It was a warm sunny day at number 1835 73rd Ave North East, Medina, Washington, and young Jennifer Gates was playing on her million dollar swing set, when she heard a very malevolent sounding laugh. She walked around to the front of her towering house and saw a tall man dressed all in black, with a black cape, and a white half mask standing on the top of the telephone pole. He was holding a knife, and was about to cut the telephone and internet wires when Jennifer shouted "Stop!"
The man must have been unaware that Jennifer was standing there, because when he heard Jennifer yell, he jumped about three feet, and luckily, landed on the top of the telephone pole. "What right have you to stop me cutting down this chandelier?" Growled the man in the mask. "What chandelier? Is it sparkly?" asked Jennifer excitedly. "This chandelier of… wait a second… where'd it go? What happened? Oh well… I'll cut this cord instead!" said the man, who seemed to be confused a great deal. "No! Wait! Please stop! You can't cut the telephone and internet communication wires! You'll put my daddy out of business!" Jennifer yelled urgently. "Would your father happen to go by the names Andre' or Fermin?" The man questioned. "No silly! Those were my two great, great, great, granddaddy's names!" Jennifer said. "Really? He said. "Well anyway, I shall now cut the telephone and internet communication wires!" (To himself) "What are telephones and internets anyway? Oh well." (Out loud) Mwahahahahahaha!"
Now if this mystery man had cut the wires then and there, then the story would be over, and a pretty boring story at that. But because I do not write boring stories, this is not what happened. Because the man had laughed so maniacally, he lost his balance, and fell to the ground. This man must have been extremely tough because he got right back up again. Jennifer, being only an ignorant six year old, ignored the fact that the man had just fallen over twenty feet, and started laughing at him! "You don't know what the internet is?" "No… do you?" He asked, looking offended. "Well Duh!" Jennifer exclaimed. "My daddy invented Microsoft!"
Feeling very left out and uninformed, the man said "What is this Microsoft you speak of, little girl? I demand you tell me!" "Whoa! You talk weird!" She said in a surprised tone. "How dare you insult me! I am the one and only Erik Destler!" he said. "Sorry um… Erik. But seriously, as a friend, what's with the half mask? It's really unfashionable, and plus, Masquerades totally went out of fashion in like the 1880's!" She pointed out. "Listen, I don't know who you are, or what's going on here, but you definitely need to check your calendar, because this is the 1880's!" yelled a very confused and unaware Erik. Trying to set Erik strait, Jennifer said "Okay number one, you have an extremely twisted imagination, number two, my name is Jennifer Katharine Gates, and number three, we are in the year two thousand five! You are so like 120 years ago!"
Upon hearing this, Erik became extremely frail and surprised, and managed to stutter out "W… wh… wha… what!" And then swooned like a girl, and fainted. "What's with him?" Asked a small boy who seemed to be Jennifer's younger brother. "Um… I… I…I don't know, Rory…" said Jennifer, sounding a little guilty. "MOM!" shouted Rory, sensing his sister's guilt.
Mrs. Gates sauntered out the front door with her beloved husband following behind. She danced her way down the front steps and on to the front walk. Then she carefully placed each pampered painted and pumped foot on the soft turf as she made her way over to her dear children. She wondered what was troubling them this time, the heat, the dirt, or each other. As it turned out, it was none of these but a man. She listened carefully, as her dear Rory boastfully explained how he got outside just in time to see Jennifer punch the man under the chin, and how the man had screamed and fell to the ground. Then Jenny told her own version of the story, which incidentally, sounded quit different than Rory's side. Jennifer's account on the incident was that she was swinging innocently on the swing set when she heard some one laughing. So she went around to the front of the house and saw the man standing on the top of the telephone poll holding a knife. He was about to cut the internet and telephone wires when she told him he shouldn't. Then when he fell down from the telephone poll she simply mentioned the fact that his half mask was a little old fashioned and he went ballistic.
Naturally, neither one of Mrs. Gates's dear children's stories sounded very likely, but luckily, saving the children from a long lecture on lying from their mother, Erik awoke. Instinctively, the first thing he did was feel to make sure his mask was in place. Then he opened his eyes, only to find the sun so bright that it forced him to close his eyes again. "What happened? Where am I? Who are you?" he asked anxiously. "You fainted." said Jennifer, trying desperately to prove her innocence from her brother's far fetched fantasy. "Oh god, it's all coming back to me now!" exclaimed Erik. "You! You ignorant scoundrel! You tried to steal my dear Christine from me!" he accused Bill. "Um… no, that must have been someone else…" said Bill. "Oh… woops! Hey! Now I remember what happened! When I cut the cord holding the chandelier, it activated a time machine of some sort, and I pushed that little red button that said 'Do not push!' " Erik explained. "Huh? Whatever." exclaimed Jennifer, Mrs. Gates, and Rory at the same time. "What in the world are you talking about?" asked Bill.
At this point, Erik saw the Gates family's confusion and realized, since they were so confused, he had complete power over them. So he said (extremely fast, might I add.) "Well basically, I got here on a time machine from the year 1881, by cutting a chandelier cord and pushing a little red button, and now that I'm here I may as well finish my business by cutting the cord for these things you call internet and telephone communications! Plus, now I shall kill you all with my magical Punjab Lasso." "Huh?" said the entire Gates family.
At this moment, Erik looked deeply upon the confused faces of the Gates family. It was like time was paused. He saw something he had never seen before in the eyes of any of the forty somewhat innocent civilians he'd murdered in his own time. He saw a life of happiness, love, and good fortune. He saw a sense of gratefulness and hope. He saw friendships, and jealousy, but what he mostly saw was peace.
Suddenly, a familiar scene flashed through Erik's mind. It was of the time some man had spared Erik's own life because the man's lover wished it so. It was this that made him decide to spare the Gates family. The woman who had convinced his contender to spare him was one he had known and loved well. She had gone by the name of Christine Dae. And for the second time in his life, he revealed the sensitive merciful person he truly was and broke down crying. His hot tears rolled down his cheeks, under his mask, and off his chin. His mask fell off and he could hear the Gates family's muffled gasps and screams. Rory even started crying, and hugging his mother's leg, but Erik didn't care, he was feeling too emotional at the moment. He finally collapsed to the ground and let everything out. He hadn't had a good cry like this for years. Suddenly, he heard a familiar sound coming from behind him. He turned and sitting there was… his monkey music box!
It was playing masquerade as usual, but something was different about it. It's face! The tedious wrinkles that used to inhabit the ugly monkey's face were gone! He was actually not ugly anymore! It was amazing! Erik stopped his tears, pulled himself together, and asked the Gates' something he never regretted asking. "How did they make my monkey box look so good? Can they do it to me too?" Now the gates by now had gotten over their confusion, and answered him right away. "Well basically, he got a face lift, which is a wonderful technology these days." Bill said. "Yeah! Mommy got one and now she has a pretty face!" Said Rory, who was only four years old, and didn't know any better. "Rory, you aren't supposed to tell people that!" Said a very aggravated and embarrassed Mrs. Gates. "Mary, don't punish him, he didn't know! And Eric, you come with me and I'll take you to a person I know who does face lifts… and skin surgery." Bill Gates said, beginning to take control. And so they went, Erik asking Bill questions about the technology all around him the entire way.
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