Title: The way it should be.
Author: lara28l
Spoilers: Season 8
Rating: PG-13
I don't own anything!
Mulder was lying in his bed trying to sleep. Every time he closed his eye, he saw it all over again, faces, coldness, white light. He couldn't stand being on his own. He knew that he can't go to Scully, it was to late for that. She was probably sound asleep by now. He hasn't cared for her since he has been back. He was feeling like this world wasn't his any more, like everything has moved on.
'Scully, why did you do this to me?' He asked himself. In that moment he took his keys and went to his car. Drive to Scully's apartment took him over 20 minutes. When he was in front of the building, he turn off the engine and come out. He was standing, watching windows in her flat, lights were turn off. He should not be here, not after what he told her today, and how he treated her.
Like she was stranger to him, like those 8 years was nothing to him. He should treat her a lot better regardless her pregnancy. And that's it, the baby. He was afraid of it, it took his place. How she could do that to him, after the failed in-vitro. How could she moved on , found other man and got pregnant. He felt betrayed, like she has broken his heart into pieces. He decided to enter the building. When he was in front of her door, he couldn't understand why he was here. He was standing at 3 am at her place, knowing that she dosent love him anymore. He could SEE that every single time when she showed up at his place. Her growing belly was nothing else than a prof that he wasn't allowed to be close to her. Her new men took his place, ruining his entire life. He knew that she needed her sleep specially right now, so he used his own keys. She left them on his coffee table yesterday night, after their fight. He was so afraid something would happen to her, he has never seen her so angry before. He called her right after she run off. She told him that she was fine. He could sense that she was cold to him. He couldn't blame her, he was the on who started it. After all she was caring a child and he should be move sensitive to her.
He closed the door without making any voice. If she was asleep he couldn't wake her. Not like this. It was far too late. He went to her bedroom, taking his boots and jacket off. When he saw her his heart started beating faster. She was lying on her left side, with her left hand on her belly, like she was protecting her child from all bad things. She sighed and moved her hand and she started making circles on her stomach.
'The baby probably is moving' He thought watching her movements. He decided to lie down next to her. When he sat down, the mattress made a sound. Scully's eyes suddenly opened and she reached for her gun, but Mulder grabbed her arm.
"Mulder what the hell? What are you doing in my bed at 3 in the morning?" She was furious now, she hands were shacking. She started to breathing heavily, pain appeared on her face when she closed her eyes. Her hand was making circles on her stomach. She wasn't looking very well.
"I am sorry.. I.. Scully? What's wrong? Is it the baby? Dana talk to me!" He had now idea what was wrong.
"It's OK, I am fine Mulder. Relax ok?" She said calmly to him. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was really stressed now.
"But...you just. You looked like you were in pain!" He cried. Scully grab his palm and placed it on her belly. Then something kicked his palm from inside. His eyes lift up, and his mouth dropped full open.
"Wow.." he whispered. "That was..? Baby? Is it moving like that a lot?" He asked.
"Yes, it was the baby, Mulder. But he never has been moving like that before. Firstly you scared me like hell, and secondly I think he is reacting to your voice" She said smiling.
"I am sorry, I didn't want to scare you. You know that." He said with puppy eyes.
"I know, I know. Try to relax, it will help me to relax too. This little one certainly took over you." She said when she lying down again.
"What? What did you said?"
"Nothing Mulder" She looked away."Care to tell me what are you doing here so late?"
"I..I had this dream again, but this time it was about you. I saw you, and they took you. I had to check if you are ok. They..they were doing something to you..and."He stopped.
"Mulder and what ?"
"and the baby.." He added, looking at her tummy. She put her hand on her stomach, with tears in her eyes. When Mulder saw them he said.
"I am sorry. I should not come here. You need your rest. I will leave you. Goodnight Scully" He started to walk to the door. When he saw Scully in front of him. She looked into his eyes, and puled him to hugged him, her head on his shoulder. Her belly was pressed to his flat one. She could fell movements of her.. their baby. She smiled a little. When Mulder looked down.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Baby just kicked me, did you fell that?"
"That was baby kicking? Really? You have kick boxer in there. It probably keeping you awake all night" He said.
"Yes it does. But I am very,very happy to be waken up by something like that." She said with bright smile.
"I am sure you do. You should be in bed. It's cold you will be ill. You cant be ill right now." he said when he took her and carried her into bedroom again.
"Mulder! Put me down. I am very heavy right now. I can walk. Mulder!"
"Scully hold still, would you? I will put you in bed and I am going to my place"
"Your place? Why? You can stay here." She said to him when she was in her bed again.
"Ok I will be sleeping on the couch." He said.
"Mulder, I have big bed, we can sleep here. But if you don't want to... You can sleep in the living room" She said looking hurt.
"You really want me here? After what I did and said to you yesterday?"
"Mulder, I understand how you're feeling right now. I have lost you one Mulder. I cant go over it again" She said, looking at him. He walked up to her, sat next to her. He looked into her eyes.
"Ohh God, I am Sorry Scully. I know I have been harsh to you. I am trying to understand all this, but it is really hard to me. I don't have a job, everyone I cared about moved on. I don't have my world anymore, Scully. I am all alone "
"What? You are all alone? Mulder, believe me I haven't moved on. I couldn't to that to you." She cried.
"Yes you moved on, look at you Scully. That shows everything. You have a child on your own. It's all you always wanted. A child." He said with tears in his eyes. They were both crying now, Scully knew what was going now. 'He had no idea about the baby. He was thinking someone else is the father.'
"Mulder, look at me! I am seven and half months pregnant. And you were gone for six months." She said touching her belly.
"Seven and half months? You are looking like six months. Ohh God I am so stupid. I am so so sorry Scully. How could I do that to you?" He said with his head in his hands. Scully moved closer to him, and took his hands. He looked up at her, tears on his cheeks. She wiped them, and smiled at him.
"Mulder..Mulder. You have to know that I will always love you. When you died I wanted to die myself. If I wasn't pregnant I... Mulder I buried you, you were dead. Believe me Mulder I haven't moved on. I couldn't do that to you." She started crying now.
"Scully You didn't..."
"No Mulder..I was having a part of you..inside of me. I sill had you at my side". She said.
"I know we need to talk about this, but now you are going to sleep. You are carrying another life inside of you. You have to sleep and this day was stressful enough for both of you" He said, lying down next to was behind her back, with his hand on her hip.
"Yes, you right. I am glad you are back. It's good to know that this child will have a father" She said. Mulder kissed back of her head, and moved closer to her.
"I know. Go to sleep now. I love you"
"I love you too, Mulder" She said, and took his hand and placed it on her belly. He smiled to himself when he felt his baby kicking.
"Ok. That all of my sleep now. He woke up again." She said rolling to her back. He was making circles on her belly, trying to calm the baby.
"Shh, go to sleep. Is there something that can help me calm him?" He asked.
"Calm him? Ohh I don't know. You could talk to him, and keep moving your hand like that, it's really nice." She said looking a him. he kissed her forehead.
"Close your eyes, please" He went down, his head was on the line with her belly. He raised her t-shirt, and saw her delicate skin. He smiled when the baby kicked. Scully sighed, and put her hand on belly. Mulder smiled and kissed her belly button. Then baby kicked again.
"Hey little one. I know you have very good in there, but you have to be more careful. You Mum needs her sleep, she will be cranky tomorrow and I will be the one who will be her target, because I put you in there. So be gentle ok? Calm down and go to sleep baby. We will continue this tomorrow. I have a lot of things to say to you. But you have to know I love you and your Mum very, very much. I would die for both of you." He kissed her belly again ,laid next to her, and covered her with a blanket. He was watching her, and then he felt asleep. First time he wasn't afraid. He has his world back. He has home, women he loves and the baby, miracle baby on the way. He was complete.