Ice: This story will. Be. AWESOME. It has the person who can only compare to god himself in it. Am I going to tell you? Hell no!

So, just read this, and I guarantee you shall agree with me.

SO.

Characters © to Kishimoto

Mystery Character © Himself

Oh, and I LOVE Tobi. I just like making him an adorable little artard.

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The Akatsuki. A bunch of bad-ass people who, while some are dead-we will ignore this-are completely difficult to beat. Why? Because they're the Akatsuki for God's Sake!

But I digress.

Being the Akatsuki, they have very little weaknesses. But alas, there is one man, one legend, on true hero who can defeat all of them in less than the blink of and eye.

They say, underneath his-. No. I shant give anything away just yet.

But, I will say, The Akatsuki is in grave, grave danger. For, this man is coming, and he's going to get them

He's not hunting. That's an understatement to him and his values.

He's killing.

And he's coming after them, bitches.

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Deidara flipped to another page in his glamour magazine. Sighing, he ripped the useless piece of junk up, and flung it in the trash bin. He folded his arms, and looked over to Tobi. He was trying valiantly to catch a piece of fluff in the air, but being Tobi, he fell on his face and started crying. Deidara twitched. Why did he have to have the...weirdest person as his partner?

"Tobi quit crying." Tobi ignored his team-mate, and continued to fill up the room with his buckets and buckets of teardrops.

"Tobi! Look! Pie, un!" Tobi perked up. He liked pie!

"TOBI LEIK PEI!" He ran around in circles, and eventually tired himself out, and fell on the floor, sleeping like a puppy.

"Now that that's out of the way…" Deidara used Tobi's sleeping body as a foot rest, and put it on Leno.

"Heh…un." He laughed at the political joke he heard.

"DEIDARA!" Pein rushed in, dragging Blue by the arm.

"Yeah, un?"

"Blue, tell him your 'vision of sorts'." Blue sighed, and crossed her arms.

"Look, it wasn't really anything. Why are you getting all tight like this?" Pein squinted his eyes at her choice of words.

"Tight…like…wait, what?"

"Never mind…Look, All I saw was a guy, a very Indiana Jones-Esque hat on. He had a kick-ass beard, and…clothes. We're all going to get killed by him, apparently." Pein looked at her.

"Yeah…okay! We need you to set explosives around the base, so we can keep this guy at bay."

"Couldn't you just put clones out there, un?"

"Yeah…well…shut up!" Deidara sighed heavily, and got up from his spot. He had a warm spot too. This had better be pretty freakin' important.

"God…un." Languidly, Deidara went slowly to place the bombs.

"Frickin' lazies…un." Pein turned to Blue.

"So, uh…you wanna make-out?" She shrugged.

"Sure." So they did. W00t.

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"-Sigh-, Sasori, can you hand me they water, un?" Sasori was enjoying watching Deidara work.

Not in that way, Yaoi freaks.

More like, he wanted to watch him squirm.

Yes, he's just that evil. He's pretty Sasori!...:D

"Here you go." He threw the canteen over to Deidara. He wiped the sweat from his brow, as he took a large gulp of the water, and finished placing the last trap.

"Okiey, so that's all done. You wanna play Halo 2, un?" Deidara looked over his shoulder to Sasori.

"Sure." Walking back into the house, they didn't notice an ominous looking figure in the horizon, hiding in the bushes. He squinted his eyes, and stroked his beard in thought.

Weird, right? Especially with Deidara's scope eye.

I digress once more.

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"Okay Pein, it's all set, un." A very tangled looking Pein and Blue nodded to them.

"Okay, he can't get past us now! I place some clones for extra defense, too." Deidara nodded.

"Can we have the t.v? We want to play Halo!" Sasori said, smiling like a little boy of whom he is not but he looks like. Yes. I just said that.

Anyhow, let's get to the 'plot'.

-snickerlaughchokecoughpukedie-

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"'Da hell is this?" Deidara looked at all of the dead clones, and somehow deactivated bombs.

"How…how is this possible, un?" Sasori looked over at the artist, and put an arm over him. Deidara buried his face in his hands.

"Hn. I dunno. Maybe it's because you suck and I'm awesome." Deidara narrowed his eyes at Sasori through his fingers.

"You're not helping, un."

"Not trying to."

"Then go away, un!" A large foot came down unto Deidara and Sasori.

Ka-PWND!

They died from the impact.

"Now, to go to my real mission." The mystery man said.

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"OH SHIT." Pein yelled.

"What? What happened?"

"I just Wikipedia'd the guy from your dream. We are so FUCKED!" Blue went over to the screen.

"Oh…oh crap…Oh god we're screwed."

"Now, calm down. We have to go down with a fight." Blue looked at him.

"WE CAN'T EVEN GO DOWN WITH A FIGHT?!" He yelled, exasperated.

"That guy has another fist under his BEARD. He's going to kill us in a blink of an eye!" And he did. Or, he's going to.

He stood in front of the leader and his lov-I mean-partner.

"Oh God…"

"Oh god no…It's…It's…"

"It's Chuck Norris, bitches. And I'm going to kick your ass." Blue and Pein looked at each other.

"Well, why?"

"Because this young chick hired me to." God/Chuck Norris stated.

"Oohh…"

"CHUCK NORRIS TRIPLE FIST SUPREME ATTACK GO!" He PWN'D them, and went on a rampage, defeating every one else in the Akatsuki.

"Another win by Chuck Norris! My tears can cure cancer!" The screen went dark around him, and in a dark, ominous voice, he said.

"Too bad I never cry…"

"Anyway! The day is saved once again!" A bunch of random kids appeared by Chuck.

"THANKS CHUCK NORRIS!"

"It's all in a day's work, kids! It's all in a day's work."

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Chuck. Norris. Is GOD.

:D
Anyway. R&R, flame plz.