Disclaimer: I don't own enough flannel shirts to be George Lucas, I just checked. Nor do I have the singing voice needed to be Florence Welch. All rights go to George Lucas, Disney, Florence and the Machine, and the amazing person who made the "book cover" for this story.
Such an Almighty Sound
The first time Shmi Skywalker's son in placed in her arms, she swears that he will be able to hear her heartbeat. It beats frantically against her chest as if it already longs to be with the one it belongs to, as if it is already trying to escape and join the small boy cradled in Shmi's arms. It terrifies her. Never in her life has she ever been able to claim that her heart belonged to someone else. But now, within a matter of seconds, her newborn son has taken her heart and stamped his name on it. That's why it doesn't take longer than a heartbeat for Shmi to decide her son's name. All she has to do is look inward and read what is written there.
There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an almighty sound
It's not much of a surprise that Anakin loves flying. Or more accurately, it's not much of a surprise that Anakin loves the sound of engines roaring. The first time he truly decided that he wanted to fly was when he heard the sound of an engine at a pod race. He was a good ten minutes away from the track where the race would take place, but when the racers revved their engines the ground shook. The noise, the feel, the rumble, the anticipation of speed and the feel of the wind whipping past you. That's what Anakin loves. Those feelings steal his breath even now, years and years after that first pod race. After all, the engine is the only noise loud enough to drown out the sound of destiny.
There's a drumming noise inside my head
That throws me to the ground
I swear that you should hear it
It makes such an almighty sound
He catches a man kissing his mother once. It makes his blood run hot and the pounding of his heart is so strong that it gives him a headache. It's not the thought of his mother kissing that enrages him so much; Anakin would be so thrilled if his mother fell in love. No, it's the fact that he can see his mother actively fighting against the man who has forced his lips upon her. For a whole 16 seconds, Anakin can't hear a thing, he can't even think above the din. His vision goes red as the man forces his tongue into Shmi's mouth and pulls her ever closer as she kicks and struggles. When Anakin finally emerges out of his state of shock, he rushes at the man.
He still has the bruises the man weeks later.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
The noise is constant. It's why Anakin hates meditation so much. Why he rebels when his mother tells him to sit still. Why he is so thrilled to be working in a shop on a busy shop. Why he never works in an empty room unless he has to. If it is too quite he can hear it. The sound of his heart beating against his rib cage, begging to be freed from its prison. Anakin can relate. His heart doesn't deserve to be trapped so, but it is what keeps Anakin alive. He can't just release his heart like a bird into the wild. But he also can't bear to hear his heart struggling to escape. So he drowns out the drumming of his heart with noise and hopes no one ever asks him to be quite.
I ran to a tower where the church bells chime
I hoped that they would clear my mind
They left a ringing in my ear
But that drum's still beating loud and clear
Anakin tries to meditate, to focus on the technique and form behind his lightsaber training. He really does. He tries to calm his heart, to slow his mind so that he can find his place in the Force like all the other Jedi. But he can't. He finds no joy in the perfect execution of a lightsaber move. His heart is no fuller after a day of peaceful meditation. There is nothing spectacular in perfection. Only in getting the job done. At all cost. Sometimes Anakin wishes that there was though.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
Watto would always beat him to a rhythm. It was an odd thing for Anakin to notice, all things considered. But when he had closed his eyes to help him forget what was happening, he had found that Watto's lashes were not random but in a steady beat. One. Two. Three. The sting of the whip. One. Two. Three. The sting of the whip. One. Two. Three. And once more. One. Two. Three. Maybe this will be the last one. One, two, three. Please let it end soon. One two three. Be strong. Be strong for Mom. Onetwothree. And everything goes black.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
When Anakin went to visit the Chancellor, the kind, old man would always teach him words from the language of Naboo. Those lessons were one of Anakin's favorite things, but even they paled in comparison to the joy that Anakin would find in simply listening to the Chancellor talking in his first language. Unlike most things that Anakin loved, listening to the Chancellor slowed him down instead of making him feel alive. There was a gentle rhythm to the man's voice that lulled Anakin into a sense of security. It was one of the few things that made him forget the sound of his heart beating against his chest.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
Obi-Wan never yells at Anakin. Or at least he doesn't yell as much as Anakin would like. He's too calm, Anakin would catch himself thinking more often than would probably be advisable. Obi-Wan never seemed to get angry at Anakin about the things he was supposed to. Watto would always get angry with Anakin if he hadn't done his chores, if he was sitting around doing nothing. But not Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan only got upset with Anakin when he was moving too fast, doing too much. He would tell Anakin in a calm voice that too much movement would distance him from the Force. After being with Obi-Wan for six months and never having heard him raise his voice in anger, Anakin became afraid of his Master. What sort of master never yells? Anakin wonders.
As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
And gets louder and louder
It fills my head up and gets louder and louder
The running. The screaming. The fighting. The noise. When the Clone War begins, Anakin finds solace and joy in those things that cover up the noise of his heartbeat. The war takes Anakin's mind off of his heart better than anything. It turns the organ into a tool, a compass, making it into something useful instead of a prisoner. That's why Anakin secretly rejoices in his many opportunities to race into the heat of battle. Because as long as the blasters are louder than his heart, Anakin can pretend that he feels nothing.
I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
But as the water fills my mouth
It couldn't wash the echoes out
But as the water fills my mouth
It couldn't wash the echoes out
Padmé is the only one who truly stops the drumming of Anakin's heart. Everything else just covers it up, just drowns it out. But Padmé. Padmé simply makes his heart stop beating. It doesn't fight against Anakin. It doesn't struggle to be free. It doesn't beat out its constant rhythm. Instead it bows before the only person who has ever or will ever completely own and control it.
I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
Till there's nothing left inside my soul
As empty as that beating drum
But the sound has just begun
The drumming begins at his birth.
It only truly, completely ends when he throws the Emperor and the Force finally finds balance.
When the Force finds balance, it can finally release Anakin Skywalker's heart.
As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
And gets louder and louder
It fills my head up and gets louder and louder
Darth Vader can't hear the drumming unless he listens for it specifically. It is the first thing he notices when he wakes in his new, black cage. The lack of noise. He automatically assumes that it must mean that Padmé is near, but then the Chancellor tells him the news of her death. His heart mourns for the loss of its true love, its true home, and ceases to beat for months. I probably just can't hear it over my breathing, Vader assumes.
There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an almighty sound
Or, the Sith Lord muses, it might just be because I have no heart left to hear.
There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an almighty sound
When Anakin learns that he is going to be a father, the first thing he wonders is if his child will hear the drumming as well. He hopes that his daughter's heart will not try and escape from her. He hopes that his daughter will never be able to hear her own heartbeat, that she will live blissfully, basking in the belief that her heart is truly hers. He hopes that one day she will find a man who will steal her heart and protect it and that she will never notice the empty cavity in her chest because he will give her his own heart in return for hers. He hopes with all his heart that she will love flying because it is fun, not because it is one of the few things loud enough to drown out the noise in her mind.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
When he walks into Watto's shop the day that his world will change, he can hear the drumming.
When he sits in his podracer and prepares to win the race for his friends, he can hear the drumming.
When he first sets foot in the Jedi Temple, he can hear the drumming.
When Obi-Wan takes him as his apprentice, he can hear the drumming.
When he sees Padmé for the first time in ten years, he can hear the drumming.
When he slaughters the Tusken Raiders, he can hear the drumming.
When he loses his hand, he can hear the drumming.
When he kills Dooku, he can hear the drumming.
When he learns that he will be a father, he can hear the drumming.
When he kills Mace Windu, he can hear the drumming.
When he becomes Darth Vader, he can hear the drumming.
When he kills her, he can hear the drumming.
When he follows his destiny, he can hear the drumming.
Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than…
He
Can
Hear
The
Drumming.
As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
And gets louder and louder
And then the Force becomes balanced and the drumming stops.
It fills my head up and gets louder and louder.
The rest is silence.
Author's Note: The odd things you think of at 5:00 am. The name of the song is "The Drumming Song" by Florence and the Machine and I highly suggest that you listen to it. It is really, really amazing. (And awesome for inspiration, in my humble opinion). I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you for reading and reviewing and all those other wonderful things that you brilliant people do.
Did you laugh today?
-When In Doubt, Smile