An Angell's Gift
Legal stuff: all characters shanghaied from CSI New York when they least expected it except for Guinevere Jones who is all mine (honest!) The lyrics are Queen's "No one but you (Only the good die young)"
A/N: This idea popped into my head completely unexpectedly a sort of Flack/Angell story with a twist (not to mention some Smacked around the edges) have fun reading ….. Feedback as always is most welcome more Kissing Stella Bonasera soon (Hopefully).
"A hand above the water an angel reaching for the sky is it raining in heaven -
Do you want us to cry?"A problem shared is a problem halved that's what his Mom always said but Flack mused did this qualify as a problem? Hell he couldn't even decide if it was a bad or good thing that's why he was here about to bare his soul to his two best friends Mac Taylor and Stella Bonasera (one day hopefully Stella Taylor if Mac ever got around to telling Stella just how much he loved her and Stella ever admitted she was crazy about Mac always had been always would be which everybody else in New York State seemed to know except for Stella and Mac!) "We should knock their heads together" Jess had suggested after they had arrived back from Greece still not officially a couple "Maybe that'll do the trick." Jess…… that had been just a few precious weeks before she had died almost fourteen months had gone by since he'd last seen her but it felt more like centuries. Oh he'd gotten over the whole getting stoned every night and sleeping around with (almost) every woman he met phase eventually it hadn't been easy …. Still wasn't easy but with Mac and Stella's support amongst others he'd managed to regain some semblance of stability into his existence he still wasn't quite ready to call it living ….. Without Jess he didn't feel alive he didn't know if he ever would again but he got by. That had been enough for him just getting by till now when karma or fate or whatever you wanted to call it had done it to him again thrown him one hell of a curve ball.
They had agreed on meeting up for breakfast at a little diner two blocks down from the lab and a firm favourite with many of the CSI's and cops who worked there; Flack had been the first to arrive and had ordered breakfast for all three after all the years they had been working together he knew their routine by heart. Flack grinned to himself Mac and Stella even had the same tastes in breakfast both usually opting for oatmeal, wholemeal toast and coffee only varying in that Stella preferred raspberry jam on her toast whilst Mac liked blueberry how they could be so totally oblivious to one another baffled Flack but it brought a smile to his lips all the same. "You haven't done that nearly enough recently …." A warm female voice caught him off guard "What eat breakfast? I could have sworn I did that yesterday" Flack quipped from behind a stack of syrup covered pancakes "Smile you fool" Stella teased sliding into the seat facing him "It's good to see is all." "When the lady is right she's right" Mac Taylor agreed taking the seat next to Stella and Flack watched completely transfixed as they shared one of those secret smiles of theirs two people completely in sync.
"So don't leave us hanging here Flack what's going on" Stella asked taking a swig of her coffee "It's complicated" Flack sighed "It usually is" Mac told him taking a bite of his toast; "Cliff Angell….Jess' dad he came to see me last week when we …. I….lost her well I didn't know but she was on the donor transplant register they managed to save her heart and her corneas for transplant. Her corneas were given to a ten year old boy in Florida but her heart was given to a to a twenty eight year old British woman some sort of pilot scheme linking a British hospital to the one here in order to increase the number of patients able to receive donor organs. Anyways she was coming to New York this week and she wanted to meet Cliff wrote him a letter asking if that would be alright so he asked me if I'd like to meet her too but I'm not sure if I should do it." "When is this meeting scheduled for" Stella asked "Last night" Flack rubbed his eyes tiredly "I got to the door of the restaurant with Cliff but I couldn't go through with it I ran like hell apart from anything else she probably thinks I'm a grade A nut job" He sighed.
"What's her name?" Asked Mac thoughtfully "Guinevere Jones ….Dr Guinevere Jones no less she is a criminal psychologist usually works for Scotland Yard profiling but she is spending three months at Chelsea U guest lecturing" Flack explained to his friends. "You still have time then" Stella pointed out "I know ….. I just…. part of me is over the moon that a piece of Jess is still in this world alive and well. I know in my guts she would be so pleased to know she'd given this woman a chance of life and I couldn't be prouder of Jess ……" His voice trailed of uncertainly. "…..But part of you hates Dr Jones because she's only here at Jess' expense" Mac nodded understandingly. "That's right…."Flack nodded "I don't want to feel this way I know it's not Dr Jones' fault any of this, I know it's incredibly selfish because it's what Jess wanted but I still want to scream at her that it's not fair she shouldn't be here Jess should be" He finished with a heavy heart. "For what it's worth Flack I don't think your being selfish just human if I had been asked who should live then I would have picked Jess no contest" Stella told him "Me too Don there would be no doubt in my mind at all" Mac agreed wholeheartedly.
"What's in your heart though Flack?" Stella asked him gently "Truthfully do you want to meet this Dr Jones I think you already know deep inside what it is that you really want don't you?" "I do yes I want to meet this woman more than anything" He nodded "Truth is and a grown man should never admit to this and I will deny this conversation ever happened if it's ever mentioned again but I'm scared spitless of this woman …… what if she turns out to be some kind of two headed fire breathing dragon who tortures small furry animals and steels candy from babies how could I live with knowing Jess' heart is inside her body?" "What if she's not a two headed fire breathing dragon" Mac quizzed his friend, "What if she is another Jess kind, funny, brave and only steals candy of bad babies" He pointed out. "That makes it even worse" Flack replied "If she is some kind of monster then I can comfort myself with the though that I never have to see her again but if I meet her and I actually like her then am I betraying Jess because I want them both to be alive?" Flack shook his head miserably "Maybe I should take the hint shave my head and join a Tibetan monastery or something because somebody up there definitely doesn't like me."
"Maybe yes maybe no" Stella counselled "Did you ever think that this could be someone's way of giving you closure where Jess is concerned? Which you gotta admit you badly need. It might only be in my head but I think there specific moments in time ….. It's not original I know but turning points that define who and what we are I think meeting this woman is one of those moments for you. I can only tell you what I would do I would go because I don't think I could bear to live with not knowing and for what it's worth I really and truly believe Jess would be happy for you to get to know Dr Jones if it brought you peace of mind simply put she cared far to much about you to want you to spend the rest of your life hurting."
"Don I know it's not quite the same thing but meeting Claire's son Reed helped put a lot of things into perspective for me ….. I won't pretend it was easy at times it hurt like hell I'd see so much of her in him but it's like Stella says it was something I needed to do. The best way I can describe it is like someone switching on a light in a dark room ….. Up till then I'd never really stopped grieving for Claire but knowing that some part of her still lived on it let me finally say my goodbyes. I think you should meet Dr Jones too I think you need to be able to move on as much as it hurts and as much as you don't want to ……Jess is gone and nothing can ever change that but just maybe Dr Jones is proof that something amazing can come from even the greatest tragedy" Mac advised him. "Thank you both of you" Flack nodded "Your both right I think I just needed to hear somebody say it out loud…. Jess always said you two were one hell of a double act if one hurts then both bleed ……." "I…..um …… we should be getting back to work" Mac turned bright red "Definitely…..the troops will be sending out a search party" Stella's usually olive toned skin taking on a definite rose tinted hue.
"One by one only the good die young they're only flying too close to the sun
and life goes on -Without you..."So it was that Flack found himself at 8.30 that night lurking outside Chelsea U's auditorium like some deranged stalker waiting for Dr Jones last lecture of the day to finish having almost gotten himself arrested by Campus security twice (he'd had to show them his Detective's shield before they would believe his story fortunately the Chief of security had taken pity on him and allowed him to wait for Dr Jones.) So far so bad he thought pacing up and down like a caged animal "Aw hell Jess what am I doing here?" He sighed out loud before finally sitting down on a small wooden bench to wait. How is it he wondered that he could quite happily deal with murderers, rapists, and child abusers A.K.A the scum of the earth in general without batting an eye lid but the thought of simply saying hello to this woman turned his legs to Jell-O? By all accounts the lecture was proving to be a great success it had already over run by a good ten minutes and Flack could hear the attendees howling with laughter from where he was waiting. Finally people started to file out of the Auditorium some still laughing all full of praise for Dr Jones if nothing else she was good at her job it seemed.
Flack nervously peeped around the Auditorium's door a crowd of people had surrounded the table in the centre of the room and by that with her back to him stood a young woman with the most glorious shoulder length deep red hair he'd ever seen tied in a neat French braid. Her height and build were approximately the same as Jess she wore black dress trousers and a blue sweater. Currently she was busy shaking hands with people and answering their questions Flack watched her intently as she interacted with the people around her. She turned around to answer a question on ethics to reveal two beautiful ocean blue eyes and rosebud lips she wasn't what you call classically beautiful Flack decided but when she smiled she was quite lovely. The room slowly emptied leaving just the two of them Flack and Dr Jones "Can I help you Mr?" She asked in a soft English accent "Not a nut job NYPD see" He blurted out showing her his badge. "Ok…… I know my jokes are bad but I didn't think they were criminal" She grinned "No…..I'm not here on business I wanted to apologise about last night you see I'm Don Flack…..I'm……." "Your Jessica Angell's boyfriend yes I know Mr Angell showed me some photos of you both" She interrupted. "I was" he said sadly "Not was still….." She told him "What you feel for her that hasn't changed as it?" "No I suppose not…..never has never will" He smiled ruefully. "Detective Flack there really is no need to apologize I understand completely how difficult me being here must be for you….. Do you feel as awkward as me right know?" She asked reddening slightly "I mean you must hate me if I was you and you were me I think I'd want to strangle me right now." "Truthfully Dr Jones no I mean yes ……" He smiled a sense of pure relief flooding over him "The awkward part not the hating/strangling part and it's Don" He replied holding out his hand "Then it's Gwen" She said taking hold of him "Pleased to meet you Don" "Likewise Gwen likewise" He assured her suddenly feeling completely at ease.
"And now the party must be over I guess we'll never understand
The sense of your leaving Was it the way it was planned?""Tea …." She said suddenly "I've finished for the day and I was going to put my feet up with a good cuppa would you like to join me?" Gwen asked; "I'm… I'd like that" Flack nodded his reply. "Well then walk this way" She smiled grabbing an oversized blue velvet shoulder bag and slipping it over her shoulders "Professor Benjamin is very kindly allowing me to share his study whilst I'm here" She explained as they made their way through a series of corridors to a red panelled door which she unlocked. "You'll have to excuse the mess I'm afraid tidiness is not one of Benny's strong points" She apologized shifting a pile of paperwork and textbooks from a green overstuffed sofa to make room "Here let me help you" Flack offered taking a hold of the bundle his fingers just for the briefest moment caressing hers ….. Pure lightening he could swear he felt lightening shoot through his veins like Mac had said something had switched on inside him he could feel it something that had been missing for the past fourteen months……. Jess he wondered silently is that you? Did you send her here to me? "Uhm Don ….I think you can let go now" Gwen grinned up at him "Oh…..sorry yes" He grinned back placing the stack of books and papers onto a nearby table.
"Please….sit down" Gwen indicated to the newly cleared sofa "How do you like your tea anyway/" She asked heading towards a kettle "To be honest I don't drink much tea" He admitted. "Two steaming mugs of best British workmen's it is then" Gwen pottered about finding cups and pulling tea bags out of a flowered tin "Oh Ghost and Mrs Muir, Manchester United and Queen by the way" She told him. "What?" He asked baffled "My favourite movie, football team and music I thought if you knew some stuff about me it might make you feel a little more comfortable" She replied passing him his mug of tea " ….. That's the good tea as well brought it with me nearly caused an international incident at customs" Gwen joked. "Maybe I should arrest you after all for international tea smuggling" Flack teased back "Brewing with intent" She laughed "I must warn you though Copper you'll never take the Jaffa cakes alive" Gwen beamed pulling a second tin of a shelf from behind them .Then she opened it to reveal to Flack what looked liked half chocolate coated sponge flying saucers "Just trust me" She pleaded sensing his bewilderment. "Ok so this is another first for me today" Flack dubiously picked up one of the cookies or was it a cake he couldn't decide and took a bite "Good?" Gwen enquired with a grin "Yeffff….." He tried to reply through a mouth full of Jaffa cake. "See life's full of little suprises now isn't it?" She said kicking of her shoes and settling down into a red velvet arm chair facing him, "Definitely" He agreed "New York Yankees, Bon Jovi and Casablanca by the way…..Jess' favourite movie, music and team." "Tell me about her" Gwen asked softly nibbling on a Jaffa cake herself "What would you like to know?" He replied "Everything" Gwen answered "Absolutely everything." "Well she had the most amazing smile………" Flack began.
"One by one only the good die young They're only flyin' too close to the sun
We'll remember -Forever..."
A/N: For anyone not familiar with them Jaffa Cakes are round sponges filled with orange flavour Jelly (or Jell-O if you like) and topped with chocolate; there as been whole legal cases (I kid you not) on their status as a biscuit or a cake either way they are delicious so I'm going to allow you dear reader to make your own mind up.