Affection

Chapter 1: Take three

Writer's Note: you love me, you know it. Oh by the way, every chapter I'll post songs I was listening to while I wrote it. Not necessarily to put you in the mood; just let you know what helped create my insanity! (El Tango De Roxanne; Sparkling Diamonds; I'll Fly Away- Moulin Rouge Soundtrack). P.S. these chapters are fairly short, I wanted a quality story which I feel is better achieved with shorter chapters (that and I'd be able to post more if I didn't give myself a 5 page minimum to meet) so the story-line is going to be going slower, but I SWEAR this is the last re-vamp!

There was a definite thunk against my bedroom wall. I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. Thunk. Again. Now I was awake, not happy, but awake. I stared from the clock on my bedside table (it was 2:30??) to the wall for a moment, trying to remember what was on the other side.

Thunk. Again. That's when it hit me, that was Riku's room. I sat up, pulling my blanket around me and stared at the blank wall.

He was having a nightmare again, it had been happening for the past three years (at least I was aware of it for the past three years). And I would bet all the munny I had it was the same dream.

I made him tell me about it once, when we first moved in together. When he lay there tossing and mumbling darkly to himself until finally, he woke himself up screaming, I didn't know what to do. I use to try to go wake him up before it got to that critical point, but that just seemed to make things worst between us.

I don't think Riku ever forgave himself for that time he lost his hold in the light. I can see it, some days, when one incident or another reminds us of our pasts.

Those dreams he has, I think they made him feel ashamed. A constant reminder that he had been part of the poison, a constant fear that he could return to that side. That's why he doesn't like for any of us to see him like that, that's why he stops talking to me for a few days if I go in there to wake him up.

Over the past year, I've come up with a clever way around his social stigmatism. I poked at the black fur-ball next to me. "Yuffie, wake up."

The kitten roused with an annoyed "mrow?" and blinked sleepily at me. I offered her a smile, scooting her to the edge of the bed, "go help Riku, wake him up."

She exited the room with a flick of her wickedly long tail. I couldn't help but smile, I loved my psychotic ninja kitty.

I leaned against the wall, pressing myself as close to Riku as he'd allow me to be right now; and listened. Yuffie and I had been doing this so long, we knew what was coming next.

She had crawled onto his bed, snuggling under his blanket against his naked chest. She purred lowly, offering him a chance to wake to a comforting sound instead of the way we both knew it would go down.

Riku started mumbling louder now, the words clear through my wall. No,Sora no.

Yuffie pawed gently at his cheek, adding in her own vocal "mew!" to try and rouse him.

No Sora, please don't! This isn't me, you know this isn't me!

He's thrashing by this point, arms flailing as if he's trying to escape some horrible fate.

Now Yuffie was on her last resort. She extended her claws, flexing them against his chest, and dug in.

NO! Came the final cry as Riku sat up. I could hear his heavy breath through the wall. Now he'd be looking around his room, checking for shadows darker than they should be.

"Good morning to you too Yuffie," he said affectionately, an edge still in his voice. Now he'd be scratching her under her chin, her reward for doing my dirty work.

Count to three Sora, and then lay back down. Riku would be coming around the corner to see if his panicked night woke me up. I'd feign loud snoring and in the morning, neither one of us would acknowledge we knew the others secret.

He settled Yuffie back onto my bed; she curled up gratefully under my chin. I lay as still as I could manage and hoped my snoring was convincing.

I heard Riku sigh, "Sora you are a bad actor," he commented dryly.

Damn. I've been caught! I cracked open one eye to see him sitting on the edge of my bed, a weary smile directed my way. I sent back my own sheepish grin. "Good morning sunshine?"

Riku sighed again, rolling his eyes before plopping over on my bed. "Thanks Sora, I don't know what I would do without you." Then he proceeded to pilfer half of my blanket. "G'night."

I stared, puzzled, at his backside. "Scuse me?" I poked his shoulder, "Riku, your room is that-a-way."

He turned over, no trace of amusement on his face. "But my sheets are all rumpled and by the time I straighten them I'd be fully awake."

Well, I couldn't argue with his logic. Riku was a stickler for having everything straight and orderly. Now he sat up, his eyes concerend (fearful?), "You don't mind do you? I know we're a little old for sleep overs it's just..." he trailed off; neither one of us would ever admit what we secretly knew.

We both slept better when the other was this much nearer. Some part of us kept expecting to wake up to find the other was lost to a nightmare from years ago.

I smiled at him, "Don't be stupid; you're never too old for a sleepover!"

So we hunkered down to salvage what little rest we could. Me pressed against the wall, Yuffie curled under my chin with her tail curled around Riku's shoulder, and Riku with his back turned to me.

I wondered briefly what life would have been like if Kingdom Hearts had never intervened. Would we be dead now? Out on our raft that, by this point in time, would be nothing but drift wood? Would we really have managed to sail to other worlds, just the three of us? Who knew, it's too early to ponder "what if" scenarios.

Time for sleep now, tomorrow I'd have to smile extra bright for Riku.