Heart Racing
Author: So when I first got into the BR fandom I started writing a fic about the 3B class getting back together for their 5 year class reunion, but it never went anywhere. This was a flashback scene within the fic and I decided to rework it as a oneshot, as not to waste it. As always I'd love to know what you think!
They were sitting on the hood of Shinji's car looking up at the stars. Ever since Shinji got his driver's license he had been taking Yutaka here.
Shinji said it was where his uncle used to take him rock climbing when he was a kid. The place wasn't deserted, but Yutaka had only seen other people perhaps three times out of the many times he had been there. Shinji had never brought any of their other friends out to this spot with them, and as far as Yutaka knew, he had never brought any of them out here without him.
Of course Shinji had mentioned that this was an important place to him, that he didn't want many people around. Yutaka would be lying if he said he didn't feel special to be allowed in such an important place to Shinji.
The area had lots of appeal with the tall mountain and the trees surrounding it. It also had a small pond near it where Shinji had taught Yutaka to swim two summers ago. It had a sign that said they weren't allowed in it, but with some coaxing Shinji had convinced Yutaka that it was okay to swim there. It seemed silly to think back on how nervous he was to swim in the pond since now they did it all the time. Yutaka still wasn't a great swimmer, but he was decent at it, and he enjoyed doing it.
Shinji had also tried to teach Yutaka to rock climb, but that had only happened once. It had only taken one time for Mim to tell him he wasn't going to be responsible for the premature death that would result from further attempts. Not that Yutaka cared much. Rock climbing had been Mim's idea.
Another big appeal of the place was the stars. In town a person couldn't see stars like this, but in this spot they shown bright. That was why the boys were there, spending their last night together before Shinji left for school in the morning. Yutaka wouldn't leave until the day after.
"I can't believe I leave tomorrow," Shinji said while looking up at the stars. He had the arm farthest away from Yutaka lying back under his head, while the other arm lay in the bit of space between them.
"I know," Yutaka responded sadly. His hands were lying on his stomach as he looked up at the stars. He couldn't believe that in a matter of days he and Shinji would be on opposite sides of the country, unable to simply walk to each other's house.
"It all moves so fast," Shinji said turning to look over at Yutaka.
"Too fast," Yutaka chuckled while returning Shinji's gaze.
Mimura didn't say anything, but continued to look at Yutaka.
"What?" Yutaka asked after a moment.
"I'm thinking," he said before looking back up at the stars.
"What about?" Yutaka asked. He wondered if Shinji was worried about college. He knew Shinji had expressed concern in the past about what kind of future a person could have in a country like theirs, but Yutaka never knew what to say to him about it.
"There are so many things people don't do or say, ya know? And then things end and they can't," he answered. Yutaka had no idea where Shinji was going with his thought, but he listened anyway. "I'm just thinking about things."
Yutaka had to think for a minute before he replied, "Sometimes things aren't over though. Sometimes people give up too soon."
"You think?" Shinji questioned him.
"Yeah… I mean even if someone dies I think they hear what we say. It's not too late to say something." Yutaka couldn't read Shinji's face well enough to see if he had helped at all. Yutaka thought that maybe it was about Shinji's uncle. After all, it'd be a long time before he could come back to this spot.
Shinji laughed a little. "I'm not thinking about death, little man."
"What are you thinking about?" Yutaka asked, hoping for a more straight forward answer.
"There's something I've been thinking about doing, but I haven't done it yet. Haven't decided if I should yet."
"Since when are you so indecisive?" Yutaka asked.
"I wish I knew," he said shaking his head.
"Well, I think you should do it," Yutaka said looking over at the third man.
"You don't know what it is. I could be debating about drowning you in the pond for all you know," Shinji pointed out, still looking at the stars.
Yutaka shook his head. "That's a chance I'm willing to take," he said and watched as Shinji turned to face him. "If there's something that you're going to regret not doing then you need to do it. You can't start off college thinking about things you didn't finish. And if you really need to drown me to do that, then that's fine."
Shinji smiled as he shook his head.
"Maybe I will," Shinji said with a smile. Yutaka knew he was referring to doing what he'd been thinking about, not drowning him.
"You should," Yutaka said after a few minutes of silence.
Shinji sat up on the hood of the car and Yutaka sat up beside him. He thought they might need to leave, but Shinji didn't move any farther.
Shinji looked over at him and smiled before he leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, "You sure?"
"I said y—" But before the sentence was out Shinji had his lips pressed firmly against Yutaka's.
Yutaka's eyes almost popped out of his head, but then he relaxed as he felt Shinji's left hand on his neck, his thumb rubbing at the nape. He closed his eyes.
Shinji pulled away for a second, but when Yutaka didn't say anything he leaned in and kissed him again. Yutaka felt nervous and scared and excited all at the same time.
Shinji pulled away again to look at Yutaka. "You've gotta talk to me," Shinji quickly darted in again to kiss him before moving away. "I-If you want me to stop or something you have to tell me."
"Are you nervous?" Yutaka asked, surprise and the slightest bit of amusement present in his voice.
"No, I'm—" Shinji started, his voice sounding almost offended. His tone was enough to tell Yutaka that he was a little nervous.
"No. It's a good thing," Yutaka cut him off. "It means it's not just me." He had to look down at the hood of the car as he said it.
Yutaka heard Shinji let out a small breath as he grabbed his hand. Yutaka looked back up at his taller friend, who was bringing his smaller hand up to his chest.
Shinji laid Yutaka's hand flat against his chest, letting him feel the rapid beating of his heart. "Maybe I'm a little nervous," Shinji admitted with a small smile.
Yutaka let out a laugh. "That's nothing," he said as he took his hand off of Mimura's chest and led Mim's hand to his own chest. Yutaka's heart was beating noticeably faster than Shinji's.
"I think your heart's gonna explode, midget," Shinji said, smiling as he looked at Yutaka.
"Yeah, but I can finally say I'm faster," Yutaka told him, not moving his hand away from Shinji's that still lay on his chest.
"Only your heart," Shinji pointed out.
"Isn't the heart what counts?" Yutaka asked, causing Mimura to laugh.
"I like to think so," Shinji said as he began massaging his thumb against its spot of Yutaka's chest.
It was at that moment that Yutaka realized that he was still holding Shinji's hand to his chest. He let out a small nervous laugh before moving his hand away.
Shinji let his hand linger on Yutaka's chest for a moment before he removed it and allowed it to drop down to the hood of the car.
"So that's what you've been thinking about?" Yutaka asked still looking down at the hood of the car.
"Yep. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it," Shinji said looking at Yutaka's still downturned face. "Speaking of which, how do you feel about it?"
"Um," Yutaka started as he began rubbing at the back of his neck. "You know… Good. And, um, yeah. Good."
Shinji let out a small snort as he continued to look at Yutaka's downturned face. Yutaka finally looked up at the sound of Shinji's snort and smiled nervously as though apologizing for his poorly formed response.
"So, like, good enough to, let's say, do it again? Or…" Shinji let his question linger.
"I would be okay with that," Yutaka said smiling and trying not to show just how excited and nervous he was.
"Then come here," Shinji said in a husky voice, all traces of nervousness gone. The smile on his face reminded Yutaka of a shark, although not really scary, just very predatory. Of course that sort of made him the prey, which should have made him a little scared, but instead added to his excitement.
Yutaka slowly moved closer to Shinji, raising up to reach Mimura's mouth. Shinji was quick to respond to the kiss, his tongue coming out of his mouth to slowly lick against Yutaka's lips. It took Yutaka a second to catch on, but once he did he quickly opened his mouth to allow Shinji's tongue entrance.
Their tongues moved together slowly, Yutaka trying to follow Shinji's more skilled lead. Shinji felt the clumsiness in Yutaka's actions, but he simply smiled into the kiss as he let Yutaka get comfortable with it. He kind of loved that Yutaka was learning to kiss from him. He kind of loved that Yutaka wanted to kiss him.
Shinji brought his left hand up to run through Yutaka's hair, while his right hand settled on one of Yutaka's bent knees. Yutaka made a pleased sound when Shinji pulled gently at his hair.
Both of them laughed against the other's lips at the sound Yutaka made, both briefly opening their eyes to look at one another.
When their eyes met both boys were smiling, both content in what they were doing. Yutaka leaned in again and Shinji met his lips openly. It was loving and lazy, as though they'd done it a million times before and had all the time in the world to keep doing it. Sadly that wasn't the case.
They ended up with their foreheads pressed together, both breathing in a slightly sped up fashion as they eyed each other happily.
"I'm not gonna lie, I can't think of a better way to spend my last night in town," Shinji said honestly.
"Then there must not be one," Yutaka said, the compliment not lost of Shinji who moved his right hand to hold Yutaka's.
"Lay with me?" Shinji asked leaning back on the hood as he pulled his forehead away from Yutaka's.
"Yeah," Yutaka replied easily as he lie down, Shinji's arm moving to pull him closer.
The rest of the night was spent with Yutaka lying in Shinji's arms, the two boys occasionally sharing small kisses, as Shinji once again attempted to point out some of the more complicated constellations to Yutaka, who never saw anything past the big and little dipper.
Yutaka didn't see the constellations any more clearly than he had during any other visit to this place.
"How the fuck is that a scorpion?"
"That's the tail."
"No, it's just a bunch of stars!"
But it didn't matter to either of them. Because the stars were bright, and they were together, and that was really all that mattered.
They didn't make any promises to each other. They didn't swear to call or keep in touch; they didn't pledge their eternal love for each other. They just watched the stars together and when the first bit of sun started to show they got back into the car to drive home.
They still didn't make any promises. They didn't talk about what it all meant. They just held hands on the way home, not letting go for anything.
It was only around nine when they pulled up to Yutaka's house.
They both looked at the smallish house for a second before they let go of each other's hand and Yutaka stepped out of the car. He walked around to Shinji's side of the car, where the window was still open from the drive.
"Do awesome at college Shinji," Yutaka said with a small smile.
"You too. Try not to let the math get to you," Shinji joked with a smirk.
"Yeah, you just try to actually learn the history this time around," Yutaka said using the same tone.
"It's all a crock of shit anyway," Shinji responded with a small shrug. The action was so very Mimura.
Yutaka slightly shook his head before he spoke again, "Bye, Mim."
"Later, Midget," Shinji said before he pulled the car away from the house.
It was the closest thing to a promise there was, but even it held no weight. But it didn't need to, they had a perfect night and nothing could take that away.