Rose: Here is yet another story submitted to TFS, hope you like!
Vegeta: Nappa's a dumba**
Rose: That may be true! But he's more popular then you on TFS! :D
Vegeta: The f**k he is! D:
Rose: Rudey!
Vegeta: Whatever, Rose does not own DBZ or TFS, now go f**k yourself.
Rose: Don't mind him! He's just a jerk is all, *Whispers: He's just mad cause Bulma made him sleep on the couch last night :D*
Vegeta: What?
Rose: NOTHING! START THE STORY! XD
The last abridged Freeza mission:
Vegeta woke bright and early, because of Freeza's orders to take down another planet. Nappa and Raditz were both still sleeping. Vegeta was standing above Nappa with a closed bottle of Gasoline and a liter. The same thoughts washed over him as they do everyday, he's first to wake up.
'I could do it, it would be SO easy, no one would even care... but will I need him against Freeza one day, I could use him as bait...' Then Nappa's eyes came open and Vegeta dropped the tools in his hands, "I was just about to wake you up for our mission," Vegeta explained and sat down at the table then snapped his fingers, "Cook," He ordered and Nappa got up to do it while humming and skipping around the kitchen. Vegeta ducked his head in his hand, 'I should have killed him,' He thought, like he always does as Nappa danced around him and set the table.
Then Raditz woke and came out to Vegeta, "I had a dream," Raditz informed his comrades.
"That's great!" Nappa smiled and continued dancing around, cooking eggs, bacon, and pancakes.
"Don't brag," Vegeta stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Raditz.
"It was about my little brother," Raditz informed and Vegeta turned to him seriously.
"Are we gonna have a new Raditz?" Nappa asked excitedly.
Vegeta turned to Nappa and glared deeply, "Don't you dare burn my food," He warned and Nappa got back to work mumbling something about how Vegeta is so grouchy in the morning. Then Vegeta turned to Raditz and motioned him to continue.
"Well," Raditz's eyes flash to Nappa then back to Vegeta, "I think he may still be-" He cut himself off and watched carefully at Nappa flipping the pancake as his heart raced, he looked back to Vegeta, "I think he's on-" he cut himself off yet again and watched Nappa stir the eggs, then Raditz looked back to Vegeta, sweat dripping down his face as his heart beat faster, his eyes flicked to Nappa one more time and he yelled, "DAMMIT VEGETA! I'm sorry, but you know I hate it when Nappa's cooking! It puts me on edge! He could blow us up! And I know-" Raditz noticed Vegeta began laughing, "And you did this on purpose, didn't you?" Raditz questioned.
"Well," Vegeta said, returning to his composure and looking at Raditz, "I was hungry and Nappa's a good cook whether you know it of not," Vegeta shrugged and gave a humorous smirk, "Scaring you was just a plus."
Raditz scowled at him which only humored Vegeta more, "Y'know I could cook," Raditz informed, watching Nappa intently as his heart raced.
"But Nappa's better," Vegeta informed with a shrug. Then all of a sudden Nappa burst into laughter, causing Vegeta and Raditz to jump and stare at him, "The hell Nappa?" Vegeta questioned.
"Raditz said he's good at cooking," Nappa said allowed a large smile covering his face and continued smirking with joy, when he got back to the cooking..
"Idiot," Vegeta mumbled then yelled out, "Stop cooking for a minute and come here!"
"Thank you," Raditz said half hearted, making a short bow, as Nappa took a seat next to Vegeta, "I think Kakarot is on Earth, still alive, and well, that's where he was sent when our planet was destroyed and he should be done killing everything on it now,"
"Okay, great we-" Vegeta began to speak but Nappa interrupted.
"We're gonna have a new Raditz! Your gonna be glad to not be the weakest anymore!" Nappa boasted.
"I won't be so sure Nappa," Vegeta smirked, also wanting to piss off Raditz, "Raditz has always been the weakest saiyan, weakest in history I've heard,"
"But Vegeta," Nappa added, "Kakarot's younger," Nappa explained, "So it would be weird if Kakarot were stronger than Raditz, because he's his big brother."
"Uh," Raditz was about to interrupt Nappa's stupidity when Vegeta signaled for him to just wait.
"So... that would mean... Raditz would have to be really weak-" Nappa stopped and burst out laughing, "Good one Vegeta! I get it now!"
"Good Nappa," Vegeta stated sarcastically, "I'm so glad you finally figured out what I said."
"Me too," Nappa agreed.
Raditz rolled his eyes then got back to his point, "Anyway, I was wondering if I could go get him."
"Your brother?" Vegeta asked, making sure they were on the same page, Raditz nodded in confirmation, "Sure, we'll go, after our mission on Planet Taz."
"Actually..." Raditz began to correct him, "I kinda wanted to go while you guys go to Planet Taz,"
"Freeza could kill you for that," Vegeta informed.
"Or Vegeta," Nappa added and got a look from Vegeta that read, 'Shut the hell up'.
"He won't if I bring back another warrior," Raditz informed, as Vegeta nodded with agreement, "And if I don't, I"ll have a good alibi, so he can't hurt me."
Vegeta sighed and was about to speak up but Raditz interrupted, "You guys can handle Planet Taz, but we might need help for the mission after that."
Vegeta nodded in agreement, "We could get it done faster with a fourth..." Vegeta began to think, "Alright, fine, but be back soon, I can't take Nappa's idiocy without at least one other sane person there to keep me sane."
Raditz nodded in approval when Nappa spoke up, "When do I get a secret mission that Freeza doesn't know about, to myself?" He questioned.
Vegeta looked to Nappa, "What do you think your doing, get cooking!" He ordered
"But you said-"
"I said to cook! Now do it!" Vegeta ordered in a bossy tone.
"Yes sir," Nappa said and walked toward the kitchen when Raditz ran in and started cooking.
"I'll do it, Nappa!" Raditz panicked and was cooking it himself as Vegeta was cracking up in tears.
"He's like a pet," Nappa smirked then all of a sudden his eyes got wide, like he came into realization of something important, "Pet's don't cook!" He panicked and pushed Raditz out of the way to cook, "No no doggy, you can't cook," Nappa said smartly.
Vegeta began laughing so hard he fell out of his chair with tears coming form his eyes, as Nappa and Raditz fought over who would cook. Then Nappa yelled, "Bad monkey!" And that's a terrible thing to say to a saiyan, so Vegeta and Raditz got serious and mad, and double teamed Nappa the traitor.
Vegeta and Nappa were flying toward Planet Taz in there space pods. Vegeta tried as hard as he could to ignore his comrade's annoying repetitive singing. The same song over and over again too, the batman theme song. He endured it for 6 long months, in those tiny blasted pods and enough was enough.
"GOD DAMMIT NAPPA!" Vegeta cursed at him, completely sick of his singing, "STOP singging that annoying song!"
"Uh, okay," Nappa agreed, then spoke up again, "But Vegeta."
"God dammit Nappa," Vegeta sighed, "What is it?"
"We're like batman," He explained.
"How the hell are we like batman?" Vegeta questioned.
"Because he's an alien slash demon thing and is used by the government to kill things, or other aliens or whatever," Nappa explained as if he were a genius.
"Nappa," Vegeta sighed, holding in his anger.
"Yes Vegeta?" Nappa questioned.
"THAT'S NOT BATMAN!" He screamed at him, sick of his stupidity.
"Oh, yeah," Nappa said, not believing him, "Then who's batman?"
"The batman story, is a long story," Vegeta said and let out a loud sigh, "As a child he fell in a bat cave and was scared of bats-"
"Nuh uh, Vegeta!" Nappa interrupted, disagreeing, "He's BAT man, there's no way he's scared of bats!"
"Whatever," Vegeta sighed, giving up and rubbing his temples.
After a long time of silence, Nappa's curiosity got to him, "Who do you think I was describing then?"
"Well, since last night, we watched the movie, I'm gonna guess Hellboy," Vegeta explained to him.
"Oh," Nappa said, coming to conclusion, "Oh yeah," he finally agreed.
"Then who's batman?" Nappa asked.
"God dammit Nappa," Vegeta sighed loudly with irritation, "Just shut the fuck up."
"Okay," Nappa said and looked out the window of his space pod, "Vegeta!" He spoke up.
"WHAT NOW NAPPA! YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT SUPERMAN NOW TOO!" He screamed.
"I was just gonna say we're about to land, but good idea! Let's talk about super man!" Nappa cheered happily.
"AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Vegeta screamed at the top of his lungs as the space pod landed, creating a huge crater on the planet below.
Once the smoke cleared and all was quiet, Nappa let out, "You sure scream loud, do you practice a lot?" Nappa questioned as they got out of the space pods, that happened to land in the middle of the woods, "Can you teach me to do that?" He asked, truly interested in the art, as Vegeta ignored him, turning on his scouter.
"I'm going to kill everything," Vegeta informed as he flew off to the larges power that appeared on his scouter.
"Okay, let's kill these sons a b**ches first!" He cheered and few in another direction to fight, "Then I will learn to scream!"
~Meanwhile, at the town Vegeta went to~
"Why are you doing this?" A young woman his age screamed while protecting her young son.
"Because it's fun!" Vegeta cheered and blasted her son with ease, "It's the only thing stopping me from killing my comrade!"
"You're a monster!" She yelled at him, tears streaming down her face at the loss of her son.
"At least I'm not dead," Vegeta commented, and blasted her, "It's always fun when they try to make me feel bad for this!" He smirked. Then the warriors flew over, some were oddly shaped humanoid beetles, "And so they come," Vegeta confirmed there arrival and dropped the child in his hand, turning to them. Vegeta laughed loudly, "You know, you 'good' warriors never seem to make it in time to protect the poor little children that put so much faith in you," He smirked at them mockingly and blasted away one last child.
"You're here because we're not working for Freeza, right?" One of them questioned.
Vegeta scowled in response and growled in his direction, "I'm here because I enjoy this," he informed, "I don't give a sh*t what Freeza's orders are!"
"Of course, that's why you're doing his bidding," One of them said sarcastically, "Like a dog on a leash."
Vegeta flew up at lightning speed and grabbed him by his throat, "Only until the time is right," Vegeta informed as the man began to panic for his life, scratching at Vegeta's hand over his throat, "Instead of dieing now, like you fools," He spat, squeezing his throat tighter, his neck started to bleed when he finally died and Vegeta let go, allowing him to unceremoniously land on the destroyed ground bellow.
~After the fight~
Nappa and Vegeta met up when they were done, near there space pods. Vegeta landed on the ground holding a pile of dead bodies of the people they killed. Vegeta landed with a pile of the more human- or saiyan bunch. Nappa landed with the pile of the beetle people.
"You brought the over-sized beetles?" Vegeta questioned in disgust.
"Yeah!" Nappa smiled, "I'm curious how they taste."
Vegeta made a small gaging reflex before saying, "Start cooking, I'm gonna listen in on Raditz."
"Yes sir, mister Stock-er, sir!" Nappa said and started cooking.
What do you mean, Stock-er?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow at him questioning, looking a bit offended.
"Well," Nappa stated, beginning his explanation, "Stock-ers listen in or watch people from a distance without them knowing, and that's what your doing."
"Shut the hell up Nappa," Vegeta warned, setting his scouter frequency to pick up Raditz's scouter, "It's not the same, he know's I'll be listening in."
After a moment of silence, Nappa began to giggle, realizing something, "If you think about it," He said earning an eye roll from Vegeta, "Freeza's a professional stack-er, making us wear these things, so that he can listen in on us when ever he wants, and I mean WHEN EVER he wants," Nappa informed.
Vegeta shivered at the thought, making a gang reflex, "You are one sick son of a b**ch, Nappa," Vegeta informed, emptying his mind of Freeza, "Just hurry and cook the food, sounds like Raditz kidnapped someone..." He droned off listening intently as to why Raditz kidnapped a baby.