From the author's desk: YAY FIRST MIRACULOUS LADYBUG FANFIC! I love this fandom so much, so I'm super excited to try my hand at writing for it.
This one-shot has been cooking for a few months, and I'm excited to finally post the completed version. Like, I legit love it to pieces. Many thanks to Captain Ozone, my fantastic friend and beta reader, for her help in...well, everything, really.
Please forgive any OOC-ness; I'm still getting used to the characters. If you have any thoughts on how I can improve my characterization or storytelling, please tell me! I LOVE feedback!
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. Title inspired by "The Unwinding Cable Car" by Anberlin.
Correlation (Don't Drop Your Arms)
by dreamsweetmydear
Adrien always looked forward to patrol. There was something freeing in the ability to race across rooftops and vault across the Parisian sky. It was fun to be able to wave at passersby on the streets below who noticed him. The city loved him based on merit, and he grew to love his city even more than he did before.
But the best part was getting a chance to spend time with his Lady, without the pressure of a fight. Sure, patrol was serious business; there was no telling when Papillon was going to let loose another akuma, and they had to be on alert. Still, it was a nice chance to continue learning about his partner through their idle conversations on quiet nights and races through the city's skyline.
They had a routine: he'd greet Ladybug with a pun to make her smile, then they'd sweep through Paris on pole vault and yo-yo respectively, stop at a place with a nice view, chat for awhile, say good-bye and go back to their normal lives.
Adrien hated the last part, but it was worth it in the end. Separation just meant that he would get to see Ladybug again soon.
The first sign something was different tonight was her lackluster reaction to his greeting.
"Salut, my lady! You look meow-velous, as usual," he called as he landed on the rooftop where she sat waiting for him. Her knees were tucked under her chin, and her eyes seemed to glow in the setting sun as she stared out over the Seine.
He noticed her frown and her shoulders slump a bit in response to his compliment before she turned away from the sunset and stood up. "Hello, Chat. Shall we get going?"
"Ready when you are," he confirmed, extending his baton in preparation to vault. "Where do you—?"
But before he could finish his question, his partner was already darting through the sky. Confused, he followed after her.
The second sign something wasn't right about this evening was Ladybug's silence.
Adrien had always admired the way Ladybug moved with her yo-yo. There was a gracefulness to the way she instinctively angled herself. It was like she had wings.
So captivated was he in following her path and appreciating the way she flew from building to building (Adrien didn't know whether to curse or thank his hormones in moments like those) that it took him quite awhile to realize that Ladybug wasn't speaking.
Usually during patrol, she would glance back and tease him for falling behind or encourage him to catch up before flying off again with an impish smile. She wasn't doing any of that tonight. Though she continued to swing forward from building to building, he could see that she was moving on autopilot now that he was paying attention. Her head was bowed, and there was a tension in the way she carried herself along.
She wasn't taking in any details around her, Adrien realized, which meant he saw the collision about to unfold.
"Ladybug!" he called out in warning, vaulting forward to land on the roof of the building she was about to crash into face-first. He caught the line of her yo-yo, swinging her up to change her trajectory. The end result had her crashing face-first into him instead, knocking them both back on to the roof.
"Ow," she muttered, sitting up and shifting off of him while tenderly touching her face.
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just fine, thanks for asking," Adrien wheezed from his laid-out position on the concrete surface below.
She finally seemed to realize what had happened. "Oh, Chat Noir, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
He waved her off and sat up with a grunt. She sighed, a small, relieved smile curving her lips. "I'm glad you're okay. Sorry, again."
"No problem, my Lady. Cats always land on their feet, remember?" he boasted with a grin.
She raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed.
"Ehehe, well, usually," he acquiesced a bit sheepishly.
Ladybug slowly got to her feet and he followed suit, dusting himself off from the tumble. "I'm sorry, I've been a bit distracted this evening. I know it's early, but I think I should head home," she said, turning away from him and heading to the edge of the roof, ready to launch her yo-yo again.
An image of her subdued posture when he first saw her this evening flashed through Adrien's memory. "Wait!"
Blue eyes glanced back at him, yo-yo held at the ready.
He swallowed. He wasn't good with this emotional stuff, but he was worried about her, and that was enough to help him push forward. "Is everything okay? I mean, are you okay?" He paused for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I—Is it me?" he asked with a grimace. "Did I do something?"
Ladybug was quick to turn to him, waving her hands frantically in front of her for emphasis. "No, no, it's not you! Absolutely not! I'm so sorry if I gave you that impression. I didn't mean to make you think that at all with how I've been this evening."
Adrien let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, a relieved smile stretching across his face. "Well, that's good, at least."
Ladybug sighed, her shoulders slumped once more as she bowed her head. "I'm so sorry. I haven't had the best week." She gave him a pained smile. "But don't worry. I'll be fine, I promise."
Adrien felt his heart break at that smile. It was so empty, so unlike the true smiles he'd seen before on his Lady's face. The smile on her face now was the kind someone gave to the world when they were trying to keep it together, trying to convince everyone that nothing was wrong. Adrien knew that smile well, having seen it on his own face in press photographs from magazines and articles very soon after his mother's disappearance; it didn't get better until he'd finally found a life outside the mansion and in the company of Nino and his other classmates.
That smile didn't belong on Ladybug's face, and he'd be a terrible partner and friend if he let it stay there without at least trying to help.
"Would you like to talk about it?" he invited her, straddling the ledge of the roof and patting the space in front of him. "Cats make wonderful listeners."
She snorted and tweaked one of his leather cat ears gently. "Because of these?"
"All the better to hear you with, my Lady," he teased with a grin.
Ladybug stood for a moment longer before sitting down across from him, her posture still stiff with anxiety. Adrien remained quiet but gave her an encouraging smile and a gentle poke in the side.
Blue eyes glanced up into green before looking away again.
Finally, she began to speak, her voice soft, as though what she was about to say was something fragile. "Somedays, I wish I could be Ladybug all the time. Because, aside from Papillon, everyone loves Ladybug, y'know?"
She glanced at him again, but Adrien stayed quiet, waiting to see what else she had to say. She continued after realizing he wasn't going to interrupt her. "See, Ladybug is strong. She's courageous and dependable. She's always where she needs to be. She—She's perfect." Ladybug swallowed hard before continuing. "Ladybug is everything I've always wanted to be able to see in myself, but…but I'm really not any of those things. I'm late to everything. I'm clumsy and mess things up just by putting my hands down. My parents and friends have noticed that I'm never where I need to be because being a superhero keeps taking me away from them…"
She stood up then and began to pace as she talked, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as though to keep from flying apart. "Out of the mask, I'm pretty ordinary. And there's nothing wrong with being ordinary, I know, but…but…well, I doubt you've ever been inside a girls' locker room. It's a terrible space, and I hate it so, so much—"
She was still pacing, but her voice cut off as she viciously bit her lip. Adrien noticed she had begun to tremble, and her grip on herself had gotten tighter.
"There is this girl in my class. We've been in the same class for the last five years now. And because she's rich, she thinks the world revolves around her. And today, in the girls' locker room, I was showing my friend some of my recent sketches, because we had time before we needed to leave for our next class. And this girl, she looks over and says…she says…"
Ladybug came to a standstill, and her voice came out quiet and pained. "Ugh, your designs are as stale as the pastries your parents sell. No wonder you're stuck living in that tiny flat above your family's shop—there's no way you all can afford anything else with how little business they must get! You'll never be anything more than average at best!"
By now, the sun had completely set, but Adrien's night-vision had kicked in, and he could see the tears streaming down his Lady's face.
"I hadn't really thought about it before," she hiccupped, "but the more I have to be Ladybug, the less time I spend being me, and the more I start to think that girl is right. Regular me is a useless mess. If I can't stand up to one girl, how can I ever amount to anything when I'm not wearing this suit?"
Adrien stared at the heroine in front of him, slowly processing what she had just confessed.
Generally speaking, Ladybug came across as someone who was larger than life. She was, in many ways, the face of their team. She shouldered the city's expectations with a smile, and the only times he'd seen her be less than kind was when dealing with Chloe.
He thought about the image he had of her, that the city had of her.
Charismatic.
Charming.
Genuine.
Perfect.
Adrien's eyes widened in realization because as he studied his partner, it was like looking into a mirror of himself. More specifically, it was like seeing a reflection of his public image—the loyal and dutiful son, always kind, never a fault in speech or action, and his father's pride and joy. No one ever saw the loneliness, the pressure to please his father, the desperation to get even a few minutes of his time.
For Adrien, receiving the Miraculous had been an opportunity to be more of himself—to be silly and funny while doing something good for everyone. Going to school and making friends like Nino helped him learn to relax and talk about the things that bothered him. As he spent more time around Nino and Ladybug, Adrien found a sense of balance and started to feel settled in his own skin.
He was Adrien, the good son with the secret sense of humor that had his friends rolling their eyes, who made handling a busy schedule and a perfectionist father's impossible expectations look easy. But he was also Adrien, whose alias was Chat Noir, the hero who ran around Paris in a leather catsuit, who used humor to keep people from worrying about the fact that what he and his partner did everyday really was dangerous, who loved his city and would gladly sacrifice himself to keep it safe.
Chat Noir had been an ideal until Adrien had learned he could be both, and that it was totally okay to be both. His friends had taught him that.
"Chat?" Ladybug's soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. Adrien realized she looked like she was about to cry again. "Did I say something wrong? I'm so sorry!"
"No, no! It's all right, I promise!" he placated her quickly, shaking his head and smiling at her reassuringly. "I was just thinking about what you told me."
"Oh," she breathed out, taking a seat in front of him again, her gaze fixed on the rooftop at their feet. "And?"
"And you're both."
"Huh?" She turned to look at him, eyes clouded in confusion.
"You're both!" Adrien said with a grin. "The people of Paris think Ladybug is perfect, but I distinctly remember hanging upside down from a lightpole when we first met because someone didn't know how to use her yo-yo."
Adrien wasn't expecting her to look more hurt at the mention of that memory. "That's not funny, Chat Noir."
Oops. "Sorry! I didn't mean it as a bad thing though, LB!"
"Then how did you mean it? Because to me, it sounds like you're confirming my point—I know I'm already no good as the real me, but now I'm not really cut out to be Ladybug either!" she exclaimed heatedly, before turning completely away from him so that all he saw was her back.
He groaned and covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. Silly Ladybug, she just couldn't see it. How could he explain it to her?
Adrien smiled, thinking of the first time they met. She'd looked so freaked out. In those early days, it had been fun to tease her because she was so serious about trying to do everything the right way, but sometimes it was frustrating too because she didn't always listen to him when he gave her advice. She was headstrong and passionate, but he never entirely forgot the girl who didn't know what her superhero name was and who genuinely looked and acted like she had no idea what she was doing.
He was the first and only person to see the human side of Ladybug, before Ladybug became a real superheroine.
"I love how we met," Adrien spoke to Ladybug's back. "It's one of my favorite memories of us. See, I was excited to be a superhero. Finally, I could be the person I wanted to be. Freedom from authority, a chance to get out of the house and do something exciting and adventurous? That's every teenage boy's dream, I guess, and I wasn't any different." He saw one of her pigtails twitch as her head turned just slightly back in his direction.
She was listening. Feeling more confident, he kept going. "Then you got us tied up and swinging upside down from a lightpole like a pendulum. You looked scared. You didn't have a plan, you had no idea what you were doing. But you still did your best, and eventually, we saved the day."
He reached out a hand, placing it on her shoulder. Adrien tilted to the side a bit, trying to catch his partner's eye. "You're not perfect, Ladybug, because you're not supposed to be. It's okay to make mistakes and be clumsy and mess up. It's okay to be average too. It's even okay to be absolutely awful. That's why we're a team. We work together so we don't have to do it all on our own.
"That girl in your class? She sounds like someone who doesn't know how to work at something to get better at doing it. She can't appreciate what that process is like at all. You didn't start out as the perfect Ladybug that Paris loves today. You started out as the Ladybug who didn't realize she had to purify the akuma to fix the real damage. I don't know what your art is like, but your civilian side probably didn't start out as a fantastic artist. Who knows how amazing you'll be if you keep doing it? But if who you are as Ladybug, superheroine extraordinaire, is anything to go by, then I'd say you'll definitely be above average as an artist and as a person. That is, if you aren't already."
The heroine in question snorted before finally turning a little to face him better. "Just above average?"
"Well, how can I judge properly if I've never actually seen your sketches?" he defended himself.
"Who says you're an authority on art and design?" she teased back.
"Hmm…you have a point. Creativity's not really my…style," he conceded, and snickered triumphantly as, after a brief pause, Ladybug groaned loudly.
"That was terrible, Chat."
"Aww, don't be like that, buginette. Puns are fun-tastic! And anyway, there's a reason you're the one who gets to pull random items out of magic and figure out how to use them to fix the world. I wouldn't expect any less."
She grinned. "I suppose creativity's just what I do."
Ladybug took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and sighed gustily. "Thank you for the talk, kitty. It really helped."
He grinned, giving her his trademark two-finger salute. "Of course, my Lady! Happy to be of assistance!"
The heroes stood, stretching to relieve the leftover nerves and tension from their conversation. "So what are you going to do about the girl in your class?" he asked, reaching his arms to the sky and savoring the feeling of his spine elongating.
Ladybug sighed, releasing her left ankle from its stretch. "I don't know. She and I have been at odds…well, no, that's putting it nicely." She pursed her lips, before shaking her head and meeting his eyes. "She was my bully for the first four years we were in school together. While I'm not her only target anymore, I still am one."
Adrien was floored. He wasn't expecting that, but based on what she'd told him tonight, a lot of things about Ladybug made a lot more sense to him now.
"While I got along with everyone, I didn't have anyone I called a best friend until this year," she continued. "I didn't start standing up for myself until my best friend pushed me to do it. I'm still learning how to be confident in my daily life." She smiled. "Ladybug was my ideal, remember? It feels easier to be confident with a mask on than it does without one."
Adrien stretched his fist out to her. "I have faith in you."
She pounded his fist with her own. "Thank you."
"It's getting late," he said, extending his baton in preparation to leave. "I'd better get home before someone realizes I'm not there."
Ladybug stepped back from the ledge. "I think I'm going to stay out a little longer. It's a nice night, and I feel like watching the city lights for awhile."
Adrien could relate. Paris at night from the rooftops was like looking at a carpet of jewels. It was a gorgeous sight to take in, and with the day Ladybug had, he could understand her need for something lovely to cheer her up.
"Have a good night, my Lady. Same time, same place tomorrow?" he asked, stepping up on the ledge.
"Yes. See you then, Chat. Good night!" she waved to him with a warm smile, and with another salute he threw himself backward off the building, letting instinct and muscle memory take over to bring him up to safety on his pole vault to the next building. Glancing back, he saw Ladybug shaking her head in exasperation as she settled herself on the ledge, legs swinging in a carefree manner.
She was smiling. Good.
He was halfway to his house when his baton beeped at him. Pausing on a rooftop, Adrien clicked the button to open the video screen to reveal his partner's lovely face. "Yes, buginette? Miss my electrifying company already?"
Ladybug rolled her eyes at him. "I just wanted to say thank you again," she said with a warm smile. "And also…if you ever need to talk about something like that, like a bad day in your civilian life or something, I'm here to listen if you need me."
Adrien felt his heart warm. "Thanks, Ladybug. That means a lot."
"Don't mention it," Ladybug grinned back. "After all, we're a team, right?" With a wink of her pretty blue eye, she ended the call.
Adrien beamed down at his blank screen, Ladybug's rhetorical question lingering in his mind. He snapped his baton shut, and began once again for home.
Always, my Lady. Without a shadow of a doubt.