I didn't think being apart from Maura would be this hard. I spent a lot of time hiding my true feelings for her, burying them under so much Catholic guilt that it became like a black hole. When I moved to Quantico, I figured I could just do the same thing. I was wrong, so very wrong. All I do is think about her, wishing I could have been less of a coward and admitted that I love her. She consumes my dreams now. Every night, I know that when I go to bed, her picture will be in my mind. Some nights, we FaceTime until one of us falls asleep. I suspect that being apart from me is hard on her too. We can't go more than one hour with texting or calling. Hearing her voice, that is what grounds me. Visions of her in pure ecstasy, nails racking across my skin, panting, screaming, all at the pleasure I am giving her, keep me up at night. I wake up, sweat covering my lean body, my panties sticking to me, and nothing helps until I slip my hand below my waist band, long fingers stroking me to cum with her name falling from my lips.
I settle into my home office, my heart weighing heavy with missing her, and a stack of papers to grade. It's been six months since I last saw Maura. I know I should take a trip home soon, but I'm afraid. If I get her in my arms, I will not let her go. There is no possible way she could feel the same. She has told me once before that I wouldn't be her type. Plus she deserves someone as sophisticated as she is, someone who can buy her the world. She deserves everything.
My phone buzzes, her name lighting up the screen. A smile graces my lips and I swipe to answer.
"Hey, Maur! I was just thinking about you." I tell her.
"We had a case today that made me wish you were still here, Jane. I needed you there." She sobs, I can barely make out what she is saying.
Instantly, my overdrive to protect her comes out along with the side that only she sees.
"Shhh. Shhh. Calm down." I say softly, "Tell me what I can do for you."
"They made fun of me, Jane. After all these years they still think I'm this defective Queen of the Dead." I can tell she is about to throw herself into a full body sob and I kick myself for not being there to comfort her.
"Baby, I'm going to need you to try and calm down. You have to breathe." I let the pet name slip, but I don't try to scramble to cover it up.
I hear sniffles come through the speaker, "Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Remember, like you do during yoga." My voice is calm and husky.
Maura follows my instructions and I hear her exhauling. "You called me Baby, Jane."
"I did." I try my hardest to sound like it isn't a big deal.
"You've never done that before." I can hear the confusion in her voice.
"Look, Maura, I'm not going to..." She cuts me off.
"I liked it." The whisper reaches me and it throws me
"Oh." The feelings for her, the ones I have tried to keep hidden, are fighting to come out.
A voice in the back of my head screams at me to tell her, that if anyone is worth the risk, it is Doctor Maura Isles.
"Jane." She husks out and the mood of this phone call has drastically changed.
"I'm in love with you." The confession falls from my mouth and is now out there, spoken into the world. There is no taking it back, playing it off as if it never happened. My heart is beating, thumping in my ears. The silence hangs thick in the air, until I hear her breath hitch.
"But.. But you left."
"I know, but I shouldn't have." I whisper.
"Jane."
"Look, I didn't say anything because I know there was no way in Hell for you to..."
"Do you know how many times I wished I could have told you that you are all I want in this world?" Maura says, her voice trembling with emotion.
"You deserve more than I could ever give you." I whisper out, my insecurities showing.
"The one thing nobody can give me is you, Jane. I love you. I want you." Her voice drops at the word 'want' and my core clenches.
"What do we do?" I ask, knowing I'd be willing to give up everything if I can be with her.
"Well, first, I have another confession to make." Maura's voice is husky, full of lust and I want nothing more than for her to be in front of me.
" ." I stutter, not meaning to.
"I need you to know, of all the nights I've kept awake, dreams of you hazing my mind. I would kneel on my bed, legs spread, pussy dripping, and fuck myself with my fingers, pretending it was you." She ends her sentence with a husky moan of my name.
Wetness floods my panties and I want nothing more than to touch her, taste her, prove how much I desire her.
"Shit, Maura." I growl.
"I called you because I was upset and you were who I wanted. Now, I'm horny and you are still the person I want."
A moan comes through the phone and my mouth goes dry. Gathering all of the courage I possess,
"What are you wearing?" My voice is husky, arousal evident.
"A tight blue Chanel." She tells me and I bite my lip at the image that comes to my mind.
When we worked together, tight dresses where my weakness. They encased all of her gorgeous curves and voluptuous breasts that I wanted nothing more than to suck and lick.
"God the things I would do to you if I were there." My words come out half as a moan, half as a growl.
"Tell me." She begs.
"Why, Doctor Ises? Do I need to tell you how if I were in front of you, I'd drop to my knees and bury my tongue into your cunt? Is that what you need to help you as your hand disappears underneath the skirt of that dress of your's? Tell me, tell me how just the thought has you wetter than ever before."
My panties are ruined and it is taking everything in me not to slip my hand beneath my shorts and touch myself. I am solely focused on Maura and making her cum without being near her. I close my eyes and lean back in my chair, listening to the sounds of grunts and sighs coming from the esteemed Doctor.
"I'm fucking drenched, Jane. I've ruined so many pairs of underwear over the course of our friendship, that some days it was just better not to wear any."
Air gets caught in my throat at her statement. I could kick myself knowing that if I had been bolder back in Boston, I could have trailed my hand up her thigh and been met with wet heat.
"All I can think about is my head between your thighs, Maura. Taking my time, slowly stroking you with my tongue, spreading your folds before I bring my tongue up to wrap around your clit to suck it into my mouth."
She says my name like a mantra.
"Thrust a finger inside, imagine that they are mine, long and deep inside of you."
"So good. So good, Jane." She husks.
I hear cute whimpers coming from the phone before my name is shouted. It becomes my favorite sound ever and I can't wait to hear it again.
"I need to see you. I'm booking a flight now." She informs me, breathless.
"Maura..." I stop, thinking about what I want to say.. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Jane. I will see you soon."
When she hangs up the phone, my brain swirls as it replays what just happened. Only in my dreams could I imagine her returning my feelings. A mix of lust and love fill me. I want her, but not just for the night. I want her forever.
A little over two hours pass by as I wait for Maura. I kept busy by cleaning up my apartment and taking a shower. When a knock comes at my door, I almost jump out of my skin with nerves and excitement. Looking through the peephole, I see my beautiful Doctor standing there. Throwing open the door, I pull her into my arms. Our lips meet for the first time and it feels as if every nerve ending in my body is exploding. My hands circle around her waist as hers go around my neck. Dragging her inside, I close the door quickly before pinning her to it. My hand travel down to slip under her coat, meeting skin. My eyebrows almost climb into my hairline as I pull away. When my eyes settle on her, I watch as she struggles to catch her breath.
"What are you wearing underneath?" I ask her, knowing the answer.
I watch her slightly shaking hands come up and start to unbutton her coat. When it hits the floor with a soft thud, I take in her naked body. I don't know where to look first. My eyes feast upon her perfect flesh. I lick my lips, like I am looking at my next meal. My mouth goes dry and I want nothing more than to quench my thirst with her. I reach out and glide my fingers up her side.
"You are so beautiful." I whisper out as I pull her against me again.
Hands roam across each other's bodies, getting familiar. Fantasies never came close to how soft she feels and the sound of her moans as I palm her breast. Maura hooks her leg around my waist and I take the hint. Scooping her up, by grabbing her perfect ass, and her legs wrap around me. I can feel the heat through my thin tank top. Moving her off the wall, I take Maura to my bedroom. She hangs off me as I set us down on the bed. When I pull away, she whimpers at the loss of contact. I come up and rip my tank top off my body, throwing it across the room. My shorts soon join them. Maura pulls me back down onto the bed, my hand trailing up her leg, bring it to rest on my hip.
I start to kiss down her neck, taking time to suck on her soft, ivory skin. Her fingers thread through my hair, pressing me against her skin harder.
"You feel so good." I mumble against her breast.
Bringing her nipple into my mouth, I suck. My tongue swirls around it before I bring it in between my teeth and bite slightly. Her hips rock up against me and a moan echos in my room. My other hand palms it's neglected twin, in perfect rhythm.
"How..." She husks out, breathless, "are you so good at this?"
"Too many nights of dreaming of what you'd taste like, feel like, and you are better than I ever imagined." I tell her before I capture her lips in a passionate kiss.
Maura unhooks my bra and her manicured fingers come up to cup them. I shake my head, not wanting to give in to pleasure, I move down her body again. There is nothing I want more than to prove I am a worthy lover. Before dawn comes and I have to leave this bed, I want her exhausted, voice hoarse from screaming, and sheets wet with cum. Running my tongue down her navel and her hips thrust up.
"Fuck me." She moans.
Both of my hands come up to her thighs, pushing them apart so I can settle between them. I take in her musky scent and moan. Blowing softly on her heated core, I watch as she clenches. She is dripping and pride fills me. It doesn't matter that I've never done this before. The only thing that is in my mind is I can't wait to taste her. Using my thumbs, I spread her folds apart and run my tongue through them. Fuck does she taste good. The shriek that comes from her urges me on. Slowly, I lick at her.
"You're fucking delicious." I mutter against her, the vibrations causing her back to arch up and a moan to escape.
I bring my hand up and palm her breast in perfect time. Hunger fills me. Sucking her clit into my mouth, a gasp sounds out. I thrust my tongue into her tight pussy and feel her walls clench around me.
"Jane!" She screams out, loud enough that I'm sure my neighbors are sure to hear.
My head bobs up and down between her smooth, pale thighs. I take my time, bringing her so close to the edge only to change my pace. This receives me a frustrated grunt from the honey blonde writhing beneath me. Her hands come down to twist in my unruly curls, dragging me up slightly so that my tongue brushes her clit. Latching onto the bundle of nerves,I suck hard. Maura's thighs close tightly around my head as her breathing comes out as short pants and screams of my name. I can feel her body start to tremble. I bring my tongue up to flick her clit. When she starts to cum, Maura's voice echos off my barren walls. I drink up all that she has to give and it makes me never want to leave my place between her legs. It is now my all time favorite thing to do. Her fingernails scratch my scalp and I wince, more to surprise than pain.
When I look up at her, Maura's body is flushed and covered in sweat. Her chest rises and falls quickly as she struggles to fill her lungs with air. I grin into her core as her hooded eyes glance down at me. Not breathing the contact, I bring my tongue out to stroke her slit from top to bottom. I watch as her eyes slam shut and she thrust her hips up. I bring my right hand to hold her down and my left trails the outside of her thigh.
"So good. So fucking good." She moans out.
"I need you inside me, please." Maura begs.
Still content in teasing her with my slow licks, I ignore her pleas. One of her hands comes to cup the back of my neck, scraping the skin there as she thrusts her hips again.
"Put your fucking fingers inside of me, Jane. Make me cum." Her voice hoarse with want.
Not being able to resist her when she is cursing, I thrust two long fingers inside of her and curl them, it not taking me that long to find that special spot that causes her to clench around my fingers, I move inside of her slowly, my tongue making circles around her clit. My neck starts to twinge slightly, put I move though the pain. Maura's moans grow louder and louder with every thrust. My name with a mix of God's is being shouted at my ceiling. She hooks a leg over my shoulder to push my face deeper into her pussy. It is getting harder to breath, but man is the taste of her worth it.
"I'm so close. Don't stop. Please, never stop."
Moving my fingers faster, Maura's hips move to match me thrust for thrust. With a final hard flick over her clit, her walls tighten around me, pulling me as deep as they can. Unintelligible screams come from the normally esteemed Doctor. Replacing my fingers with my tongue, I savor her taste. I'm so turned on by just pleasuring her that I am so close to climaxing myself. I bring my hand down and with a few circles of my own clit, I am cumming along with her. I moan out her name, my face still in her warm, wet core.
When her body starts to calm down, I ease my fingers out of her and start to kiss my way up her body before kissing her softly on the lips.
"Damn, Jane, I knew you'd be good but I never expected that." She mutters, exhaustion evident in her voice.
Before I can comment, she is fast asleep and curled into my own body. Kissing her sweetly on the forehead, I allow sleep to take over me.
My alarm rudely awakens me and Maura stirs in my arms. I silence it quickly and try to wiggle my way out of her embrace without waking her more. I escape to the bathroom. I hate to leave her in my bed, but I have to go to work. I shower quickly, wrapping a small white towel around my body. When I walk back in my room, I see Maura with her head propped up on hand. Sheets are pooled around around her waist. I stop dead in my tracks and I lick my lips as the early morning sun peaks through the curtains and shines off her ivory skin.
"Good morning, Darling." She says and I smile.
I walk over to her and kiss her softly on the lips, "I wish I could stay with you, but I have to go to work."
"It's alright."
As I get ready for the day, we settle back into our easy conversation. It was as it was as once before. I sit on the bed and put on my boots. When I look over Maura is smiling at me.
"I love you, Jane." She says sweetly.
"I love you, too, Maura." I reply back as I kiss her on the lips.
Classes seem to drag today, probably because my mind draws back to Maura at even moment of silence it has. Maybe I'll call her after this class since it is my lunch hour. The students are buzzing around, waiting for class to be dismissed. I bring my hand up to rub the pain in my neck. The sound of heels catches my attention and I turn to see a vision dressed in a tight red dress. A smirk comes to my lips as I see a few of my male students heads turn. I get up and sit on the edge of my desk.
"Doctor Isles, what a fabulous surprise."
"I thought I would join you for lunch, Dear." She tells me and I hear a few snickers amongst the kids.
I smile at her. I don't care what others think. How could I deny my feelings for her anymore? My neck twinges again and I bring my hand up to rub it.
"What's wrong, Jane?" Maura steps closer to me.
"My neck hurts for some reason." I mutter.
She brings up a hand to caress my arm,
"I know why your neck hurts, and I must say thank you." Maura leans in close, her eyes darkened with lust.
A blush rises in my cheeks, "Class dismissed."
"Way to go, Teach!" One of them says.
Maura chuckles when we are finally alone. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in tightly into me.
"You mentioned something about lunch?"
She smiles at me and clasps her hand in mine. It doesn't matter that some things are uncertain. I'll be wherever Maura Isles is, because life without her is not much of a life at all.