EDIT SUPREME
I did a rewrite of this chapter, but not much changed. If you read this chapter already, there's no real reason to reread this, other than the fact that it is now a little better. At least to me.
However, if you haven't read this chapter, you would not have been the wiser, so just disregard this and read on.
PLEASE READ: Essentially Total Drama Island with a Musical twist thrown in, but there will be nothing held back. Mud will be flung, tears will be shed, and expletives will be... You get the idea. This is not for the faint of heart. This is what makes television successful. That being said, be willing (VERY willing) to suspend your disbelief as to what can go on television. Because this gets a tad gritty. Now do what you learned in grade school and read!
Chris McLean and Natalie Grossman stood together on what will become known as the ever-infamous Dock of Shame. Behind them is the "scenic" view of Camp Wawanakwa. Chris, the obvious showrunner, took command as he addressed the camera.
"What's up, everybody?" He began. "Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa in Muskoka, Ontario! This is Total Drama: The Musical! I'm your host, Chris McLean, and this here is my lovely assistant-"
"Co-host," Natalie interjected, annoyed with Chris's massive ego.
He corrected himself. "Co-host Natalie Grossman. Here's the deal: twenty-six campers are arriving as we speak to spend about twelve weeks at this lovely island in order to compete for the grand prize of TWO MILLION DOLLARS!"
Natalie Grossman continued: "Since this is Total Drama: The Musical, each challenge will feature something pertaining to music. This could range from a random singing challenge thrown into the mix to the entire challenge being based around performing. The possibilities are practically limitless!"
Chris decided to take over. "After each challenge, there will be a winning team and a losing team. The winners revels in their victory, and the losers vote off one of their own at the dramatic campfire ceremony."
"This process will eventually whittle the number of campers down to just one," Natalie continued. "This lone survivor will be declared the winner of Total Drama: the Musical and will win the grand prize of two million dollars and fame and fortune for at least a few months."
Chris grinned. "Who will win? Who will lose? Who will humiliate themselves in front of millions of viewers? Find out now on TOTAL. DRAMA. THE MUSICAL!"
Chris maintained his pose for a painfully long time. Natalie realized why.
"They already did the opening credits, Chris."
Chris broke his pose. "Oh, yeah, yeah."
The first boat arrived, and Kendra Hansen walked onto the dock. She had long, dyed black hair with the left side of her head shaved close to the scalp. She had a stud in one of her nostrils and a tattoo of a fist on her side, which was revealed due to her midriff shirt.
Kendra was listening to music on her phone, not bothering to take out her earbuds. As each camper arrived, the hosts read sheets clipped to their clipboard to associate full names with faces.
"Kendra Hansen!" welcomed Natalie. "Welcome to Total Drama: The Musical!"
However, Kendra was too busy surveying her surroundings to notice her. It was a good twenty seconds before she took out one of the earbuds and turned to Chris and Natalie.
"Sorry," Kendra apologized flatly, "did you say anything?"
"We said 'welcome to Total Drama, Kendra'!" said Chris, rather annoyed.
Kendra rolled her eyes. "Well, you've certainly rolled out the welcome mat, I see." She placed the earbud back in her ear and walked to the opposite end of the dock.
Before Chris could make a sly remark about his distaste for the first contestant, the second arrived. Daniel Moreno hopped off his boat and walked over to the two hosts. He wore a high-and-tight haircut and a white t-shirt with jeans. He shook Chris's hand eagerly.
"Hey, Chris McLean!" Daniel greeted. "It's great to finally meet in person!"
"Daniel Moreno!" introduced Chris. "Welcome!"
Daniel turned to Natalie and shook her hand as well. "What's up, Natalie?"
"Hello, Daniel." replied Natalie kindly.
Daniel looked around. "So are we actually staying here or is this some sort of joke?"
Chris and Natalie exchanged devious looks before Chris turned back to Daniel and replies: "No, this is actually just a stop for the next boat. It'll get here shortly, just sit tight."
Daniel groaned. "I'm not sure if I can stomach another boat ride, Mr. McLean."
Chris chuckled, whipping out his clipboard. "Well, Jesus H. Christ, Daniel! You weren't kidding! You really are gullible!"
Daniel gave a few fake chuckles in response, embarrassed. "Oh. Yeah. No, I wasn't."
After the unbearably awkward moment and more forced laughter, Daniel made his way to Kendra and gave her a short wave. She didn't reciprocate nor acknowledge, due to her preoccupation with her phone, which was pumping punk rock butane through her eardrums (from the sound of it, Kendra really enjoys classic NOFX).
"Here comes the next camper!" Chris beamed.
And indeed, there he was, and he went by the name of Martin Gully. The fearful young lad made his way off the boat slowly and carefully. He was a shaggy-haired boy with a button-up shirt buttoned all the way up to his neck, causing it to stiffen and tense. The two hosts walked toward him.
"Martin Gully!" Chris greeted, looking down at his clipboard. "Welcome to the Island, brother!"
Martin respectfully nodded and gave a meek, "Hello" before walking to the opposite end of the dock, deciding not to stand near Daniel or Kendra. The hosts noticed but decided not to indicate the mannerism.
The next camper, Rebecca Abatangelo, arrives on her boat and meets with the dock, her long blonde hair flapping in the breeze. She wore a football jersey and leggings with Nike footwear. She gave a sniff and walked to the hosts.
"McLean." She greeted. "Grossman."
"Welcome, Rebecca Abatangelo!" said Chris.
"Abatangelo." Rebecca corrected, using a more Italian-sounding pronunciation.
Chris shrugged. "Alright. Well, chances are I'll butcher that pretty often."
Rebecca walked toward the other campers and flippantly replied, "No, you won't."
Chris was left dumbfounded as Natalie announced: "Here comes Lucas Concannon!"
Lucas Concannon had a foot propped up on the railing of his vessel, as he looked toward his destination. The wind swept back his long, wavy hair and ruffled his polo shirt and khaki shorts. He docked and walked to the hosts.
Lucas quipped, "It seems that your knowledge of 'tropical' extends as far as the branch of smoothie stores." His brand of humor was influenced pretty heavily by Chandler Bing and Louis C.K., with healthy doses of John Cleese and Steve Martin.
Chris brushed off the remark, knowing Lucas to be quite the 'funny man'. "Lucas! Welcome to Total Drama!"
"Yeah, 'Welcome'." replied Lucas. "Any more 'welcome' and I'd be paying rent."
"Go stand with the other campers," instructed Natalie impatiently.
"With relish, Nat," replied Lucas as he sauntered to his fellow bunkmates.
Another boat arrived as Ginny Fontana took to the dock. She had curly auburn hair in a ponytail and a ton of freckles. She wore a pair of earrings with a breezy tank-top and cuffed jeans.
"Ginny Fontana!" greeted Chris.
"Hi!" she replied cheerfully. "It's so great to finally be here! Can't say the boat ride was all that great though. I'm not sure that bathroom has been cleaned in a while."
Natalie gave a thin smile. "Glad you could make it in one piece. Stand with the others, please."
Ginny walks over and stands next to Lucas, who leans to her and says, "See, you got a please. She said 'please' with you."
Ginny giggled and nodded. "I noticed that, actually."
Lucas extended a hand. "Lucas Concannon."
Ginny accepted the handshake. "Ginny Fontana."
"I noticed that, actually," copied Lucas, nodding. Ginny laughed again, warming up to this young stranger.
Vander Jacobs was the next to arrive, stepping confidently off the boat he came in on. He wore neatly combed hair, sunglasses, a stubble, a smirk, and a tank top with ripped khaki pants.
Chris grinned at the man after his own heart. "Vander Jacobs! Welcome to Total Drama: The Musical!"
Vander grasped Chris's hand and went in for a short hug. "Hey, Chris. Glad to be here."
He then walked to Natalie. "Hey, Nat." They hug.
Kendra scoffed, pulling out an earbud. "Why's he being so friendly, huh?"
"Must be his personality," reasoned Daniel.
Vander walked to the other campers. "Hey, guys. I'm Vander."
"Hey." The campers said in unison, with their deliveries matching their distinct personalities.
Ross Blair, an amateur gymnast, nimbly made his way off his boat and strode toward the two hosts. He had a spiky haircut, a cleft chin, and what resembles a gymnast's uniform. He had a short, stocky build that made him seem as if he was always flexing his muscles. Whether or not it happens to actually be his gymnastics outfit was a question no one decided nor cared to ask.
"Hello, everyone." Ross beamed. "I'm here for the two million."
Lucas snorted. "Take a number, man."
"Welcome to the island, Mr. Ross Blair!" Chris welcomed.
"Thank you, Chris." Ross walked to Natalie. "Hey, Natalie."
"Hello, Ross." She smiled at him politely.
The next boat arrived as the arriving process quickly clipped along. The burly Lilith Weiss was the next contestant to dock. She had a short ponytail, a hoodie with cut-off sleeves, and a genuine smile on her face.
Chris gestured to her. "Lilith Weiss! Welcome!"
"Hi, guys." She gave a wave to the two hosts and walked to the other campers.
Natalie leaned to Chris. "She's, like, two heads taller than me. You see that?"
Chris ignored her hyperbole and shrugged. The next boat shored up to the dock and dropped off Eric Yamada, a rather abnormal, short boy of sixteen years of age and Asian-American heritage. He wore a collared shirt and long pants (perhaps too long, unless that was the intention).
"Ladies and gentlemen," began Chris, "Eric Yamada!"
He said nothing and looked in the direction of the campers. "Nine campers."
Chris stared at him. "Yeah...?"
"That means I'm the tenth." Eric began to rub his forehead nervously.
"Is something the matter, Eric?" inquired Natalie, concerned.
"Ten is an incredibly unlucky number for me." Eric revealed.
Chris stammered, "I'm, uh, sorry to hear that, dude."
Eric kept rubbing his forehead with the heel of his palm. "Oh, man. This is an omen. It only gets worse from there. Why did I have to be the tenth?"
"You know, I can leave." Offered Martin.
"Look, just go stand over there, alright?" said Chris rather rudely. Eric sighed nervously and complied. Natalie gave a disapproving look to Chris. He looked flabbergasted. "What?!"
Irene Zimmerman was the next camper to reach the island. She wore was seemed to by a country club outfit. She had a short haircut and a beauty mole above the right side of her upper lip.
"Irene Zimmerman!" Chris announced. "Welcome!"
"Hi!" said a bubbly Irene. "I've never felt more ready to be here!"
"Glad to hear it!" added Natalie.
Irene walked over to the other contestants. "Hi, everyone. Good to meet you guys."
Everyone either nodded or gave an appropriate greeting to her. Olive Brunetti's boat was the next to pull ashore. She wore her hair in a messy bun and a sundress with flipflops. Her eyes shift around as she approaches the hosts.
"Olive Brunetti!" greeted Natalie. "Welcome!"
Olive respectfully nodded. "Thank you." She walked over to the other campers, not saying a word.
Vander smiled at her, taking a shine to her. "Hi, Olive. Nice to meet you."
Rebecca raised an eyebrow, getting a tad jealous. "What's up with that?"
"What's with what?" replied Vander, who wasn't paying much attention to her.
Rebecca decided to hold her tongue. "Nothing. Forget I said anything." Vander looked over at her through the corner of his eye for a beat before looking at the next boat to arrive to the dock.
Solomon Andrews docked on the Dock of Shame, and gave an affectatious, polite smile to the hosts and the campers. His jet-black hair was gelled into place and he wore a three-piece suit. He carried a briefcase.
"Wait, is this a business meeting?" Lucas inquired jokingly, looking himself over. "I am so very under dressed."
"Solomon Andrews!" Chris beamed. "Welcome to the island!"
"Thank you, sir." Solomon completely ignored Natalie, however. Natalie scowled at him as he walked to the other campers, taking off his pinstripe blazer and setting down his suitcase.
Lilith offered a hand to the young entrepreneur. "Lilith."
"Hello." Solomon shook her hand, smiling as if he were a politician.
Lucas spoke into his fist as if it were a microphone and jested to Ginny. "Are you running for re-election, Governor, or is one term good for you?"
Ginny laughed again, covering her mouth with one hand and slapping Lucas on the arm. "You're awful!"
Chris and Natalie turn to the camera. Chris addressed the home viewers. "With that, half of our contestants have arrived!"
"Thirteen down, thirteen to go!" Natalie added.
Chris nodded. "See the next thirteen come to the island after this commercial break!"
A few minutes later, Chris addressed the home viewers once again. "Welcome back! During the break, another camper arrived. Introducing Hailey Keller!"
The camera panned to Hailey Keller, a transgender, teenage girl wearing a tank top and a skirt. Her fashion sense was impeccable. She nervously waved at the camera.
"Hi, everyone," replied she. Hailey walked over to the other campers silently, making a conscious effort to swish her hips to get further in touch with her femininity. Solomon and Rebecca felt different levels of disgust or discomfort as Hailey neared them.
Nicholas Stratton was the next camper to be introduced. His hair was coiffed and his nose upturned. He wore a short sleeved shirt with the sleeves and front pocket both being maroon and the rest an off-white. The outfit was finished off with skinny jeans and Converse shoes.
Good ol' Nicholas surveyed his surroundings as Chris approached him. "Nicholas Stratton!"
All Nicholas said in reply was, "Another season at Camp Wawanakwa? Really?"
"Astute observation, Nick!" bubbled Chris.
Nicholas sucked his teeth and mumbled, "Damn, McLean, why you gotta be like that..." He walked to the other campers, not saying anything. Kendra seemed to like his personality, but said nothing. Instead, she turned the music down on her phone to observe him.
The vivacious Caitlyn O'Leary stepped onto the creaky, wooden dock with a smile bigger than the great rock of Gibraltar on her lips. Her shoulder-length, wavy red hair fluttered with the wind. She wore a striped tanktop with a very thin cardigan on top. She wore jean shorts and wedges.
Natalie smiled. "Welcome to the island, Caitlyn O'Leary!"
"Hi!" Caitlyn waved to everyone, with most campers waving back.
Ross gasped instead and ran toward Caitlyn. "Oh my god, Caitlyn?"
Caitlyn took a beat to recognize him and then gasped as well. "Ross Blair?! Holy crap!"
They embraced, laughing and swinging back and forth. Everyone watched as they pulled apart and reconnected (a more poignant phrase than originally intended).
"I can't believe it!" Ross beamed. "This is so serendipitous! I haven't seen you since middle school!"
Caitlyn sighed happily. "I wish you never moved to crummy old Ohio."
"Me neither! It sucks!" They laughed.
Chris interjected, slightly annoyed with the bubbliness. "Could you guys continue that conversation over there with the other campers, please?"
"Okay, yeah, sure!" Caitlyn remained unfazed.
Ross made sure to kiss some ass. "You got it, McLean!"
The two walked off to join the others, still bantering as the next boat pulled up.
"Are you going to stay in Ohio?"
"Not for long, I'm going to college in Boston!"
"Oh, fun!"
Shoshana Lopez sauntered up to Chris. She wore a long, floral dress with hoop earrings and dark, flowing hair.
"Shoshana Lopez, everyone!" Chris gestured toward Shoshana.
"Hello, Chris." She glided by him after giving him after a rather inappropriate tap on the butt. Chris gave a yelp before grabbing his own ass with both hands. Natalie broke into laughter, to Chris's chagrin.
"Shut up." Chris mumbled.
Shoshana immediately walked up to Daniel and switched on her charm. "Hey."
Daniel smiled. "Hey. I'm Daniel."
"Oooh," cooed Shoshana, "Daniel. Such a masculine name..."
Rather than taping a horribly predictable conversation, the cameraman made the brilliant decision of switching focus to the dock. The next contestant to reach the island was Keane Norwood. He wore a backwards Snapback and a hoodie. 'Beats by Dr. Dre' headphones hang around his neck. He stepped off the boat.
"Hey, jackasses." He snickered as he sauntered to the other campers.
Natalie sighed. "Keane Norwood of Toronto."
He sarcastically replied: "Reppin'."
A voice boomed from off-screen, startling everyone on the dock.
"And hello to the folks at home!"
The two hosts and the campers looked to the ocean blue to see a boat in the distance bearing the incompetent Jeffrey Traylor waving stupidly to the island. On his empty, little head was a Red Sox baseball cap, which masked a haircut gone wrong. Before he could reach the dock, Jeffrey stepped forward and into the water. After a beat, he came up for air and began to flounder about for air.
Chris sighed, rubbing his temples. "Sonofa-"
"I got him!" Taking initiative, Vander ran to the dock and snatched one of Jeffrey's flailing limbs and pulled him to safety. Jeffrey weezed for air as he soaked the wood of the dock surrounding him.
"Thanks," he mustered before crawling to the other campers, Vander following cautiously.
Natalie looked at her clipboard. "Jeffrey Traylor. That must be him."
"Having quite a bit of fun, here, aren't we?" harked a voice. Everyone turned slowly to see Quinton Gallagher, who had just arrived. A boat behind him motored off. Quinton was a gangly fellow with a patch of hair on his chin, bushy eyebrows, and a permanent scowl on his face.
"Quinton Gallagher!" Chris sighed and mustered a, "Welcome!"
Quinton shook his head slowly. "Whatever." He walked to the other campers, which suddenly had a new face among them. It was a girl with curly blonde hair draped over her left shoulder. Her glossed lips broke into a nervous grin. She wore glasses and had a healthy complexion.
Chris gaped, glancing down at his clipboard. "Julia Finnerty? When the he-"
Julia laughed awkwardly. "I got here before he did, but no one said anything."
Chris put his face in his hands. Natalie, who had been relatively silent up to this point, did the honors of saying, "Welcome, Julia!"
"Thank you." Julia resumed the private conversation she was having with Irene.
Meanwhile, Keane extended a hand to Quinton. "Keane Norwood. What's up?"
Quinton looked him up and down slowly before accepting. "What's up?"
Chris regained his composure as the next boat pulled to the dock and Sheena Tergesen landed with it. She wore a locket around her neck and a massive amount of eye shadow. She wore a short-sleeved shirt with Capris.
"Ms. Sheena Tergesen!" Chris announced, cheery once again. "Welcome to Total Drama: The Musical!"
"Mmhmm..." was all that Sheena could muster before she felt her nerves beginning to arouse. She stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled as she took her place with the other contestants. Chris looked after her, wondering what the display was for. Chris snapped out of this state of confusion when a voice boomed beside him.
"Chris McLean!"
He turned to see Darius Fenton, a young, slim African-American man with a stubble and a flat-top haircut. He wore a graphic tee, cargo shorts, and flip flops.
Chris grinned. "Darius Fenton! Welcome to Total Drama!"
"Thanks, bro." Darius walked to the other campers.
Eric Yamada looked him up and down. "You look kind of familiar."
Darius snickered. "You mean I look like DJ, right?"
Eric, astonished he was able to put his finger on it so quickly, nodded. "Yeah!"
Darius nodded with him, grinning from ear to ear. "Yeah, I'm his cousin."
The other campers stare at Darius, dumbfounded. During this, the next camper had arrived, and her name was Ashley Berkowitz. Her long brown hair had blonde highlights that reached the small of her back. Her bright blue eyes shone in the sunlight.
Natalie smiled. "Ashley Berkowitz! Welcome!"
She looked around, taking in Wawanakwa's scenic nature. "Wow, this place looks-!"
"Like shit?" Keane piped up from off-screen.
Her expression immediately went to a factitious frown. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. I wasn't appreciating it or, uh, anything."
Chris and Natalie gave her blank stares as she walked to the other campers.
The next boat to dock carried Xion Romano. This relatively always chill dude wore his hair in dreads with a hair tie keeping it all back. His dark skin and green eyes were also among his stand-out features.
"Xion R-R-R-Romano!" announced Chris, rolling his tongue.
"Hey, Chris McLean." Xion gave Chris a nod. "Natalie Grossman." He gave her one as well.
"Hello, Xion." She replied.
He jerked his head to the other campers and turned back to Natalie. "So these guys are my team mates?"
"Well, yes and no," she replied. "we'll explain more once everyone has arrived."
Irene looked around, counting heads. "It looks like there are twenty-five of us here now, so that shouldn't take long."
Xion nodded, comprehending. "Got it." He walked to the other campers.
The final contestant was the effervescent Rosalia Carlson. She was a biracial young woman: half African-American, half Hispanic. She had a curly afro and a hibiscus flower in her hair.
She smiled at everyone as she was helped off the boat by Chris. "Hi, guys."
"Rosalia Carlson!" shouted Chris. "Camper Nombre Twenty-six! Welcome to Total Drama: The Musical!"
"Thank you!" replied Rosalia. "I've been resting my voice for weeks, I'm psyched to be putting it to use!"
"Aren't we all?" Nicholas murmured to himself. Lilith shot him a look, which he ignored.
"Well, that makes twenty-six campers!" announced a pleased Natalie, clipping her pencil to her clipboard.
Chris whipped out a camera. "Alright, campers! Let's do a quick promo shot!" He immediately snapped a picture of the group of campers, none of which where ready. The non-photogenic snapshot appeared on the camera's screen as he chuckled with satisfaction. "That was so easy and SO worth it!"
The campers began to vocally protest. Natalie cut them off. "Alright, everyone! To the campfire pit! Let's go!"
The campers stand around the burnt-out campfire as Chris explained more of the competition to them. "Here we are. Your home for the next twelve weeks."
A damp Jeffrey interjected, confused a great deal by the way Chris phrased his introduction. "What, this campfire pit?"
Chris stopped and grew slightly frustrated. "Wha- No! I mean here! Camp Wawanakwa!"
Jeffrey nodded. "Ah, okay."
Chris shook his head, gathering all of the strength left within him to persevere through the speech. "The campers sitting around you could possibly be your teammates. They could be your opponents. They can be comes your friends. Or they can become your enemies. To usher along that natural process, Natalie and I have separated you folks into two teams. When I call your name, please make a group to my left. Lucas. Sheena. Ginny. Keane. Solomon. Shoshana. Daniel. Julia. Rebecca. Eric. Kendra. Rosalia. Aaaaaaand Xion! Move it, move it!"
The campers scrambled to the indicate spot they were to congregate. Eric began to rub his forehead again. "Again with number ten. Will it ever end?"
Chris throws a blue flag to Solomon. "You have officially been christened-" He stopped briefly to laugh at his own pun. However, he was the only one to. He clears his throat and continues: "You are now the RIFFIN' BUCKS!"
Solomon unfurled the flag to reveal their team logo, which included a buck with massive antlers with a music note near its mouth. The campers cheered and high-five each other. Keane, however, merely shrugged and grinned.
Natalie held the other flag. "The rest of you, come over here to me! Ross, Ashley, Olive, Vander, Jeffrey, Irene, Hailey, Martin, Nicholas, Lilith, Quinton, Darius, and Caitlyn!" They walked to Natalie as she threw a purple flag to Vander, which he immediately unfurled. Their logo was of a bald eagle with a music note by its beak. "You guys are now the Screeching Eagles!"
They all showed excitement. That is, all but Ashley. Trying to appear cooler than she was, she scoffed. "Purple?"
Vander smiled and looked at her. "The color of royalty."
Ashley, immediately embarrassed, made her demeanor more positive. "...Purple!"
Keane, who was with the other team, struggled to stifle his laughter. Lucas grinned.
"Alright, campers!" Chris took back the authoritative, proverbial reins. "There's one more thing I gotta show you before we go to your cabins to get you situated!"
Chris sat cross-legged on a toilet and talked to the camera.
CHRIS: This is the confession cam. This is where you go to either get something off your chest and reveal your innermost thoughts or to dish some dirt about the other competitors.
Quinton frowned, his head resting on a fist.
QUINTON: I knew I should've passed on this. Advertisement at its worst.
Martin sighed.
MARTIN: Something tells me that I'll be talking to this inanimate camera more than anyone else here on the island. And that's a pretty depressing thought.
Olive shrugged, leaning against the back wall pensively.
OLIVE: I'm not sure if I trust any of these guys. I've seen these shows on TV, and everyone turns out to be manipulative and two-faced. Autonomy is key, I guess.
Solomon crossed his arms.
SOLOMON: If I don't win this competition, then this entire show is a joke. I surrounded by idiots. Up to my rib cage in fools.
DANIEL: (gushing) I really think this Shoshana girl's the one. I really do. I'm already head over heels for her and I just met her! This is insane!
HAILEY: (sighing) I'm really all there is to represent the transgender community on this show? It makes me feel as if I was picked as a joke.
Rosalia sipped a water bottle, warming up her voice.
ROSALIA: Zeeeee-aaaah! Zeeeee-aaaaah!
Julia practiced a piano arpeggio with her nimble fingers.
JULIA: (to herself, singing) Dumdududumdudumdeedaaahh...
Ginny sat with her elbows on her knees, her hands covering her face, hiding a huge blushing smile.
GINNY: Okay, so maybe I like him! But what's not to like? He's charming, funny, and my god! That hair! I could go on about it for days! It's so-
Suddenly, a music note icon appeared in the top right corner of the screen. A bell chimed as Chris grinned and turned to the campers. "Would you look at that! It's time for you suckers to sing!"
The jaunty, common-time music began to emit from speakers hidden around the camp. The campers looked at each other, frozen.
"Sing WHAT?!" Sheena shouted, the first actual words she had spoken ever since she arrived.
Chris replied, "Anything! Freestyle! Take it away, campers!"
Sheena, having not the foggiest on what to sing about, cleared her throat to begin singing to the bouncy tune.
"Ode to Camp Wawanakwa"
SHEENA: (shaky, thinking of lyrics on the spot)
Camp Wawanakwa,
We'll always be true
Camp Wawanakwa,
Your oceans... Are blue-
NATALIE:
Sheena, good try, stop right there
I don't intend to damper
But let's forget the scenic view
And sing about the campers!
Keane leaned to Quinton and whispered, "How the hell does she do that?" Quinton shook his head.
GINNY:
You mean we sing about ourselves
And what we're really thinking?
CHRIS:
That's right, Fontana, keep it up!
LUCAS:
I feel my ego sinking!
SOLOMON: (spoken)
This singing thing happened a lot sooner than I anticipated.
CHRIS: (singing)
Well, you better do it soon
Before you're eliminated!
A few campers were surprised that Chris had such a lovely vibrato. They also happened to be terrified of being eliminated within a few minutes of arriving.
Lucas leaned to Ginny. "I think we're good."
Keane stepped forward, clearing his throat.
KEANE:
Oh, Camp Wawanakwa
This place is a hell
MARTIN:
I hope this little competition
Will bring me out of my shell
CHRIS: (spoken)
Good!
Chris gave Martin a thumbs-up. Martin grinned, satisfied with himself. The song continued.
ROSS:
Twelve weeks on the island
I hope I win the dough
ERIC:
I know I won't, I have been cursed
You haven't even heard the worst
Go on, just watch me be the first
The first of us to go!
ASHLEY:
Oh, Camp Wawanakwa
I don't know what to think
KENDRA:
Of course you don't, but who's to say?
JEFFREY:
I think I need a drink.
HAILEY: (spoken)
What?
NICHOLAS:
I never thought that twenty-six
Was so much until now
SOLOMON:
We'll weed a camper out by night
They'll disappear from left to right
I'll sit back and enjoy the fight
Until I take my bow!
REBECCA:
Oh, Camp Wawanakwa
Yes, I already regret
That I chose to spend my summer here
My folks will be in debt
CAITLYN:
You gotta be more positive
We're at a freaking camp!
HAILEY:
You gotta take it on the chin
DARIUS:
Turn that frown into a grin
IRENE:
It may take something from within
JEFFREY:
I think I got a cramp.
QUINTON:
Camp Wawanakwa
This whole thing is a mess
XION:
Not if you just chill out, man
QUINTON:
I like you even less
OLIVE:
Oh, Camp Wawanakwa
Is a little weird to me
DANIEL:
This whole place is sketchy as hell!
SHOSHANA: (to Daniel)
At least there's you!
JEFFREY: (spoken)
Hey what's that smell?
LILITH: (spoken)
That's you.
JEFFREY: (spoken)
Oh.
LILITH:
This will not go well
Unless you use Degree!
Suddenly, the sound of a piano wafted through the air. The campers whipped around to see Julia at the piano, doing what she does best. She slowed the tempo down a tad.
"Where the hell did that come from?" came an inquiry from Natalie.
JULIA:
Camp Wawanakwa,
It's tearing at the seams
It's the place for laughs and tears
For envy, angst, and dreams
Rosalia walked to the piano to join her.
ROSALIA:
Camp Wawanakwa
Don't you cry for me! [Julia dramatically gives a chord tremolo]
Whoa-a-a-a-a yeah ye-aaaaah!
Rosalia displayed a magnificent riff, which garnered a positive response from the other campers, and even Julia herself. Vander walks to the piano.
VANDER:
This isn't for the faint of heart
We're hear to praise a higher art
You'd loosen up-
VANDER AND ROSALIA [harmony]:
If you were smaaaaaaaaaart!
DANIEL AND SHOSHANA [in a canon to make four-part harmony]:
You should staaaaaaart!
EVERYONE (including CHRIS and NATALIE):
Because you're on TV!
The music kicked back in, picking up energy until it hit the final button. Everyone posed, panting heavily. After a pause, Chris broke his pose.
"Alright, so let's go see about those cabins, eh?"
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