The Good Son:
Kirsten always wanted a normal son; a son that she would have feeling towards. One that wasn't selfish and self absorbed, and wouldn't make her feel like the worst mother on the planet. She remembered how 12 years ago the nurse at the hospital brought her to him, and as she saw him for the first time, she knew something was wrong with him right then and there.
She had to have an emergency Caesarean section, she didn't expect it. The pregnancy was going so well, and she hadn't even experienced any morning sickness, or anything else, but that evening she knew something was wrong. There was this strange, sharp pain, and the baby wasn't moving as much as he used to. Something inside her told her that she need to go to the hospital, NOW!
She remembered Sandy's panicked eyes and his reassurances; that everything will be okay, that they will get to the hospital and she'll be taken care of, he won't lose her or the baby, how he didn't even remember his life without her, that she was his world.
The hospital was busy that night; there was a big car accident and no one came to their assistance when they entered. Sandy helped her sit on the plastic chair next to the nurse's station and went running for help. Her pain growing worse, and in an attempt to distract herself from the pain she looked around the room. That was when she saw the blond woman for the first time. She looked so dirty and neglected, and looked about eight or nine months pregnant. Later, Kirsten had found out that she was brought out by her social worker, who had been concerned about her using drugs while pregnant and wanted her to be tested. But she had premature labor and had to be rushed to the hospital before any test was taken.
The doctor that examined Kirsten couldn't hear the baby's heart beat and ordered an emergency C-section. She was told she will be fully anesthetized during the operation. The doctor explained that she had to do it, that it's the only thing that would save the baby's life. She was scared, she didn't want to go under the knife, and she didn't want to be unconscious when her baby will be born. She had plans; Sandy was supposed to be there with her and help her practice her breathing, they bought a camera and were hoping to take pictures, this was their first child they were excited and happy. But now that happiness turned into fear.
Just before she was taken to the surgery room, she saw the blond woman again. The nurse had left the room, and the door open. There was a man next to her now, he looked big and threatening. The woman looked scared of him; he was shouting and cursing at the doctor next to him. But before she could understand what was happening there, she had been taken to surgery.
The baby was not all right. He was very small and very sick and the doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. He was placed in an incubator, and they were told that he has a 50% chance to survive. Kirsten was out of her mind with worry about the baby; she didn't want him to die. But when they brought her to him, she knew something was not right. Something inside her told her that there is something wrong with this kid, something more than physical, something that just did not make sense. But she blocked all those thought out, how could she think that? Her baby was sick, he was dying … she needed to be there for him. That's what mothers do.
She remembered the day the doctor told her that they're finally taking him out of the incubator. He was going to be all right and they could take him home in two weeks, she was so happy and relived. But that happiness did not last long.
Seth was a difficult baby, but she'd expected it. He was born sick and she knew she'd have her hands full with him. But as he grew older she realized there was something wrong with him, and it had nothing to do with his health – it was something else. She hated herself for thinking like that but she knew something was wrong with that kid, very wrong.
He used to sit around the house for hours playing video games, screaming at Kirsten to bring him food and drinks, and he would have a tantrum if he didn't get what he wanted, or if something did not go his way. Sandy and Kirsten tried to discipline him in order to make him more respectful to others but nothing seemed to help. Kirsten sometimes felt like he was the most self-centered, egotistical, laziest child on the planet. He had no friends, none whatsoever, and all the kids in his class seemed to hate him to the point that they didn't even want to talk to him. Kirsten knew that everyone though he was a loser, and deep down inside of her she thought it too. His only friend seemed to be a small ugly, mousy girl named Summer. She was by far the dumbest girl in school, and even at the age of twelve, there were rumors about her drinking, partying and taking drugs. But even she wasn't a real friend; she was just using him when she needed money, or she needed someone to do her homework for her. She never spoke to him in public, even she had a reputation to uphold.
Kirsten almost felt like she hated him sometimes. Sandy was disappointed too, she could tell. The way he looked at him sometimes after Seth was having one of his tantrums … she knew what he was thinking; she was thinking the same thing. How could that child be theirs? What had they done in another life to get him? Why them, WHY?
Sandy wanted to try again but she refused. She didn't want another child like Seth, and what mother would?
She was in the kitchen when she got the call that afternoon It was the hospital, they wanted her to come in, They didn't want to tell her why, just that it's very important that she came right away.
She drove down immediately, called Sandy on her way. He said he would meet her there, but she knew it will take him a while to get there as it was Tuesday, and he was working in the less fortunate part of town, volunteering his legal expertise to those in need.
The memories came flashing back when she entered the hospital, but she had to hurry up, she was told it was impotent for her to get there quickly.
The nurse in the nurse's station was looking at her oddly, but maybe she was just imagining things. She was told to wait and that the doctor would come right over.
That was when she saw her again, that blonde woman from twelve years ago. She looked much older, and even worse than before. Her face was filled with bruises and she was sobbing. Before Kirsten could even think, the doctor came and asked her to enter his office.
She was nervous. The doctor looked so serious and there was another man there, she thought he looked like a lawyer, which couldn't be good. She had been hoping that Sandy would be there with her, but she knew it would take him a while to arrive.
The doctor introduced the man beside him as the hospital lawyer. Kirsten nodded politely; she really just wanted to know what was going on. The doctor looked at her and then at the man beside him, and started talking.
He told her about a boy name Ryan. He was Seth's age, but lived with his mom and step-dad across town, in Chino. He was brought to Chino's hospital a few days ago after his step-father had beaten him and his mother. He was so badly hurt that he had needed a blood transfusion, and since the hospital had been low on blood that month, they asked his mother to donate the blood for him. It was when they tested her blood that they found out she couldn't possibly be the boy's biological mother. The hospital had to ask for an emergency unit of blood to be sent from another hospital, which eventually saved the boy's life. After Ryan recovered, the hospital began to investigate his mother.
"She produced what looked like a legitimate birth certificate from this hospital, that she had been given twelve years ago after she gave birth to her son in a Caesarean section. The only other woman," the Doctor continue, "that gave birth in a C-section that day … was you, Mrs. Cohen. We don't know how' it has happened, but we think that the babies were switched, and Ryan might be your biological son."
There was a moment of silence after the doctor ended. Kirsten didn't say anything, shocked. The doctor asked if she needed some water, but she shook her head. She looked at the doctor, and with a weak voice she said, "I want to see him … Ryan. I want to see him right now!" The doctor tried to tell her that there were still tests to be done, and they were still not sure of anything yet, but she insisted, and the doctor had no choice but to take her to him.
He explained that she wouldn't be able to talk to him. That she'd have to see him throw a glass window, but she didn't care. She needed to see him, and it had to be now.
The second Kirsten saw the boy, she knew. He was so thin, his face so bruised and sad, but she saw right through it. That bountiful, soft blond hair and his big blue eyes, just like her own, her mother's … He was thin, but he looked strong. He had the same serious look that Sandy got when he talked about his work, for the poor families that needed his legal expertise. Seth never looked like them, he had dark hair like Sandy but it wasn't soft and shiny, it was hard and curly and almost impossible to comb. Both she and Sandy had blue eyes but Seth's were dark and small, and almost evil. She always wondered about it, but she never thought, it never crossed her mind … not in a million years, that he might not be her son.
She felt like everything made sense now. There had always been something wrong with Seth, she always knew it, but hadn't let herself think about it. She hadn't wanted to think badly of her son, she wanted to be a good mother to him. What kind of mother hates her son?
She began to cry. All those years of sleepless nights, doubting herself and feeling like a failure as a parent, had come to an end. It all made sense now. She was not a bad mother; she had just been raising the wrong son.
The boy suddenly looked towards her. He couldn't see her, it was one of those one sided mirrors, where one could look into a room from the outside but the person in the room could not see out. His face turned directly at her made her cry harder. She wanted to run over to him and hug and kiss him, she wanted to tell him that it was all going to be okay, that she finally found her son, the son she always knew she deserved to have. The good son.
To be continued …