," said Kaoru as she continued running the cloth over his body.
"More like a nightmare," said Kenshin, frowning.
This was one of the most disturbing dreams he had ever had, much worse than even the bloodiest nightmares of the Bakumatsu that had plagued him in his youth.
"Tell me about it. It'll help," said Kaoru.
After a moment's hesitation, Kenshin told Kaoru about Sano, herself, Megumi and the partner swapping, also their outrageous behavior at the clinic. For a moment, Kaoru looked as if she didn't know whether to be angry or laugh. In the end she laughed.
"You and Sano? Me and Megumi? Oh that's rich! Himura Kenshin, you have a twisted little mind," she said as she laughed till her sides ached.
"It's not funny," said Kenshin, frowning.
Kaoru stopped laughing and looked into his violet eyes, still oozing with the raw pain of the perceived betrayal. That coupled with his sad little face, made her stop laughing. Kaoru stretched out on the futon next to Kenshin and sank into his embrace.
"My poor darling. Well never mind. It's all over now," she said as she stroked his hair. "It was just a nightmare brought on by your fever. Sano loves Megumi and I love you. And if were into women, she's certainly not the type I'd pick."
"Would you say that again?" asked Kenshin.
"Say what again?" asked Kaoru.
"You know what," said Kenshin with just the slightest hint of a smile.
"I love you?" asked Kaoru.
Kenshin smiled.
"I love you. I loved you last year. I love you this year and I will love you next year and every year after that," said Kaoru, tracing Kenshin's jawline.
Kenshin smiled and hugged his wife close to him. They lay quietly together for a long time. Just as Kaoru thought Kenshin might be drifting off again, he spoke up.
"One question, when I was ill, what method was used to take my temperature?" he asked.
"It had to be done rectally because you were too out of it to hold a thermometer in your mouth," said Kaoru.
Kenshin shivered at the memory.
"Never have I been so happy to wake up before," he murmured, as he stroked his wife's hair.
"After a dream like that, I can see why," teased Kaoru, tapping Kenshin's nose with her finger. "Once you're better, it will be I and not Sano who bathes with you."
"Something to speed me along on my recovery then," said Kenshin with a chuckle.
~~Owari~~