Bakura's first trip to the ice skating rink
"Ryou! Wake up you'd promise you'd take me somewhere special!" Bakura screamed shaking Ryou up.
"Oh no another seizure dream." Ryou groaned.
"No! No seizures! It's Bakura!" Bakura shouted.
"Oh no it's another Bakura nightmare." Ryou groaned.
Bakura threw the blankets off Ryou.
It's only a matter of time…before…"God it's freezing!" Ryou screamed looking for the blankets.
"No! You're awake and you promised me you'd take me somewhere special." Bakura said.
"When did I say that?" Ryou asked stretching.
"Bakura I'm taking you out." Bakura mimicked Ryou.
"And where exactly in that sentence does it say that I "promised" to take you out somewhere "special?" Ryou asked.
"Please! That trip to the restaurant was just so much fun! I want to experience again!" Bakura begged.
"No! You totally embarrassed me! You threw a girl across the room Bakura. I don't think so not till you learn how to behave." Ryou said.
"Look! Look! I can behave watch I made myself breakfast watch me eat it." Bakura said dragging Ryou out of the room by his legs and into the kitchen.
"What the hell is that!" Ryou asked looking at whatever Bakura was eating.
"Pancakes." Bakura said smiling.
"I'm sorry those are not pancakes. It looks like…crap." Ryou said.
Bakura made a sniffing I'm-so-sad-how-can-you-be-so-mean crying.
"I'm being honest with you." Ryou said patting his shoulder.
"You wanna know what happened! The toaster...did a Houdini on me." Bakura said.
"A Houdini! Oh no…please don't tell me…
"The toaster blew up." Bakura said calmly.
"The toaster blew up! I thought you just…like…threw it out! My house how is it not on fire!" Ryou asked shocked and going into the kitchen to see a really big hole in the wall.
"Well…see the hole was much smaller…I saw this little red jar thingy and I poured it on. That's when I started panicking." Bakura said.
"Little red jar? You mean…
"Gas." Bakura said.
Ryou fainted.
"I always told him we needed a nice outside view this is perfect. I can see everything. I can see the birds, I can see Marik dancing in his house like a fucking retard, and I can see that guy just a few doors down picking his nose." Bakura said. He waved and saw the guy stop picking his nose. "I think I scared him." He said.
Ryou awoke from his unconscious state and leaned on the counter. "Ok…show me your manners." He said.
Bakura put the napkin in his shirt and put the knife in his right hand and the fork in his left. "Watch and learn Ryou." He said cutting his pancake gently.
Ryou cocked an eyebrow when the knife wouldn't pierce the pancake.
"Damn pancake! You fucking idiot pancake!" Bakura screamed stabbing it with the fork and eating the pancake with his hands laughing crazily.
"Oh yes Bakura I'm going to take you out looking like that you're out of your mind. If you even have one." Ryou said.
"Shut the…front door Ryou." Bakura said making crunching noises.
"It's not opened." Ryou said.
"It means shut the fuck up you retarded idiot." Bakura said.
"Stupid head!" Ryou screamed.
"Fuck tard!" Bakura shouted.
"Meanie!"
"Asshole!"
"Caca head!"
"Stupid ass ball sucking…um…prostitute bitch fucker!" Bakura yelled.
"Cockroach!" Ryou screamed.
Bakura gasped and started crying hysterically. "Why do you have to be so mean Ryou! That was so hurtful what did I ever do to you all I wanted was to hang out with you because you're my best friend and and and…I wanna go out with you because you're my friend and and and and and I wanna go out with you because you're my best friend and and and and and
"Shut up. You're repeating yourself." Ryou said smacking him.
"And then you smack me!" Bakura cried.
"I'm sorry Bakura. I'll make it up to you by…going to the ice rink." Ryou said.
"What's an ice rink? Are those, those little ice creams that taste like shit when you stick 'em in your mouth and they shock you?" Bakura asked.
"No…what the hell are you talking about there's not an ice cream like that." Ryou said.
"Must have dreamed it then. Those were awesome man! They were like…ahhh ahhh ahh grrr ahh grr hahhhh grrrr." Bakura said.
"You just said they taste like shit." Ryou said.
"I don't know what I say sometimes." Bakura said.
"Well…get ready." Ryou said putting on 30 jackets and a mug full of hot chocolate.
"I'm ready!" Bakura said wearing shorts and a tang top.
Let's make him pay for embarrassing me. "Nice get-up Bakura. Looking…um…gangsters." Ryou said.
"Oh you killed it Ryou." Bakura said sighing and slapping his forehead.
"I could be cool…dude." Ryou said smiling.
"He keeps killing shut up Ryou. No one wants to hear you." Bakura said.
"Word." Ryou said doing some freaky stuff with his hand he thought was "cool."
"Ahhh! What's keeping me alive!" Bakura shouted walking out the door.
On their way to the ice skating rink…
"Yo Yo Yo what's up my hommie snigger skillet fish ghetto…lima beans." Marik said.
"What…the…fuck!" Bakura asked slowly. "I don't know how you haven't gotten jumped yet Marik. Say that really loud on the streets I wanna see you get jumped." He said.
"Shut up that's ghetto. Lima beans." Marik said.
"Oh god. I got two wannabe cool people." Bakura groaned.
"And you think you're cool homie?" Ryou asked.
"Ryou please you're embarrassing me." Bakura whispered.
"No Ryou's got the right idea up top." Marik said.
Ryou went to high five Marik until Bakura grabbed Ryou's hand. "No. Never. Don't ever touch hands with Marik." Bakura said.
"Damn! Why! I was about to get it!" Marik screamed.
"Alright Marik. Up top." Bakura said raising his hand.
Marik raised his hand to touch Bakura's hand. This is it…then…when my germs course threw Bakura's veins he will DIE!
"Who's gay!" Bakura asked lowering his hand leaving Marik's hand up in the air.
"I'm not gay!" Marik screamed.
Bakura coughed hysterically.
"Do you think I'm gay Ryou?" Marik asked making a puppy face.
"Word." Ryou said.
Marik cried as Bakura laughed hysterically.
"Ryou that was hot." Marik cried.
"Cold retard cold!" Bakura screamed.
"No…warm." Ryou said.
"Uhhh!" Bakura groaned. "Let's just go to the ice skating rink. Please!" He begged.
"See ya Marik. I'm taking my homie here to the gangsterific ice-skating rink. Hoe." Ryou said smiling innocently.
"Somebody shoot me!" Bakura cried walking away from Ryou.
"You can come too. Don't come with us make it a surprise." Ryou whispered to Marik.
At the ice skating rink…
"Wow!" Bakura said like a little kid who just got introduced to his first Nintendo console…ah, I remember that day…it all started with Mario and the booger.
"You're getting off topic lady." Bakura said.
Sorry.
"Ryou this is sooo cool I can see this…this…little airish thingy coming out from my mouth." Bakura said trying to grab it. "Wait! Does that happen to you! What if it only happens to me…because…I'm…I'm…a spirit!" He said.
"Bakura everyone does it. You're not special-er than anyone else." Ryou said.
"Yea I am! Look I can stab myself and I won't die." Bakura said grabbing his knife.
"Hahahaa! That's nice Bakura not here though." Ryou said laughing nervously and taking the knife away from him and hiding it.
"No give it back!" Bakura said trying to get it back from Ryou's pocket.
"Ew. You guys are gay." Someone said.
"No he took my knife and if you say something like that again when I get a hold of my knife it will be your head!" Bakura screamed.
"Oh god Bakura please." Ryou said turning red from embarrassment.
"Where do we do…whatever we're supposed to do here?" Bakura asked impatiently.
"Come let's get our skates." Ryou said.
Bakura looked around and saw the ice. He snickered and walked away from Ryou and to the ice where he slipped and slid all over the floor. "This...is…so cool!" He said sliding on his butt.
"Get off the ice!" Someone yelled at him running over his fingers.
"Ow! Get your ass over here!" Bakura screamed running and slipping for the guy.
"Ha Ha you can't catch me!" The guy teased. He crashed into a wall and got tackled by Bakura.
"Bakura…I got your skates." Ryou shouted. He saw Bakura sliding on the floor in the ice skating rink and walked to the edge of the rink. "Bakura come here now." He ordered.
"Make me!" Bakura screamed.
"Bakura! Here! Now!" Ryou shouted demandingly.
"Never!" Bakura screamed laughing evilly.
Ryou took at step on the ice and slipped holding onto the wall. "The ice skating rink…I couldn't have said the bookstore or something less difficult? Ice skating rink I have to lay off the cream puffs for a while." He said wobbling and sliding towards Bakura.
"Ryou you made it. Isn't this fun! It's really cold but I like it!" Bakura said smiling and sliding again.
"No come back! You have to put your skates on!" Ryou said slipping and crawling on all fours towards Bakura. "Let's go I have to put your skates on." He said grabbing Bakura's tang top strap and pulling him.
"Oh…my…ra! No! No! No-o-o-o-o-o-o-! What's Marik doing here!" Bakura asked dropping Ryou on top of him.
Ryou blushed and got up. "I have no…idea. What a coincidence." He said pretending to be surprised.
"Well whatever he doesn't know we're here anyway put on my skates I'm ready to…slid." Bakura said pushing Ryou out onto a bench.
Ryou sat Bakura on a bench and put on his skates. "I'll give you 30 bucks if you don't embarrass me." He said.
"Are you bribing me?" Bakura asked smirking.
"Please." Ryou said.
"Alright see you on the ice." Bakura said squatting down and sliding on his ass again. "Wheeee!" He screamed.
"Everyone clear the ice we are going to clean it." The intercom said throughout the rink.
"No. Why! I'm not getting off." Bakura said folding his arms.
"Boy with the freaky white hair get off the fucking ice!" The intercom yelled.
"Bite me bitch!" Bakura screamed laughing evilly and sliding.
"Oh my god Bakura get over here!" Ryou screamed.
"No never!" Bakura screamed.
Ryou slipped and slid all over the ice and crawled towards Bakura bringing him back to the concrete.
A big truck came out cleaning the ice making Bakura growl angrily.
"This is so unfair! He gets to have fun and we have to sit here like idiots waiting till he's done having fun! I don't support this! To hell with you truck!" Bakura screamed laughing evilly and sending the truck to the shadow realm.
"Steve…Steve are you there? Where did the truck go?" The intercom asked.
Everyone mumbled and shrugged.
"Steve! You just vanished oh! Steve you never paid me back my 100 dollars you bitch! I'm glad you're gone! Good job whoever did it." The intercom dude yelled. "You may continue skating."
A little girl got in front of Bakura to get out on the skate and he grabbed her dress. "Beat it girl was here first and I'm skating. I'm much older than you and I'm much scarier don't mess with me." Bakura said threateningly.
"Mommy!" The little girl cried.
"Yea run bitch!" Bakura yelled after her. He slid on the ice and fell on his face. "Ooh…my face is cold. I wonder…" He stuck out his tongue and licked the ice.
"Bakura. Oh my god no! He…licked the ice how did I know this would happen!" Ryou cried.
"Um…Ryou…somebody my tongue…is stuck on the ice. Someone help me! Ah! Ow! It's really cold! Someone help me! Mommy! Mommy! Someone! Help! My tongue!" Bakura screamed waving his arms. He grunted and stretched his tongue. "Son of a bitch!" He screamed when he detached his tongue from the ice and saw a piece of his skin freezing on the ice.
He felt someone slap his ass and rubbed it.
"I did not do that." Marik said smiling at him.
"Gayass." Bakura told him.
"You're my friend homie. I can do whatever I want to you." Marik said skating around him.
"Well leave me alone I just lost a piece of my tongue." Bakura sniffed.
"Aww the poor baby." Marik said patting Bakura.
"Alright get ready for darkness…
"YES!" Bakura screamed.
"...We're turning off all the lights and you'll skate with the nice little colored lights we'll provide." The intercom dude said.
"Color lights!" Marik said.
"I know gay like you." Bakura said.
The lights shut off and everyone got quiet.
"Heart of the cards!" Yugi yelled
"Hell fuck no Yugi's here too!" Bakura screamed.
Marik moaned and started saying peoples names he knew. "Oh Ryou. OOOOhYes Bakura. Yugi you're gay."
"Ew." Everyone said.
"That was Marik!" Bakura said selling him out.
"Bakura! Oh my ra! I can't believe you!" Marik screamed.
The little colored lights came on and Bakura tried to get in all of the ones that popped out.
"Green light." Marik said.
Everyone walked.
"Red light." Marik said.
Everyone stopped walking.
"Yellow light." Marik said giggling.
Everyone walked slowly.
"Red. Green! Green! Oh! Yellow! Baby Red! And then you go Green red purple black orange!" Marik sang dancing around.
Bakura smacked him.
"Green! I want the green light!" Bakura yelled.
A red light came out and he gasped.
"Red I want red!" He screamed pushing a fat lady out of the red light and dancing in the red light.
"Black definitely got to get in there." Bakura said skating towards it.
Marik got in the black light and was knocked down by Bakura.
This went on for a couple of hours and stopped when half the people in the ice rink were beaten up.
"Alright now the rink is yours specify a song and you may dance…whoo." The intercom guy said dully.
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I can dance oh I know a perfect song." Bakura said. "Hey intercom guy!" He screamed loudly in the speaker.
"What?" The intercom dude said almost deafening Bakura.
"Play this song." Bakura said waving a sign.
"Ok…?" The intercom said.
"Everyone off the ice! Now! I'm dancing I need…Marik, Ryou get your ass on the ice and you two hoes." Bakura said.
Ryou slipped on the ice and made his way to Bakura.
"I'm the leader you guys follow." Bakura said.
"Ladies and gentlemen." Bakura started.
"Whooo wee!" Marik screamed.
"This is a Jazzie Phiizzle" Bakura sang.
"Produizzle." Marik said giggling.
"Bakura." Ryou said.
"The King is here!" Bakura screamed.
The two hoes he picked started dancing in the background with Marik and Ryou just slipped around everywhere.
"This beat is…automatic, supersonic, hypnotic…funky fresh.
Work my body so melodic.
This beat flows right through my chest
Everybody ma and poppy came to party
Grab somebody
Work your body, work your body
Let me see you 1,2 step " Bakura sang.
"Rock it don't stop it everybody get on the floor
Wake the party up
We about to get it on." Everyone on the ice rink…BUT Ryou…sang.
"Let me see you 1, 2 step
I love it when you 1, 2 step
Everybody…except Ryou 1, 2 step
We about to get it on." Bakura sang 1, 2 stepping with everyone on the ice.
"Whoooo wheeeeeee!" Marik screeched.
"Don't matter to me
We can dance slow
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing it over here, Mr. DJ
And we will...we will rock you up
It don't matter to me
We can dance slow
Whichever way the beats drop
Our bodies will go
So swing over here, Mr. DJ
And we will, we will rock you" He continued as Marik said "Ooooo weeee!"
"I shake it like jello
And make the boys say hello
Cause they know I'm rocking' the beat
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's
But they aint got nothing on me
Because I'm 5 foot 2
I wanna dance with you
And I'm sophisticated fun
I eat filet mignon
And I'm nice and young
Best believe I'm number one" Marik sang.
"Let me see you 1, 2 step…I love—
"I want to dance now!" Yugi screamed. "Today's my birthday and you dance 1, 2 steps too much! It's my turn! Go away get off the ice!" he continued.
"Dude…he messed up the song." Bakura said to Marik watching Ryou screaming his head off sliding on the ice.
"Alright little Yugi. What song will you sing?" Bakura asked.
"Why the very best. Hit it intercom dude!" Yugi said. He pulled out his Yami out from nowhere and choreographed ice dancers.
"Your move! It's time to duel and there's no backing down! The heart of the cards is where magic is fo-o-o-o-und!" Yugi sang
Bakura coughed madly when he said heart of the cards.
"We played this game before but never quite this way! It's like an all out war with monsters that obe-e-e-ey!" Yami Yugi sang horribly deeply like a sissy lady and chipping the ice.
"Yu-gi-oh!
He is the king of games!
Yu-gi-oh!
King Of games!" Yugi and his Yami sang horribly.
Marik imitated the guitar and instrumental breaks.
"Marik…you traitor. I thought we had something." Bakura sniffed.
"Well…we did. But then I remembered what a bitch to me you were and decided to take Yugi's side. He wears leather." Marik said.
"Bitch you must die!" Bakura shouted pointing a finger at him.
"When I'm done with my guitar solo." Marik said.
"Sure ok." Bakura said calmly.
"Your move! No the…blah blah blah traps have been set…upper hand…cheese butter." Yugi sang.
"Egyptian secrets are revived
Ancient Powers have survived
With all the rates all black and white
Friends will help to win the fight…"
"FRIENDS!" Tea screamed.
"Solve the puzzle's mystery
Unlock the hero's destiny
Now alter egos now one knows
Side by side they fight their foes" Yugi sang.
"He-e-e-e-e-e-ey! It's time to duel!" Yami Yugi boomed.
Marik did his guitar solo while Yugi and Yami Yug discussed they missed two whole verses due to Marik's stupidity and love for imitating the guitar.
"Your move!"
"Yu-gay-hoe.
He's the king of hoes.
Yu-gay-hoe.
King of hoe-e-e-es!" Bakura sang.
"Hey…that's pretty good that actually made sense." Yugi said.
"Well…you're gay so you should feel that way." Bakura said watching Ryou still screaming on the floor.
"And now…we shall sing Yugi a happy Birthday." The intercom guy said.
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Yugi happy birthday…to…you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u!" The guy sang.
"We want you dead and your fucking Yami in hell." Bakura sang.
Pegasus jumped out of his cake.
"Hey…I stole your eye." Bakura said.
"Hey it's Pegasus!" Yugi said.
Bakura slammed Yugi's head in the cake and pushed all his little geeky friends off the ice. "I wanna skate bitch!" He yelled. He looked at the ice ignoring Ryou's screaming for help and knocked on it. "What will happen if I punch it?" He asked himself. He punched the ice really hard and broke it.
"Talk about breaking the ice." Yugi said.
Marik laughed hysterically at what Yugi said. "Oh my ra that means like breaking a leg right?" He asked.
"No. Idiot. Dude what is wrong with you! You're like…so slow! It's no wonder your Yami hated you goddamn! You're like…..soooooo slow! Idiot!" Yugi said.
"It's over Yugi." Marik said walking away.
Bakura swam in the water and pulled Ryou out. "Oh my ra Ryou! Something's got me!" Bakura screamed when he was sitting on the ledge soaking his feet in the water.
"G-g-g-get o-o-out of the w-water then." Ryou shivered.
He lifted his feet and saw two ice blocks. "It's eating me like a mutate alien sucking out your brain!" Bakura screamed trying to shake it off. He tried walking and slipped.
"Hey…I got my very own mobile ice rink here. Fuck taking it off this is so gangsters!" Bakura said sliding everywhere.
Ryou walked stiffly to the exit with his Yami behind him sliding everywhere leaving the broken ice, the complaining people, 1, 2 step, Yu-gay-hoe, Yugi's birthday, Pegasus miraculously jumping out of Yugi's cake, and Bakura sending the truck to the shadow realm behind him.
"That was so-o-o-o-o-o cool Ryou we have to do it again." Bakura said hyperly.
"No. Never again. It's over between you and me I need…a break." Ryou said shutting the door to his room.
"Fine bitch. And to think…I was gonna…um…gonna…I wasn't gonna do anything but I'll think of something later." Bakura said skating all around the house breaking everything.
Wheee it's over! R&R. Lol Yu-gay-hoe. I'm so stupid.