Author: Lilly Gray
Title: The Perfect Excuse
Series: First in an as-yet-untitled series of one-shots
Fandom(s): True Blood, The Vampire Diaries
Summary: Wherein a flat tire sparks the start of something.
Characters: Kol Mikaelson, Sookie Stackhouse, Adele Stackhouse
Relationships: Kol Mikaelson/Sookie Stackhouse
Genre: Romance, Supernatural, Fantasy, Crossover
Rating: Rated T
Warnings: None
Pre-Readers: Luner Kat, pyrodaemon, and velez
Banner by: Lilly Gray
Updated: January 06, 2019
First Draft Word Count: 2,083 words
Second Word Count: 4,895 words
Final Word Count: 4,460 words
Prompt/inspiration: Written using the elements from Luner Kat's challenge. Include a flat tire, roast beef, a thunderstorm, a phone call, crying in frustration or laughing (ha ha), open road miles away from anyone.
Timeline Notes: Set in late fall of 2010 in Season 03 of TVD but True Blood's Season 01 hasn't happened yet. The vampires have come out, but Bill hasn't come to Bon Temps at this point.
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: I do not own True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, or The Originals. The recognizable characters, settings, locations, plot lines, and quotes, etc. from each of the franchises above belong to their respective owners, not me. No money is being made from this story, and I intend no copyright infringement.
Author's Notes: To mesh the two fandoms' vampire mythos I'm making the Originals as old as the Old Ones are in The Vampire Diaries books. So, they're around 8,000 years old not 1,000, but they're the version from the show, not the books, so they're the Original Family.
I dedicate this story to Luner Kat who gave me the elements of this challenge and to velez. She celebrated a birthday right before I originally posted this story and shares my love of Kol Mikaelson.
The Perfect Excuse
By Lilly Gray
Kol Mikaelson's PoV
When Elijah's Mercedes hits another bump in the dirt road while I'm driving along in the heart of Nowhere, Louisiana, I grimace. I may have borrowed it without telling him. It serves him right though. The bloody doppelgänger is preoccupying my brothers and Bekah is busy trying to outdo the vapid girl that has our brothers all in knots. So, they tasked me with driving the 1,076 miles to New Orleans to evaluate the situation between Sophie-Anne Leclerq and Marcellus Gerard.
I'd much rather be home reading through one of my many grimoires. Instead, I'm stuck out here in the middle of nowhere. I run a hand through my shaggy brown hair that needs a haircut and stare out the windshield at the endless dirt road surrounded on both sides by dense forest. The sky behind me is an array of pinks, purples, and oranges cast by the setting sun. Ahead of me, the sky is an angry, churning gray that shows I'm driving into a storm, in more ways than one.
Putting both hands back on the steering wheel when I hit a hole in the road, I try to drive around another pothole I can see. Instead, I run into one I didn't notice. The steering wheel wobbles accompanied by a rhythmic thump, thump, thump while the car hobbles along, so I pull over to investigate. I get out of the vehicle and walk around to the front passenger side tire. Flat, brilliant. I take out my phone to call someone to come and fix it, but I get no signal. Where the hell am I that a cell phone doesn't bloody work? Don't these things work everywhere?
Kicking the offending tire, being careful to only use human strength, I slam my phone back into my pocket. The last 96 years have been spent pretending to be in my coffin with a dagger in my heart. I did it so I could work behind the scenes to further my family's interests. So, I've been much too busy kicking ass and taking names to learn how to fix a flat tire. Driving on a flat is a bloody bad idea though. If I don't want Elijah to put me in my box for real, I'd better not break his car any more than I have.
I bring my boot to the tire again and turn, leaning against the car before looking up at the ever-darkening clouds and take a deep breath. The last sign of civilization I passed was a hole-in-the-wall bar three miles back. I suppose I could run there and ask to use their phone. Vamp running would expose that some vampires can move around in the daylight, though, which means I would need to walk at a human's pace. I definitely don't have the patience for that.
When I let the air out through my nose, a drop of water hits my face. A moment later massive pinball sized drops of warm rain fall from the sky. There is no gradual buildup, one second, it's not raining and the next it's bloody pouring. Within a few more seconds I'm soaked through to the bone. I know better than to ruin the leather interior of my anal-retentive older brother's car by sitting in his vehicle while wet. So, I stay standing in the rain.
Letting out a bitter bark of laughter, I turn and kick the tire again. I contemplate getting back in anyway because I've earned enough money through the ages to replace Elijah's leather seats. Just before I move to get back into the vehicle a dull yellow car that has seen better days pulls up behind my brother's Mercedes.
I walk towards the yellow monstrosity and the driver, a blonde woman with vibrant Chocolate Brown eyes, rolls down her window. "Mister, you need any help?"
I frown and nod. "Yes, Darling, I seem to have a flat and, well, learning to fix a tire hasn't ever been high on my list of priorities. Can I use your phone and get someone out here to fix it?"
She smiles but shakes her head. "This whole stretch of road is a dead zone, so you won't be able to call for help, but I happen to know how to change a tire. Do you have a spare?"
Still frowning, I tell her, "Um, I'm not sure."
She nods and opens her door, and magickally the rain stops the moment her sneakered foot touches the ground. My sensitive ears pick up the sound of thunder off in the distance, though, so this reprieve from the rain is only temporary.
While she gets out of her car, I take the time to look at her. She's petite, but busty with an hourglass figure. She's wearing a tight white t-shirt with the name Merlotte's Bar and Grill on it. Her short little black shorts show that although she's less than 5'5" tall she has long shapely legs.
She smells divine too, like sunshine and promises. The scent distracts me, and I flash on a memory of my brothers and me as children, laughing and running through a meadow in the late afternoon. The air was thick with the scent of springtime growth. A recent rain shower left tiny droplets of water glistening on the petals of the little blue flowers growing in boundless numbers in the meadow.
She closes her door and tilts her head towards my brother's car. "Pop the trunk. I'll see if you have everything we'll need, if not I can drive you to a phone and you can call for help that way."
I bring my mind away from her tantalizing aroma and back to the moment at hand with a little difficulty because God does she smell scrumptious. Focusing on her face, she's looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. I smile back and nod before walking to the driver's side door, opening it, leaning down, and flipping the lever popping the trunk.
She lifts the lid and bends to inspect the contents of the trunk. After a moment of rummaging around, she laughs. "Good news, not only do you have a spare tire, but you have the tools I'll need to change it for you."
I walk back to her and to be helpful I reach in and pull out the tire she's shown was hiding under the floor of the trunk. I beam at her and break out my dimples. "Would you mind teaching me how to do it so I can do it myself next time?"
She tilts her head and looks at me for a moment and smiles. "Not that the British accent doesn't give it away, but you're not from around here, are you?"
I grin. "No, I live in Virginia. Why?"
She leans into the trunk and takes out the tools, and when she stands up with them in her arms, she smiles. "Men 'round these parts would take offense to having a woman change their tire and would never think to ask that woman to teach them how to fix it."
I shrug one shoulder. "Well, Darling, you're better prepared than I am and if you're willing to teach me, then I'm ready and willing to learn. And for the record, I don't understand how you being a woman even factors into the equation."
She grins again showing off straight pearly white teeth with a small gap between her two front teeth before she nods a few times. "I'm Sookie."
My lips tilt upward. "I'm Kol; it's a pleasure to meet you, Sookie."
She bows her head a little. "I'd shake your hand, but my hands are full."
I laugh and step out of her way, so she can walk the tools in her arms over to the side of the car. She bends and inspects the tire.
She spends the next twenty minutes showing me how to change a flat. When I've tucked the flat into the trunk, in case it's salvageable, she stands back up. "Well, there you go, Kol. Now you should be capable to do it yourself next time."
I smirk. "With you as my teacher I have no doubt of that."
Thunder rumbles much closer than it had been and she looks up at the sky. "Well, I reckon it's gonna pour again soon. Neither of us should drive in that sort of weather so might you be interested in a home-cooked meal while you wait out the storm? My Gran is making roast beef tonight."
I chuckle. "She won't mind you bringing home a stray?"
Throwing her head back, she gives me a full laugh before looking at me. "Nope, she'd whoop my butt if I let you go drive in bad weather and didn't invite you to dinner instead."
I slant my head. "In that case, it'd be an honor to protect your rather shapely butt and have dinner with you."
She grins from ear to ear. "Thanks, but don't get fresh with me, I won't have it."
I sway my head, and after placing my hand over my heart, I tell her, "I'll be on my best behavior."
Her smile grows before she tells me, "I live down the road, so follow me."
I nod, and we get into our respective cars, and I follow her down the bumpy dirt road. She turns onto another dirt road, but this one isn't so pitted. Half a mile down she turns onto a gravel driveway that doesn't have as many potholes as the first road, but it's a near thing.
She parks beside a white farmhouse that could do with a new coat of paint and gets out. I park and get out, too, and a half second later the rain returns in full force. One moment it's dry, and the next raindrops the size of marbles are pounding on us.
She runs up onto the porch, and I follow. When we're under the porch roof, she beams and looks at me. "Come on in, Kol."
Well, at least I don't have to finagle an invitation into the house, so I grin. "Thank you, Sookie." Then I follow inside her home.
She looks over her shoulder while she walks. "Gran's probably in the kitchen."
I nod and trail after her, looking over the living room while we go. Everything in the house is worn with age but it looks like they've cared for it well. Sookie and her grandmother may not have much money, but they take loving care of the things they own.
We walk into the kitchen that's clean despite the delightful aroma coming from it that shows that someone has spent the day cooking. A stocky, gray-haired woman looks up from the dough she's kneading. Her outfit consists of a cornflower blue sweater, a white button-up blouse, a matching blue calf-length skirt, and white sneakers. She gives a brilliant smile to Sookie. "Did you have a good day at work, Dear?"
Sookie nods. "Sure did, Gran."
Her grandmother's eyes travel over me. "Who's your friend?"
Sookie shifts so she can see both of us. "Gran, this is Kol, err, I didn't catch your last name."
I laugh. "Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson."
She inclines her head. "Gran, this is Kol Mikaelson, and Kol, this is Adele Stackhouse, my grandmother."
I grin and walk the few feet to Mrs. Stackhouse when she offers her warm hand before I grab hold of it. I bend over it and bring her knuckles to my lips and brush them across her skin that tastes of flour. When I stand back up, I say, "It's a pleasure, Mrs. Stackhouse."
She blushes while she takes her hand back. "How do you and Sookie know each other?"
With a shrug, I say, "I got a flat tire, and your granddaughter was kind enough to help me replace it. She mentioned that you raised her and her brother, so I imagine her kindness to a perfect stranger is because of how you reared her."
Mrs. Stackhouse smiles and goes back to kneading her dough. Sookie walks to the fridge. "Can I get you anything to drink, Kol? Gran, I hope you don't mind, but I invited Kol to dinner. According to the news the storm should be over by the time we finish dinner, and it should be safe for him to continue on his way."
Mrs. Stackhouse nods. "No one should drive in this sort of weather. Do you enjoy roast beef, Mr. Mikaelson?"
I beam and tilt my head. "I haven't had roast beef in what feels like almost a century, but I enjoyed it the last time I ate it. And please, Mrs. Stackhouse, call me Kol."
She grins and nods. "I'll call you Kol if you call me Adele."
I smile back. "You have yourself a deal, Adele."
Sookie asks again, "Kol, anything to drink?"
I shake my head. "No thank you."
She reaches into the fridge and takes out a pitcher of Iced Tea. She pours herself some and after putting the pitcher back into the refrigerator she walks to the kitchen table and indicates that I should sit.
After I've sat, Adele smiles at us. "So, your accent sounds British, where are you from, Kol."
I grin. Vampires are out of the proverbial coffin these days and I have a good feeling about these two women. So, I answer honestly, "I was born in what is now Virginia roughly 8,000 years ago give or take a century or two. Then I spent most of the years between my turning and now traveling and somewhere along the way I picked up the British accent."
Their eyes widen, and Adele has stopped kneading her dough again. Sookie frowns and leans forward in her seat. "8,000? But it was daytime when we met." She makes big gestures between the two of us and the kitchen window and says, "And you were awake and driving? I thought vampires died for the day?"
I smirk and take a calculated risk. "Most do, but I'm a special vampire, one of the first. All vampires descend from my siblings and me. Our direct descendants and theirs don't die for the day. In fact, we don't sleep unless we want to, but the fourth generation and younger die for the day. I think it's because once our childer's childer make vampires, the fourth generation is removed enough from the magick that created us they're affected differently. Also, see this ring?" I hold up my left hand with my Lapis Lazuli ring on it before they nod. "If a vampire wears a special ring like this one, they can go out in the daylight. The ring makes a later generation vamp not die during the day or sleep unless they choose to do so, too."
Sookie nods. "And food? You seem interested in having Gran's roast beef, but I thought vamps can't eat human food."
I shake my head. "No, that's a fourth generation or later thing, too, though again the magic in the ring allows them to eat human food and not get ill. I've always been able to eat regular food, though. The only real differences between a human and me are that I need to supplement food with blood and I have magick and enhanced strength, speed, and senses."
They both quirk their eyebrows at that, and Adele once again returns to kneading.
I spend the next two hours answering every question that comes to their minds. Their inquiries are an even mix of supernatural questions and historical queries, and I have fun talking with them and educating them about the supernatural world around them.
Sookie takes a bite of her pie and after swallowing asks, "So the supernatural world has kings and queens, right?"
I tip my head while chewing on a bite of my own heavenly slice of pecan pie, so she nods back. "So who's the king or queen of Louisiana?"
I wipe my mouth with a napkin and sit back before frowning. "That's why I'm going to New Orleans. Two vampires, Sophie-Anne Leclerq and my brother Nik's former protégé, Marcellus Gerard, are fighting over your beautiful state."
Adele makes a tutting sound. "That's why there have been those terrible murders plaguing New Orleans, right?"
I tilt my head, and because I'm certain they'll be loyal to me and mine, I take the risk of telling two humans more than I should. "Yes. They both claimed the monarchy of Louisiana and are at war over the state. My grandchilde, Eric, whom both would-be rulers believe is loyal to them is working for my family and me as a spy on both sides. According to him, and now you Adele, the body count has gotten high enough that humans are noticing the turf war going on between two seemingly powerful vampires."
They both nod and take bites of their desert. I rub the back of my neck. "Most monarchs are well over 1,000 years old. Sophie-Anne, though, is 550 years old, and Marcel is only 200 years old. So, they're babies compared not just to my family but most of the other monarchs too. They're not as powerful as the humans think. They are much more powerful than mortals, though, and have been tossing that power around with little care for how it reflects on the rest of us."
I take another bite and roll the pie around in my mouth. God, this pie is fantastic.
When Sookie has swallowed her bite, she sits forward. "So what are you going to do? I mean you can't keep letting them kill willy-nilly. It's bad press for vampires everywhere if someone discovers they're behind the murders."
I sigh and sit back in my chair again, kicking my feet out under the table. "My brothers and I don't like Sophie-Anne and Marcel's casual disregard for appearances any more than you do. My family would very much like to keep the bad publicity they're generating as low as possible. So, my lovely siblings have sent me to see if I can talk sense into them, hence my road trip."
They both nod so I bend my head down again. "My language of choice is my fists and fangs. I've found throughout my many lifetimes it's a universal language, so I should be able to get our message across well enough."
Adele gasps and frowns at us even while Sookie chuckles. Adele says, "You be careful, Kol. I don't want to open my paper tomorrow morning and discover that my new friend has gotten himself into trouble, or worse dead!"
I grin at her because I can tell that she's genuinely worried for my welfare. Few people worry about me so it's a novel experience but one I welcome, so I shrug. "I'll do my best to stay out of trouble. As for my physical safety, it would take much more than Sophie-Anne or Marcel to end me. Even if they and their armies united against me, they wouldn't be able to destroy me."
I don't mention that the only way to kill me is with a White Oak Stake. Although I trust both women, it's not wise to advertise the ways you can die.
Instead, I let out a heavy sigh. "My family had nothing to do with creating this big mess. We didn't even want to come out to the humans in the first place. Despite our superior powers and strength, the government we set up millennia ago outvoted us. We set it up to keep us from having to spend our time policing everyone, and that decision came back and bit us in the ass."
Adele swats my hand that's resting on the table. "Language Kol, you may be much older than me, but while you're in my house, you'll be respectful."
I tip my head towards her and tell her, "My apologies, I meant no disrespect. I have a nasty habit of using foul language when I'm excited or angry about things, and this whole mess rubs me the wrong way. We knew humans wouldn't, as a whole, react well to the news of our existence, but no one listened to us. Now, most supes see we knew what we were talking about so they're looking to us to lead them through this mess their stupidity caused."
They both smile, and Adele pats my hand this time instead of smacking it. I frown and tell them, "I don't know how much you both pay attention to news outside the United States. Despite the many protests against vampires here, the US is the most accepting of vampires. The only other countries that are anywhere nearing tolerant are Britain and France. It's a bloody witch hunt everywhere else. There are regular stakings and humans have vervained, captured, and burned vampires in the sun daily. It's a right old mess, and my family isn't sure how to resolve it. That's why we were against coming out because we couldn't figure out what to do if it went sideways."
Adele nods. "I reckon the best you can do is make the other vampires behave the best they can and hope that humans realize that you're not all evil. Near as I can tell the worst of the human race are responsible for most of the atrocities we're aware of from throughout history. Show humans that vampires fill the good and evil spectrum the same as humans. Most of you are in the middle with a few on the far ends of the spectrum. That should appease most of them."
Nodding at her, I take the last bite of my pie, letting out a sigh after I've swallowed the mouthful because that was phenomenal pie. Then I rest back against my seat at the dinner table and sit for a minute before threading my fingers over my full belly. "Well, Adele, you made a roast beef even tastier and more tender than the last time I had it, which I didn't think was possible. As if that wasn't momentous enough, I'd classify your pecan pie as a national treasure."
She blushes again but gets up and clears the table.
I look at the clock on the microwave and sigh because I've enjoyed my time here so much I don't want to leave. I need to get going though. So, I stand and tell Sookie and Adele, "I had a lovely time meeting you both, and dinner and our conversation were fantastic. I must go, though, or I'll never make it to New Orleans tonight. I should return in a day or two. If it pleases you, I'd like to stop by and say hello."
They both grin and nod, so I incline my head towards the door. "Walk me to my car, Sookie?"
She smiles and walks out through the house to the front door.
I stop at the door to the kitchen and turn back and tell Adele, "Thank you for dinner. It was fabulous."
She grins from ear to ear. "You're welcome. Now don't be a stranger you hear?"
I laugh and nod before following Sookie.
When we're standing beside Elijah's car, we stare at each other for a moment. The crickets, frogs, and other animals are singing a chorus while the heavy damp air clings to our skin and envelopes us like a warm wet blanket.
Sookie sighs and shuffles her feet. "Are you really going to stop on the way back?"
I shift so I'm closer to her, and with a grin, I tell her, "Yes, Darling, I will stop by on my way back. I enjoyed you and your grandmother, and that's rare in my world. When someone comes along who doesn't bore you to tears, you keep them around for as long as you can. That's one of the many things I have learned through the years. While I'm gone, can you do a little research for me? Find out if anyone nearby is renting a house or an apartment. I'd appreciate it."
Her eyes widen. "You, you'll stick around then?"
I smirk and reach up, brushing my hand over her cheek. "If you wouldn't mind my extended company then absolutely. Though, if you mind, then I won't loiter and I'll be on my way."
She shakes her head. "No, I don't mind."
My smile widens, and on a whim, I lean in and kiss her. Her warm lips taste of pecans, vanilla, and sunshine. Despite my overwhelming wish to lose myself in her kisses, I keep it chaste and then pull away.
Her hand comes up and touches her lips, and she smiles behind her fingers.
Despite my unrepentant grin, I say, "I'm sorry. I know you're a proper lady, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to kiss you."
She lowers her hand and has a gentle smile on her face. "Well, you better start, resisting that is because you're right. I am a proper southern lady so no more kisses until we know each other better."
I grin. "Well, I promised my best behavior earlier, so I suppose I can work harder at resisting your tempting lips."
She chuckles and grins at me wide enough to show her teeth. "Good, see that you do. Now, back to your request; I'll ask around and see if anyone is looking for a tenant. If you give me your number, I'll call and let you know what I've found out."
After we both take out our phones, we program each other's numbers into our contacts and she nods once. "Drive safely, Kol. I'll see you in a few days, and I'll call if I find anyone looking for a renter."
I beam at her, "If they're looking to sell, that will work too. Money's no object. Oh, and you need not have information on housing to call me."
She blushes but nods again, and a moment later she stands on her tiptoes, leans in, and kisses my cheek before standing back. "I'll keep that in mind."
I smile and lean in and brush another soft, chaste kiss on her forehead this time and take a moment to inhale her mouthwatering aroma. With an ear to ear grin on my face, I get into my car and start the vehicle. I turn it around and drive along the driveway; my eyes glued to my rear-view mirror the entire time because she stands there and watches me leave.
The good news is I won't be gone for that long. As a bonus, the situation in New Orleans might prove the perfect excuse to get my family to let me stay here for a while at least.
The End
Author's Note: If anyone else wants to give me a challenge, comment with one of each of the following things:
01. A thing.
02. Something you eat or drink.
03. A weather or other natural phenomenon. (e.g. rainstorm, rainbow, sunset, sunrise, full moon, new moon, eclipse, tornado, hurricane, thunder snow, sunshine and rain at the same time, etc.)
04. Something from nature. (e.g. a flower, tree, rock, grass, lake, forest, leaf, bird, an animal, a river, the ocean, sand, seaweed, etc.) The answers can be specific or general.
05. Conversation/Communication Type. (e.g. a conversation, an argument, love letter(s), whispering, a confession, etc.…)
06. An Intimate Act. (e.g. a kiss, hug, slap, tears/crying, laughter, etc.…)
07. The setting/location. (e.g. a kitchen, bedroom, apartment, city or suburban street, driveway, taxi, bus, lake, forest, deserted country road, etc. Try to keep them fandom neutral.)
08. Your name you want me to use when I give you credit for the challenge.
