A/N: This story was written for a fanfiction challenge so if any sentences might not quite fit in with the usual flow...it might just be that. Those of you who know my other stories might find this one a little heavier than what I usually write...but the topic just popped into my head and I just get to get this story out there. So I hope you still enjoy your read...and keep a couple tissues around just in case ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters nor am I making any money of this...they are all property of McLeod's Daughters and Channel 9 and I only borrowed them to write this story.
Summary: Can Claire and Alex's marriage survive the seven-year itch? Or will it all be over...
Seven-Year Itch
Alex ran his fingers through his hair, took a deep breath and looked out the window of the small plane that was just lifting off in Adelaide, trying once again to calm himself down…
His mind hadn't stopped racing ever since he had gotten Tess's phone call only a few hours ago.
"There's been an accident. David's in hospital…you need to come home…it's not looking good…" was all she had said. And here he was…on the way home…for the first time in almost six months…
And he couldn't help but wonder when his life had started getting so out of control that he had to hear from his sister-in-law that his own son was in hospital. When he had left half a year ago? No…it had been way before that…if he really thought about it…it had probably started 7 years ago…the day he had lied about Charlotte being his daughter. Yes…that had been the beginning of the end…
Alex sighed and closed his eyes. He still had 2 hours till the small plane would hit the air strip in Fisher…maybe he should try and take a little nap…he didn't think he would get much sleep once he'd reach the hospital…not with his son in ICU…and his wife by the little boy's side…the wife he had left 6 months ago without even saying goodbye…
While he tried to fall asleep in the shaky little plane, Alex couldn't help but think back to that day 7 years ago that had changed his life so dramatically…
Claire had fallen off Brave J during the Cross Country Race of the Stockman's Challenge and had hurt herself badly, losing a lot of blood. And while the ambulance officers had taken care of her, Tess had had to tell them that Claire was pregnant.
As much as that had been shocking for him to hear…he had still claimed the baby as his even though he knew it couldn't be when Claire had looked at him with pleading eyes. He had known right away it had only been to keep Peter off her back even though he hadn't known the whole story back then. But this was his best mate there on the stretcher, begging him to say something with her eyes when she told her ex-lover that the baby she was carrying wasn't his…what else should Alex have done?
In the aftermath of the accident things had gotten a little crazy around the community with people talking and speculating about the two of them. And because he knew how much Claire hated that, Alex had started thinking about ways to shut everybody up without telling the truth.
At first he hadn't been very successful with that…until the day Claire had been released from hospital after being stuck in there for almost 3 months. She had gotten herself into trouble yet again by riding when she wasn't supposed to and it had been up to Alex to save her…which he only managed to do by crashing his chopper…which then got both of them right back to the hospital they had only left a few hours before…
Seeing her almost being trampled down by a herd of cattle had let the feelings he had tried to keep in check all those past months come right up to the surface again…and even stronger than they had been before…he loved Claire…plain and simple…with all his heart…and he wanted to do everything to make sure she and her baby were alright. And there was only one way he could do that…
So…back on Drovers later that evening he had taken all his courage together and had asked her to marry him. At first he had thought she would say no…that's why he had to ask her for her answer again when she had actually told him that she'd really like that because he just couldn't believe she had really said yes.
Of course he hadn't told her about the real reason he had asked her to be his wife…he had kept it all down to business and how that would solve everything. Because he simply didn't want to risk putting his heart out there and having it ripped wide open…back then he had thought his love for her would be enough for both of them…but today he knew that he had been wrong…
The wedding was a quick affair only 4 weeks after he had proposed…under the circumstances nobody wanted to have a huge thing…and it wouldn't have been Claire anyway…so they had a simple ceremony followed by a small party on Drovers with their closest friends and family.
The wedding night had been awkward for both of them. While they had both decided to wait with any sexual relationship till they were married, Claire had told Alex that now that they were they should just go ahead and get it over with. "It's what married people do, right?" she had told him. Alex had told her he could wait because he really didn't want to pressure her…but Claire had told him again that it would be fine and that they'd have to do it sooner or later anyway.
As much as it had been strange to take his clothes off in front of Claire that first time…once she touched him it was like a switch had been flipped over and all Alex had been able to do was go for it…he had wanted this for too long to stop it once it had started…
The first two years of their marriage really hadn't been all that bad. Once they had arranged themselves and were a little more comfortable with each other, things really seemed to improve. And the sex had always been so much better than anything Alex had ever experienced before…and that had been a lot over the years…
The day his little princess was born had been one of the happiest in his life…to Alex it really had never mattered that Charlotte was not his own flesh and blood…she was his daughter and nobody could ever convince him otherwise.
It had not been half a year after Charlotte was born that Claire had told him she was pregnant again…they hadn't planned it but they had both wanted more kids so it didn't really matter that it had happened sooner than they had thought.
Back then things had still been great. With the birth of little Jack nine months later Alex had fallen in love even more with his wife…and even Claire had seemed happier with him…after she had stopped shouting at him for putting her through labour again…
They were a real family, the four of them…Charlotte was their sunshine, always happy and smiling…Jack was the little devil, always getting himself into trouble...Claire and his marriage felt real to Alex because even though he had never told her how he felt there was still a closeness between them, that Alex had never had with anybody else before. They talked about everything…and they both knew they could tell each other anything.
Of course they still fought with each other from time to time…sometimes it seemed to Alex like nothing had changed to the way they were before they got married… they were still chasing each other round the stables with brooms…fought over the smallest things…tried to top one another at every possibility…nothing had changed…they had just added the sexual part of their relationship.
It was after the birth of their third child…David… 2 ½ years after Jack that things had changed between him and Claire…or rather…nothing changed…which was even worse.
Alex had thought that maybe now Claire would finally feel for him what he felt for her…but everything stayed the same. They lived with each other, shared a bed, had three kids together…and yet they were not a couple in the way most couples were.
By the time they started the seventh year of their marriage, Alex had realised that nothing would ever change in their relationship…that Claire would never feel the same way about him…after all having been married for 6 bloody years now and still being nothing more than best friends with benefits.
While that made Alex sadder and more depressed every day…he still tried to keep up the façade for the kids' sake…they were the innocents in this whole mess…it wasn't their fault that Alex had married for love…but Claire hadn't.
It wasn't until Claire made a decision regarding a field trip of Charlotte's school without even considering telling Alex about it that something inside him just snapped…it wasn't the first time she had done this…and it certainly wouldn't be the last time…and he couldn't go on like this anymore. He needed to get away if he wanted any chance to stay sane. Claire didn't love him…she didn't even include him in decisions regarding their children…he had always only been a player at the sidelines…and no matter how much he loved her…nothing would ever change that…
And…he went away. Without telling Claire. He just got up and left. Packed a few things and went to visit his father in Melbourne…his biological father, that he had last seen when Charlotte was a baby of four months. But since Harry had died and nobody had even the slightest idea where Liz had gone after her divorce from Harry, Bryce was his only relative apart from Nick…and Nick was too close to the whole thing…being married to Tess and all…
So Alex had gone to Melbourne. Once there, he had called Nick to tell him where he was and why he had gone away…but had also told his brother that he would not be coming back no matter what his brother said.
It had hurt him to leave his kids behind…they were after all the reason it had taken him so long to leave in the end…but he knew that while they would miss him they were better off on Drovers Run than they were in the city with an unemployed father who wasn't even sure what he wanted there…
Bryce had taken him in and since then made him do all the dirty little jobs for him that he didn't want to do himself. Alex didn't like it very much…but at least he had a nice flat and didn't have to starve. He talked to his kids on the phone once a week and just last month Nick and Tess had brought them down to Melbourne for a couple days to see him. It wasn't a good life…but it was bearable.
Or at least it had been till he had gotten the divorce papers from Claire last week. Since then Alex had only been a mere shadow of himself…even Bryce had noticed although he usually didn't show much interest in what Alex was doing as long as his jobs got done.
And then today Tess had called.
"There's been an accident. David's in hospital…you need to come home…it's not looking good…"
That's what she had said. Alex had no idea what had happened and what exactly was wrong with David…but if Tess told him to come home…it had to be bad.
Alex took another deep sigh and opened his eyes as he felt somebody touching his shoulder.
"Sir…you need to fasten your seatbelt. We'll be landing in Fisher shortly…" the flight attendant told him and he nodded. Soon he'd know how bad things really were…and soon he'd have to see Claire again…
Alex was the first passenger that left the small plane, trying to find a way to get to the hospital as fast as possible. He lucked out catching one of the few taxis at the small airport and was at the clinic only half an hour after the plane had landed.
The receptionist at the entrance had told him that David was on the ICU and that he had to check with the nurses there if it was a good time to visit the boy or not.
As Alex had heard the word ICU his heart had nearly stopped…his little boy was in intensive care…that meant it really had to be bad…
Finding the ICU was not really a problem for Alex…Harry had been there a couple times with his heart before it had completely given up on him only a few weeks after David had been born…and now that tiny little baby that hadn't been old enough to understand what happened back then was in the same spot his grandfather had died in…
Alex rang the bell at the entrance of the ICU and waited for somebody to come and tell him what was going on and if he could see his son. But when seconds turned into minutes and still nobody had come, Alex simply opened the large door and let himself in. He knew the ward…he had been there before…he would find David.
Just as the door closed behind him again and he started looking for one of those overcoats to cover his clothing, Alex heard a voice behind him.
"What do you thing you're doing here, sir?"
Alex sighed and swallowed. He knew he'd been caught…and he wasn't sure that was a good thing. So he closed his eyes, trying to focus on what he wanted to say and blocking out his worries before he turned around and looked at the nurse that had come up to him.
"I'm here looking for my son and nobody was answering the door…" he told her in as calm a voice as he could and flashed her one of his smiles…a little more crooked than they usually turned out though.
Unfortunately the nurse only raised her eyebrow before she said "Look…that's a very nice smile and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want…but it's not working on me…so what do you want here?"
Alex's smile faded and he took another deep breath before he repeated "I'm here to see my son. My name is Alex Ryan and I was told my son David McLeod-Ryan is on this ward so I'm here to see him…"
The nurse was just about to respond to him again…and he was sure it would have been in a friendly way…when Alex noticed somebody walking up to them.
"It's alright Melanie…he is David's father and I called him this morning and asked him to come…" Tess said in a calm voice and turned to Alex after the nurse had waked off with a nod and a warning to wait for somebody the next time.
"Hi Alex…" she said and gave him a sad smile "It's good to see you again…"
Alex took a step closer to his sister-in-law and gave her a hug welcome. "Hi Tess…" he said as he let go of her "How bad is it?"
She sighed and shrugged "We don't really know…he's been unconscious for almost a day now…"
Alex had to swallow before he went on "What happened?"
"I'm not really sure…" Tess told him as she gently shoved him towards the room where David was. "Charlotte said something about a jump contest and David hitting his head in the process…all we know is that all three of them were supposed to be asleep until Claire heard a loud thump from upstairs followed by a frantic Charlotte running down the stairs telling her that David didn't want to wake up anymore…his left arm's broken and he has a huge laceration on his forehead and hasn't really woken up since Claire brought him here last night…"
Alex had listened silently to Tess giving him a run down of what had happened. When she was done he wanted to know if anything in the head was broken and was relieved to hear that that was not the case nor was there any bleeding…the only problem really was that the boy had not woken up yet.
They entered the small room and Alex took in the surroundings…there were monitors and cables everywhere, most of them somewhere near his son. David was lying in a small bed, Claire was by his side, holding his hand.
The sight of his wife holding his little son's good hand melted Alex's heart and he had to swallow hard to not start crying…the boy seemed so small and with the bandage on his head and plaster on his arm seemed just as pale as the sheets of his bed…and Claire's facial colour matched as well.
"What is he doing here?" she asked without even having looked up. She had probably heard him talking with the nurse just like Tess had.
"I'm here to see my son…" Alex said matter-of-factly and came closer to the boy's bed "Why didn't you call me, Claire?"
"When should I have called you Alex?" she replied with a cold voice, still not looking at him. "Before I called Nick to come over with the chopper?"
Alex took a deep breath, trying to stay calm "No…but maybe once you knew what was wrong with him…this is not about you and me here Claire…this is about David!" He looked at her willing her to look at him "And besides…how did this happen anyway? Were you too busy controlling everything again to look after the kids?"
"Alex!" he heard Tess's warning but he didn't react.
"I knew I should have just taken them with me…you're just too caught up with yourself to look after them properly…" Alex knew that he was only letting out his frustration on her and that he didn't really mean what he said…but he still couldn't stop himself. But what got to him was that Claire didn't even react to what he had said.
"Hey…are you listening to me at all? I'm talking to you…" he asked her then and grabbed her hand that was holding their son's hand.
Alex looked at her and finally her head turned towards him ever so slowly…but what he saw in her eyes made him shiver…and he almost started freezing as Claire started to speak to him directly for the first time ever since he had walked into the room.
"Aside from the fact that your mere existence is making my life a living hell… I'm really not concerned about you…" she said with an icy voice "My son…the same son you left without even blinking six months ago by the way…is my only concern at the moment…"
With that she turned her gaze at the young boy again and Alex opened his mouth to shoot a reply at her…but was interrupted by his sister-in-law.
"Okay…that's enough!" she said with a stern voice and put her hand on Claire's shoulders. "This is not a discussion you want to have in front of David, I'm sure…"
Alex closed his eyes and nodded just as Claire said "You're right about that…"
"Good…" Tess said satisfied "At least something we agree on. But…since I know you two won't be able to stop that and have a civilised talk even for your son's sake, I'm throwing you out of here…"
Alex's eyes grew wide and Claire gasped before she looked up and asked "What?"
Tess nodded "You heard me right…out of here…both of you. David doesn't need this and I sure don't need it either…" she said and started pushing Claire "You haven't been out of this room since they wheeled him in here last night anyway…" she told her and turned to Alex "Take your wife for some fresh air…" she said to him "And don't come back till you two can be civil around each other…"
Alex sighed again but knew Tess wouldn't let it go even if he started begging. So he simply nodded and said "Come on Claire…Tess is right…we need to talk…"
Reluctantly Claire finally got up from the chair she'd been sitting on and followed Alex outside with one last look at their son, a tear escaping her eyes. It nearly broke his heart seeing her like this and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to simply take her in his arms and tell her everything would be alright…but he knew that wouldn't go over well so he simply kept walking beside her till they had reached the small park behind the hospital.
About fifteen minutes later they had taken a full round in the park and were back at the entrance to the hospital and still hadn't spoken a word…but since they knew that Tess would send them right out again if they couldn't treat each other half way normal they just kept on walking another round.
It was Claire that finally broke the silence by stopping and telling Alex that she was sorry she hadn't called him about David.
Alex only nodded and in silent understanding they sat down on a nearby bench from where they could look out over the park towards the hospital building.
"I know you didn't really have time to call me Claire…I was just so worried about David…" he sighed and looked at her "I'm sorry I implied that it was your fault this happened…I know it wasn't…" Alex admitted and was glad to see Claire give him a small smile to let him know she accepted his apology.
Then there was silence again…Alex didn't know for how long…until Claire said "Tess told me you're in Melbourne with Bryce…how is that working out?"
Alex only nodded to that, not really sure if Claire only wanted to make small talk or if she was really interested in his life there. So he simply shrugged and said "I get by…"
"Doesn't sound very enthusiastic…" Claire replied and Alex could feel her look on him.
He shrugged again and looked at Claire with narrowed eyes, still not sure what she wanted from him and didn't really want to talk about his life with Bryce…it always made him angry because of all the things he had to do for him "What do you want me to say?" he therefore asked with anger in his voice before it all broke out of him "That I'm miserable there? I am! That I hate living in the city? I do! That I shouldn't have left? Well…I shouldn't have…" Alex swallowed and closed his eyes before he quietly added "But it's too late now…" not even sure Claire had heard it.
"Why did you do it then?" Claire asked after a little pause and Alex had to gather his thoughts together again to even realise she had talked to him.
"What?"
Claire looked at him directly now "Why did you leave if you hate it so much?" she wanted to know and he could tell now by the look in her eyes that she really meant it and did want to hear why he had left. "I thought we were doing alright and then you just up and left me…"
Now Alex looked her directly in the eyes and asked "Were we really doing okay, Claire?"
"What do you mean?" She looked at him confused "I don't understand…"
Alex sighed…he had known that Claire had never seen things the way he had…to her everything must have looked fine…but not to him…and that's what he told her. For the first time ever since they had gotten married 7 years ago he told her how he felt. Not that he loved her…that would have been too much…but how he had always felt like being on the sidelines of their life…only there when she needed him but forgotten as soon as she could do things on her own.
He ended his talk by telling her "I don't really know why you even agreed to marry me…" He looked her deep in the eyes "Was it just to make the gossip stop? To get Peter off your neck? Why? I don't get it…" He sighed and looked out over the park again before he added almost in a whisper "If you just wanted somebody to warm your bed at night you should have just gone through with marrying him…"
There was a short moment of silence in which Alex thought she wouldn't answer him…and he was just about to get up and walk away when he finally heard her whisper "But I didn't want him…I wanted you…"
Alex still didn't quite understand though what she was trying to tell him "But why Claire?" he asked her "Why did you want me?"
"Because I love you…" was her barely audible answer "I didn't love him…but I loved you…"
Alex thought he hadn't heard correctly but when he looked at her and saw the tears streaming down her face he knew that he had heard right…she had told him she had married him because she had loved him.
"Why didn't you tell me, Claire?" he asked softly and gently placed his hand over hers that was resting on the bench hoping she wouldn't pull her hand away…thankfully she didn't.
It took another moment before she answered and when she did it was still only a whisper "I didn't want to pressure you…" she said and Alex could hear the sadness in her voice "I thought if I told you I'd just scare you away and I didn't want to lose you…"
Now Alex felt tears burning in his eyes as well. All he managed to say in that moment was "But I loved you, too…" before he felt two salty drops escape his eyes and he was overcome by a sadness he had never felt before in his life…they had wasted so much time…
They sat there on the park bench holding hands in silence for what seemed like ages, crying together silently. It seemed like the world around them had stopped for a few minutes to let them both process what they had just revealed to each other.
It was Alex that finally found his voice again asking "What do we do now?"
Claire sighed deeply, wiping her cheeks with the hand Alex was not holding "I don't know…" she replied honestly "I really don't know…"
There was another short moment of silence before Alex felt Claire sit up a little straighter beside him. "Do you still feel that way about me?" she wanted to know and he could tell she was holding her breath waiting for his answer.
But he wasn't quite ready to answer yet…you could call him a coward but he needed to know how she felt first. So he asked her back "Do you?" and looked at her.
Slowly Claire turned her head towards him. He felt her seeking his eyes and once she had found them she held his gaze and said with a stern voice "Yes…yes I do…"
Alex felt his heart jump and he couldn't help the smile that formed on his face as he told Claire that he still felt that way about her too. They held each other's gaze for a long time and to Alex it felt like he could really see all the way to Claire's soul for the first time ever in his life while he was practically drowning in the blue seas that were her eyes.
It was Claire that broke that contact by moving closer to him and leaning her head against Alex's shoulder with a sigh. "We are a bunch of big idiots, aren't we?" she quietly asked him and he could only nod. They sure were.
"Guess I don't need to sign those divorce papers then…" Alex said with a smile and felt Claire shake her head against his shoulder before she said "No…you only need to sign them if you want to…"
Alex's smile grew bigger "Well…I don't…"
Claire sighed again "Good…" she said quietly before she sat up again and asked "Want to go back to our son now?"
Alex only nodded and got up, holding his hand out to Claire to help her up. He knew she would have normally brushed it away…but this was different…they had come to a new understanding in their relationship.
And Claire gladly took Alex's hand and let him pull her up and walk her back to the entrance of the clinic, all the while keeping hold of her hand, squeezing it gently every now and then.
Just as they were about to enter the hospital again, Nick came running towards them, telling them to hurry because David had woken up and was asking for them…Alex had never felt so relieved in his life…his son was awake and asking for him and Claire was right beside him and everything would be alright between them.
They made their way up to the ICU but just before they walked into their son's room, Alex stopped Claire and turned her to him, looking deep into her eyes.
"I love you…" he told her softly and felt his heart jump again as she smiled and replied softly "I love you, too…"
He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips and she kissed him back just as gently…everything would be alright…they both knew it. They had wasted a lot of time but finally knew what they both felt…and they knew that their love for each other could survive everything…ever the bloody seven-year itch…
The End
Well...what did you think? Now that you know that I made it all better ;) ... Leave me a comment and let me know...
