Would Have You?
"Mary?"
That voice sounded so familiar, like it was a voice from a far off dream. Mary could almost put a face on the man speaking to her, almost.
"Yes?" She turned around towards the person who called to her.
"Mary, it's John."
John. John Sanderson Edwards Jr.? That name drove a dull, invisible knife into her heart for a split second. Could it really be the same John she was engaged to almost a year ago? She hoped it wasn't him.
"John? What are you doing here?" Mary had no idea what words to say to him. Wasn't he supposed to be at the university? After John ended their relationship, Mary left Chicago completely heartbroken. She never wanted to see him again and never wanted to love again, especially after that tragic break up. It was the first time in her life her world came crashing down around her.
"I had some time off from school, so I came back to Walnut Grove for a visit. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you, losing your sight and all." John explained, still in shock to have seen Mary in town.
Mary took a deep breath. "Don't feel sorry for me, John. I don't want people to feel sorry for me anymore."
He looked down at the ground. "Is it true that you are going to be teaching at a school for the blind?" John Jr. asked, trying to somehow stir up a conversation with his former love.
"Yes, in Winoka, Dakota, alongside the man who taught me after I went blind." Mary's mind began to wander to Adam's voice. It had been weeks since Mary had seen him and she really started to miss the man she was falling in love with.
John could hear the lack of emotion towards him in Mary's voice. He realized that he was the last person she wanted to see...or hear. "Well, I'm happy for you then. I remember you always wanted to teach."
"Yes." The young lady let out a small smile, not wanting to lead John on or let him see what was really going on with her. She wondered if John missed her smile. Probably not. He had found another girl in the city after all.
There was a brief pause between them. Mary could hear John try to clear his throat and speak. "Mary, do you... do you regret...me?"
She was a bit confused at the young man's question. John was always better with his words when he wrote them down. "What do you mean 'regret you'?"
"I mean us. Do you regret...loving me or being engaged?" He spoke very fast and stumbled over his tongue. He never should have came back to Walnut Grove. He was a city boy now.
"No, John, I don't." Mary bit the bottom of her lip. "You taught me never to let go of my dreams. I may have forgotten that when my world went black, but not anymore." Mary took a breath in, having her own question to ask. "Could you have loved me?"
"What?" John replied, now just as baffled as she was.
"If we were still together, somehow, could you have loved me like this: blind?" Mary lifted her hand up to the side of her face, motioning to her blind eyes.
John sighed. "Mary, I would have thought that a blind woman should have everything done for her. I could have never given you what you have now. Our relationship probably wouldn't have lasted in the end. We never would have lasted."
Mary smiled a genuine smile. "So, I guess, it was for the better. We both are getting the lives we always wanted."
"And I never could have done it without you." John replied, wanting to thank Mary for letting him go to Chicago.
"Mary?"
The young woman turned away from John. "I'll be there in a minute, Laura. I'm sorry John, I really have to go. Good luck with everything."
"It's alright. And good luck to you too. You're going to be a great teacher." John Jr. looked away from Mary, ready to run away from his old home.
"Goodbye, John."
"Goodbye, Mary."