"Please don't ask me!" Ethan begged as Charlie pressed for an answer. "She doesn't want anyone else to know."
"Ok, we understand that, Ethan, but if something happens to either Connie or one of her patients – are you going to be sorry that you didn't tell us?" Duffy commented.
"I...er..." Ethan stared nervously around Charlie's office. He looked back at the two nurses and sighed. "Chemo" He mumbled – part of him hoping that they wouldn't hear him. The part that was afraid that Connie might change her mind about having treatment if he let her secret out.
"She's having Chemo?!" Charlie repeated. "She shouldn't be here then – she'll pick up an infection."
"I know, Charlie – I've told her that. She's determined not to let the Cancer take over. I think ever since Grace and Sam left, she's felt like her job is the only thing she has left. It took me a long time to persuade her to even have treatment – she's been in complete denial over it." Ethan explained.
"The Cancer." Charlie asked. "Where is it?"
"It's a heart tumour." Ethan told them.
"I take it Sam and Grace don't know she having Chemo?" Duffy suddenly exclaimed.
"I'm not sure." Ethan admitted. "But I assume not – if Sam knew, he'd be here in a flash."
"Yes, I rather think he would." Charlie agreed.
"I've been giving her lifts to the Chemo and I tried to go in with her Charlie, but she wouldn't let me. I think she's worried about looking weak or something – and the nurse took me aside the other day and asked about family. I didn't know what to say. Apparently Connie spends all day watching the other patients with their families – but whenever one of the nurses ask if they can ring anyone for her, she says she doesn't want to worry them."
"That suggests to me, that she wishes she had them here, but doesn't know how to tell them – I mean it's not an easy conversation to have – and Connie would have to tell them – or at least Sam, over the phone." Duffy remarked quietly. "Cancer is a very lonely disease – as most long-term illness are, and the only family she has live far away in America. I can't even begin to imagine how alone Connie must feel."
"I don't know what to do." Ethan sighed. "Connie is intending to go to Aspen to spend Christmas with them and I'm pretty sure that she also intends to join in with the skiing."
Duffy shook her head. "That's madness!"
"Right, leave it with me, Ethan." Charlie got up to leave.
"W-what are you going to do?" Ethan stammered.
"I'm going to talk to Connie." He replied simply. "Don't panic, Ethan – I had to practically drag it out of you, but you can't deal with this on your own – and neither can she."
He headed to Connie's office and knocked on the door.
"Yes, Charlie?" She commented, without looking up. She did, however look up as he shut the door behind him and was aware from his expression that he was about to give her a further grilling over her health.
"I know." He said – deciding to opt for a simple statement to start with. He could see that she knew he was there about her health and therefore she knew exactly what he was talking about. "You can not be here while you are having Chemotherapy, Connie." He told her sternly.
"Ethan told you?"
"Don't blame Ethan – he's very loyal to you and did everything he could to stop me from finding out, but I've been a nurse for a long time, Connie – I read the signs and my point stands. You can't keep working here while you are having Chemo."
"Why not? - Sam did!" She retorted – cross at him for telling her what she could and couldn't do.
"It's not a competition!" Charlie exclaimed in exasperation. "That's what this is about, is it? _ You're vying with Sam again?! That is both stupid and dangerous, Connie." He scolded her. "And if I remember rightly – Sam ended up collapsing!"
"No!" Connie retorted. "Of course, I'm not vying with him – what do you think I am?! - and for your information, Sam doesn't even know. I don't know how to tell them."
Charlie nodded. "I guessed as much."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
Charlie ignored the question. "Why are you so set on doing this alone, Connie?"
Connie gave an involuntary shudder. It wasn't the same question Ethan had asked, but it was along the same lines – and she didn't want to answer it "I am alone." She responded turning away...
Connie sat in an armchair in the hospital lounge, hooked up to a drip – and once again, she was on her own, having refused offers of accompaniment from Ethan, Charlie and Duffy. She was Connie Beauchamp – the strong, independent powerhouse and this was not going to beat her. It was visiting time again and despite her yearning for independence, she stared longingly as all the other patients were visited by their families.
In the corridor outside the lounge, a nurse was accosted.
"Connie Beauchamp?"
"Are you visiting? Oh I am glad. She seems so lonely – keeps saying she doesn't want to worry anyone. She's over there by the window."
Sam turned to Grace. "Wait here, sweetheart. Let me go and talk to her first."
"But Dad..." She protested.
He crouched down, so he was better able to talk to his daughter. "She needs to stay calm, sweetie – and she doesn't know that we're here yet." He explained gently. Grace nodded her understanding.
Sam quietly walked over to where she was sat and crouched next to the chair as she turned to look at him. "Connie?"
"S-Sam? W-what?" She stuttered in surprise. "Y-you're here?"
"Of course I'm here – where else would I be?" He whispered. "And Grace is too." He turned and motioned to their daughter, who was waiting impatiently at the lounge doorway. Connie turned to look at her tearfully as Sam explained. "Charlie phoned me."
"I didn't want to worry you – either of you." Connie murmured as Grace approached and kissed her cheek. "And I didn't know how to tell you."
"Connie – when I had Cancer the only thing that got me through was you and Grace." Sam told her softly. "You don't need to do this alone."
Connie nodded as Grace perched on her lap and Sam comfortingly grasped her hand.
Connie no longer felt as lonely. Her family were there.