So... hey. I've been trying to improve my writing skills lately, and I figured one way of doing it would be to write my own self insert. I doubt it'll amount to much, really. But since you're here for the ride, I'll try to make it as entertaining as possible.

1: The Fucking Time-Space Continuum

You know what I've discovered in the last two hours? Blizzards suck.

I really don't have a fucking clue as to what happened after the light engulfed me in Jeremy's room. What I do know is that blizzards suck. A lot. Like... a lot a lot. A whole fucking lot. I could write a series of books about how much blizzards suck.

Simply put, I woke up in the middle of a raging snow storm. In clothes not designed for this kind of weather. I had black jeans, a black shirt with a guitar glyph and the word "fender" on it, and a black button-up polo with flames stitched onto it, and black and red tennis shoes.

Dark clothes are supposed to retain heat. That doesn't really help much if there is no heat in the first place.

As I walked along, I spotted a mountain range maybe twenty feet away. Damn blizzard made everything really difficult to see. Not to mention it was fucking cold. Did I mention I hate blizzards?

Deciding that perhaps some random town might exist at the foot of the mountain range, I followed it, shivering all the while. I idly wondered just how much longer I could go before I froze to death, was mauled by some random snow beast, got crushed under an avalanche...

I wasn't in the most optimistic mood. The only thing telling me this wasn't a dream was the cold. If this was a dream, I could just whisk myself away to a beach somewhere, hang out with Tran, Charlotte, Jeremy. Like the good ole days. The days before yesterday. When I screwed everything up.

Naturally, I'd spent the previous hour trying to turn this frozen wasteland into a desert, or at least somehow make it a little warmer. And naturally it hadn't worked.

I'd taken my glasses off long ago, fearing they might become frozen to my nose. Obviously, this didn't help the already difficult visibility.

I could still see well enough to notice an oddity several minutes later. I'd glanced up and looked at the mountain range immediately to my left as I trudged along.

There was a metal door. It was a normal door, like any other. But it was embedded into the rocky bottom of the range.

Struggling toward it, I reached out a trembling hand and touched it, trailing the apendage down to the large metal handle, attempting to grab it.

I realized my hands had gone numb, and I couldn't move my fingers.

Swearing, I kept the hand on the handle, and with my other hand began to push on the other, forcing the fingers to wrap around the handle.

Hoping my fingers would remain in the position they were currently in, I pulled back.

The door swung open, and a gush of warm air floated out to me, holding onto me, enticing me to go forward.

Silently thanking whoever was watching out for me that the door was not frozen, I hobbled through the doorway.

I seemed to be in some sort of corridor. Flourescent lights traced a line across the ceiling.

Too cold at the moment to care, I leaned against the right wall, sliding down until I sat, shaking on the floor.

I don't know how much time passed, but the shivering finally stopped.

And now I was bored. And scared. But mostly bored. And hungry.

Pushing myself up to my feet, I idly hoped I hadn't gotten frostbite.

Peering down the hall, I decided to move forward. Maybe I could find a phone and call someone. Maybe the local police.

'Course, I couldn't just say, "Hi, can you guys come and take me home? Shiny light ate me and shat me out into a blizzard, and I want to go home."

No, just no.

Reaching the end of the hallway, it split into two paths in either direction. Deciding I'd head left, I continued.

The hallways themselves were rather nondescript. The place certainly felt... mechanical, I guess you could say. Vents dotted the tops of walls, heat pouring from them, blue lines of paint on either wall at waist height, the whole place appearing to have been assembled with oddly shaped pieces of steel. The decorative scheme felt familiar, I noted, but I couldn't be sure why. Maybe one of the labs on campus looked like this place.

A few minutes later I passed by a door. Peering into the small window near the top of its frame, I saw a deserted room.

A room containing swords, whips, bows, maces, shields, staffs, and every imaginable weapon that one would expect to find during the medieval times.

Just where the hell was I?

I heard voices, and looked to my left. Shadows danced across the arcing hallway, growing larger.

I had a feeling I didn't want to meet the people who lived here.

Opening the door, I dashed in, closing it quietly behind me. Looking about the room, I saw a stand in the far corner, displaying any and all kinds of daggers. I ran to hide behind it, lest the people in the hall were headed for this room.

My intuition had been right; mere seconds after I had secured my hiding place, the door opened once more, revealing two people.

They seemed a little different from your average people. The two people, a male and a female, both had ears that, instead of being attached to the side of their heads, kind of hung down a bit, sticking outward. The ears were also pointy, so to speak, almost like small horns. The female's hair was long and wavy... and pink. The male's, too, was long, drawn together into a ponytail behind him. His hair color was a sharp teal. Lastly, both of them wore suits of armor, with the woman's stopping abruptly at the hips, her long, slender legs proudly shining in the lighting of the room. The male's armor was much the same, 'cept he wore cloth pants to cover his legs.

"Remind me again why we're here?" I heard the male say.

"Yuan demanded that Linda track down a usable being to help in the elimination of Sylvarant's chosen," she stated tiredly, as if this were the sixth time she had done so.

Hold up. Yuan? Sylvarant?

"So, what, that Mizuho chick ain't enough?" he inquired.

The woman walked toward a wall covered in spears, letting her gaze touch upon each one. "Affirmative. Yuan feels that, although the girl has the strength and skill one from Mizuho is capable of portraying, the girl also has a weak heart. Apparently, she was responsible for a horrible tragedy years ago, the result being a quarter of the population of Mizuho dieing. She may let the chosen live, something we, as Renegades, will not tolerate."

"And since Linda is a lazy ass leader who always leaves the work to us..." the male trailed off, walking towards her.

The woman turned around, holding a long, iron staff, several prongs circling one of the tips, then strapped it to her back. "We are to produce a potential partner for the girl."

Mizuho, Tethe'alla, Renegades...

Fucking time-space continuum stuck me in Tales of Symphonia. Great.