Regret

By Yrane

I don't own Pokémon

Part of a group of one-shots on emotion. In this one the 'I' is an Eevee and the 'she' is an Espeon.

It was night. The wind rustled the leaves and I saw a glimpse of purple. I knew the time had come when I would step closer to freedom.

Lust filled every thought in my head.

But with it came doubt.

I was being so selfish.

I stood my ground as she approached me. But something was wrong. Memories swirled around before me just out of reach. She seemed to be from my forgotten past. I chose to follow this path for the isolation I loved yet I felt something warm when I saw her. Like the sun only without knowing my reigning night was over.

But I reminded myself how close liberation I was. If I could manage to feel strong enough hate for the prey I would change.

I had to be strong enough to break the shackles of mastery.

I didn't care how many got hurt on the way.

But when I faced her we glimpsed each others eyes.

Cold.

Isolated.

Lonely.

Each imprisoned in our own cage.

Yet the yearning for freedom forced me to forget that. I leapt into the fight consumed by hate. Hate for everything, hate for myself, hate for cruel life and above all hate for her.

She was changed.

She couldn't understand, she had freedom.

But her eyes said they needed something more.

"Sirius, I'm so glad I found you."

Her voice sounded genuinely happy. I was unforgiving. How could she be happy when I wasn't? How dare she. Instinct took hold of me as only one thought clouded my mind,

Kill or be killed.

Liberation beckoned and I couldn't help but destroy her. At this point it was instinctive. As soon as it was done I had a flash of memory.

A huge shadow and her fighting by me.

To protect me.

And me saying I owed her.

I didn't evolve by hate but by sorrow and regret.

For me freedom had to be paid in blood.

The blood of others

I was transforming but into something black.

As black as a starless night's shadow.

As black as my heart.

Freedom seemed so small now compared with the hope it had given me. Silently I watched the sun rise.

But it burnt my skin.

Then I knew, the price of being able to escape my captors was thus,

Night was my day.

Day was forbidden and painful. The morning sun flooded my nightmares.

But another worry infuriated my head,

What had I done? How many had paid in blood for the curse I thought was a blessing?

Her shattered body weighed on my mind. She was day I was night,

Good and evil.

I didn't want to hurt my captors any more.

I wanted to surrender.

To give them my soul which was black with my crimes.

But was better than nothing.

To bond.

I was no longer reluctant but I still didn't go, the dark forest was my home now. Though freedom wasn't as good as I thought it was. But it haunted me,

When I saw her I had a choice.

I chose wrong.

Now I had to bear the consequences.