Meine Wertvollste Erinnerung- My Precious Memory

A.N: Just an idea that`s been plaguing my mind

"Finally" Erik spat out as he took his helmet off and placed it carefully on a nearby desk. Emma looked at him amusedly, "how long do you intend on staying in this isolated room? Forever I hope, because that helmet does not flatter your face when you're outside". Erik glared at her. "That is the only thing protecting me from Charles' mind invasion". Emma smiled at him, "Probably would've been useful to have a few months ago too".

He stared at her, "what?" he said as he turned towards her. He was blatantly clear to her that she was never, by no means ever, to invade his mind without his permission. It was in rare times like these where he felt her playing mind tricks on him, did he truly feel angered.

"If you ever try to invade my mind again, Emma-"

"Well it looks like Charles has already done that`` She really hadn`t meant to say it and would come to regret it later. But it had been bothering her for quite a long time. She would stare curiously into Erik`s mind impermissibly, and every time he took that helmet off she wondered why she saw a suspension in his mind. She hated not understanding it, and it may have been driving her mad for the past few months. It was such a small thing in his head, a tiny nick or kink in his mind that should have gone unnoticed, and it was pissing her off that she couldn't straighten it out (she`d be damned if it kept her up any more nights making her miss even an ounce of beauty sleep).

Erik turned to her in shock, `Charles?`, narrowing his eyes at her `I told you all not to speak his name, what is the meaning of this Emma?'

Emma`s face strained in concentration and began to squint contemplatively at Erik`s face.

`He`s stolen a memory`. Erik listens patiently and stands as still as possible and tells her she may search his mind. Emma rejoices inside at the permission, and at the conquest of a mind puzzle challenge. She wouldn't have been able to do it without him knowing so she takes her time searching his mind. When she finally finds that small kink it takes her a minute or so to read it.

`Hmm... it feels like staring out of an airplane at heavy.. clouds..`. `Clouds?' Erik repeats. Emma nods, `It`s a synesthetic kind of feeling.. I think the telepath has covered up one of your memories with a fake one` she explains as she tilts her head in slight excitement, `my, what a complex barrier'. She gives him a look that asks for permission to delve further into his mind and he looks at her with restrained reluctance before she slinks into his mind.

He begins to feel slight discomfort at her intense and unabashed face, kind of like the way someone will try to avoid eye contact with a dentist who is cleaning their molars. But instead he wants to turn his mind away. He hated having her inside his mind, the whole idea of entering one`s mind peeved him, and seeing as how he had survived the concentration camps it is understandable. However, there was one moment he remembered sharing with Charles, that one time Charles had showed him that memory of his mother, the sweetest memory he cherished and the only moment of his life in which he was truly happy. For that he was grateful, he was grateful to Charles for minding his space, for allowing him to see that memory, and when he had wanted him to, to guide and soothe, to `calm` his mind. Charles had saved his life, had shown him compassion and friendship, of peace and warmth. And although it was nice, it was not an option. Not his choice per say. And though he loved Charles for who he was and for how he used his powers, he was at this moment infuriated. He had never deducted that Charles would sink so low to do this, there were lines that they silently agreed never to cross. And he crossed it. He had tampered with his mind and Erik would not stand for it, in any sort of context it was brainwashing. And now Emma would fix it, he sighed.

Emma began to blink rapidly, 'I think I`ve found it... Lucky for you, memories can`t be erased from healthy minds, only repressed. It would seem that Charles went through a lot of trouble to put your happiest memory in a layer of prisons, which was rather hard to reach I must say. It`s radiating of waay too much sweetness and warmth that I may actually just throw up. I didn`t know the metal man was capable of this much feeling`

"You're saying that he took a vital memory away from me? Is it one of my mother?" Erik asks furiously

"Calm down metal man. I'm not so sure it's vital, I'd have to start repairing it first"

"Are you actually capable of doing that?"

Emma smiles sweetly at him, "honey, you're just in luck that I'm as equally skilled as Charles"

"I highly doubt that" Emma glares at him

"fine fine, I'm sorry. Now will you get to it, please?"

Emma sighs, and pauses for a while. `What is it?' Erik asks.

`This memory...the warmth of it... I don`t think I should free it..It might ..change you, your mindset that is. You don`t want that do you? This memory could be dangerous for the future Erik. Emotions can be like a veil of-'

'Emma. Charles stole a memory from me for whatever reason he thought was 'in my best interest'. But no one gets to decide that for me. It`s my mind, they're my memories, and I want them back. NOW'

'Okay sugar, calm down, no need to get nippy at the hand that feeds' Emma states while rolling her eyes. Then she looks at him, and in less than a nanosecond she easily, way too easily, releases the prison. It was like cutting a fine thread or tapping a sequence of dominos, a sudden strike of lighting... it all comes flooding back at once, all too fast.

And his whole world stands still at this very moment. As Erik remembers, he freezes in place at the enormous rush in his mind. It was like a powerful surge of river current crushing and obliterating past a dam quite thoroughly.

The false memory was leaving his mind, it had been shadowing over the real events of a not so normal day. He could now see which of his many memories were false.

It was a fake memory of a regular day of repetitive training sessions with Raven and the other children. It was not a notable day in fact. Just the regular routine of training sessions followed by private mulling time and a short game of chess and discussion with Charles.. But now he saw glimpses of the real events underneath it as that day crumbled away..

Feathery Touches

Whispery Sighs

Kisses

Deep Moans

Bluer than the sky eyes

Biting red lips

Tears

Cries for more

Panting

Heat

Booze

Fructose

Roses

It was too overwhelming, it was the warmest thing he`d ever felt, he was diving into a peaceful flaming ocean of mere warmth and serenity, and as cheesy as it sounded, It was in fact love in its purest form. And it was too much, it was all too much ecstasy. He could feel it, smell it, hear it, but he couldn`t quite see the entire memory yet. He couldn`t fully grasp it. Only feel it with his body and senses.

It started to become more lusty, feelings more passionate than he could ever describe, so passionate it felt like a place between life and death.

And then he began to see small things.

A mahogany desk?

A couch, someone`s bedroom door, he heard the tearing of clothes, sweet cries of his name that slowly became louder and louder and he was running towards the door. At this point he could feel Emma trying to reel him back but he shouted inside `NO!` And he just kept running, he had to see what was calling to him.

And it was released.

It had been a warm day, the warmest. The kids were out in the town, taking a break from training and he and Charles were settled in the garden. They were as usually, discussing the coexistence of human and mutant kind in friendly disagreement and content companionship.

`Do you really believe that there can ever be peace Charles?`

Charles turned to him and smiled, `hasn`t peace been kind to our world?'

'no matter how noble, it only prolongs the inevitable. It won't solve the problem, Charles. How long do you intend to play the hero? Only to be pushed around and stepped on by the lesser man?'

'my friend, we can argue on this topic forever but our outlooks may never meet. I choose to believe that the world is made up of more good at its very core and that everyone deserves peace. I believe that violence is not the solution, and that humans are no different from you and I. These wars all start because both sides can`t seem to win an argument` Charles smiled sorrowfully.

`Then how can you and I sit down here and chat so amiably?`

`Because we enjoy each other`s company too much` Charles chuckled. `I told you there was good in you Erik, but your decisions are your own, I can`t stop you from doing what you want".

`Yes you can` Erik smiles

`Yes, but I won`t`

`Charles, I`m glad I don't have your powers, because I'd thoroughly abuse them to make you do ridiculous things and abide to my every will. I`d make you stay by my side and follow me to the ends of the earth against your will` Erik stated amusedly as he sat back to look at the sky.

Charles looks at him with a mock frown, `now that's not considerate at all`

Erik chuckles at that, 'What do you say we stop this repetitive discussion and retire inside for a few drinks?' He just wasn't in a debatable mood for once, he always felt at ease around Charles.. the man's presence soothed him.

'sure' Charles smiles brilliantly at Erik.

Lately Erik's mind would go fuzzy and lightheaded, not that Charles had anything to do with it, telepathically that is. He just couldn't help but feel distracted by the remarkable man lately. Charles was good, really good. In fact too good for him, Erik thought. Charles was the only reason, the only restraint that allowed him to stay so calm, to actually consider Charles point of view on the world. But he was no good for Charles, he didn`t think that he ever would be what he wanted to be for Charles.

He and Charles had been drinking later that night, not many, just a few glasses that were enough for them to get a small buzz. They were laughing with each other about nonsensical stuff. Charles had wanted him to unwind for just a moment, an impossible feat he had earlier felt because of the whole Shaw situation, but the telepath had tried synching their minds to feel more at peace. He wanted this, needed this relaxation period, needed to forget. And at that moment the booze was really doing it for him somehow. Though he wasn't quite sure, it might have been Charles` eyes that were really doing it for him. Yes those.. they were probably the reason he blamed, for his unproductive day today.

And as silly as it sounded, it was by no means incorrect. Erik could get lost in those eyes for hours. Those eyes looked impossibly bluer than they did the first day he met Charles. He was enraptured with them, and everything around them. Everything that was Charles Xavier. He wanted to know everything about Charles, to hold him, he always did. Erik had wanted to be able to comfort and help Charles in the same way Charles had helped him. No one had showed him so much compassion as Charles had, and he doubted that he would have accepted it from any other person. Charles just had a way of...getting in his mind without literally needing to get into his mind.. but it was wrong.. he couldn`t, shouldn`t feel this way about his friend. It was all he could think to restrain himself.

He tried shaking the desires away, desires that would never be returned. Such desires were unfavourable and would only burden him. He had never felt for another person that way and didn't want that to change. But despite all the crap he was feeding himself, it might have been the booze, might have been Charles` eyes or the sudden silence between them when he had caressed Charles' cheek.

Charles looked at him in surprise and smiled warmly in the dim light of the fire place they sat near to. Charles was so trusting and unguided, naive, gentle, innocent, strong willed and resilient to the world`s hatred. All of which Erik was not. He rubbed Charles` cheek more affectionately as the man chuckled lightly and rolled his head away slightly. `Ahaha, what are you doing Erik?`

'I'm not sure' Erik said without thinking as he planted a gentle kiss on Charles' soft lips, his own were so much rougher in contrast but it felt good.

Charles hadn't budged. It had seemed as if though he hadn't even registered it. The kiss was innocently sweet, but conveyed so much of what he wanted to tell Charles. He wanted Charles to feel safe in the kiss, he wanted to be there for him. To protect him. Though Charles was no weakling or damsel and needn't protection, he felt an inexplicable urge to keep Charles safe in his arms. His mind and body were radiating of this desire and instinct of protection and devotion.

Erik pulled away slowly. His heart was thumping loudly, something that never happened when he kissed someone. He looked at Charles carefully, who only stared back with a shocked expression, eyes dancing back and fourth between Erik's.

Erik could see that Charles was trying his absolute best not to read his mind.

'read me' Erik spoke out softly as he confidently picked up Charles' right hand and placed it to his left temple. Charles' response was to lower that hand to Erik`s cheek and gently bring his face closer and innocently peck him on the lips. God they were acting like blushing high school virgins, which they both were certainly not.

Erik knew it was because they feared the future, they feared hurting each other, and if they allowed themselves to get this close... they would get burned, and hurt so much harder. It was dangerous. But they couldn't stop here.

Erik crushed their lips tighter, and he felt Charles sigh into the kiss and respond with equal passion, tongues fighting for dominance. They had both wanted this for so long, the feeling was mutual and words were no longer needed to express themselves to each other. Their feelings had built and pent up in them for so long, and was now exploding with release in that very living room. They could no longer deny it.

But then Charles' eyes shot open wide and pushed him away roughly, cursing his reckless behaviour. "I' m sorry! I can't do this... I think we're both just a little drunk". Erik smiled back, "drunk on love?", Charles glared back slightly, "this isn't a joke Erik.. we need to stop this"

Erik grabbed Charles by the back of his neck so that their eyes were aligned with each other. Charles slowly raised his eyes to meet his.

"Charles, please, please don't tell me that. You and I... we want the same thing, I felt it in your kiss, we have to stop lying to ourselves, Charles, please. There's always been something there, something more. More than just friendship or brotherhood, Charles, I know it. YOU know it. So please.. please don't make me feel like i'm losing my mind" Erik choked out pathetically, looking at him with so much emotion and desperation in his knitted brows and shuddering breath. He looked just as he did in the courtyard when he was turning the dish, desperate and entirely overwhelmed with his goal in mind.

Charles looked into his eyes, resolve crumbling as Erik bent back down to kiss him. Erik artfully and quickly began unbuttoning and shredding Charles' of his top as Charles kissed him back with returned vigor and helped him out of his own turtle neck. Erik grabbed under his knees and laid him down on the couch, still kissing him passionately as he did. After exploring more of Charles' delicious mouth, he slowly released those lips to give attention to Charles' lovely neck, he nipped at a very sensitive area on Charles neck that caused the man to moan out loudly. Charles ran one hand through Erik's hair and gripped it softly as the other hand hooked around the man's armpit to grip his shoulder. Erik's hands began to explore all of Charles' body.

He lowered both his hands down to Charles hips as he slowly, but powerfully began to grind down his erection into Charles' who gasped out in surprise. Erik was losing control and moving so hard that the couch began to scrape the floor. "Sorry" he tried to say, he would've tried to make a mental note to apologize for it in the morning if coherent thinking were possible for him at that moment. He was completely unaware of his surroundings that didnt involve Charles. Erik was losing it so much that all the metal in the room began to bend and the table joined the couch in rhthym as its contents began to clatter. "Sorry", he would've promised to say in the morning for ruining Charles beautiful floor, unknown to him that this would all be forgotten to him by morning.

"E-erik, we-we need to stop thi- mmmhh" "hmmm?". Charles moaned blissfully and in sync with Erik's own groans and grunts. "E-Erik, you're ruining the furniture and I would prefer it if we didnt rut on the couch like a couple of horny dogs or hormonal teenagers" Charles miraculously managed to draw out in a gasp. Without a word, Erik's hands returned to the undeside of Charles knees as he picked the younger man up and walked to the stairs, bodies flushed against each other. "I've never been carried by another man before" Charles mumbled with an embarrassed blush as Erik reclaimed his lips. Its not that Erik wanted Charles to feel anyway inferior, he just had a more predatory nature and needed to have Charles accept and trust him to take care of him.

Erik had clumsily gotten Charles against the wall next to the stairs as he stopped to kiss the man before carefully walking up the stairs.

It was quite a task to reach the bedroom because of all the delays they made between walls and tables as they had the urgent need to kiss and touch each other passionately and were scared to break away for even a second.

They were somehow able to manage their way into Charles bedroom eventually. Erik laid Charles down on the bed and climbed on top of him as they tore the rest of their clothes away. Charles grabbed the back of his neck and brought him back down in a hot kiss as his other hand gripped Erik's back. Erik came down, rubbing Charles' beautiful and soft body with his rougher hands. They began to touch and grip at each other all over as they sweetly kissed each other, intoxicated by the other's mouth.

Erik's hand finally made it's way down to Charles' erection, they were trying to make the moment last as long as possible before having reached that territory again, but all hope was lost as Erik began losing control once more. "Ah" Charles drawled out as Erik began stroking him with one hand and biting his neck. His other hand dashed to the tableside beside them and nearly ripped the drawer out of it with a violent tug. His hand searched madly for some sort of lubrication.

"Dammit Charles, where are your liquids?" Erik growled out in frustration.

"I n-never saw the n-need...but there's..ah- m-massage oil on the dresser. I-in the ch-chest" Charles spoke out as his head leaned all the way back in pleasure of Erik's wonderful hand, the sweat on his forehead had plastered strands of his hair there. Erik briefly turned to look behind him at the small metal chest as he used his powers to bring it to him immediately.

He reached into the chest and grabbed the oil out as the chest fell to the floor and he popped the cap open with his hand, applying a gracious amount to his fingers. Charles moans were driving him crazy. But Charles felt Erik was stroking him too hard. "E-Erik! sl-slow down, my friend" "I'll come too soon" Charles spoke out desperately. "I'm sorry, Charles" Erik said in a shuddering breath as he slowed his strokes down. "I-I lose control when i'm with you". Charles smiled up at him and lifted a hand to his face, "calm your mind" he spoke softly, using his powers to ease Erik. It felt like they were inside each other, they felt so full of warmth and love, there was no existence of pain or anger in that moment, this was all that they knew right now.

Erik had allowed himself to insert his fingers into Charles' entrance as he stared enraptured at the man's eyes, "tell me if it hurts" he said as he slowly started to twist his fingers, trying to make a scissoring motion to loosen Charles' up.

"I-I've never done this before, with a man" Charles spoke with a flushed face. "Really now? and here I was jealous and wondering how you learned to pleasure and entice a man so completely" Erik responded in a deep voice.

"Who would have thought we'd be doing this" Charles chuckled out, "Charles, please, it's rude and ball blowing to laugh during sex. And it makes it harder to stretch out your tight hole" Erik joked lightly. They were both so tense and filled with such immense urgency, that this was an attempt to calm themselves down. They wanted to make this last as long as possible. "It feels good" Charles spoke in his mind. Erik smiled at the encouragement as Charles rubbed his back.

Charles began to finally soften up to three fingers after a few minutes as Erik patiently and lovingly stretched him out, never breaking eye contact and making sure not to make Charles uncomfortable.

"Ah-ah!" Charles yelped out as Erik grazed his sweet spot, he had never felt such a way before and started to see little dots. "P-please...more...". Erik looked at him shocked and almost completely stopped what he was doing, he didnt think Charles could get anymore beautiful than this. And the noises he was making.. Erik wouldn't mind if they were the only thing he ever heard for the rest of his life. He moved his fingers again, memorizing the spot as Charles cried out even sweeter, Erik was so completely lost and enraptured to see the man lose control. Never had he seen Charles so defenseless and unrestrained. "Ch-Charles... I... I need to..." "yes, please, now" Charles panted out. It was too sexy when Charles couldn't even form a proper sentence, imagine what it'd be like when Erik actually entered Charles. Excitement stirred in Erik so much, he thought his penis might blow if he didnt take Charles now.

Slowly and carefully, but oh so painfully, he entered Charles with gritted teeth. Charles held an expression between pain and pleasure and urged Erik to keep moving "ah...yo-you're ..bi-bigger...". " Charles...if you say anything more, i'm afraid i might ram you until this bed collapses" Erik spoke out painfully with his eyes shut. "Go-go ahead then.. ram me..." Charles spoke incoherently.

And Erik did.

They cried for each other endlessly, moaning and gripping, tearing and swearing. So lost in their bliss with each other. And Charles' powers made it all the more amazing, as if they were reaching into each others souls in every way possible as they did it.

They continued to made love passionately for hours on end, unable to count how many times they'd come despite their ages.

Once they had come to a retire, they laid back panting heavily against each other, everything in the room was upturned and a total wreck. Lucky for them they had started early and the children's curfew was several hours to come.

Erik looked over to the door, locking it with his powers before looking back at Charles laying beside him. His thumb slowly began to stroke Charles' cheek as the man sat up before leanind down to kiss Erik so passionately. It felt as if he were giving him his last kiss on earth. He broke away from the kiss to stare down at a pleasantly surprised Erik.

`Iche liebe Dich, Charles... ` Erik spoke with a soft smile before his eyes slowly closed and his hand fell from Charles' face.

Charles smiled down sadly.

"Happy Valentines day Erik.."

And then everything faded to white.

Erik's eyes opened to the bright of the pot lights overhead. As he did a tear slipped out, similar to the one that slipped out the day Charles had shown him his mother... how could he forget? All those emotions and thoughts he never knew he had or could even possess. All those feelings he felt for Charles that had built up to that fateful day...just gone.. disappeared so easily.. things he`d never allow himself to forget, taken away from him. Unwillingly so. And now he had them back.. and could feel his hard world crumbling. He had found a part of himself that was locked up too long for his liking.

Emma had an emotionless expression on her face, but her eyes showed slight bewilderment and regret.

Erik looked up at her with a face that was a cross between pathetic and dangerous, the kind of dangerous you felt when you knew the worst sort of fate would befall you if you ignored it.

Emma, although not easily intimidated, retracted slightly.

He looked at her dangerously, shivering slightly but said in a calmly dark and chilling tone, `ìt`s mine... don`t you ever touch it, it`s never to be taken away again.. Understand?`

Emma stared at him with a frown, 'of course' she says, though she disagreed with her entire being, knowing how fully Erik was changed by these events.

`good, i may need you to place a mind barrier on me` he said as he went to grab his helmet and walked upstairs.

`where are you going?'

'to pay a visit'