It always mattered to you what she thought of you, because since the first time you saw her all she's ever done is be mean. No, not even that's true, if she was only mean then you would have left her, forgotten about Jade West in the blink of an eye. She wasn't all bad, every now and again there'd be a crack in her defensive armour and there'd be a girl in there, a girl who's weaker than anyone else.
You wonder how no-one ever saw it before, maybe they did, maybe they don't care. Whatever the reason, you seem to be the only person willing to help her, the only person she turns to for help, the only one she can trust.
That seems a little sad to you, she's supposed to be the mean one, so why is the rest of the world just ignoring her pain, ignoring the fact that inside the shell is a girl who's distressed, angry, sad, alone, hurting, crying. You like that feeling when everyone turns to you, but sometimes you wish that someone would manage to stay strong, you wish someone other than you could be the rock, because you want to break down as well.
But you can't because then there'd be nothing stable, you have to be solid because even the girl who looks as hard as steal, even the girl who most people are terrified of, even Jade West is crumbling and you just wanted her to be the rock you could fall and cry against. She was your best hope at someone stronger than yourself.
And now she's left you, you stood alone, the last statue still standing proud and unbroken, and you know suddenly why no-one seems to care that Jade breaks again and again, only to have to try to fix herself. Because everyone else is doing exactly the same, everyone else is breaking, crumbling, falling apart and the glue won't hold for long enough.
They are all slugs, surrounded in a salt so unbearable they have to shed their own skins. Because there's something a little bit liberating about being able to fall. You wish you could fall, and cry, leave mascara all over your cushions and just bring your life tumbling down. You know you have to fall some day; you're just hoping that when the time comes they can all stand on their own, but in the meantime you're climbing higher and higher, forever going up because the only way down is to fall, leap off the pinnacle of success.
But there's no point even trying anymore, there's no-one left who is worth impressing, Jade's stopped trying to fix herself now, she's given up, become the hollow Gothic girl everyone though she already was, and only you see the difference, she's let the bubbling mess of her sluggy insides melt and now she's just slug skin lying in salt. Its a little bit too tragic for you, because she's just died and nobody is mourning, because nobody even knows. They never will.
Oh but how sweet it feels to finally plummet to the ground, in your free-fall you forget you have to hit the ground, you have to crash, you have to split and bleed and cry and break and snap and beg and scream, you have to shatter.
You can't wait to watch their faces as their rock crumbles beneath them.