Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or worlds written in this fanfiction.
Please feel free to submit your reviews or any comments that you wish to tell me. I wrote "Prologue" down there because I'm not too sure if I'll write a sequel to it. I'll just see the comments on my review (if I have any at all) and then decide if I should write a sequel. This is the Hermione x Ron version of the other "Of Crushed Emotions", which is a Harry x Draco.It's practically the same but just different characters and a little different story. But I'll definitely write at least one more chapter for this story, one on Hermione's viewpoint. Alright, enjoy the story!
Prologue:
A figure sat at a corner in a dark room, focusing on nothing but his thoughts and notebook. He doesn't notice the pounding
rain outside nor the lightning as it flashes by. He is lost too deep in her sorrow and despair, writing his heart's aches as the lightning strikes again. This time lighting up the room for a split second, but that's all it needed to see that tears are visible on his pale cheeks.
Dearest Hermione,
I know that you don't love me,but at least hear what I have to say? When I saw you writing to Viktor Krum today, my jealousy got the best of me. Sorry, Hermione. I have no right to lose my temper like that. What right do I have? I don't have your love, just your teasing affections. Do you know that I treasure every moment with you? Every time you tease me I fall for you even more. I treasure those moments we spent together.
Remember those times when the three of us would get into trouble together? You would always be the wisest and the first to devise a plan for our escape or for our safety. I really admired you, your wittiness and quick thinking. Like those times you stood up to Malfoy whenever he insulted my family or yours, those moments really made me feel proud of you. Always the brave and strong one, I never expected us to sit together by the fire in our common room whenever Harry would go off on his own without us. You'd be fuming but I could see in your eyes that you were very worried and concerned. We would just talk throughout the night and though we usually ended up in an arguement, it oddly made me feel happy and glad too. Thinking back on these memories could make me smile no matter how bad my day was.
Yet after our fourth year, I noticed some changes. Was it because Viktor Krum? Did he change you? You're so happy nowadays and your face seems to glow. I know I tease you alot and that we quarrel more often than the times we actually have peace but can you tell at all? That I love you? When I think about this, I feel myself tearing and my heart pounding madly. Just a smile from you could make my heart melt and my knees feel like jelly. To my dismay, you started writing to Viktor Krum and showing an interest in him. Just when I was showing my feelings for you. My stomach feels so hollow like a bottomless pit whenever I see you smiling after receiving his letters. Does he make you that happy? More than I can ever make you?
I'm sorry I fell for you. But I can't help it. I'm sorry for treating you badly or being mean to Viktor. But I just couldn't stand, I just can't stand seeing you being so engrossed with him. It was dumb of me of ever hoping that you'll love me. Typical me. I know that, but I can't help what I feel, Hermione. When I spilled that cup of pumpkin juice on the latest letter he sent you., it was no accident. I did it on propose. Don't get mad alright? Please? I don't want you to hate me but I guess you do, don't you? I caught a glance of anger in your eyes after you saw what happened. It tore me apart, I felt my heart stop. I don't want you to hate me! I promise to be nicer, and not let slip anything about my emotions.
Just don't hate me, I'll do anything for you. Even if it means I have to face you everyday and have to try hard to keep my mask in place, I'll do it. I'm addicted to you, Hermione, I can't get enough of you, and will never get enough. I want to make you happy, but I don't know how. If Viktor makes you happy, so be it. Whatever you want Hermione. Even if you'll never be able to read this, it will lessen the stress and pain a little. I hope the best for you. I always will. I find myself writing many letters addressed to you from me but they always end up crushed. I was never good at expressing myself and those were just letters for me to write my true feelings for you. Just one of my cowardice ways to avoid having to confess to you yet feel as though I talked to you about my feelings. I know pretending I'm talking to you is a bit weak of me but I need someone to talk to and I can't talk to the guys. I wish life was easier, that way I won't have so much to worry about...
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Ron looks toward the clock on the nightstand and sighs.
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It's almost midnight. We have a gruelling potions test tomorrow so I guess I should finish up. I love you Hermione, and I won't ever let you know. It'll cause me more pain if you reject me. So it's better not letting you know. I can live with reality, or die trying. For you I'll do anything, anything you want...
Yours always and forever,
Ronald Weasley
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Ron got up and opened the top drawer on his desk. Putting his notebook in the way back, he locks the drawer and crawls back to bed hoping to fall into a dreamless sleep. A sleep that doesn't involve a certain Gryffindor girl. But that is clearly impossible, as he starts twisting and turning in the early hours of the morning. It woke up just before dawn...