A/N: Inspired by the Matchbox 20 song, 'I can't let you go.'

Topside

"Come on you daft prince," Deryn hissed, grabbing his hand and leading him out of his state room.

"If Volger finds out about this he'll be most cross," Alek muttered in return. "Not to mention any crewman's shock upon seeing us." She paused and looked back to see him looking pointedly at their hands, entwined in a way most unbecoming for a prince and an airman—not that Deryn was an airman, but that wasn't something others needed to know at this point.

"At this hour only a few people are posted—lookouts and whatnot," Deryn explained, tugging him again in the direction that would lead them to the ratlines and the top of the great beast's topside. "I already checked it out. No one's hardly up there. Too cold."

Alek found himself smirking a bit, allowing himself to be led by his best friend. His best friend… in a new way now, but their friendship was never stronger. Now that he knew her big secret, if anything, they were closer, and he saw a side of her that she wasn't able to show most people.

She didn't have that swagger like she did around her peers; it was more of a refined agility, a feminine grace that pervaded her steps and swung her hips. Alek swallowed nervously and licked his lips. It wasn't just her body or the way she moved though. Even though he had taken a great notice to those things.

It was a certain look in her eyes—not that the look was new, per se. He had just never recognized it before. He'd seen it in the way she looked at him early on—not with the panic of an enemy, but the panic of a male enemy her own age.

The odd looks as he grew accustomed to the ship. The mirth that danced in her eyes when he stumbled and messed up—not a mocking glint as he had thought, but actual amusement and an odd sort of affection. The look of jealousy in Istanbul, and later the look of pleading for him to return to the ship—looks he had mistaken as mistrust and obligation to her captain at the time.

Really he could go on for hours about the looks he had misread, and the looks in her eyes that he didn't miss now that he knew what to look for—especially now that he had started to give her his own looks.

"Looks all clear still," Deryn muttered, looking about cautiously. The watchers were occupied inside, worried more about staying warm than an enemy attack. No small wonder, that, since they'd be back in Britain in just a few days. Floating in friendly air had given everyone on board a much needed reprieve after all the hectic the great ship and her crew had been through.

She stretched her arms into the air as the gentle winds of the topside whipped pass them. Alek watched her carefully as she reclined back on the airbeast's tickly flesh, letting out a sigh of contentment as she did so. The wind ruffled her shaggy hair and her eyes sparkled with a certain joy that Alek couldn't understand to this day.

Something about being in the air made her so happy…

…and it broke his heart to know it would soon come to an end.

He sat down next to her as she gazed up at the stars, simply reveling in the crisp night air and twinkling lights that gave the only illumination on this moonless night.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked after a long moment, although considering where she had brought him it seemed pretty obvious.

"The ship," she answered predictably, patting the skin of the beastie beneath her. "I'm going to miss being up here."

"I imagine so."

They lapsed into silence again, each lost in their own thoughts as they enjoyed each other's company. It was hard for them to simply relax together like this without worrying about someone giving them an odd look. After coming so close to having her secret found out by the world they were sure to be careful so as not to spoil her last days onboard.

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a moment. She opened her eyes to peek over at him as he stared off ahead, refusing to turn and meet her look.

"It's hardly your fault," she said simply. "I'm lucky I was able to serve and leave without causing a ruckus."

"Still I just feel like maybe I could have…" he trailed off uncertainly, clenching his fists in aggravation.

"Daft prince," she muttered. "You can't worry about something you can't help. Besides don't you think I feel bad enough for the both of us?" Alek grimaced at that, her words doing nothing to help him calm down. Already he found himself wracking his brain for a solution.

He wanted to make her happy.

"If only I could—."

"—Lay down," she commanded, cutting him off and causing him to turn and give her a questioning look. She gazed back at him evenly, waiting for him to do as she had said. After a moment he sighed and laid back cautiously. He looked up at the sky a moment before flailing his arms.

"Gah!"

"Barking spiders! What are you doing?" she yelped as he nearly swatted her. He jerked into a sitting position, covering his face with his hands.

"It felt like I was falling off the side when I was looking up," he explained, only to hear her bark a laugh. He turned to glare back at her, but found his anger melt away at her gentle smile and tussled hair.

"Lie back down, but look at me instead," she suggested quietly. "Don't need you getting dizzy and trying to roll off the side."

As if looking at her would help him calm down.

He followed her suggestion, despite his misgivings. Cautiously he lowered himself back down, careful not to stare up at the stars this time. It really had felt like falling—like the earth beneath him tilted and was about to cast him off into an endless space.

"Not so bad, now is it?" she asked as he settled in with his hands behind his head. He stared back at her and shrugged a bit.

"It's a better view." A light blush trickled across the young girl's cheeks at that, but he was sure she would just dismiss it as an effect of the crisp air. He turned his eyes from hers for just a moment to glance up at the stars, but quickly looked away as the ground started to spin funny.

"I just can't picture you anywhere but here," he whispered, observing her sharp features as she gazed up at the sky, refusing to look back at him after his last comment.

"Neither can I," she answered honestly. "But I'll do what I have to. And I wouldn't just give this all up…"

"But isn't that what you're doing by taking up Doctor Barlow's offer?" he countered, wondering again at her ability to leave a place she looked so perfect in.

"I'm giving this up, aye," she agreed. "But I'm getting something in return; otherwise I wouldn't have taken up the offer."

"I highly doubt the good doctor can give you anything to compensate for being up here," he scoffed, not believing for a second there was any kind of equal trade going on between the two.

"She's not giving me anything, no," she agreed again.

"So then what…?"

"You, you daft prince," she laughed. "I never thought a lousy boy would help get me off this thing, but I guess I was wrong." She turned to glare at him. "But don't take that as your fault. If anything you're saving me from getting myself into trouble later." She let out another laugh and shook her head, disbelieving the sway he held over her.

"You make it seem like my fault, I have to admit," he grimaced.

"Don't be daft," she scoffed softly, gaze lingering on the few drifting clouds above them. He reached out a hesitant hand to brush his fingers down her jaw, to her soft lips. She looked over at him in surprise, both suddenly highly conscientious of the other's proximity.

"I will make you as happy as you can be," he promised quietly. "And I really am sorry you have to give this up."

"Alek—."

He didn't let her finish as he leaned over, closing the distance between them, to press his lips against hers. He hovered over her as he broke away, arm draped over her body as his fingers continued to gently stroke her cheek.

His eyes were dark, cast in shadows, as hers glimmered in the dim light, a slight frown set on both their lips. Alek leaned his head towards hers, brushing her lips for only a moment before resting his forehead on hers. They lay there like that, eyes closed gently, listening to the sound of the wind swirling about them, their soft breathing accompanying the shifting of the air.

Deryn shivered as his body heat radiated down on her, shielding her from the crisp winds. For a brief and wild moment she considered the possibility of staying up here with him all night, every night. How easy would it be to spend every night in his arms like this, though? On the ground or in the air.

"Someone up here?" a voice called out into the darkness, causing Deryn and Alek to both jump apart and sit up so quickly it made their heads spin.

"Newkirk?" Deryn hollered into the wind questioningly, her voice notably deeper, though still boyish at best.

"Oh is that you, Dylan?" Newkirk asked, approaching them. "And Prince Aleksander?" His voice had dropped to a confused note at that as he observed them sitting there together; seemingly not doing anything that required them to be up here in the first place.

"I didn't know you were on patrol tonight," Deryn responded, ignoring the silent question.

"Yeah, just checking things out," he nodded easily. "What are you two—?"

"We had better get going, Dylan," Alek spoke up at last, standing and offering her a hand up. "We still need to check on that thing downstairs for Doctor Barlow." Deryn quickly picked up on the lie, nodding in agreement and following him as he started to walk off.

"Sorry for the disturbance, Newkirk, just running errands as usual," she called back to the confused middie. To his credit, he shrugged and continued his patrol, letting the two escape back into the ship without another word or question.

"Blisters, that was close," she sighed, following behind Alek as they walked back to his room.

"I have the oddest feeling that Newkirk would've been rather understanding," Alek said in response. "He seems like the type. I'm surprised you didn't fall for him." Deryn snorted at that.

"He's a fine fellow, but hardly worth having a wee crush on," she answered, before amending, "He's a good friend, though."

They arrived at Alek's room and he pushed the door open, taking a step inside before turning to Deryn and offering his hand. She looked at it questioningly for a moment before looking up and down the corridor and placing her hand on top of his. He wrapped his fingers around her hand and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Stay with me tonight," he whispered. "It might be the last chance we get up here." Deryn bit down on her lower lip a moment, thinking about his offer. He was probably right—they'd never have the chance to be together on the airbeast again if docking was going to be as busy as she was suspecting.

"Aye," she agreed, following him inside and closing—and locking—the door firmly behind them.