Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Summary: Yeah, it's about LoTR people in modern times (cliché, I know!). But I just wanted to try it. Legolas and Aragorn come to my house via a very weird way, but hopefully you won't care about that.
So I'm alone, at night, at my house. My brother's at a friend's house, and my parents went shopping, and it's around eight o'clock. About an hour ago it got really dark outside, even though Mr. Dependable Weatherman called for clear skies tonight. "There goes my bike ride," I think as I plop down on the couch. I hadn't watched The Fellowship of the Ring in a while, so I stick the disc in the DVD player, and now, an hour later, after a little fast-forwarding, the Council of Elrond has just started (my favorite part!). I'm munching popcorn and saying the lines along with the movie, something I'm allowed to do only when no one else's watching with me.
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?" I declare along with Legolas. "The ring must be destroyed!" My small black Pomeranian, Dolly, barks at me in agreement, and I give her a popcorn kernel for being cute. I turn my attention back to the screen, and now, Frodo is proclaiming he will take the ring, the Fellowship is formed, the music crescendos, as does my heart. Love that scene!
After I return from the kitchen with a fresh Mountain Dew, I can tell the weather's getting worse. I better go put the big dogs in the shed. I head outside, dodging the raindrops, and herd our family's two black Labradors into the shed in the backyard, shut the door, and run back to the house. I return just in time to see the Fellowship leave Lothlorien, a very nice little scene, too. I crack open the pop can and take a swig, feeling the pure caffeine rejuvenating my tired body. I stroke Dolly, who's sleeping now, and watch the boats float down the river.
Ah, the Battle of Amon Hen, the best fight scene in the movie. Who can't love Pippin and Merry throwing rocks at Uruk-Hai, Boromir defending them, and Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli fighting in their "oh-so-cool" style?
CRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKPOW!
After a brief, illuminating flash of lightning and a deafening thunderclap, my entire house goes dark, including (duh) the television. Yet, a faint glow surrounds it, an eerie, greenish halo. I gasp as I see two dark figures huddled in front of the coffee table, and I jump up and hide behind the couch (what would you do in a situation like that?) Of course, by now, Dolly's barking like crazy, her fluffy little body popping up and down on the couch. I run to the light switch, flick it up and down a few times, then I go to retrieve a flashlight from the next room. I switch it on and turn it to the two figures.
"Holy crap," I mutter under my breath, quoting the awesome Strong Bad. This is-I mean-it's impos-who the-WHAT'S GOING ON?
The two figures stand up, way taller than my petite frame, and I realize I'm blinding them with the light. I move it away from their faces and look at their clothing. Every piece is perfect, even mud-stained and a little ripped. I then hope that this has something to do with something I consumed that day.
"What is going on? Why is it so dark?" said the one, with the perfect voice of Aragorn.
"Never mind that; where are we?"
I decide to answer, better to let them know I'm a human than to be mistaken for an orc and shot. "You are in my house," I say. I then have to say the dumbest thing in the world. "You're Legolas and Aragorn, aren't you?"
They seem surprised, and then start whispering in Elvish. Dolly quietly growls at them, least they make a move towards her now-claimed bowl of popcorn.
"How did you know our names?" asks Legolas at last. At that, the power comes back on, and I can see them under the glow of fluorescence. They seem shocked to see me, though they shock is no less on my part.
I can't say "You're in the movie, doofus,". Uh, think, think! "I um, read a, uh, history about you once!" (Not really a lie; I've read the books like five times.) I move to the front of the couch. "Look, I don't really know how you got here, but, uh, I'll try to be as calm as possible, and help you get back to where you were." Hello! Orlando Bloom character in your house and you want to send him back!
Aragorn takes a look around the living room. He walks over and touches the lamp, then the CD player, and turns and stares at the television. "We're obviously in a very strange place, Legolas," he mutters.
"It's not strange," I protest. "You just don't know where you are! Look, I was just sitting here, on the couch, during a thunderstorm, and the electricity went out, and then you were here in my living room!" The raindrops keep slapping the windows, though they have quite lessened. "Look, where were you before you got here?"
The two are quickly alarmed. "We have to defend Frodo!" Legolas cries, panicking in a way I guess Elves panic.
"He's fine," I say, knowing the story's outcome. They both give me an odd look. "I mean, I guess, uh, I'm trying to be optimistic! What's a 'Frodo' anyways?"
"We were sent to defend Frodo Baggins, a Hobbit, and we were being attack by Uruk-Hai at Amon Hen, and all of a sudden, we were here. We had just heard the horn of Gondor being blown, and we were going to help Boromir and…" Aragorn trailed off. He frowned at me and became wary. "Are you a spy of Saruman or Sauron? Trickery like this is usually of evil-making."
"Dude, I am not evil. Look, I even know how everything turns out."
"Dude?" asked Legolas, repeating the strange word. I have to laugh at that, seeing an Elf speaking English slang.
"Look, your, quest, was written in history books," I say, trying not to make it so they could understand. "And I have read the story. Frodo has an evil ring, and a Fellowship protect him and then go their separate ways and eventually the ring is destroyed and everything returns to good." I know then I have said too much.
"The ring is destroyed?" Aragorn asks. "It's in a history book?"
"Yeah," I say, trying to sound convincing. "And neither of you get killed." Perhaps I should let them sit down. Perhaps I should show them Tolkien's books I have in my bedroom. No, not that. Perhaps I should just keep trying to be calm and retrieve Dolly, who is now attacking their legs with her idle threats.