Story: Alone and Guilty
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Author: hippolover1326
I do not own Criminal Minds.
Hey guys! Happy Halloween! This fic is tagged to the stunning Demonology with some Rossi/Prentiss friendship. I've been feeling kinda lonely lately...so I suppose this is the product of that...
Emily walks along in the snow - she doesn't know for how long. She looks up, not caring that it's freezing. A drop of blood lands on the photo she holds, but still no tears.
Usually, Emily likes it that way. She's better at compartmentalizing than almost anyone she knows, except maybe for Hotch. Now, though, Emily's torn between wishing she could let the emotion out and worrying that if she does, she won't ever be able to make it stop.
After all, there's a lot locked up in the depths of Emily's brain and why risk letting those...demons free? She sighs, finally beginning to feel the cold but not wanting to leave just yet. She walks a bit farther, not too sure where to go.
Finally, she hails a cab. "Address?" asks the driver. Emily hesitates only a moment before naming her own. Why burden one of her teammates with this? She doesn't realize, though, that one person thought ahead of her, and he's waiting on her doorstep.
"Rossi?"
"You were gone for over two hours," he says calmly, "and you're freezing. Mind if I come in with you?"
"No, I guess not. You might want to warn a girl before you show up at her house, though," Emily replies, smiling, but Rossi can see the glisten of tears in her eyes.
"Look, I just thought you might want to talk about...all this." Rossi says.
Emily laughs bitterly. "As if I didn't tell you enough earlier." She subconsciously runs her wrist against her stomach as she looks down, blinking a little.
"Or," Rossi continues, "I also thought that just maybe, you wouldn't want to be alone tonight."
They step inside and Emily begins making a pot of hot chocolate.
"Look, Rossi..."
"Like I said, whatever you want to tell me I'm all in," he reminds her gently.
She finishes making the hot chocolate in silence before porin into two mugs and stepping into the living room and over to the couch. She sits down and Rossi follows.
"Why did this happen?" Emily whispers.
"There are evil people in this world, Emily, but there are also good people who make mistakes. I think this whole thing has a fair bit of both, don't you?"
"At least you're not going for the pity strategy, Emily jokes halfheartedly, "but I suppose you're right."
"You're blaming yourself, Prentiss. Don't." Rossi says softly.
"It's too late," she chokes out, trying not to blink lest the tears finally fall.
Rossi takes a chance and holds out his arms. Emily flinches back at first, but then leans forward. Slowly, reluctantly. Rossi wraps his arms around her back.
"Listen," he says quietly. "I'm not here to tell you that it's going to be okay, because I know that's not what you need to hear. What I want you to know is, sometimes life hands us a plate of shit, and our whole team's been given a lot of it, you in particular..."
Emily's body begins to shake in Rossi's embrace. "I'm sorry," she whispers.
"Nothing at all to be sorry for, bella," reassures Rossi.
"I just -"
"I know. I know that with your mother, and certainly our job...you never heard this much. But we're here for you, Em, and it's okay to cry. It really, really is. Even I cry once in a while," he adds.
"Not-not in front of people. We're-sup-supposed to be s-strong," Emily tries to say.
"I know it's hard," Rossi says, "but you've been holding in these emotions for too long. You have to let go."
Emily feels her heart break as she sobs into Rossi's shoulder. He rubs circles on her back and let's her cry, relieved that she is finally able to stop thinking and just feel.
It's a full five minutes before Emily lifts her head up, eyes red and puffy, but Rossi still thinks she looks beautiful.
"This is all my fault," she says in a low voice.
"No." Rossi says firmly. "You didn't mean for any of this to happen."
Fr the next few minutes they sit in silence, listening to each others' breathing.
"Good and evil," Emily states simply.
"Find that good in yourself," Rossi says, taking Emily's hand.
"Thanks, Rossi," Emily states simply.
"Anytime," Rossi smiles. "And Prentiss, I mean that. I'm never going to leave. The team is never going to leave."
"I -"
"I wish I could understand," he says, "but I'm here for you Emily. I promise." he says emphatically, standing up.
They hug one more time, smiling sadly. "I wish you knew how much that means."