Author Tract:

This isn't slash, nor will it ever be. I'm a teenage boy, not a teenage girl. Also, please, please, please, give me criticism.

With that out of the way, I present my story,

Day One-pl_badwater

"5..."

RED Soldier strode down towards the Badwater BLU gate, passing by the Engineers nest and the Demomans traps on his way.

"4…"

"Medic!" He cried. A few moments later, the Medic diverted his healing beam towards the Soldier, topping off his health before turning his attention back to the Heavy.

"3…"

Soldier pointed his rocket launcher at the ground, leapt and fired. He soared though the air towards the top of a nearby rock formation.

"2…"

Below Soldier, to the left, the Sniper trained his sights upon the BLU Heavy, preparing to fire as soon as the gates opened up. Similarly, Soldier trained his iron sights on one of the gates.

"1…"

The gates flew open and the sirens persistent buzz began. The BLU Scout was the first out of the gate, and his enthusiasm was met by a quick rocket to his feet. Reacting quickly, he double-jumped to the side, which was again punished by a direct rocket, blowing him to small pieces. "How's that, city boy!" The Soldier cried out triumphantly.

Beside him, Sniper took his shot, which proved his aim true, the BLU Heavy falling to the ground.

"Big-headed freak."

Sniper muttered a farewell insult as his target fell. Immediately afterwards, he swung his rifle around to the left, taking aim at BLUs opposing Sniper. His shot was a split second off however, as they heard the RED Engineer let out a dying cry.

"Damn it boys…"

Soldier muttered a curse under his breath, he knew Engineer was a linchpin of their defense, and now they were at half strength until Engineer returned. Once again, he aimed his weapon at the ground, launching himself at the BLU team.

"RAUGH!"

He screamed maniacally as he flew through the air, turning to fire his launcher. Realizing he was out of ammunition, he whipped out his secondary weapon, the shotgun. Landing behind their Medic, he fired a quick set of shells into the mans back. "MAGGOT!"

When the healing flow was interrupted, their Demoman spun about, Eyelander in hand. Soldier saw the damascene steel sword swinging towards him, and quickly brought up a white, bloodstained pickaxe to counter it. The two weapons clashed in the air before the Soldier, sending sparks flying outwards. Soldier leapt backwards, pulling the sword with him. The two of them shared a mutual scowl before rushing to meet in battle once again. However, that was not meant to be. Soldier suddenly felt the white –hot pain of a pocketknife being forced between his shoulder blades.

"They can bury you in "The Tomb of the Unskilled Soldier"!"

The Spy let out a final mocking cry as Soldier felt his life force ebb from him through the knife wound. Soldier clenched his fist in a final signal of defiance, but he lacked the strength to do anything more than that.

So there he was once more. Trapped within the endless blank white of respawn. His mind hurtled through various wires and tubes as his body was rebuilt by a series of complex machines. Eventually, he felt his mind and body merge and he retook control of himself.

Almost as soon as he respawned, he went into a jog. The Scout ran up beside him and slowed to match his pace. "Go go go!" The Soldier rolled his eyes and grumbled in an irritated manner at Scouts fruitless attempts to make him speed up. The Scout responded with a mocking sigh and a quick jab to the arm. "Ya need to lighten up, Solly."

As they approached the roof, the two of them split ways, Soldier launching himself onto the roof with a rocket jump, where as Scout hung left to flank the cart. Soldier landed on the roof and grabbed a med-kit before heading down the stairs. He reloaded his launcher before heading out towards the tunnel containing the BLU cart.

Upon arriving at the tunnel, he took cover just above it. A short moment later, the rattling of the carts wheels nearly reached the mouth of the tunnel. A maniacal smile spread across Soldiers face as he watched the cart rattle out of the tunnel. Just a moment later, he let out his battle cry and fired a series of rockets into it. All four found their mark, blowing the BLU Demoman and Soldier into pieces near immediately. Their Medic managed to escape his wrath by escaping back down the tunnel. Soldier dropped off of the rocks, preparing to finish him off. However, the whirr of a minigun began to sound, so Soldier beat a quick retreat out of the tunnel and into the building and up the stairs.

"Medic!"

He cried, expecting the German to arrive near instantly.

"Stupid Nazi. Probably making out with that damned Russian."

He muttered, disappointed at his absence. He walked out onto the roof, expecting to see the Engineer already set up. Instead, he saw nothing upon the rooftop but the radiators which were built into the building. He began calling for a dispenser, but was interrupted by the Scout.

"NEED A DISPENSAH HERE!".

Ugh. Him again. Soldier grumbled for a moment before looking at the Scout.

"Scout! Have you seen the Engineer or the Medic in this vicinity!"

Scout shook his head and shrugged.

"Ya know where dey are?"

"Negative."

"Huh…"

Scout sat for a moment to think, but the Soldier grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him upright.

"No time for this. We have to stop the cart!"

By now, the cart had taken the first point, causing the control point tone to sound from one of the many intercoms dispersed around the map. Soldier and Scout paused for a moment after it to grumble and curse before making a plan.

"I go from the front! You flank their rear!"

Scout nodded before heading down the stairs, whereupon Soldier dropped down to the second point. After grabbing a health pack, he crouched behind the concrete blocks, waiting for the cart to come around the first bend.

"Yo! Dey turned round da bend!"

"Affirmative."

He turned around the blocks, rocket at the ready. He fired off a single rocket, which began glowing with a vivid red light.

"Yes! Crocket!"

The projectile smashed into the BLU Heavy and exploded, instantly gaining his attention and anger. With rage glinting in his eyes, the Russian brought his miniguns sights onto the American and began firing at top speed.

"Now!"

With a smirk and a glint in his eye, Scout ran behind the BLU Medic and quickly unloaded a few shots into him. The Medic dropped like a ragdoll, his charge losing his source of healing.

"DOKTOR!"

Soldier took advantage of the Heavies distress to leap out from behind cover and fire off another rocket into the Russians front. The concurrent explosions tore the Heavys body into bloody pieces.

"Hoo-ah! Nice work!"

"Yeah, thanks."

After their quick exchange, Soldier and Scout met once more to discuss the disappearance of their teammates.

"It appears we are the only RED squad members left."

"Huh… Wonder if d'same's happening ta BLU?"

"Hrm. Good question. Let's go."

The two of them headed to the BLU base at a relaxed pace, the two of them hadn't seen a BLU since the Heavy and Medic, so they didn't expect to see any on their short walk to the BLU base. Once there, Scout walked up to the gate.

"YO! ANYONE DERE?"

No response came, so he fired off a few scattergun rounds into their base. Still, no response came.

"Nope. No one's home."

"I could tell, private."

Scout scowled, then walked back over to the Soldier.

"Ey, what're we doin' now?"

"I am heading back to our base and try the radio. I recommend that you come with."

"Dat's good wit me."

Soldier began walking back to the RED base, with the Scout following at his heels. Soldier walked steadily and with purpose, the Scout ambling around glancing about as if to find any of their lost team members. They arrived at the RED base after a few minutes of walking, where upon Soldier headed for the Radio room and Scout headed off to the staff lodgings to grab some food and shuteye.

Authors Tract 2: [s]Electic[/s] Old memes are indeed old.

What? You mean respawn issues are cliché in TF2 fanfiction? I've never seen anything like that before in it!