Morgan let out a huge sigh of relief when he stood outside the door to his home. After a long and disturbing case, he was delighted and relieved to finally be going home to his wife and child. He threw his bag on the floor by the door and went in search of his wife. He quietly made his way up the stairs to their bedroom after he noticed that she wasn't in the living room.
He smile tenderly as he stood at the threshold of their bedroom, watching her sleep peacefully, her hands resting protectively on her little baby bump. He took his shoes off and carefully crawled into bed beside her. She stirred when he gently pressed a kiss on her forehead, stroking her baby bump.
"Hey," he whispered, smiling when her eyes fluttered open. "Good nap?"
"You're back," she smiled, kissing him quickly. "Finished your report?"
"Yeah." For several long moments, he remained silent, quietly watching her stroke her swollen belly.
Emily smiled tenderly as she saw his loving gaze focused on her belly. "Penny for your thoughts?"
He shrugged non-committally and sighed, settling close to her, his hand resting where his gaze had previously fallen. "It's nothing."
"You can tell me anything, you know..." she repeated what had become a mantra of sorts between them, covering his hand with hers.
"I'm just thinking about our babies..." he said softly, attempting a smile. "They'll be fine, right? One of them won't try to consume the other one, right?"
Emily smiled sympathetically, squeezing his hand. "They're going to be just fine," she assured, "It's been on my mind too... I looked it up; chimerism usually only occurs in the blastocyst stage or earlier – not once they've formed a fetus like the little ones."
"Really? You're sure it won't happen to us?" he murmured, lightly tracing random patterns over her stomach. "They're not here yet, but I love them so much already...I don't want to lose either one of them."
"I know," she replied softly, kissing him gently, "There's no guarantees, but it's not likely. And the doctor says we're doing just fine."
Morgan nodded and smiled, feeling reassured, the burden that had been weighing on his mind since Jeremy's mother had spoken of his twin being resorbed now lifted. "You're awfully calm for someone who's been worrying since she found out she was pregnant..." he remarked.
She laughed softly, "Well, you can't blame me for worrying." She shrugged. "But something wonderful happened today..."
"Really?" He gave a relaxed smile, soothed by the sound of her laughter. He wrapped her in a gentle hug, pulling her closer.
She crawled into his lap, moving his arms so that his hands were once again resting on her belly. "They're kicking..." she whispered.
"Really? They're kicking?" His brightest grin spread across his face as he moved his hands, searching for movement. "Are they kicking now?"
She pursed her lips, focusing on the slight movements. She moved one of her hands left and then down towards her hip. "Feel that?" she asked after a moment of waiting.
He frowned, focusing intently on feeling anything beneath his palm, but could find nothing. "No...I can't feel it." A slightly disappointed look crossed his face. "I guess they're still too little to be kicking hard enough for Daddy to feel. What does it feel like?"
"Kinda like..." She paused, searching for the right description. "You know how when you buy a fish and they put it in a plastic bag? It feels like when you put your hand against the bag and the fish bumps into your hand. If that makes any sense..."
"I'll have to go buy a fish now," he joked, grinning softly. "I love you," he murmured, kissing her gently. "Are they making you uncomfortable?"
"No," she smiled brightly, moving his hand to the other side of her stomach. "I like it, it's calming. It makes it seem more real, you know..."
"I know," he smiled brightly, "Watching them grow bigger inside you everyday makes it all worthwhile..."
"For now..." she said pointedly, smiling nonetheless, "It won't be so novel when I lose sight of my feet." Her smile brightened as he moved his hand around her baby bump, seeming so enthralled by them moving, even if he couldn't feel it yet. "I feel like I can finally start enjoying the pregnancy and not worry so much, now that I can feel them..."
"That's great. You've been worrying so much – it's good that you can finally enjoy having them. And you know I'll always be here for you."
"I know you will," she smirked, kissing him, "Especially once the hormones bring on the other effects..."
He smiled into the kiss. "Mmm – I think I like that. I love you, baby."
"I love you too." Emily wrapped her arms around her husband's neck, snuggling close to him, and sighed contentedly.
They sat in comfortable silence for several long moments, his hands continuing to wander over her stomach. "Garcia found Ellie's mom..." he murmured softly.
"That's good," she said genuinely, "Better than foster care." There was a moment of silence and she sighed quietly, knowing what was on Morgan's mind. "You're disappointed."
"No, not really..." he shook his head, "I just... I don't know..." He sighed heavily, looking at her with sad eyes. "I'm wondering whether, if I had done something different, maybe Detective Spicer wouldn't have died and Ellie would still have her dad..."
"Baby, there was nothing you could have done. Flynn made up his mind that Spicer wasn't leaving that room and he would have killed you too. You did the only thing you could."
"I know you're right, but I still wish that there was something I could do," he said quietly, "But she seems to be getting along with her mom..."
"Then, why do you seem so upset?" she asked, confused.
"I don't know. I guess I let myself get caught up with Ellie and I got involved. You were right – I shouldn't have let myself get so invested..."
Emily shook her head. "Honey, you cared about her because you used to be her. It's not bad to care, you just let it get a little too far."
He nodded slowly. "I guess. But I'm not sure if she's really going to be happy with her mom. She goes from pushing her away and ignoring her one moment to laughing and talking like best friends the next – is that possible?"
"As someone who has never really gotten along with my mother, I can honestly say that even after everything she's done, I still want to win her approval and have real mother-daughter relationship. A little girl needs her mom."
"You're probably right," he conceded quietly, "I guess I'm just overthinking things. She'll probably be fine; at least she'll be safe."
"It's okay to be a little upset...you cared about her. But this is for the best." She studied him for several moments, reading him as easily as if his thoughts were written on his skin. "You wanted to foster her, didn't you?"
"It might have crossed my mind once or twice," he admitted, "But I never seriously considered it because I know I have to put my family first."
She squeezed his hands, then kissed his palms. "I know how much you love the babies. Do you think that maybe you were displacing worry about leaving them without a daddy by trying to give Ellie the care that you'd want for them?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, Em. Maybe..." He didn't meet her concerned gaze, focusing instead on their joined hands. "I don't want to leave them without me, without a daddy. I've been there, I know what it's like, and I don't want them to have to go through it."
"I know you want to be there for them, to see them grow up, and I know you'll do anything to make that happen," she soothed, gently urging him to look at her. "But there are always going to be things you can't control. You just have to remember that there will always be someone who will love them – our mothers, Sarah, Desi, the team...they will never be Ellie.
"I know." He smiled softly, returning the pressure of her grip on his hands. "But I'm still going to be here. I won't let you have them all to yourself."
She laughed. "You'd better not. You helped me make them, you have to help with the diapers and the feedings and the crying.
"I can do everything else, but the feeding... Baby, I don't have the right...equipment for that." He grinned, eyeing her chest."
She rolled her eyes, smiling nonetheless. "Wait until we start weaning them onto formula – then it's your turn."
"I'd like that. First bottle goes to Daddy." He kissed her lips quickly, then her belly.
"I know you worry, but I have no doubt that you're going to be a wonderful daddy."