Author's Note: Many thanks to Aria (crazysockmonkeys) for writing "242," which was a very ingenious Wings and Frasier crossover. Because both Peri Gilpin and Kelsey Grammer have been on Wings, opportunities for crossover are rather obvious. After Aria had Roz recount her experience on the island, I felt it only right that Frasier do the same. So, here's what I came up with. I hope I've done justice to both shows, as well as Aria's amazing work. :)
Roz was prepared to walk out of the cafe, not even caring that she'd interrupted Frasier's lecture. Sure, it would have been dull and boring, as all of his anecdotes were. But the poor guy was just sitting there, sighing to himself, looking down at his cup of coffee. With an irritated sigh, Roz turned back around and sat down.
"So you and Lilith went to Nantucket, huh?" She asked the question pointedly, hoping to prevent him from going off again.
"Yes, Roz. As I just told you a moment ago. I went there to do a seminar for people with low self-esteem."
Roz rolled her eyes. "Was your brother there?"
"No, Roz, he was not. He was here in Seattle, with Maris." Frasier was growing impatient.
"All right, all right. I guess you didn't have a good time there. Bet it wasn't half as bad as my experience."
"Oh, no? Were you attacked by a small, blonde waitress in the middle of an airport terminal?"
"Whoa, what'd you do to deserve that?!"
"Apparently, this woman, Helen, came to one of my seminars in New York, and she claimed I ruined her life. She basically called me a charlatan in front of my entire therapy group!"
Roz's eyes widened in disbelief. She vaguely recalled seeing a woman who fit the description Frasier gave when she'd visited the island. They'd never met, but suddenly, Roz thought she would've liked this woman.
"Would you stop looking at me that way? It was supposed to be a vacation, but the whole thing was a disaster. I'd rather not relive it. I know you were going to leave anyway, so why don't you just go?"
"Thanks a lot, Frasier. Don't you find it the least bit weird that were both in the same city, three thousand miles away from here, in the same year?"
"Not really," Frasier replied, shrugging. "I'm sure people visit Nantucket all the time. God knows that terminal was full that day!"
Roz reached out to cover Frasier's hand with her own. "Maybe it'd make you feel better to talk about it. I'm listening," she said with a grin.
Frasier sighed. "All right, if you must know, I invited Helen to join my seminar – at Lilith's insistence – and she completely derailed my Crane Train to Mental Well-being!"
"The Crane Train to Mental Well-being?" Roz asked. "What the hell was that?!"
"It was the title of my seminar. I'd hoped to sell it as a home video. Instead of helping my troubled patients, I wound up delving into Helen's sordid personal life. Apparently, no one who works in that airport ever thinks of getting involved with someone from outside it. And if you thought Helen was bad, then the two pilots showed up. They were brothers, and they were at each other's throats!" Frasier shook his head in disbelief at the memory.
"Two brothers, huh?" Roz asked. "Imagine that."
"Yes, yes, I know. Very funny. It probably didn't help matters that Niles and I weren't exactly speaking at the time. I tell you, between them, and Lilith's incessant nagging, I couldn't wait to get off that damn island! The moment we landed at Logan Airport, Lilith and I took separate cabs. She went home to check on Frederick, and I went straight to Cheers. I had Sam Malone pour me the biggest beer he could."
"You know, I've never really been able to picture you in a bar, Frasier. What did you do there, anyway?"
"I drank, Roz. Look, when I was in Boston, I was a totally different person. It doesn't matter. The point is, I left Boston and came here. I made a new start, but I did it without creating some ridiculous secret identity!" He glared at his producer.
Roz held her hands up in mock surrender. "OK, OK, Frasier. I get it. Like you said, it was a long time ago. But don't you feel better, now that you've told me that story?"
Frasier thought for a moment. His time in Boston already seemed like a lifetime ago. If it weren't for Frederick, he might easily convince himself it had never happened. His strange trip to the island of Nantucket was something he hadn't even thought about in years. Looking back now, the way he and Lilith had argued that weekend, their marriage had been doomed even then. Sure, the divorce had hurt him. But had also been a blessing. It had allowed him to make a fresh start and come here, back to his roots and his family. And now, here he was, talking to Roz. He smiled at her. "Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you." He stood to leave the cafe, but not before kissing his producer's cheek.
Five years ago, when he'd moved here from Boston, Frasier had no idea what was in store for him. He thought of Roz and Daphne, two people he never would've met had he not come here. They could each infuriate him from time to time. But Frasier Crane's life wasn't really all that bad. In fact, right now, it seemed pretty good. He walked out of the cafe, and was amazed to see the sun actually peeking out behind the clouds. Even mother nature was agreeing with him.
The End