Title: There Is Still Time To Back Out…..
Author: VeryBusy
Characters: Mara
Settings: UNION Comics
Disclaimer: This is not written in order to make any money with it. I do not own anything belonging into the Star Wars Universe.
Notes: Written for the Simpsons' Quote Roulette Challenge at TF.N
My quote: "I'm telling ya, all a man needs is an idea." -Herb Powell
There is still time to back out, isn't there?
All I would have to do is fling the Jedi tunic - that I do not know where to put exactly anyway - over the next chair, redress with my jumpsuit and the leather jacket and call for an air cab to take me to the space port.
I could com Karrde and ask him to send a shuttle that takes me to the Wild Karrde or straight to the Starry Ice and from there I could head out together with Faughn in order to finalize the deal with this Correllian Company they mentioned yesterday.
Just one call and I'd have my old life back, wouldn't I?
Don't ask me where this thought came from right now. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands lately. If I'd known that I end up like this, I'd never agreed on having the ceremony at 1100 this morning. I would have insisted on 0800 instead.
There is no time to back out anymore, even if there are still two hours left until I will give my official commitment to him and to our Jedi bond. There never had been such a time, at least not after I decided to let the Fire crash into the Fortress.
Come on, no one, who knows me at least a little bit, would dare to suggest that I had wished for that Force Bond between me and him to happen, ever.
It just did, there was no way to avoid it and by recognizing his feelings for me and experiencing him being aware of my love for him the path was changed forever.
Tell me, had there been any possibility to just return to Karrde's organization and just claiming nothing has happened while knowing that he knows that I know ….. No way!
Maybe if the Force Bond had not happened?
But then we had not survived anyway! And even if we had … Sure, I won't admit it to anybody, this is just for me, but I guess he captured my heart a long time ago anyway and I don't think that I'd like the thought that I'd still had to figure out how to make my feelings known without losing my dignity.
I'm glad it happened though!
On the other hand, why did we have to make this official right away?
Couldn't I have turned his proposal down telling him that we might try a normal relationship first? Dating, seeing that we adjust both our working schedules so that we are sure we have time for each other, deciding on a place where we both feel comfortable to life, moving in…. just some time in order to find out if it works?
Do you feel that, when thinking back, there was another option after all?
I believe, I wouldn't be honest with myself if I'd said I had had any other choice than saying "YES"!
He knew I wanted this even before he asked and he had known that the only reason for me to avoid the inevitable answer had been the fear to let him into my life completely. …. And this is nothing I will ever be afraid about, not after feeling his presence in my heart and in my soul.
It had been plain stupid to say anything else than "Yes, I will"
Maybe if he hadn't asked?
If he hadn't asked we would probably be in the same situation as we were in if the Force Bond hadn't happened. Or even worse … I had felt that I had to do something because he knew, but if you know me, you are aware that expressing my feelings is not my strongest point.
Or he had tried to express his feelings in any other way and I had not known how to deal with this… or… Okay, I don't want to think about it right now, I strongly believe proposing at exactly that point was one of the better ideas he had in his life!
I will probably rather bite my tongue before admitting this to anyone else, but let me rephrase this:
This was surely the best idea he ever had!
I am really glad that nobody knows how silly I can be at times – okay, he knows, but he knows better than to comment on this – it is rather comforting that I can feel that he is nervous as well at the moment. Even if he has not half as much trouble than I have when it comes to getting dressed in this robe.
…And I think it was really a good idea that, together with Corran and Kam, he came up with the idea to have a separate Jedi Ceremony before the official wedding is going to take place.
Don't get me wrong, it is not because of the public, it is not about people who might have difficulties to understand our Jedi bond, for me it is just that I want to have this finalized and officially signed as soon as possible.
There is no way to back out!
I want this and with this it will be clear that this is going to be forever, no matter how the official wedding goes! I am glad we saved some days this way.
Just another hour to go; right now I only have one wish left, let this fiancée of mine have another good idea – I mean, let him figure that waiting while being totally on my own is going to drive me nuts – and let him find an excuse to come and see me before the ceremony is going to start.
fin