For Yumi.

-Note- Implied violence, lost limb, and bunch of speculations that might need correcting. Feel free to point out anything, and I hope that you will enjoy.

ShizuoxIzaya, ft. CeltyxShinra

Liability

I messed up.

Izaya rested his cheek on his hand over the counter, giving a playful smirk to Shinra who was happily chattering away. The informer hardly laughed at the jokes, but when he made an impertinent remark himself, Celty gave the brunette a friendly shove. Then the arm of the black jacket on Izaya's right side flapped. It was like a curtain during a small breeze, and Shizuo's stomach churned.

I really messed up.

Shinra was the first to notice his blonde friend looking ill. His perpetual smile faltered, but instead of addressing anything directly, he called for Izaya with the slightest flicker of his eyes. Crimson orbs replied back, narrowing in an exasperated manner, but the informer complied. He grasped the edge of his empty sleeve and shoved the hem into the jacket's side pocket. Celty nervously leaned against the doctor's shoulder, letting her hand grasp her boyfriend's under the table. Shinra turned his hand around to return the gesture. They both felt guilty for initiating this action, but secretly glad that they were able to on either side of each other.

"I don't mind." Izaya chuckled. Shinra's smile turned into an annoyed twitch. Celty probably looked away, though no one really knew which way she was looking with her swarming dark aura bellowing all over the place. The informer couldn't stand it when something as natural as holding hands became an act of guilt in front of him. It was also instinctive for people to feel sympathetic to the handicapped, but he didn't want any of this from his so called friends. But such was life, and he knew it too.

He turned away from the two only to face saddened looking brown eyes, staring at where the right arm was supposed to be. Izaya was sickened.

"What…you too, Shizu-chan? I don't need any sym-"

Shizuo reached for the brunette's remaining hand and gingerly seized it with both of his own. The three others at the table flinched. Shinra looked at Celty, and she turned her body to watch him point over his shoulder to the door with his thumb. The doctor smiled wearily, nodding several times before they both got up and left the room.

When the door closed quietly after the couple, the blonde started to look up, staring quizzically into red hues. The brunette's face gave away nothing, seemingly amused but at the same time bored. Izaya reckoned it was remorse that his rival felt, because Shizuo was such a good man at heart, wasn't he…

"It broke." The blonde finally spoke.

"Huh…?"

Shizuo ignored him, "A toy truck. It was when I was about five. I got it for my birthday, and I really liked it so that night I even took it to bed. I woke up and it had been pulverized by my horrible sleeping habits."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know why you're telling me this…" Izaya tried to slip his hand away, but the other didn't let him, instead holding on tighter.

"Another year," Izaya sighed as Shizuo continued, he was probably not escaping so he prepared himself to listen to the blonde's rant. "I was playing catch with my dad. I pitched a ball that he couldn't catch and it bore a hole right through the fence. Then…when we went to get it back, the ball was beat up like some busted tomato."

The informer sighed. He could imagine that.

"I was probably violent since birth. By the time I realized it, I was trying to throw a fridge at Kasuka and desks at classmates," The giant groaned. "I broke things that people worked hard on building, and I've hurt people I don't even know. I don't know how to control my anger, and eventually I just stopped thinking about it."

"Yes," the brunette chimed in derisively. "I know."

"Aren't you…" Painfully slow now, the words seemed to be forcing itself out of Shizuo's mouth, his eyes wandered again to the vacant sleeve, where the man's right arm was supposed to be. "Scared of me?"

Freak, beast, monster.

Words that rode on his back for as long as he could remember.

People left him because he was dangerous. He could easily uproot things like vending machines, and poles across the street twisted in his hands as if they were made of rubber. No one really deemed him normal, and soon people who had only been parts of the scenery to the blonde started to avert his path when they saw him. No one wanted to mess with him after they've been beaten up either.

Yet Izaya kept coming back. With the tenacity of a cockroach; no matter how many times Shizuo beat him up, he always managed to slip away and always came back, annoying as ever. But now…

He had managed to break that too.

The anguished cry and the brunette's face twisting in remarkable pain was a first to the blonde. Even being smacked down by vending machines only had the man mildly irritated that he had to quickly get himself back up. This was different. The prospect of his rival being a mortal human just like any of his enemies and feeling real pain after all these years. Whether they liked it or not, they had to acknowledge that things would not be the same with Izaya's dominant arm missing.

Shizuo realized he liked the comfort of having someone to constantly fight with without having to hold back. Now, was Izaya going to leave him too? The blonde gave an unconscious squeeze to the other's hand.

The informer pulled back immediately, finally managing to slip out of the giant's clutch. "What does it look like?" He said irritably, scooting back, red eyes flaring in aggravation as he slipped his hand into his pocket defensively. Shizuo's face fell, giving a half hearted shrug. Izaya snapped, standing up so suddenly that the stool underneath him gave way and toppled over. He flipped his switchblade open, pointed towards the blonde. "…Then I'll ask you the same."

Cinnamon eyes stared at the pointed object glinting in front of his face. Then at the informer's seriously pissed off face. He looked quite vulnerable, but it didn't stop him from always, always, always, trying to get on the blonde's nerves. Shizuo smiled to himself. Guess that meant he didn't have to worry about Izaya hanging around. The knife was brandished threateningly. "What are you laughing at?"

"I guess not," Shizuo chuckled, dodging an angry knife easily. He couldn't bring himself to fight back, not because he was feeling bad about the arm, but because he felt that he was starting to grasp how to control his anger. It was sort of a nostalgic feeling he felt after having a similar talk with his younger brother. Kasuka had treated him like a human, and Izaya was too, albeit in a different manner. Tugging the armless sleeve out of its pocket, the blonde reeled the informer in. He barely noticed the clumsy stabs Izaya was attempting over his stomach, hardly going in a few millimeters at a time. Instead, he grabbed the knife out of the other's hand and tossed it aside. "I'm not scared of you at all."

Izaya glowered, as he was quite stuck. "So? Are you going to finish me off now?"

Shizuo was starting to realize that it was the flea's own way of asking if he was back to his senses. It sort of did make him feel better.

"Dunno. I might have other plans, though." Shizuo answered, still tugging at the sleeve. He can't fix what's lost and gone, but he hoped to be strong enough to save what remained.

I keep writing things and going, what happened?

Hmmm... hoping to continue it.