Well, this one will hopefully be a vast improvement upon my If You Buy a Jaffa Slippers then He'll want…. However, I don't know yet, heck I'm not even sure what the plot'll be at the point that I'm writing this author's note.

Also, I don't own anything.

Legato with vengeance

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^-^ This has incurred the Uozumi stamp of approval for keeping everyone in character, and promising to be my little brother's best fic yet! ^-^

^o^ So enjoy! ^o^

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Can There Ever Be Such a Thing as an Unusual Day at the SGC?

Chapter One

"NO! AND THAT'S FINAL!" Colonel Jack O'Neill shouted at the entirety of his Stargate team as they walked down the desolate halls of the SGC.

"Listen, Jack, we've just spent two weeks on another planet. I mean this could be their form of the plague for all we know," Daniel Jackson countered as Jack let out a large sneeze, spitting a bit of pink gel out of his mouth.

"I agree with Daniel Jackson, you are not suffering from a normal earth bound cold. These are signs of something foreign," the tall Jaffa, Teal'c, looked over at Jack attempting to steer the group towards the med. ward.

"This. Is. Just. A. Little. Cold!" Jack walked in the opposite direction Teal'c was attempting to make him go in. Trying to make a brake for the elevators on the opposite wall, Jack ran, shouting just before he pressed the door close button, "Just forget about it, ok? And, that's an order!"

"Should we just let him go like that?" Samantha Carter looked over at Daniel who had run into the door just after Jack had closed it.

"There is not much that we can do now that he is outside the SGC," Teal'c turned away from the door, bending over apparently tying his shoelace.

***

Daniel sat down in front of his television set, having arrived home at eleven after spending nearly two weeks cramped in a prison cell. It was time to catch up on the latest events in the local news.

"This special report just in," the television announcer looked over his shoulder at a television that eventually covered Daniel's entire screen. "The man seen here," on the screen a man in his boxers walked tightrope-style across the main arch of a gladis work bridge. "This man now known to be Air Force Colonel Jack O'Neill stationed at the nearby Cheyenne Mt. has been arrested on charges of disorderly conduct. Apparently, 'although,' the officer that apprehended Colonel Jack O'Neill, 'he was obviously under the influence of the alcohol or drugs, his tests came up negative for both.'

"You know Bernie," the announcer started to gabber at his co-host when Daniel slowly pressed the power button, starring in shock.

"Jack, you idiot!" Daniel threw the television remote down on the floor, strode across the room, and picked up the telephone. "Hello, yes, um… I'm trying to call a Samantha…. NO! I am not trying to stalk anybody…. Yes her name is Samantha Carter, sure I'll hold…." Daniel tapped his foot thinking about how much he hatted to use the directory service.

"Carter, hey, have you seen the Channel Nine news today?" Daniel waited impatiently as Sam flipped through the channels on her TV. Holding the receiver a couple of inches from his head for a second he spoke into it again after he was sure she wasn't going to scream or deafen him in some other form, "Yeah, I think we should call… Um…General Hammond wouldn't be on duty would he…? Well I guess we should get Teal'c and go over there… Umm yeah, I'll be waiting… Bye." Daniel slammed down the receiver.

"Jack! You idiot!" that said, Daniel stormed down the stairs and out of his apartment.

Walking down the sidewalk, Daniel cursed his luck at having let Jack drive, then wreck his car. Why, oh why of all the times for Jack to flip off the handle did it have to be when Daniel didn't have his car? After an hour or so of walking, Daniel could almost see the police office when something reached out from behind him and pulled him into an alley just as a cop car went by on the street.

"Jack, what the hell!" Daniel turned around finding his fully clothed commanding officer crouching behind the garbage can.

"Keep it down, Space Monkey," Jack pulled him down behind the garbage can as well. "I've been arrested on phony charges I –" Jack got cutoff by Daniel.

"Jack! You walked on top of a bridge in your underwear! Of course, their going to arrest you! I mean, you could have slipped and caused a wreck! In addition, you're with the Air Force you're set to higher –"

This time, Jack interrupted Daniel, "Space Monkey, just forget that, and think of it this way: I chose you out of all of SG-1 to come and live with me on the lamb. We're going to go all over the place and have adventures. It'll be fun! Besides, if you don't come with me now, I'll have to kill you since I told you what I'm doing." Jack leaned back against the side of the alley not noticing the shadow that moved right across the ground in front of him.

"Jack," Daniel shouted not noticing the shadow either, "you are crazy! You need to visit an institution!" Just then, a dart swooped down hitting Jack in the arm with a syringe.

"Dr. Jackson, are you ok?" Teal'c leapt down to the alley where Jack lay crumpled on the ground.

"Yeah, Teal'c, but how'd you do that?" Daniel looked at the crude blowpipe in Teal'c's hand.

"All Jaffa are trained to use simple weapons, incase that they cannot use the Gou'ald technology," Teal'c heaved Jack over his shoulder as a black car drove up to the alleyway, Teal'c leading Daniel inside.

***

"Well, it appears that you'll be ok for now," Janet Frasier put a clipboard at the end of Jack's usual med. ward bed.

"So, what exactly did I have?" Jack looked around grumpily.

"Well… I don't have a name for it yet, but it is a disease, which causes flue like symptoms at first, and if it survives, it lives on to trigger a brain chemical that acts something like an illegal drug." Janet handed Jack a piece of paper with the technical readouts of the virus.

"Great… So, um, what exactly happened to me after I left the SGC?" Jack put the clipboard on the table beside his bed; it was filled with chicken scratches for all he could tell.

"You stripped down to your boxers," Janet put out the words with some trouble, stifling laughter, "then climbed up the Sixth Street Bridge, and walked across to the other side on top of the bridge. Luckily, at that time, Teal'c had brought me a sample of what you had been coughing up, so… We're working on it."

"And, of those years of saying no…" Jack stopped short as Teal'c, Daniel, and Sam came into the ward.

"Hey… that's not true, sir, remember PX6245 –" Sam started to make a joke about the drugged food that they had eaten on the planet, when Jack stopped her.

"Hey, I never said yes to that either," Jack snapped at them.

"Well, Jack, Hammond say that if you're ready by next Wednesday he'll have another mission for us," Daniel pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as Teal'c put a warped box on Jack's table.

"No, I think I'm going to take the month off," Jack reclined on his pile of pillows.

"What do you mean 'No' this is our livelihood!" Daniel pointed around the room.

"I mean 'no,' I'm going fishing. See ya in a month," Jack got up showing that he had his street clothes on, then walked towards the door.

"Hold it," Janet holds up a hand to stop Jack, "You can go, but I want SG-1 to go with you, I'm not sure that you're completely under control."

"…Do I have a choice?" Jack and Daniel chorused together.

"No."

To be continued…