Written for ep. 9x13 "A Desperate Man"
This songfic is dedicated to Alli Roth (Foreign Music Lyrics).
I sat in the empty park. Night had fallen, and the stars were shining bright above me. The cold air bristled against me, sending a shudder through my body. I pulled my coat closer around me, and felt something nudge against me. I reached into the pocket.
I pulled the empty ring box from so long ago from my pocket. I turned it over in my hands. It was a pretty, luxurious black box, but, inside it was empty. Nothing but the black velvet. Just an empty box.
Just empty promises.
You know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Empty promises that were so beautiful. A family, marriage, kids…but the promise was empty.
And don't you know
I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
"He lost the love you loved him for." I whispered to the wind. The tree leaves rustled in reply, and I smiled. Sometimes silence was most comforting.
I learned to live
Half alive
And now you want me one more time
I let a tear fall from my eye. How could he just come back like that and expect me to MARRY HIM?
Suddenly, my grief turned to anger. Who does he think he is?
And who do you think you are
Running 'round, leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
He had hurt me in the worst way. He had promised me love, but, underneath the words, nothing laid there. Underneath the velvet, all that lay there was the black cushion.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I remembered that night at the restaurant. I was waiting for three hours in that damn restaurant. He didn't even bother to pick up the phone.
I hear you're asking all around
If I'm anywhere to be found
I am stronger now, I reminded myself. He will hurt me no more.
But I've grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
The moon sadly smiled down upon me, his beam lighting the dew-ridden grass. The cold wind blew again, but softer. It was like he understood.
I learned to live
Half alive
And now you want me one more time
When he left for two months, I didn't even get a phone call. Not even once did he bother to comfort me, to tell me that he loved me.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round, leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
The Ray before was not like this one. This Ray was cold, unloving. I didn't know this Ray.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
This new Ray was dead, the old, loving light in his eyes gone. I don't know what the hell happened to him on that mission, but it changed him forever.
Dear, it took so long
Just to feel alright
Remember how you put
Back the light in my eyes
What happened to the wonderful light that lifted me when I saw him?
I wish I had missed
The first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
He broke all of his promises.
Even of the one that he loved me.
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
He will never hold my love in his hands again. He will never break another heart.
And who do you think you are
Running 'round, leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
I stood up, and walked over a small tree by the bench. It was young. It only had sprouts of leaves beside it. A new tree.
A new love.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all!
I brushed away the fresh, soft dirt surrounding it. I got one my knees and sat the small box in the area I had worked on. I covered up the beautiful, tiny-yet-empty box. In my heart, I covered up the memories of Ray, along with it the pain.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
"Goodbye, Ray." I whispered softly, and I slipped away.