A Journey of Trust

by donyac

Buck and Danny Series-4-Following the difficult birth of their first child, Danny has to help Buck break out of his depression and learn to trust in himself.

A JOURNEY TO TRUST

Chapter 1

Buck Cross awoke in the morning with small feet kicking him in the back. As he rolled over, he saw his four year old, newly adopted daughter, Summer Storm, curled up in bed, between him and his wife. Summer's blonde curls covered most of her face, and he smiled when he noticed she was sucking on her two middle fingers. Buck looked up to see his wife gazing at him.

"When did she come in here?" he whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping child.

"I think it was around two. She climbed on top of me to get in between us. She said she was scared we would leave so she wanted to stay in here," Danny whispered to her husband.

"You didn't sleep any? Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you're still healing from the gunshot wound. You needed your rest, but if you'll stay with her, I'll go make us breakfast," Danny said, as she started to get out of bed.

Suddenly, she felt a wave of nausea hit her and grabbed a nearby trash pail, and promptly threw up.

"Are you alright?" Buck asked as he rushed to his wife's side.

"I'm fine. I'm only sick a little in the morning. I'll feel better after I eat."

"You stay here. I'll make us breakfast. You need just as much rest as I do," Buck said taking a cloth, dipping it into a basin of water sitting on the dresser, and gently placing it on his wife's forehead.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Summer sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.

"Good morning, sleepy head," Buck said as he went to sit on the other side of the bed.

"Daddy, you snored a lot. I'm hungry. Can we have flapjacks? I had them one time and they was good. Is Mommy alright? I don't think she feels good," Summer talked so fast that Buck had a hard time keeping up with the blue eyed girl.

"You know what, Summer, I think flapjacks is a good idea. Would you like to help Daddy make them? I only have one good arm and I need a good mixer," Buck lifted the little girl and she squeezed his neck.

"Really, I can help? Everybody at the orphanage telled me I was too small."

Buck carried Summer downstairs, putting her down in the kitchen.

Danny leaned on the door frame of the kitchen and watched as the father and daughter made breakfast.

It was both sad and exciting to see the changes occurring around Buck and Danny as the months passed. Charlie Stone married Ellie White and two weeks later, Jason White married Lily. The lure of gold pulled both couples to California. Although everyone was happy for the newlyweds, it was sad to have to say goodbye.

Danny grew bigger each day. Summer was so excited to learn that she would become a big sister. Rachel and Teaspoon had decided to move in with Buck and Danny temporarily, until the baby came. Teaspoon retired from being Marshal, leaving the job up to Kid. He now helped Buck with the ranch fulltime, now that Charlie and Jason had left.

Summer spent most of her time outside with Buck, learning about the horses. She turned five, three months after arriving, and Buck gave her a pony, which she named My Horse. Buck and Danny both laughed at the name and tried to convince Summer that she needed to give him a different one. After a stomping fit, they all settled on the name, My Horse.

"Daddy, he won't listen to me." "Daddy, how do I get him to move?" "Daddy, he don't like carrots." Buck was amazed at her constant chatter. She wasn't spoiled but needed a lot of attention. Buck was getting used to the demands of being a father.

The day finally came. Rachel rang the outside dinner bell at three in the afternoon.

Teaspoon took off his hat and slapped the Kiowa on the back with it, "Yee haw! Looks like you're fixin' to be a new Daddy. I'll head on over and grab Lou."

Buck looked down at the little rag-a-muffin tugging at the pants, "Yes, Miss?"

"Is Mommy really having the baby? I'm going to be a big sister? Do I gotta share my room?" Summer was excited.

Buck bent down and picked up the little girl, kissing her on her dirt filled forehead, "Come on and let's get you cleaned up. You're so dirty that Mommy won't know who you are.

"Yes she will. She knows who I am," Summer said as Buck took the small child to the wash room. He was fixing her a bath when Lou came in.

"Lou, could you giving her a bath for me? I want to go and see Danny before everything gets crazy," Buck asked his dear friend.

"Why certainly. My goodness, your mother wouldn't know who you were," Lou said as she lifted the little girl into the bath water.

"Silly, Aunt Lou. That's what Daddy said," Summer started laughing at Lou.

Slowly knocking and opening the door to their bedroom, Buck came in, "Rachel, how is she?"

"I'm right here," Danny said looking at her husband. Buck walked over and took her hand in his. The sweat was pouring from her forehead. The pregnancy had not been rough, but the baby was extremely large. She had been confined to bed for the past two months.

"What can I do?" Buck so wanted to be there to help, to be with Danny. He took a cool, wet towel and lightly patted it on Danny's forehead.

"Honey, there's not too much you can do right now," Rachel was trying to calm him.

Suddenly the grip on Buck's hand became intense. Danny let out a yell and after a few minutes, lightened the hold she had on his hand. Rachel checked Danny and looked at Buck, "Where's Summer?"

"Lou's giving her a bath," Buck said as he saw the look in her eyes.

"Buck, I need you to go and get Lou," Rachel pulled Buck up.

"No Rachel, I want to be here. I've delivered a baby before," he said, protesting.

"I know, but I need Lou up here with us. See if Teaspoon is down there and you can leave Summer with him," Rachel was insistent as she pushed him out the door.

Buck ran down the stairs. Lou had just got Summer dressed and Teaspoon and Kid walked in. Noah, Kid and Lou's son, was lying asleep on a blanket on the floor.

"Lou, Rachel said she needs you," Buck said franticly, suddenly hearing Danny scream. Turning and running up the stairs, Buck stopped and looked back down. He ran down stairs to where Summer stood, and bent down, "You're going to be a big sister soon. Stay here and help Grandpa and Uncle Kid watch Noah. Okay?"

"Are you going to help Mommy?" Summer looked up at Buck.

"Yes," he said as he turned and ran up the steps.

Danny was only in labor for a half an hour before one final push, and the cries of a small baby were heard.

"It's a boy!" Rachel said as she wiped the child and handed it to Buck.

He couldn't hold back the tears of joy as he looked at his wife, "He's beautiful. He's so big."

"I'd say he weighs well over ten pounds," Rachel said with a slight smile.

"Well, Daddy, are you ready for this?" Danny asked weakly.

Buck looked at his wife. She was so small and pale, "Rachel, is she alright?"

"She lost a lot of blood, Buck. She needs to rest now. Take the baby downstairs, but only for a moment. Let me and Lou get everything cleaned up. Go on. You've got a big sister and a grandpa who are waiting to see him," Rachel said as she scooted Buck out of the room.

Once Buck had left, Rachel looked at Lou, "I didn't want to worry Buck, but she doesn't look good."

"I know," Lou said in agreement.

"Danny, honey, I want you to try and get some rest. Alright?" Rachel took Lou out of earshot, "Go and ask Kid to get the doctor."

Lou nodded and left the room to carry out Rachel's request.

Teaspoon was seated on the settee, with Summer sitting in his lap, and he was holding the newborn, when they all looked up to see Lou. She went straight over to Kid, "Kid, Rachel wants you to go and get the doctor."

"Lou, is everything all right?" Kid looked at his wife in wonder.

"We hope so, but please hurry." Turning around, Lou saw Buck looking at her, his features lined with worry.

"Well, how do you like your new brother?" Lou asked the little girl.

"He's so little. Grandpa said he don't sit up like Noah does. Look at his little fingers. Can I see Mommy?" Summer was so excited.

"Mommy is really tired, so why don't you help Grandpa and we'll let her sleep for a while," Lou said as she turned to face Buck. "Buck, we need to go back upstairs."

Buck leaned on the stair post, his knees wobbling beneath him, "Lou, I knew she didn't look right."

Lou lowered her voice so that Summer couldn't hear, "Buck, she's lost a lot of blood. That child would be a big baby for any woman to deliver, but Danny's very small, like me. We'll just have to wait on the doctor and see."

Buck raced up the stairs and went into where his wife laid sleeping. He climbed onto the bed with her, and kissed her cheek, lying so he could watch her every move, her every breath. Her skin was cool to the touch. Thoughts raced through his head. Buck had seen Danny look sad, broken, and scared. He had always been able to protect her, hold her, calm her fears; but not this time. There was no bad man, no evil to defeat. He felt helpless.

Rachel came back into the room and saw Buck. She went to his side and placed her hand on his shoulder, "She's a strong woman, Buck. Just give her a little time."

"I know," Buck spoke, as a tear rolled down his face, not knowing whether he believed in his own words.

Chapter 2

The doctor checked Danny and agreed with Rachel. She needed rest and time.

Lou took Summer and the baby to stay with her and Kid. She would be a wet nurse for the baby until Danny was strong enough. Summer fought against leaving her Mommy and Daddy, but Lou finally convinced her that her Mommy needed to sleep a lot, and Lou needed her help with two babies in the house.

"Buck, you haven't told us the name of the baby yet? Did you and Danny decide on one?" Lou asked.

"No. I'm not going to name the baby yet. Not until Danny's well. She missed naming Summer. I won't do that to her again. We'll wait. If something happens to her…if something happens, then I'll name him."

Buck waited till they left and sat down with Teaspoon.

"How are you holdin' up son?" Teaspoon asked Buck.

"I don't know Teaspoon. I'm so scared and tired. Teaspoon, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be really happy."

"What are you talkin' about, son? You've got a wonderful wife and two beautiful children." Teaspoon could see the pain in the young man's eyes.

"I know. It's just…every time I start to feel safe and I let myself be happy, something happens. Every since I was a child people from the tribe to the mission school made me feel unworthy to be Indian or white. I was happy being with Ike and working for the Pony Express, and then Ike died and the Pony Express ended. I was happy with Danny, and then someone kidnaps her. I've been given a beautiful daughter and a newborn son, and now my wife is upstairs fighting for her life," Buck ran his hands through his black hair.

Teaspoon looked at Buck, "That is life. No one is happy all the time. Son, you can't close yourself off because you hit a hard spot."

"I know that, but sometimes I just think if I don't hope, if I don't expect much, then I won't lose anything."

"Son, if you don't expect much or you lose hope, you've lost everything," Teaspoon patted the young man on the back.

Three days went by and Danny was growing stronger each day. The day finally came when she asked to see the baby. Buck was overjoyed, but he was still apprehensive.

Buck had still not held his son since the day he helped deliver him. It seemed the days of worry about Danny weighed on his mind. Buck was continually having thoughts of losing not only Danny, but also his children.

Lou brought Danny the baby. Sitting up in the bed, Danny could finally see the beautiful baby boy lying in her arms. The child had his father's features, dark brown eyes and black hair.

Danny smiled and cried light tears of joy, "Oh, Lou. He's beautiful. I'm so scared. I missed this with Summer. What did Buck name him?"

"Danny, he wouldn't name him. He said you didn't get to name Summer and he wasn't taking that away from you."

"Where is Buck? We need to both name him," Danny said looking at her friend.

"I'll get him," Lou said smiling as she left the room.

With a knock at the door, Buck came into the bedroom. Seeing Danny sitting up and feeding their son, he approached the bed. "What are we going to call him? We can't leave it to Summer. She's already calling him 'Cry Baby'," he said with a chuckle.

"Well, what do you like?" Danny asked.

"I don't know. I always wanted to name a son after Ike," Buck looked at his wife.

"And I became very good friends with Jimmy. Maybe we could name him Isaac James? Ike for short," Danny smiled as she looked down at the small child suckling her bosom.

"Isaac James Cross. I like it. Now to convince our daughter," Buck said as both parents laughed.

"Where is Summer?" Danny asked as she covered herself and began to burp the baby.

"Outside the door, waiting patiently."

"Bring her in," Danny said, eager to see the little girl.

"Oh, Mommy, I had such a good time. I gots to go see Aunt Lou and Uncle Kid and Noah and Grandpa and Grandma, but Mommy, that baby can cry. Hey, he's not crying now. Maybe he just missed you like me. Huh?" Summer said as Buck sat her up on the bed.

Buck couldn't help but laugh. It was the first time all four had been in the same room together. They were a family. Still a worry plagued his thoughts, "How long will this last?"

Chapter 3

Time went by. Ike was nine months old and learning to walk. Summer felt like she was a big 'Mommy' and loved taking care of her little brother. Danny was happy, but began to notice a change in Buck.

He would stay away from the house longer and longer. He used to come home during the day for lunch, but now, he wouldn't come home until after supper. Danny was used to Buck having to leave on trips to buy and sell or to trade horses, but his mood had suddenly begun to change.

Danny finally rode out one day to talk to Buck. Rachel had come by to see Teaspoon and Danny asked her if she would watch the kids for a little while.

Seeing her husband lying on a rock with his horse standing nearby, she had to stop and admire the handsome Kiowa. He had removed his shirt letting the sun soak into his bronze skin. Sweat was glistening off of his muscles.

The sound of her horse, Savior, had startled Buck's horse, Warrior. Buck sat up and saw his wife watching him. Quickly he grabbed his shirt and put it back on.

"You didn't have to do that. I kinda liked watching you," Danny said as she rode toward him and dismounted.

"Yeah, well, I need to get back to work. What are you doing out here? Did something happen to one of the kids," Buck said.

Danny was slightly taken aback, but she continued, "The kids are fine. Rachel's watching them. I came out here to see you. We've not been riding in a while; I just wanted to see if you'd want to go to the creek, for a picnic?"

Buck tried to avoid his wife's eyes, "I can't. I've got too much to do."

"Buck, what is going on? Ever since Ike was born, you keep avoiding me. Talk to me," Danny said, stepping into Buck's path.

"Nothing's, going on. I'm sorry," Buck took his wife and hugged her. "I didn't realize I was avoiding you."

Staying in her husband's embrace, but looking up to see his face, Danny said, "Buck, I know when something is wrong. Please, what is it?"

Taking a deep breath and kissing her on the top of the head, Buck told his wife, "A couple of months after Charlie left, the trading business fell off. The two biggest cattle ranches that I sold to changed hands. The new owners don't like buying from 'Injuns'. They've been telling people that the only way I could get the quality of horses I have is by stealing them."

Danny looked at her husband, "Oh, Buck. You should've told me. Can we find new customers?"

"I don't know. Teaspoon is trying to help but…" Buck shook his head, releasing his embrace as he turned around. "Danny, there's more. Tompkins cut off our credit at the store and I'm late on the mortgage."

"Buck, why didn't you tell me? How far behind are we?"

"Two months. Kid's offered me a job as a deputy again. It doesn't pay nearly what the ranch was making."

"Well, Buck if you take that job, I can get a job and…"

"NO!" Buck turned around to face his wife.

"Buck, I can work," Danny said looking at her husband.

"I know you can, I don't want you to. Danny, if it was just you and me I wouldn't mind. But we have two little children that need you at home. You're already working, with them," Buck wasn't trying to be mean. "I'm sorry, but I need to think. Can I meet you at home in a little while?"

"Buck, we can figure out something together…"

"Danny, please, go on home."

Buck was so short with Danny, but a part of her understood. They had gone from a family of two to a family of four. He was an instant father and now felt financially responsible. He was right, he needed to think, and so did she.

Danny went back to the house and found Teaspoon still there with Rachel. Sitting down with the older couple, she felt that she needed their advice.

"Teaspoon, I don't know what to do. Buck's become so distant. I didn't know we were in money trouble. He won't talk to me. He leaves early in the morning and comes home late. He hardly spends any time with kids. There has to be more to it than just the ranch."

Rachel poured Danny a glass of lemonade and sat down next to Danny. Teaspoon was seated on the other side of the young lady.

"I know. I'd hoped that boy would've shaken this fear before now," Teaspoon said.

"What fear, sweetheart?" Rachel said looking at her husband.

"The fear that he will never be happy. The fear that he can't let himself be happy."

"Happy? I don't understand. He has two kids that adore him and I love him," Danny was trying not to cry.

"He told me about it the night Ike was born. He thinks every time he feels happy, something bad happens. I had hoped after you got better that he had shaken the fear. I guess with everything going on with the ranch has brought that fear back out."

Danny thought for moment, "Teaspoon, can you send a telegram for me, make that two?"

"What do you have in mind?" Rachel asked.

"I want to send a telegram to a lawyer in Chicago. I want to see how much I have left from my inheritance. I know it's not much, but maybe it'll help with the mortgage. Maybe if I can get his mind off of the ranch and the money, I can help him see that everything will be okay," Danny said.

"And the second telegram?" Teaspoon asked.

"Send the second telegram to Vin Tanner at Four Corners. He told me and Buck that he had lived with some of the Indians on the plain. He's a good tracker, almost as good as Buck. I want to see if he could find Buck's tribe. Maybe a family trip to visit Red Bear will help. Maybe we just need to get away from everything for a while," Danny looked at Teaspoon.

Teaspoon thought for a moment, "Well, maybe you're right. That boy's all out of balance. Maybe a visit with the Kiowa will help. Alright, I'll let you know if I hear back from either one. Are you two going to be okay in the meantime? Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, I'll try to talk to him again. Don't tell him anything about the telegrams, not yet. Nothing may come of it. I don't want to get his hopes up. We're going to get through this, I hope. I love him too much to let him go," Danny said as she took a deep breath to hold in her tears.

Three days later, Vin sent a message that he would help Danny try to find Red Bear. It might be a while, but he would contact her as soon as he found out something.

A week later, Teaspoon received a telegram from Davis Carter, a lawyer in Chicago. He was traveling out West, and his office had sent a telegraph to his next stop. He was due in on the next stage in two days.

Rachel was waiting as the stagecoach pulled up and a young man exited. Wearing a black suit, a crisp white shirt with a black tie, a white pinstriped vest, and a gold pocket watch, the man was extremely handsome.

"Mrs. Cross?" the gentleman asked.

"No, I'm Rachel Hunter. I'm a very good friend."

"How do you do? I'm Davis Carter," the young man introduced himself taking Rachel's hand and kissing the top of it.

Rachel blushed slightly, "Mrs. Cross asked if I could meet you. Let me show you to the hotel. She's meeting us there. I hope your ride was uneventful."

Davis Carter checked into the hotel and Rachel went get Danny. Danny had decided to go over to Lou's with the kids that morning.

"Danny, he's at the hotel. He seems very nice. Are you sure you don't want one of us to go with you?" Rachel asked.

"No, I'll be fine. Hopefully, he'll have some good news for me. Just a little money will help," Danny said.

"Mrs. Cross, I'm very glad to meet you. Please sit down. I wanted to start by telling you that I'm terribly sorry I didn't get to your case sooner. It appears that my father and your father were very good friends. My father was the person in charge of your inheritance. He passed away three months ago and I've been going through his cases. I'm ashamed to say that he was not the most honest of lawyers," Davis said.

"I don't understand. I just need to see if I have anything left in my account. My husband and I have hit a rough spot and…" Danny started to speak.

"Mrs. Cross, please listen to me. I was going through his client list to try and correct his misdeeds. It appears your account, or should I say you and your sister's account was his greatest. It was shear fate that I received your telegram."

Danny looked at the man with confusion.

Davis continued, "My father became angry that your father willed half of his assets to your sister. He hid most of your inheritance from you. He felt that she didn't deserve it."

"So I do have a little money left?"

"A little? Mrs. Cross, you are a very wealthy young lady. It will take me a few days to prepare all of the paperwork, to release it solely into your hands."

Danny sat looking at the handsome young man, "We're, we're wealthy?"

"Very wealthy. It's not just your portion of the inheritance, it's is also your sister's as well. Mrs. Cross, are you alright?" Davis noticed the young lady was on the verge of tears.

"Yes," Danny sat, slightly angry and slightly relieved. "Do you mean to tell me that my sister and I were wealthy, but he didn't want us to have it? Why?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cross. It was because she was Cheyenne. I never knew how prejudiced my father was until after his death. His journal was very detailed."

"And after my sister's death, why didn't he release it to me then? I had to get his permission to get the little bit he gave me," the truth hitting Danny in the face.

"According to his journal, he felt you made some very bad decisions and you had been corrupted by your sister. In one of his last entries, he stated that because you had married a half-breed, you would never see the rest of your money. I am truly sorry. Please understand, that was my father, not me," Davis took Danny's hand to comfort the girl.

"So, once you release the money to me, it's mine?" Danny asked.

"Yes, to do with as you please."

"Can you help me with some other legal matters then?"

"Well, of course. Again, Mrs. Cross, I apologize for what my father has put you and your family through," Davis stood to let Danny out of his room.

"Thank you, Mr. Carter. I'll be by tomorrow," Danny said as she left the hotel.

Buck was in the general store as he saw his wife leave the hotel.

Chapter 4

"You're rich?" Lou smiled at her friend. "Wait until Buck finds out."

"I know. I can't believe it. I'm still furious about what Mr. Carter's father did but I'm thrilled, too. This still isn't going to fix everything, but Lou, this will help so much. I want to surprise him. His birthday is coming up. It'll take a few days to fix everything," Danny was so excited.

"Danny, I can send Buck to pick up some paperwork for me in the next town. That way we can surprise him with a party," Kid said getting excited for his friend.

"Kid that would be great. I'll get Rachel to make him her famous chocolate cake. Have you heard anything from Vin?" Danny was wondering if she could have more good news for her husband.

"I haven't heard anything yet, but I'll check tomorrow. You'd better get on home before he gets there," Kid said.

That night at dinner, it was eerily quiet. Buck wondered why Danny was in town and why she was coming out of the hotel, but he was still dealing with the conversation he had had with Tompkins. He couldn't get the credit extended and he had just received paperwork from the bank. They were threatening foreclosure.

"Buck, are you alright? You've not touched your food tonight," Danny said as she was fighting with Ike to take a bite of his food.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm tired that's all. I'm going to bed early. Kid wants me to run to Harper's Ridge in the morning. I'll be gone for a couple of days," Buck said with no expression.

"Daddy, you gotta leave? I wanted to go fishin'," Summer looked up at her father holding her fork in the air and swiping a stray hair from her forehead.

Buck had so much worry on his mind, but looking into the little eyes, he couldn't resist a smile, "How about we go fishing when I get back?"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. I love you. Good night," Summer took another bite of her supper.

Danny finally got the kids to sleep and crawled into bed next to Buck. Her heart ached when she discovered that he was asleep.

They hadn't been together as man and wife in over a month, and the last time it felt as if he was going through the motions. She could feel her husband drifting away and only hoped that his surprise party would be the beginning of something better.

Everything was falling into place. Davis Carter turned out to be a very honorable man. He assisted Danny on making very wise business decisions and had agreed to assist Buck and her with the ranch, if Buck would like.

Vin sent word that he had found Red Bear who was overjoyed to hear about Buck and his family. The Kiowa village was not too far from Rock Creek. Danny was making final preparations for the party.

Buck arrived in town earlier than he was expected. He had decided to go into the saloon and get a drink before he checked in with Kid. He walked in, and asked Joe at the bar for a sarsaparilla. Buck took his drink and sat in a corner seat next to the window. Two men sat at a table next to Buck and spoke loud enough for the Kiowa to hear.

"How long's that Dandy goin' be in town?"

"I don't know. Why would he leave? Got that pretty young lady goin' to see him every day."

"Who is she? She looks familiar."

"That's just it. It's that Mrs. Cross. You know the Indian's wife."

Buck looked up. The two men hadn't noticed him. He could feel the anger building inside him. But he kept on listening.

"Damn, you think he knows?"

"No, he's been outta town or something."

Buck looked out the window and saw Danny come out of the hotel with a gentleman in a fine, fancy suit heading to the bank. The anger inside him was now reaching a boil. He went to the bar and asked for a beer.

"Buck, you don't drink," Joe said genuinely concerned.

"Just give me a beer, Joe."

Buck sat at the bar for more than an hour. He knew it. He couldn't be happy. He was losing the ranch, he couldn't support his family, and now his wife was running around on him. To make it worse, everyone in town knew. He finally decided to go home and confront her.

Chapter 5

"SURPRISE!" Everyone yelled as Buck walked in the house.

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart," Danny went to kiss her husband, but he turned away. She smelled the faint scent of stale beer on his breath. Danny knew her husband was not a drinker, and he didn't appear to be drunk.

She felt a shiver of cold rush down her spine, as Buck asked Rachel to take the children into the kitchen for some of the birthday cake.

Danny spoke softly and tried to touch her husband's hand, "Buck, what's wrong? You've been drinking. What's happened?"

Buck pulled his hand back and stared at his wife with a horrifyingly blank expression, "You didn't think I'd find out, did you?"

Danny was taken aback, "What? Find out about what?"

"Oh, come on. About you and the fancy gentleman in town," Buck was on the verge of tears, but his anger was much stronger.

"The fancy gentleman…you mean Mr. Carter?" Danny was still confused.

"I SAW YOU TWO!" Buck pushed his finger into Danny's chest, letting the accusations fly, "You just couldn't stop. I guess once a whore always a whore."

"BUCK, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Teaspoon stepped up and pulled the young Kiowa back away from his wife.

"NO, IT'S NOT ENOUGH, TEASPOON! She's made me a laughing stock in town. I saw her with, who was it, Mr. Carter, coming out of his hotel room. Not once, no, she's been going there all week. The whole saloon is talking," Buck was furious.

Kid shook his head and put his hand on his forehead, "Buck…"

"Stop Kid," Danny spoke softly. She walked to the fireplace and took a package from on top of the fireplace mantel. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied with a yellow ribbon. With tears in her eyes, she handed the package to Buck, "Happy Birthday, Buck," With those words said, she turned and walked out the door.

"WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!" Lou was furious.

"She was running around on me. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?" Buck was still steaming. "I always expected my friends to back me up."

"Buck, open the gift," Kid gently took Lou by the arm and looked at his wife. "He's going to have to figure this one out on his own."

"Kid, I've got to find Danny," Lou told her husband, as he released her arm.

"I know. Let me and Teaspoon talk to Buck," Kid kissed his wife on the forehead, as she headed outside into the night.

Buck stood there holding the package in his hands. For a moment, he almost threw it into the fire, but he finally relented and untied the ribbon.

Legal forms lay in his hands. "Teaspoon, I don't understand any of this."

Teaspoon took a deep breath, "Well son, Mr. Carter came down here from Chicago. He's the lawyer who handled Danny's inheritance. Apparently the inheritance was a lot more than she knew. She paid off the mortgage on the ranch, set up savings accounts for the kids, and had the rest transferred into an account in both of your names. She knew you were worried about money and the ranch, and she was tryin' to surprise you for your birthday."

"Oh, no," Buck sat down, suddenly feeling very uneasy. "But I saw them at the hotel."

"You saw them meeting to work on the paperwork. Where else were they going to meet? Danny was scared you would find out before she could tell you. Lou always met with them there," Kid told his friend.

"DADDY! Don't you want any cake? Oh, no, you opened your present without me. You're crying. You don't like it. I told Mommy you wanted a saddle but she said you would like the paper instead," Summer came out of the kitchen and climbed up into Buck's lap and wiped a tear from his eye.

Buck looked down at the little blonde whirlwind, "I love my present, but I think Daddy did something really stupid. Summer, how would you and Ike like to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa tonight?"

"Really?" Summer asked her daddy, full of excitement.

"Why, of course. I love having my grandkids visit. How's about we get Noah to stay too, huh?" Teaspoon took the little girl by the hand and led her back into the kitchen.

"Kid, what am I going to do? I've messed up big this time," Buck pleaded with his friend.

Lou found Danny in the stable, tightening the saddle on Savior.

"You can stay with us, Danny," Lou said as she walked in. "Of all the pigheaded things he has ever…"

"Lou, I'm not going home with you and Kid, or Teaspoon and Rachel," Danny was calm, almost too calm.

Lou looked at Danny, "Where are you going?"

"I just need to get out of here for a little while. I hate to ask, but could you and Rachel clean up the kitchen for me?"

Lou shook her head, "Of course. Danny, where are you going? Come on, go back in there, and yell at him."

"I'm not going back in there. Not yet. Lou, Buck has never laid a hand on me. He's the gentlest man I've ever met. But what he just said to me…that hurt worse than any of the beatings I've ever got. I can't be around him right now, not with everyone else around."

"Then stay with me and Kid. Danny," Lou was furious with Buck, and her heart was breaking for Danny.

"I just need some time to think. Lou, I love him, but…," Danny mounted her horse, with tears in her eyes, and rode off.

It was past midnight when Danny came back to the house. She unsaddled Savior and brushed him down. After closing the stable door, she went to the house. She could see the glow from the fireplace through the window. Opening the door, she could feel the heat. It was a chilly night so the warmth felt good. Walking to the flames, and warming her hands, she turned to find Buck sitting in a corner with his eyes looking away from her.

She could see that he had been crying and looked around, "The kids spent the night with Teaspoon and Rachel?"

Buck nodded his head and stood up. Walking towards her and trying to place his hands on her shoulders, he pleaded, "Danny, I'm so sorry. I didn't…"

Danny backed away from his touch and turned facing the other wall, "Not this time, Buck. You don't get to speak yet. You don't get to say you're sorry and everything just be okay."

"Danny, please. I'll do anything to make this better," Buck was in tears.

Danny turned around, and tried desperately to hold back a flood of tears and the anger. She knew there was something deeper troubling her husband. Looking at the crumbling man that stood before her, she tried to express what she felt, "Buck, you've only been angry at me twice. Both times, you turned to drink and both times, it was because of jealousy."

Buck spoke up, "But I was wrong. Danny, I'm sorry…"

Danny shook her head, "Let me finish. The first time was when I told you about Summer. You got mad and jealous because another man was protecting her and you didn't think I trusted you. This time you didn't trust me, because you thought I could be with another man. I have always trusted you. I had to learn to trust myself. I had to learn that good things can happen to me. But you…you're still scared to trust yourself."

Danny walked to the stairs and looked back, "You can sleep down here or in the children's room. I'm going to bed. Get a good night's sleep because I promised our children a trip for your birthday."

"But Danny…"

"Buck, you said you'd do anything to make this right. Go to bed, we've got a long day tomorrow."

Danny went upstairs to their bedroom, closed the door behind her, undressed, and climbed into the bed. She cried herself to sleep, burying her face in the pillow. She didn't know what the morning would bring, but she now knew that her husband was more confused than she had first thought.

Buck stayed downstairs, watching the remaining flames flicker out. He sat there in the darkness, with the evening's events playing over in his mind. He still couldn't believe the accusations that he had thrown at his wife. What if the children had heard him? What did Teaspoon think of him? Suddenly the tears he had tried to hold in for so many months spilled out. He cried until early in the morning.

Chapter 6

Daylight came way too quickly, as the sounds from the kitchen woke Buck up. He had fallen asleep lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. He opened his eyes and found someone had covered him with a blanket.

Buck heard the banging in the kitchen, and unlike the day after they were married, he was actually dreading going to the door.

He stood up and made his way to the opening. Danny was already dressed and was taking the biscuits out of the stove. There was a hot cup of coffee sitting at his place.

Danny turned around, "Eat some breakfast and then go and pick up the kids. I've still got some packing to do."

Buck sat down, feeling very timid, "Where are we going?"

"Just know that it's someplace special," Danny said trying not to look into his eyes.

"Danny, can't we talk about last…"

"Eat, Buck. We've got a ways to go today and traveling with two children is not going to be easy."

Buck stood up and took his wife's hands in his, "Why don't we leave the kids with Teaspoon and Rachel, go off by ourselves for a few days?"

"No, this is not about you and me. It stopped being about you and me the day we brought Summer into this house. This is about all of us, you, me and our children. I need to finish packing," Danny released her hold of Buck's hands and left him standing in the kitchen.

Buck pulled up in the buckboard at Teaspoon's house, and put the brake on. Taking a deep breath, and fearing the tongue lashing that he knew Teaspoon would unleash on him, Buck approached the door. Instead of Teaspoon opening the door, it was Summer.

"Daddy! Are you ready to go? We're going on a tripped. Grandma says we're going to have fun!"

"She did? Where is Grandma?" Buck asked.

"BUCK! I'M BACK HERE!" Rachel called out.

Buck went to the back room, where he found Rachel changing Ike, and Lou picking up Noah. Lou wouldn't even look at him.

"Well, are you ready for your journey, young man?" Rachel said as she lifted Ike into her arms.

"Rachel, where are we going?" Buck asked.

Rachel handed Buck the baby, "It's not for me to say, Buck. When did Danny come back last night?"

"Around midnight. Rachel, I don't understand. Danny won't talk, she won't yell. She just said we're going on a trip. Rachel…"

"Sweetheart, you need to go on home. Have a safe journey," Rachel kissed the young Kiowa on the cheek.

Buck climbed up into the buckboard and took the children home.

Arriving back at the ranch, Buck recognized Teaspoon's horse tethered to the front porch. Savior and Warrior were hitched up to a small covered wagon. Danny and Teaspoon was loading it and had My Horse tied to the back.

"Mommy! I get to take My Horse?" Summer asked as Buck placed her on the ground. She ran straight to her mother.

"Yes, you do. Did you have fun last night with Grandpa and Grandma?" Danny said as she knelt down to hug the small child.

"Why of course she did. She'd better give me a hug before she leaves though," Teaspoon quickly picked up the little blonde girl.

Buck picked up Ike and placed him on the ground. The little toddler had learned to stand and could walk if he was holding onto something. The excitement of seeing his mother had him trying to take a step and then falling, face first. A scream instantly came out of Ike. Danny raced to the baby's side and picked him up, using the apron from her simple blue cotton dress to wipe the small amount of blood that came from his cheek.

"I thought he could walk?" Buck said hastily and looked on helplessly, still not fully understanding how distant he had become from his family.

Danny didn't answer, but simply called out to her daughter, "Summer, will you please go get Mommy a clean wet rag?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Buck, will you please help Teaspoon finish loading the wagon?" Danny asked as she carried the baby towards the porch.

Left alone with Teaspoon, Buck wasn't sure what the older man would say to him. Buck decided he would speak first.

"Teaspoon, I owe you an apology for last night." Buck waited on a response, but none came.

Buck finally sat on the back of the wagon, and with tears in his eyes tried to talk, "Teaspoon, I don't…what is wrong with me? I feel detached from everyone. How could I think that Danny was with someone else? How could I say what I said to her? And I guess I thought our son was running now. I asked her if we could get away, just the two of us, but she said no. We're going as a family. She still wants us to be a family, but I don't understand why."

Teaspoon listened quietly, and when the time was right responded, "Son, ever so often, a man gets twisted inside, confused. Your wife could see that. She's had this trip planned for a while now. She's right. You need to go as a family. She loves you and even though you hurt her, she's not giving up on you. Did she tell you where you're going?"

Buck shook his head.

"Well, then, it's not up to me to tell you. But I will tell you that you have a long journey ahead of you. I wish you the best son. You've been given a very precious gift that too few people have – the love of a wonderful family. Don't throw it away."

Danny walked out of the house holding Ike, and Summer tagged along behind. She had changed into a pair of britches and an oversized shirt, "Is everything loaded?"

"Yes ma'am. We'll all be waiting here when you return. Ride safe," Teaspoon said as he helped Danny climb up into the wagon.

Buck looked at his wife and for the first time, saw the determination set on her face, "Danny, which way?"

"We're headed North."

About a half day's ride there and Danny asked Buck to stop by a creek so the kids could eat some lunch. He was slightly aggravated, but he knew she was not going to take no for an answer. Sitting under a tree, he slowly began to notice Danny as she teased Summer about her sandwich. Summer would giggle and take big bites. Ike was sitting and fought against eating the mashed up carrots and potatoes that his mother had prepared. Buck couldn't help but smile, watching Danny as she played a game with Ike to finally get him to laugh, and then eat.

"Oh, Mommy, I gotta go," Summer said standing up and holding herself.

"Alright. Buck, here watch Ike and we'll be back in few minutes," Danny hurried, knowing Summer still needed help with her pants.

Buck sat looking at his son. He had never really focused on his features before. The boy looked up at Buck with dark black hair and brown eyes. He had his mother's narrowed nose, but his father's bronzed skin. Ike was teething, so he was chewing on a tin sleigh bell rattle. Ike noticed Buck looking at him and throwing the rattle down, climbed up on Buck so he was standing.

Buck held his breath. The last experience earlier that morning still played in his mind, but Ike began to giggle, and was trying to say "Da Da". Buck couldn't help but laugh. Buck finally stood and picked up the baby. Ike laid his head on Buck, and Buck held him, tightly. The warmth of the child on his chest released an inner surge of protectiveness. Buck closed his eyes, allowing a tear to fall, and gently walked around, rocking the boy in his arms.

Danny and Summer walked back slowly. Danny could see her husband from the distance. He was beginning to relax, finally taking notice of his family. She knew this was going to be a long journey, but she knew that Buck would make it.

She made sure she made enough noise walking back up the path towards Buck, so that he would look up.

"Are we ready to go?" Danny asked.

"I'm ready Mommy. Do I gotta take a nap? I'm not tireded," Summer said as she was rubbing her eye.

"Yes ma'am, you have to take a nap. Why don't you see if Daddy wants to take a nap with you and Ike?"

"Daddy, Daddy, will you take a nap with me and Ike? Please!"

"No, I need to drive the horses," Buck said protesting.

Danny protested right back, "Oh no, Daddy. Mommy can drive the horses just as well as you can. You need to rest. Spend some time with your kids."

Buck looked at the two children and finally relented, "Alright, but just for a little while. Daddy needs to help Mommy some too. Okay?"

"YEAH!" Summer jumped up and down.

Buck curled up in the back of the wagon with Summer on one side and Ike on the other. Lying on his back both children laid on his chest, as Summer played with Buck's hair. Danny listened to the conversation as Summer asked Buck to sing to them like Mommy does.

"No, sweetheart. Daddy doesn't sing, but I can tell you a story."

"What kind of story?"

"I'll tell you a story that I learned when I was little."

Buck proceeded to tell the wide eyed children some of the stories from his childhood, bringing back memories of ones he thought he had long forgot. Ike slowly closed his eyes, and eventually Summer put her two middle fingers in her mouth, a sure sign she too would be fast asleep. Buck laid there watching the slumbering two, gently caressing their small arms and faces, knowing they both were giving him their unconditional trust and love. He still held a nagging feeling that it was unjustified and undeserved. He closed his eyes in the tranquility of moment and dozed off.

Chapter 7

An hour passed when Buck awoke and re-familiarized his surroundings. Both children were still laying sound asleep beside him. He gently got up and moved to the front of the wagon.

Danny said not a word as Buck took a seat beside her, her eyes never leaving the road ahead. As they sat there in the silence, Buck decided to try and apologize to his wife for his behavior from the night before, "Danny, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what I said to you last night."

Danny halted the horses suddenly, put on the brake, and climbed down from the wagon. She walked into the field and began pacing. Buck climbed down and followed her. As he approached, it became very clear; Danny was going to say everything she should have said earlier.

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE? THIS ISN'T ABOUT LAST NIGHT! YOU PUSHED ME AWAY! YOU PUSHED ALL OF US AWAY! TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY YOU'VE LOOKED AT YOUR SON! IT'S THE FIRST DAY YOU'VE PUT YOUR CHILDREN TO SLEEP!" Danny could no longer hold in her tears. She beat Buck on the chest, so hard that the impact almost made him fall backwards. All of the anger, the fear, the love, and the worry that had been building up inside was coming out. "I STOOD BESIDE YOU! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAD! I LOVED YOU! DAMN YOU! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT LEAVE US!"

Buck grabbed Danny and hugged her, pinning her arms between them. He cried and held her, so tight that they both fell to the ground. He sat there, tears flowing, holding his crumbling wife, "I'm so sorry. I don't want to leave. I love you. Help me please."

They both cried until Danny finally relaxed in the comfort of her husband's arms. Looking up into his eyes, she could see the passion was still there. Buck lowered his head so that his forehead touched hers, cupping her face gently. Danny backed away before their lips could meet, and turned away.

Standing up and wiping her face, she turned back to her husband, "This is more than a physical problem. You have to fix this."

Buck stood up and took his wife by her hands, "Tell me how."

"We're headed to see Red Bear," Danny said, and looked at her husband for a response.

Buck let go of her hands, and turned around, "How did you find him?"

"I contacted Vin Tanner. He found Red Bear and the tribe."

Turning around to face Danny, and running his hands through his hair, "What did you tell Vin? What did you tell Red Bear?"

"Only that his brother wanted to bring his family to meet him. Red Bear was overjoyed. Buck, you told me that once, when you were with the Pony Express, the Kiowa had you go on a Vision Quest, because you were torn between the two worlds. You are confused now, and I can't help you with this. And I can't make you do it, but we're going to the village. Your children deserve to know your blood family, your culture, and your heritage."

Buck caressed Danny's cheek with the back of his hand, "You really love me, don't you?"

Danny closed her eyes with the touch of her husband, "Yes, and I'm not giving up, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Then, let's get going before our children wake up," Buck said pulling Danny closer. "I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you, too, but I don't want anything to be between us. I don't want you to just be there. I want all of you. You'll know when you're ready to give me everything," Danny said gently kissing her husband.

An hour later, and a small voice floated to the front, "Mommy, Ike is kicking me. Stop it! You go over there. OUCH! Mommy, he pulleded my hair."

Danny heard Ike let out a scream. Buck looked at Danny, and she handed him the reins. Climbing in the back, she saw Summer sitting on the side, pouting, and Ike crying and holding his arm, "Young lady, what did you do?"

"Well, he started it. He grabbed my hair, so I bited him."

"You bit him? Summer Storm, you go up front and sit with your Daddy, right now!" Danny said as she picked up Ike to comfort him.

Buck looked at his daughter, as she climbed up into the seat beside him. Crossing her arms and letting out a grunt of disdain, she mumbled, "Stupid brother."

"That was not a very nice thing to do, Summer. Your little brother is a baby. He didn't mean to pull your hair," Buck was trying to reason with the five year old.

"Well, sometimes I don't like him very much. Sometimes I wisheded that he wasn't born either," Summer looked up at her father with innocence in her eyes.

Hearing his daughter's words stung Buck, "Why would you say that?"

"Because Daddy, that's what you said," Summer said shrugging her shoulders.

"What? When did I say that?" Buck was shocked to hear the words coming out of Summer's mouth.

"When Mommy was sick, and Ike was born. I heard you talking to Warrior and you said you wished that Ike wasn't born because he hurted Mommy," Summer continued to chatter.

Guilt swept over Buck. He had said that, speaking to himself. It was never meant for anyone's ears, especially his daughter's. He hadn't meant any of it, but Danny had become so weak after Ike's birth and there was no one else to blame.

Danny sat in the back with the baby, secretly listening to the conversation between the father and daughter.

Buck thought before he spoke, "Sweetheart, Daddy did say something that was very stupid. I didn't mean it, and I never meant for anyone to hear, especially you. That was a very long time ago. Daddy was very scared for Mommy, and Daddy didn't know how to make it better or who to blame. But Ike didn't do anything wrong. He's very little and needs us to protect him. Daddy loves Ike very much and I'm very glad he was born. Daddy loves both of you very much, but I don't think I realized how much until today. Summer, no more biting. Okay?"

"Can I pull his hair then?" Summer said.

Buck tried not to laugh, "No. You tell Mommy or Daddy, and we'll teach him not to do that."

"But Daddy, you're not there when he pulls my hair. Daddy, when can I ride My Horse? I can ride him real good now. You haven't seen me ride him real good. Mommy goes riding with me, but she has to take Ike, and I want to ride with just you and me."

Before Buck could respond, Danny called out, "Buck, in about hour we'll be coming up to a swimming hole. We can camp out there tonight. I know it's still early, but that'll give the kids a chance to play. I've got to wash Ike's diapers, and we'll need to find something to eat for supper."

"Find something? Didn't you bring anything?" Buck asked.

"I'll gather some berries, and you can find us something else, fish, rabbit, or whatever. I don't care, but it's up to you," Danny said totally dismissing the worry in Buck's voice. Danny had packed plenty of food, but she wanted Buck to begin to notice his surroundings.

"Can I go with Daddy?" Summer said sitting straight up in the seat.

"I think that's a good idea, sweetheart. Don't you Daddy?" Danny asked, raising her eyebrow daring Buck to say no.

Buck looked at Danny, and then back at Summer, "I think that would be a great idea. I need a good hunter to help me."

"That's me! Oh, boy!"

Danny stayed by the water with Ike. There was an abundance of edible items to be picked. Ike enjoyed eating the elderberries and huckleberries they found growing wild. Summer went with Buck through the woods.

"Daddy, what are we going to catch? Can I help to cook it?" Summer continued talking.

"Shhh…be very quiet," Buck said to the little blonde whirlwind. Buck drew his bow back, taking aim at the deer that had came into the clearing.

"DADDY AIN'T IT PRETTY. LOOK AT THAT DEER," Summer spoke so loud that the deer took off running.

Buck looked down at the little girl, "Why did you do that? The deer was going to be our supper."

"Oops," she said as she took off running several paces ahead of Buck. Suddenly, she came to an abrupt stop. Buck heard what sounded like a rattle, and fear swept through him. The prairie rattlesnake was inches from his daughter, and was preparing to strike. Without thinking, he grabbed the knife he had strapped to his ankle and threw it. The blade buzzed by Summer, hitting the snake.

"Oh, Daddy, you hit the snake," Summer looked down at the snake.

"Summer, you can't run off like that. That snake could've hurt you," Buck said, rushing to the child and dropping down to the ground beside her.

"I'm sorry," Summer said looking up at Buck.

Buck looked at Summer, and said, "Well, Mommy wanted us to get something for supper. How about snake?"

"We're gonna eat him? Yuck," Summer said, not sure about this meal.

Buck kissed her on the head and gathered up the snake, and after placing it in a cloth bag, father and daughter headed back to camp.

Danny watched as the two came through the clearing. Buck held the little girl's hand. The two were talking and Buck actually had a smile on his face.

"Well, dear, I learned not to take our daughter to hunt deer, but she's very good at attracting snakes," Buck said with a grin as he handed the bag to Danny.

Danny looked into the bag, "Is she alright?"

Buck nodded and looked down at Summer, "And what did you learn?"

"Don't run away from Daddy, but Mommy do we gots to eat the snake?"

Supper was very good. It amazed Buck how Danny could make camping seem so easy. When he was younger, and lived with the Kiowa, they were constantly traveling and living off the land. He had forgotten how much the land provided for them. Danny managed to get Summer to try the snake, which she promptly told them, "Mmm, it's just like the chicken."

"Buck, me and Summer are going to clean up the dishes, and then I'll get her ready for bed. Can you take care of Ike? He needs his diaper changed and he needs to be rocked for a minute," Danny said handing him Ike.

Buck tried to protest when the baby began to cry, "Danny, he's crying. What do I do?"

"Change him and relax," was all she said as she scooted her daughter away with the dishes.

While Summer was chattering and helping wash the dishes in the water, Danny kept a close eye on Buck.

Buck picked up the crying child, and was trying to comfort the small boy. He had always loved kids, but he had never been very good with babies. Getting a fresh cloth, Buck laid Ike down and unpinned the diaper. It was wet and cold, and as soon as he took it off, Ike started laughing. Ike then proceeded to start kicking, preventing Buck from putting the diaper on. Finally, Buck stopped trying to reason with him, and tickled the little boy. Before Ike could catch his breath, and kick again, Buck grabbed his legs with one hand and placed the cloth under him with the other. Quickly fastening the diaper with the pins, Buck grabbed Ike up, and started blowing on his stomach making noises and making Ike laugh.

Danny, watching from afar, started to giggle.

"What is it, Mommy?" Summer asked.

"Daddy's having a little fun with Ike. Are we almost through?" Danny said, turning her attention to Summer.

"All done. Can I go have fun with Daddy, too?"

"Let's both go have fun with Daddy," Danny said as she started to chase the little girl towards Buck.

After a while, the family was seated around the campfire. Buck was still holding Ike, who suddenly turned around and laid his head on Buck's shoulder. Summer was seated in front of her mother. When she put her fingers in her mouth, and her head started to nod forward, Danny knew that was the sign.

"I think we'd better get everyone in the wagon. We need a good night's sleep," Danny whispered to Buck as she stood up, and went to take Ike from him.

"No, not yet. Just a little while longer. Please. I'll bring him in a minute," Buck whispered back.

"Do you what me to stay?"

Buck shook his head, "No, I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay, I'll take Summer and put her down."

Buck held the sleeping baby, taking in every breath, every smell, and kissing him on the top of his head. He sat watching the fire, and wondered to himself, 'How could I have blamed him?'

Chapter 8

The morning sun came early. Buck woke up with his arm around his wife's middle. He couldn't remember the last time he was this close to her. He didn't want to get up. Raising his head slightly, he could see Danny was slightly touching Ike's back, who was sleeping in between her and Summer. Summer was lying on her back but was wide awake. Looking at her daddy and seeing him awake, she quickly sat up. Buck put his finger to his lips, telling her to be quiet.

Buck got up and took Summer out of the wagon, "Now, let's see if we can fix some breakfast for Mommy and Ike."

Summer shook her head in agreement, "Okay, but Daddy, I gotta go first."

"Okay, but Daddy's not used to helping you with this."

"Silly Daddy, I just need helps with my buttons," Summer laughed at Buck.

Buck laughed and helped Summer. They then check the supplies that Danny had brought, and found some coffee, left over biscuits, and some of the berries from the night before. Danny woke up, smelling the coffee, and looked out of the wagon. Seeing Buck and Summer playing and cooking, she turned around and woke up Ike.

Sitting around the circle of the campfire, Danny spoke, "Summer, we're going to see Daddy's family."

"The Kiwa, Kowi, the Indians?" Summer stumbled with her words.

"The Kiowa," Buck slowly corrected.

"And I get to meet Red Bear and Yellow Feather?" Summer asked.

"How does she know about Red Bear and Yellow Feather?" Buck looked at Danny.

"I've told her all about your family. She's wanted to meet him for a while now," Danny told her husband. She then turned her attention to Summer, "Yes, you get to meet Red Bear and Yellow Feather, and your cousins, and even your great-grandmother, Little Woman."

"Little Woman? I thought she had died many years ago," Buck asked, realizing how disconnected he was from his blood family.

Danny put her hand on her husband's cheek, "No, Red Bear sent word that she is very well, and wanted to see you, to see all of us. She was overjoyed to know that you had a family."

"Daddy, why is she named Little Woman?" Summer asked.

"Little Woman is my mother's mother and she is very small, even smaller than your Mommy. She is a much respected person in our tribe. She had begged me not to leave. I saw her only once more, seven years ago," Buck smiled thinking about the grandmother who loved him as a child.

"Summer, when we get there, you have to listen to what me and Daddy tell you. No yelling, no temper tantrums Miss Summer Storm. And you'll get to ride My Horse and show Red Bear how well you can handle him, alright?" Danny looked at her daughter.

"When are we going to be there?" Summer asked.

"We should be there by lunchtime, if there is no fighting or fussing between you and Ike," Danny said.

"Oh, we'll be really good. I promise," Summer jumped up.

Buck watched his daughter, "Danny, can you drive the wagon today? I'm going to ride on My Horse with Summer the rest of the way."

Danny smiled and nodded in agreement. As the couple stood up to prepare to leave, Buck put his hand on Danny's back and pulled her close, kissing her. Upon the release of their lips, Buck looked into her eyes, "Thank you."

Trying very hard not to lose her control, Danny looked down, "For what?"

"For yesterday, for last night, for this trip, for everything. I do love you and the kids. You're right; I need to find my balance. I'll speak to Red Bear when we arrive. I wanted to kiss you before we arrived. You won't see me for a few days, if the medicine man will agree to the quest."

Danny looked up. Her eyes were moist with tears. She couldn't hold her wanting in any longer and she raised her head, took Buck's face into her hands, and kissed her husband longingly. As their lips parted, their breathing heavy, Danny spoke up, "Umm, we need to go."

Buck rode with Summer seated in front of him on My Horse. He was quite impressed at how well the little girl directed the animal. She was very determined, and Buck could see so much of her mother in her.

Danny drove the wagon, with Ike either sitting on her lap or playing in the back. She had put on a simple green dress, instead of the pants. She wanted to make a good impression on Red Bear and the rest of the tribe. About a mile from the village, she stopped the wagon, and went to the back. Danny handed Buck the black vest he used to wear with pride. Buck looked at the black vest, with light decorations on the edges, and smiled.

"My grandmother gave it to me before I left the village. It was so big on me when I was at the mission school, but I grew into it. She never said, but I always thought she was the one who sewed it for me," Buck said as his hands traced the delicate details with thoughtfulness. Buck took off the shirt he was wearing and put on the vest.

Red Bear was watching for the family and meet them as they pulled into the village. Taking Buck into his arms, he hugged the brother he had not seen in years. After releasing Buck from his embrace, Red Bear looked down at the little blonde girl standing beside them.

"You must be Summer Storm."

"How did you know?" Summer looked up at the tall, bronze-colored man. His hair was much longer than Buck's. He wore no shirt and soft, brown leggings with fringe.

Kneeling down beside the little girl, Red Bear spoke directly to her, "Because someone told me that my brother had the most beautiful daughter with hair the color of the summer day and eyes as blue as the sky."

Summer smiled, "And I can ride a horse really good, too."

Red Bear laughed and stood up, turning to face Danielle as she handed Ike to Buck, and climbed down from the wagon, "You must be my brother's wife. You are as lovely as Vin Tanner described."

"I'm very glad to meet you, Red Bear," Danny said, and then proceeded to speak a greeting in Cheyenne.

Red Bear then hugged Danny, as if she had been a long lost member of the family. He then turned his attention to the toddler that Buck held, "My brother, as your daughter is an honor to your wife, so your son is to you. Little Woman will be very proud. She will be praised throughout the village. Your son will grow to be a great man one day, as you have grown to be."

"Red Bear, I need to speak with you," Buck said as he glanced back at Danny. "I am troubled, brother. I need to seek counsel with the elders. I need for the medicine doctor to take me on a quest."

Red Bear looked at the sadness in Buck's eyes, "Running Buck, what is troubling you?"

Looking at Red Bear, Buck replied, "I do not trust that happiness will truly last. I feel lost. I have my family, but I still fear losing them. My fear is pushing them away. I need to see if the spirits will help me, heal my soul."

Red Bear thought for a moment, "It takes a strong man to ask for help of this kind." Looking back at Danny, Red Bear continued, "And a strong wife to stand by her husband. I will speak to the elders on your behalf. Come, Yellow Bird has prepared us a feast in your honor. Tonight we will celebrate. Little Woman will want to see the children."

Yellow Feather was a wonderful cook. Danny and she became fast friends. The communication between the two flowed with ease. The unknown meaning of the words between the Kiowa and the Cheyenne was easily corrected by the use of sign or English. Yellow Feather was a quick learner and Red Bear had taught her some of the White Man's words.

Little Woman was overjoyed at the sight of her long gone grandson and the two new great grandchildren. She accepted Summer Storm as if she was Buck's biological daughter, teaching her songs and stories of the Kiowa.

After supper, Red Bear and Running Buck entered the tepee of the older gentlemen of the village. The elders agreed that Buck needed to seek guidance with a vision quest. He would begin the ceremony in the morning. He returned to the tepee where Danny awaited his return. The children had gone to sleep, and Buck sat down next to Danny.

"I will begin my quest tomorrow morning. Danny, I don't know what the vision will show me. Sometimes it doesn't give the answers."

Danny placed her hand to Buck's lips, "It will give you the answers you need. I believe it will. I can see how much you want this, how much you want us."

They both laid together in the quietness, both wondering what the next day would bring.

Morning came earlier than Buck expected. Red Bear lifted the flap, informing Buck that his journey would begin. Buck looked at Danny as he started to leave. She touched his cheek and kissed him gently, "I'll be here, waiting, no matter what the vision shows you."

Red Bear watched as Buck left with the medicine doctor, "This is a journey I cannot help you with. I will stay and watch your family. My prayers go with you, my brother."

Buck traveled several miles into the mountain and entered into the sweat lodge with the medicine doctor. The older men were already there, seated and unclothed, around the fire and stones. Buck would fast and pray for three days. He slowly began to watch as one by one the men who were seated with him seemed to disappear.

A fog appeared before him, and a great chief stepped out. "Are you my spirit guide?" Buck asked, wondering if this was a dream.

"I'm your father, Standing Oak."

"Standing Oak was Red Bear's father," Buck responded in a haze.

"You were my son, as well. I accepted you as if you were my own, the same way you have accepted your daughter," Standing Oak said.

Buck looked at the man, "I do not remember."

"I told you the ancient stories, I taught Red Bear to defend you, I asked that Little Woman give you the vest of my father when you were ready. My death came way too soon."

"I remember the stories, the ones I told to Summer and Ike. And my vest, I thought Little Woman had sewed it for me."

Standing Oak sat down next to Buck, "You are very troubled, my son."

"So many bad things have happened to make me lose my inner balance. I do not trust myself to feel happiness. If I stop hoping for the good, I will not be disappointed," Buck tried to explain his fear.

"Son, what things have caused this feeling?"

"The death of my mother and the death of my blood brother, Ike; these I was able to live with. But my wife almost died having my son and I was on the verge of losing our home; I blamed our son and I felt as if I could no longer provide for the ones who depend on me."

"Death is a part of life, my son. You are focusing on the evil. Look back. When your mother came to me after the white man had raped her, I held her gently. We looked for the good. We were given a great gift – you. When your mother and I died, Red Bear was there. When you left the tribe, and entered into the mission, Ike was there. When Ike died, your new adopted family was there. When your wife almost died, your two children were there. The land has always been there to provide for you. Bad things will happen, but life will go on. My son, happiness is not a right, happiness is created."

Buck listened intently to the great man that sat with him.

"Standing Oak, how do I know if I'll be a good father? What if I'm like the man who raped my mother? I've already brought my family shame. I avoided being with them, I blamed my wife for something she did not do, and I…" Buck looked down avoiding Standing Oak's stare.

Standing Oak interrupted Buck, placing his hand on the troubled young man's shoulder, "My son, you are a good father. I don't see any hatred or evil in you. You proudly accepted a child not your own. You have never raised a hand to your wife. You enjoy her strengths and her weaknesses. You would protect each and every member of your family.

You must remember this, you are not perfect. As a father, you will make mistakes, but if you love your family, and let them know it, you will be fine," Standing Oak stood up. "You will always have obstacles to overcome. It is how you choose to overcome them that will create happiness. It is time for me to leave."

Buck stood up, trying to stop Standing Oak from leaving, "Please, Father, do not leave me. There is so much I want to know about you."

"No my son, my time is gone. Little Woman can tell you more of me. She can teach you the stories to teach to your children those whom are already born, and to others not born yet. My son, what is your given spirit guide?

Buck asked, "I was given the eagle as my guide. Why?"

Standing Oak stood up, "My son, your guide has been before you the whole time. Speak to your wife. Ask for her Indian name. Embrace the good. Trust yourself my Running Buck. Create your happiness," Standing Oak walked into the fog and disappeared.

Buck awoke from the daze of the vision quest and the medicine man and the elders encouraged him to eat. He rested, healed, and ate for another two days before the men told him it was time to journey back to the village.

Buck's head was much clearer on his path to see his family. He now felt that he was a good father. And although he was too young to remember him, Standing Oak's influence was still with Buck. He had had a great example of the way a father should be. He now held an intense desire to see his children, to be with them. He wanted to hold Danny close, to feel her warmth against him.

He also needed to know more about the great man that he now called Father. Red Bear had always spoken of him in passing, and he was still too young to remember what his mother had said about Standing Oak. The taunts of the other children and braves had always haunted him. Knowing that he was the product of the rape of his mother had always caused him fear and worry.

He wanted to spend more time with Little Woman and learn more about Standing Oak. He now understood why it was hard for her to let Buck go. He had only seen the bad part of his birth, now he wanted to know and see the good.

Chapter 9

Buck walked into the village, seeing Red Bear first. As he approached his brother, Red Bear spoke first, "Running Buck, you look much better. Has your balance been restored?"

Buck reached out and hugged his brother, "Yes, I feel whole again. Red Bear, I saw Standing Oak."

Red Bear smiled at the mention of his father, "You were very young when he died, not much older than Summer Storm. What did you learn?"

"He said that he loved me as his own. I'm still wondering if he was real or a dream."

"Sometimes it is hard to know when you receive a vision. Sometimes it is what you need to hear and sometimes it is the spirit of someone you need to see. What did he tell you?" Red Bear inquired.

"He told me several things; how he taught me stories when I was little, and that the vest I wear was his father's. He told me that now the time was right to speak to Little Woman about him," Buck said.

"She has been waiting many years for you to ask about Standing Oak. I believe what you saw was real and not a dream," Red Bear said as he walked with Buck towards the tepee where is family stayed.

"Red Bear, where is my family?"

Red Bear pointed towards a group of running and laughing children. Had it not been for the color of Summer's hair, Buck would never have spotted her. She was wearing a traditional Kiowa dress and her hair was in two braids.

"Your daughter has become very popular with the other children. She has picked up on the language quite well."

"How did Danny get her to wear a dress?"

Red Bear laughed, "She told her she could get it dirty. Your son is with Little Woman. She is quite taken with the little one."

"Where is Danny?" Buck sheepishly asked, slightly lowering his sight.

"She is with the other women of the village at the creek, bathing. They should return shortly. My brother, if you are worried about Danny, you shouldn't be. She has spent her time learning to prepare hides for clothing, weaving baskets, and learning to sew the blankets." Red Bear laughed slightly, "Many of our young braves have tried to impress the golden haired woman, but she only thinks of her children and of you. You're a very lucky man Running Buck."

Buck looked up to see the women returning. The sight of Danny took his breath away. He had seen her work in pants, and he had seen how beautiful she was in a fancy dress; but nothing could have prepared Buck for how Danny looked as she walked up the path with Yellow Feather.

Danny was laughing at something Yellow Feather had said, and for the first time in a long time, Buck noticed her. She was wearing a deerskin dress with delicate decorations of beads and fringe that came just below her knees and she was barefoot. Her hair flowed loosely with a slight wave. She was beyond beautiful.

Danny looked up and saw Buck standing beside Red Bear. A chill went down her spine, wondering how her husband was. She had counted the days till his return, but seeing him standing there also filled her with trepidation too.

Red Bear handed Buck a blanket, "You've been away from your wife for too long, my brother. Go. We will watch the children while you talk."

Buck left Red Bear's side and walked towards his wife. Taking her hand in his, Buck looked into Danny's eyes, and said, "I missed you."

Danny looked at Buck and smiled, trying desperately to hold in her emotions, "Did you find the answers you were looking for?"

"Can we go for a walk?" Buck asked. Danny nodded her agreement.

They walked quietly down the path to the creek. Laying the soft blanket down and sitting under a giant bur oak tree, Buck broke the silence, "Danny, I saw my father."

"Oh, Buck, I'm so sorry," Danny said, not understanding his meaning yet.

Buck smiled and said, "No, Danny. I saw Standing Oak. He was my mother's husband and Red Bear's father. I knew of him, but he died when I was very young. He helped me see why I didn't trust myself. I need you to know why."

"Buck, you don't have to explain what you saw."

"Yes, I do. When Summer came to live with us, I was overjoyed. When you were pregnant, I was so excited; I couldn't wait to be a father to both of our children. But when you had complications, I wished that Ike had never been born," Buck tried to explain, but tears gathered in his eyes. Clearing his throat, he continued, "Please understand, that I never meant it, but the thought…knowing that I could wish something like that…I began to wonder if I was capable of being a good father or a good husband. I wondered if I would be like the man who raped my mother."

"Buck, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't understand it myself. I wanted to be with you and the children, and then I would become angry at myself, because I didn't feel that I deserved having you or Summer, and especially Ike. Standing Oak let me see that I am a good father and a good husband. He was my example, not my birth father. He told me that I make my own happiness. Danny, he loved me as if I was his own."

"Are you sure it was him…" Danny hoped that he had really seen Standing Oak.

"And not just a dream," Buck completed her question. Nodding at his wife, "Yes, I believe it was him. He told me to ask you something."

Danny raised her eyebrow, "Okay?"

"Danny, he told me…Danny, did Rose give you a name, an Indian name?"

"Yes, a week after I delivered Summer," Danny looked down, in solemn reflection. "She said that I was like a great protector, always looking out for her, giving up my daughter for her safety, and always being willing to die for their well being. She said that because I was willing to give so much, I deserved a great honor. It was something between the two of us. It was Rose's name for me."

Buck took Danny's face in his hands, "Please, Danny. What name?"

Seeing the urgency in her husband's eyes, she simply said, "Golden Eagle."

Buck smiled, trying to hold back his tears of joy, "'Your guide has been with you the whole time', that is what Standing Oak said to me. The spirits gave me the sign of the eagle on my first vision quest," he said. "Danny, you're my guide. The spirits sent you to me. You've been guiding me since the day we met."

"What?"

"You guided me to marriage through a letter; you led me to Summer, to Ike. You guided me here," Buck caressed his wife's face. "You told me that you wanted all of me, and that I'd know when I could give that to you. Danny, you have all of me. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Buck leaned in and kissed his wife, drawing her closer into an embrace. He laid her under the tree, and they made love as the cool afternoon breezed by. It was more pure and gentler than either of them had ever known; both of them giving in to all of their inhibitions, becoming one in both body and spirit.

Lying together in the afterglow, Buck gently stroked his wife's arm. "Danny, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Can we stay here, at the village for a few more days? I want to learn more about Standing Oak. I know that we need to get back to the ranch, but I don't think I'll see Little Woman again. I need to spend some time with her and learn from her."

Danny turned to face her husband, "Buck, this trip was to allow you to connect with your family. The Kiowa is your family just as much as we are. We can stay as long as we like. The ranch will still be there when we get back. Teaspoon can handle it just fine. Besides, I like spending time in the open air, instead of in a house all the time. Promise me that when we do go back, that we take more camping trips."

Buck laughed, "Alright, with the kids or by ourselves?"

"Both," Danny said with a smile. "We do need to get back to the village. Summer will notice that I'm gone. Usually, she doesn't like it when I go without her to wash up. This morning was the first time she let me go with the rest of the women. She's found a new friend," Danny said as she stood up and begin to get dressed.

Buck quickly got himself dressed and stood up facing Danny, "Will you do something else for me?"

"What?"

"When we get home, will you wear that dress every once in a while, just for me?" Buck raised his eyebrow in a way that always made Danny go weak in the knees and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Ah, you like seeing me in this, huh? Why Buck Cross, I believe you are trying to seduce me," Danny smiled and kissed her husband. As they released from their kiss, Buck took her hand to lead her back to the village.

Summer ran to meet them as they came into the clearing, "Mommy, I couldn't find yo…DADDY, you're back!" As Buck bent down to meet the little girl, she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and holding him tightly around his neck. "Oh, Daddy, I missed you. Red Bear taught me to rided on My Horse without a saddle. Can we go fishing? Daddy, I gots a new boyfriend. Can he go to?"

"Wait a minute. You got a new boyfriend. Just who is this young man?" Buck said trying to hold in his laughter.

"He's right over there. Daddy, can we stay here a little longer?" Summer asked still holding Buck's neck.

"Yes, we're going to stay for a few more days. Where is your brother?" he said as he put Summer down.

Grabbing Buck by the hand and dragging him to follow her, Summer said, "He's with great-grandmother. Come on, Daddy. She tells us stories."

Entering Little Woman's tepee, Buck saw his grandmother sitting in the far corner surrounded by several children of the village. She was holding Ike. The small boy looked up, and smiling, reached for his parents. Buck reached over the seated children and took Ike, kissing him on the cheek and holding him lovingly.

"Your spirit is well, Running Buck?" Little Woman asked.

"It is, now, grandmother. I saw Standing Oak. He told me to speak to you; that you would tell me the stories that I needed to hear," Buck said, still holding Ike.

Little Woman stood up, moving the children out of the way, and hugged her grandson.

Danny took Summer, Ike, and the rest of the children from the tepee, allowing Little Woman a chance to speak with Buck.

"My grandson, I have waited a long time for your return."

"Please, tell me about Standing Oak," Buck asked of his grandmother.

"Running Buck, Standing Oak loved your mother, White Petal dearly. They were very close. They wanted more children, but the spirits did not bless them with more than one, Red Bear. They argued one day, as all couples do, and White Petal wandered away. The white man took her.

Standing Oak found her, lying by the water. He brought her back to camp, and unlike some who would have turned her away, he held her and loved her. When they found out she was with child, White Petal became greatly troubled. Standing Oak asked the spirits, who told him that you would be a mighty son.

It did not matter that you were not his; you would see both the white man's world and Kiowa. You would be its greatest help. When you were born, he held a great feast, and honored White Petal for giving him two sons."

Buck smiled as learned more about the man he had seen in his vision.

Buck and Danny spent another three weeks with the Kiowa. Every day, Little Woman would tell Buck more about Standing Oak. Red Bear would sometimes come into the tepee and tell Buck things that he remembered about his father.

The day finally came for them to leave the village. The Kiowa were beginning to break camp to move on. Buck hugged Red Bear, not knowing when he would see him again. It was hardest leaving Little Woman. Buck and Danny both knew that she was old and didn't have much time left. Little Woman gave her grandson a handmade lattice cradle.

"This was the cradle your mother made for you. Your son is too big for it now, but your new child will need it," Little Woman kissed her grandson one last time.

"My new child?" Buck asked.

Little Woman smiled as she first looked at Danny, and then Buck, and said, "You will see. Be happy Running Buck."

It was a good trip home. Buck and Danny took over three days to return to Rock Creek, enjoying the two children as they traveled. Before they arrived at the ranch, Danny felt queasy, suddenly asking Buck to stop the wagon. Quickly, getting down, Danny threw up in the grass. Buck put on the brake and asked Summer to watch Ike for a moment.

"Danny, are you alright?" Buck asked placing his arm on Danny's back in support.

Sitting down for a moment, Danny looked at Buck with worry, "I'm pregnant, aren't I?"

Buck smiled, "Maybe. Don't worry, sweetheart. We're going to be fine this time. Trust me." He took Danny in his arms and hugged her tightly.

Eight months later, Hunter William Cross made his presence known to the world. Buck smiled as he placed his newborn son into the cradle that White Petal had made for him.

Buck sat in front of the fireplace, with Summer sitting on one knee and Ike on the other. Danny had written all of the stories down that Little Woman had told Buck, and placed them in a book. He would now spend his evenings reading to his children until they would fall asleep.

The End