alternate ending where silas shoots aringarosa, and in terror, like the night of the earthquake, sees no option other than to run, gun still in his hand.
"If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him."
The verses ring through his head like a bell, deafening; his blood pounds as he runs with all the strength he can muster, accompanied by a familiar yet distant sense of helplessness and fear. In his left hand, the gun is colder than it was before — it stings, even, although it is a miracle he can still feel through the numbing realization that he has just destroyed everything he has ever known.
"For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."
A reminder to him that no matter how much he desires it, he cannot raise the gun up to his skull and pull that trigger. So humbling to know that just one small push will end the pathetic pile of sin he calls his life. A life where he has ended the one man he could have called family.
God's true punishment for this, he decides, is worse than death. It is that death is so close yet he is not allowed to embrace it with open arms.
The streets of London are empty at this time of night, and so Silas runs, not knowing where he is going, only accepting that anything offered to him now is more than what he deserves.
Yet it seems God has different plans.
As he sprints past another alley, something slams into him; losing his balance, Silas promptly falls on top of it, gun slipping from his hands and sliding against a building wall. The instinct to run, run, run still courses through his veins as he pushes himself up, not caring to look at what — or who — he has probably terrified to within inches of their life.
That is when he realizes this is not a coincidence.
Reaching out to grasp the gun again, Silas is unable to comprehend the words the stranger is saying (or yelling, rather) as he scoots backwards into a sitting position against the wall.
God is forgiving him.
Although it feels impossible to him that anyone could do such a thing, God truly is capable of the impossible — a few tears well in his eyes as he assures himself that while suicide and murder are both sins, killing a murderer most certainly is not.
And God has just given him an opportunity to be rid of his life, to suffer in eternal hell just as he should.
The stranger has gotten up now, hesitating a little, seeming to ponder whether the best course of action would be to run or call the police or do something about this strange, crying person huddled up on the streets. Clearly, he — or she? — has not noticed the gun yet, and Silas takes advantage of his pitiful state to say, "Please," reach a hand out as if he's asking for help.
Curiosity or perhaps generosity wins over caution as the person approaches slowly, asking something in words he cannot comprehend, for all he can process is how kind and benevolent his Lord is, how even one of the lowest beings on the planet can be offered a way out.
One, two, three - and he judges the stranger is close enough, and pushing the gun into their hand, he looks up to finally gaze at the face of his savior as he points it towards his own forehead, saying: "For the sake of God, shoot me."
A few seconds of silence as he readies himself, then - a gasp, a string of curses, and the gun clatters against the pavement.
God has not forgiven him.
an attempt to write something with my favorite character and also maybe revive this fandom (unlikely).
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