Stupidity

It always has to happen to me. I always have to be the one to be scolded, to be rushed, to always have to do everything just right. I can never do anything right. And why's that? Well, because my right isn't always right. It's always their wrong. And because of this, my life has been a living hell ever since I was born and left in this world with no family. No friends.

Well, that is, until I turned seven or so. Up till then I hadn't had any friends or any friendly contact with anyone, truthfully. I was always either being beaten or chased down the dark, midnight-filled alleys, hateful words being spat my way. It's not like they knew any better-they were all just scared. Confused. They had no clue what was really going on.

So you could tell that I was a little shocked when someone had actually smiled at me when I walked by them. And you might be wondering-if you even care- who that someone was. He just so happens to be my raven-haired best friend, Uchiha Sasuke. Yes, my first friend happened to be my best friend. And I have a feeling that if I hadn't been so stupid, we might have been friends sooner.

At first, our friendship was very…confusing, to say the least. We fought more than we played, and we glared more than we talked. Sasuke never really spoke much, anyway, and whenever I did, he'd just call me stupid, too. But I knew he didn't mean it, or else he wouldn't even give me the time of day to play with me. Then again, Sasuke didn't have anyone else, either. Maybe that's why we're friends-we were both neglected when we were younger.

But not in the same scenario, not even close. He actually had a family, parents and a brother. An entire clan, actually, and their own estate. That all ended when his elder brother, Itachi, went on a mass massacre of their clan, leaving only Sasuke alive. But even when his family was still up and living, his father never thought highly of him, and his brother could barely give him the light of day, after becoming a high-ranked Jounin. His mother was a very kind woman, though. I bet he misses them…

Though that's beside my point. My point is that I finally had a friend who at least sort of understood my pain. Sasuke didn't know anything about the Kyuubi sealed inside of me, and I wanted to keep it that way. That's the reason all the villagers hated me, anyway, even if I myself wasn't the demon fox. They only saw me.

Then came our days at the academy. That's when Sasuke and I had stopped being so…kind, I suppose is the word, to each other and started competing in almost everything. I mean, it was a full-fledged rivalry between us. Though Sasuke was the top of our class, I was determined as hell to beat him. And yet he always succeeded. What were the odds of that?!

Although, I was pretty stupid back then, too. It took me three times to pass our final test at the academy to become a ninja, but I did it. How? When I was stupid enough to let Mizuki talk me into stealing the sacred scroll from the Hokage so I could learn a bunch of new Jutsu.

I guess something positive came out of that, though. That's how I learned my Kage Bushin no Jutsu, my ultimate and most-used technique. Which, sadly, also shows how stupid I really am, because my only other main technique now is rasengan. It's not like I'm upset about that, but I just feel so…inferior. But I'll get to that later.

So anyway, after I passed that test, stupidly, if I haven't already mentioned, we were placed into teams. And I just so happened to be placed on the same team as Sasuke…and Sakura. Sakura was my other friend, sort of, and one of the many Sasuke-fan-girls, as I like to call them. You know, those girls who just go gaga over some guy and won't stop chasing after them like a sick little puppy? Yeah, that was definitely Sakura. But it wasn't like she was dumb or anything-She was right behind Sasuke in our class, metaphorically AND physically. So she had the brains, and the looks, if I may say so myself. Sure, she had a big forehead. That usually means that the person's smart, so I don't see why she gets so offended by it!

But anyway, I'm getting off topic again. Another completely stupid thing that I did that day was decide to glare at Sasuke, and by that I mean crouch down on top of his desk and full-on GLARE at him from maybe…two inches away from his face. Totally smart, right? So of course some kid behind me had to 'accidentally' bump into me and…I sorta lost my balance…and Sasuke and I ended up kissing. But we pulled away right away!!! It was just kind of…fast. Sudden. Strange. Enticing.

…Moving on…

So it was a little bit more than awkward when I had to be placed on a team with the both of them, a fawning Sasuke fan-girl and the emo avenger. Oh, did I mention Sasuke was planning on avenging his clan by killing Itachi? Because he is.

Our sensei just happened to be Hatake Kakashi, the son of the White Fang of Konoha, whoever he is. I never really paid much attention in the Academy anyway, as you can all tell by my stupidity, as usual. He gave us our first task, which was to retrieve these bells from his pants-no, not like that, you perverts- which was way harder that I thought. Of course, being so stupid, I decided to both attack him head-on and before he even said 'go'. Which pissed Sakura off even more than usual-my stupidity ticks her off, apparently-, and left Sasuke internally brooding. How, I don't know. Well, I do, because I just know him. I just have no clue how to explain how I know. But either way, I was already on my team's bad side, and since I was so stupid the entire time, I ended up losing my lunch and being tied up to a training log. All the while, I was forced to watch Sasuke and Sakura eat their lunches in front of me! It was TORTURE!!! But Sasuke was nice enough to give me his lunch, as did Sakura, and feed me! But I was being stupid, as well, seeing as I had sort of begged them for it, and got us all caught. Lucky for us, Sasuke had used Kakashi's own words against him-We are a team and we have to work like a team to function properly. So, we passed, barely, but we passed.

Basically, most of our missions were the same-passing, but barely. I have a feeling that if someone else, like, say, Shikamaru, or someone, had been placed along team 7 instead of me, they would have been much better off. But we did spend some great times together whenever we went out on missions! Especially on one…where, also because of my stupidity, Sasuke practically died for me. That was also the day that I was stupid enough to realize that I was possibly in love with my best friend. Yeah, I know, it was crazy, impossible, wrong, weird, and among things most people frowned upon, just because we were both boys. But it's not like anyone but myself had to know my feelings for him, so that's just what I did. And although that seems smart, it wasn't. At all.

Either way, at one point Kakashi-sensei thought we were prepared enough to participate in the Chuunin exams with all the other teams from the academy. It was pretty challenging, and for once I wasn't the only one who thought so! The written portion was just confusing as hell, but with some of the brain that I just barely have, I was able to understand that I was supposed to cheat to pass. How that works…I don't know. If everyone was just cheating off of each other…but then the next part was just as difficult, if not even more. We had to go into The Forest Of Death with one scroll and come out with another scroll that paired up with our own. There were only two kinds of scrolls, so it wasn't too hard. But I was stupid enough to get in the way and Sasuke ended up getting bitten by this weird snake guy. It left this sort of mark or seal on the left side of his neck, and I was really worried. He wouldn't tell me anything, though. I just knew that he was acting different, and from a few scenarios that happened while we were in there, it was making him stronger. I guess that's what he always wanted, anyway, so I couldn't say much. The last part we had to wait an entire month for, so we could get busy and train for it. They were the final battles which concluded who would and who wouldn't become a Chuunin. I would have trained under Kakashi, but he was too busy training Sasuke. So, I ended up going under the Pervy Sage's guidance, and from him I learned many things. Nothing being valuable to the Chuunin exams, though. He was just really perverted.

I was the first to go up in the final round, Neji being my opponent. Somehow, I won, but he wasn't too happy about it. Sasuke was supposed to go next, but he was really, really late. I'm not sure why, but he looked really different-scaling a 9.5 on the emo scale now instead of a 7. Good job, teme, good job. Black really pulled it off. He faced Gaara, but things began to get out of hand, and the man who had bit Sasuke, Orochimaru, had been hiding himself as the Kazekage, and began this huge ambush over Konoha. Apparently the sand village was in cahoots with Orochimaru, so Sasuke and I had gone after Gaara and his sand siblings. Being so stupid still, Sakura ended up getting hurt, as did Sasuke, but we made it out alright.

I've done a lot of stupid things in the past, haven't I? If you wanted to put my life in a nutshell, it was pretty stupid. Not to mention everything that happened after that, how Sasuke and I began to fight more and more often, and then the day that he finally left. That's right, he just completely up and left Konoha. Of course I went after him, with a few of my friends, and I almost had him. But again, I was stupid enough to let one of his snotty comments get to me and when I had to chance to hit him right in the chest with my rasengan…I aimed for his head band. Why? Because he had proposed that I wouldn't be able to make a scratch on his forehead. Well, I did it. And what did I get? Or more, what did I NOT get? My best friend. Gone. With only his head band behind.

Why had I been so stupid?! I could have had him, I could have stopped him, and he could still be here…in Konoha…with me…but I was too stupid to have done anything different. And now it's too late. He's killed Orochimaru and his brother, and he's still not coming back to Konoha! We've met countless times because I've gone to Orochimaru's lair and I hunted him down! But I had been stupid again and let him slip right through my fingers, just like last time.

I just wish…that maybe I could bring him back. I'm already determined as hell to bring him back, but I just don't know if I can now…seeing all the stupid things I've done in the past. But everyone makes mistakes, don't they? Everyone's done something stupid in their lives. But has anyone been so stupid as to let the love of their life just walk away like that…?

Yes…I'll openly admit it. I loved Sasuke, both as a best friend, a brother, and a person, as a man would love a woman. But Sasuke was not a woman, and neither was I. Was there really something wrong with that? It's just love, after all. It's the only thing I have left…

Although…when you think about it…if it weren't for all the stupid things that I had done, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have been part of team seven, I might not have become a ninja, I wouldn't have met and fallen in love with Sasuke, and I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. So…maybe…just maybe…it's a good thing that I'm stupid. Because, surely, my stupidity will count for something someday.

And also, I'm sure that I'll bring Sasuke back to Konoha, back to me, stupidity or not.