A/N – Hey Guys! This story went in an entirely different direction than I had planned and took me way longer to write than I thought it would but here we are.
Enjoy!
Amir was startled awake by someone pounding on his door. What the hell, he thought. Who would be at his door at this time of night? He is new to L.A. The only people he knows are his team. He pads up to the door and opens it, surprised by the person he sees leaning heavily on the door frame.
"McGuire? What are you doing here? It's two o'clock in the morning." He stops short when he sees the look on McG's face. "Are you drunk?" He demands, internally groaning. A drunken McG is not what he wants to be dealing with when he should be catching up on his quality rest.
"No…Yes…Maybe," McG slurs as he stumbles past Amir and heads straight for his kitchen.
"Yes, of course you can come in," Amir rolls his eyes. He follows McGuire into the kitchen and sits next to him at the island table. He wonders why drunk McG decided to come to his house instead of another team member's house. He supposed showing up at your bosses house drunk was probably not on McGuire's to do list, which meant Top was out. Preach has kids and going to him would have entailed a long lecture. Jaz would have mercilessly teased him for drinking alone. So that left Amir to deal with this situation. He closes his eyes and sighs. He hasn't been on the team for long but, he is sure handling McGuire will take more than just giving him a glass of water and setting him up on the couch for the night. When he opens his eyes again he is startled by the lost look on McG's face. Sure, McG's a medic so he has to have a soft heart somewhere in there but on missions and on base he is always closed up pretty tight. Amir doesn't know what to say so he stays silent figuring McGuire will open up when he is ready.
He is rewarded a minute later when McGuire shakily says, "She's gone man. She's left for good this time."
Amir shakes his head. Of course this is about a girl. He decides to play along figuring he could do with learning more about his teammates. "Who's gone McG?"
"Alyssa. I don't know what I am going to do without her."
Now Amir is confused. He's assuming McGuire is talking about his girlfriend but, he never pegged McG as the dating type considering the way the team reacted, specifically Top, when he hooked up with the girl in Spain. "Is Alyssa your girlfriend?"
McGuire looks at him with wide eyes. "My girlfriend?" He groans, "I thought it was going to be like every other time but it's for real this time."
Amir nods his head slowly, trying to piece together the information. So far all he has is McGuire and his girlfriend, Alyssa, have broken up… again apparently. And McGuire seems to think it's over. "What happened?" Amir asks, still hanging onto the hope McGuire will pass out onto his couch soon. His hopes are shattered when McG pulls a flask out from his jacket and takes a long drag from it. Nope, Amir thinks, this is going to be a long night. McGuire starts to babble incoherently and all of a sudden Amir feels like the situation has spun a little out of control. He doesn't have a lot of experience dealing with drunk people, especially ones who are heartbroken trained killers.
"McGuire?" He says softly, "Maybe you should give me the drink. I think you've had enough."
McGuire glares at him. "Oh really? You think I've had enough? What are you going to do about it?"
Amir raises his eyebrows. Does McGuire actually want to fight him over the stupid flask? Just as he is about to lung for it, McG slumps in his chair.
"That's what she said to me. 'I've had enough'. And then she left. Oh God what am I going to do now. I'm so screwed," McGuire moans, putting his face in his hands.
Amir is definitely not equipped for this. He struggles for a moment about what to do before deciding on calling Jaz. She is probably just going to tell him to suck it up and deal with it but at least then he will know this is normal behavior for McGuire while on leave, because the guy sitting in front of him is not the same as the one he has fought beside for the past few months.
The phone rings three times before Jas picks up, "Amir? It's like 3 o'clock in the morning. Why are you calling me?"
"I know I'm sorry but McGuire showed up at my house drunk, he isn't really making sense and I didn't know what to do."
Jaz's voice sharpens, "He's drunk? What has he said to you?"
"I think he is talking about an old girlfriend named Alyssa?"
Amir hears Jaz mutter a "shit" under her breath before saying, "Amir, I want you to call Preach and tell him what's going on. I'm on my way but Preach can get there before me. If you can, take away whatever he is drinking. Do not let him out of our sight."
That was not what Amir was expecting to hear. Before he can say anything else Jaz hangs up on him. What the hell is going on? Amir calls Preach determined to get some answers. Preach answers on the first ring. Amir raises his eyebrows but figures Preach is the kind of guy who is always ready whenever he is needed.
Once Amir explains what's happening the only thing Preach says is, "I'll be there in five. Don't let him do anything stupid."
This just serves to make Amir even more worried. He didn't get the teasing 'man up' he thought he was going to receive. He turns his eyes back to McGuire and sees him staring off into space, a devastatingly sad look on his face. Amir walks over to him and slowly pries the flask from his hands. The fierceness from before is long gone and Amir finds himself desperately wishing for Preach to get there. He has never seen McG this way before. Hell, he's never seen him with anything less than the smirk he wears around the base or the determined look during missions.
Amir's heart relaxes when Preach walks in not a second later without knocking. He ignores Amir completely, going straight to McGuire, careful not to touch him.
"McGuire, I need you to look at me." When he receives no response he tries again, "Joseph, snap out of it!"
Not even a blink.
Preach heaves a deep sigh turning towards Amir, "We'll have to wait until Jaz gets here, she's the only one who he will respond to. I'll call Top when it's over to let him know what's happened."
Amir crosses his arms, "Care to explain?"
Preach gives him a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry man, but it's best if he is the one to tell you."
Amir nods, figuring that would be the answer. Preach is not one to spill another's secrets. "This has happened before?" He asks.
"A few times. I haven't seen it this bad in a while but, I think there has been a few times where it has just been Jaz to help him through it."
"Top knows about this then?"
Preach keeps an eye on McGuire as he answers, but he hasn't moved an inch. "Yes, but he's never actually been there for an 'episode'. The first time it happened McG made Jaz, Eli, and I swear we wouldn't call Top if it ever happened again. He doesn't want Top to see him as weak."
Amir looks confused, if McG didn't want to appear weak, then one would think he wouldn't want the new guy to know about this. Instead he came directly to his house. When he voices his thoughts Preach gives him a self-deprecating smirk, "I think he felt like a burden like a burden on Jaz and I. He probably didn't want to bother us. Back when it was worse, Eli, Jaz, and I would take turns watching over him on leave. With Eli gone it's just been us two. I think he thinks we are going to get sick of him and send him off. He doesn't realize how valuable a team member he is. Don't sell yourself short either, he trusts you. We all trust you. My guess is he didn't know this was going to happen. He probably thought he could come over here drunk, talk some nonsense you wouldn't understand, and then pass out on your couch. He needs to be near people. It helps him feel grounded. Jaz is the only one that has been able to pull him out of it when it gets this bad. All we can do now is wait for her to get here."
Luckily, five minutes later Jaz marches through the door also not knocking although, Amir supposes manners go out the door in this type of situation. She does however, give him a small sad smile before going to McG's side. She stares at him for a long moment, pain evident in her eyes. Amir is suddenly struck by how far outside of their circle he is. This whole team has been through a world of suffering and by each other's sides through it all. Amir has only just begun to brush the surface of the connection they have.
Jaz lets out a sigh before appearing to steel herself for what she is going to have to do next.
Preach touches Amir's arm softly to get his attention. "There is no way of knowing how McGuire is going to react. It's different every time, but whatever happens, do not interfere. It's going to be really hard to watch but you absolutely cannot jump in to try to help Jaz. Understand?"
"Copy that," Amir replies, deciding it is best to try to distance himself from this emotionally and treat it like a mission. A difficult task considering McGuire has become the closest thing Amir has had to a family in a long time.
Jaz raises her hands in a non-threatening manner before slowly reaching out to touch McG's arm. His reaction is immediate. He snaps to attention and Amir can see all his years of Delta Force coursing through his veins.
"McGuire, it's Jaz, you're in Amir's house. Preach is here too, see?" Jaz goes to gesture towards Preach. A second later McGuire's arm is around her neck.
Amir goes to step forward but is stopped by Preach grabbing onto his wrist. "She knows what she is doing," he murmurs quietly.
Amir's slight feeling of reassurance is gone with the first words McGuire has spoken in over an hour, "Move and I snap her neck."
Amir and Preach keep their hands in front of them, not moving an inch. Every bone in Amir's body is screaming at him to do something but he heeds Preach's warning and stays put.
"Where is she?" McG demands.
A slight inclination of Jaz's head tells Preach it's okay for him to step in. "McGuire, you aren't there, you're at Amir's house."
McGuire's eyes are filled with fury, "I'm going to give you ten seconds to tell me where Alyssa is before I do something you aren't going to like."
Preach takes a tiny step forward, "McG, we aren't the bad guys, Alyssa isn't with us. You are holding onto Jaz right now really tightly. Can you see that you're hurting her?"
"Ten seconds are up," McG growls, eyes flashing. A second later instead of his arm around Jaz's neck, a knife is pressed up against it. Amir has no idea where he was hiding it and silently curses himself for not checking McGuire for weapons when he first came in.
Preach's shoulders drop slightly before he makes eye contact with Jaz's wide eyes. "There is no other way, he isn't hearing us. I don't want to risk a fight and have someone get hurt." Preach whispers to Jaz. The more than already goes unspoken.
Jaz's face is filled with regret, she closes her eyes and when she opens them again she looks like an entirely different person. She reaches up and double taps the arm threatening to kill her. Jaz lets out a light laugh, while gently twisting out from underneath McG's arm, "You won't hurt me, silly."
Immediately McGuire's face lights up, entirely forgetting what he had just threatened to do a moment ago. He takes Jaz's face in his hands, "I've missed you so much Alyssa. A lot has happened recently. I've been waiting to tell you all about it. I'll start by letting you know Preach is annoying as ever with all his words of wisdom." He rolls his eyes fondly, "Jaz is still kicking ass and Top is on his way to being the greatest team leader in the history of the U.S military. But the exciting news is that we got a new guy. He's pretty cool. He has a lot of skills and oh man can he cook. I'll bring you to meet him soon, he just bought a house here in L.A. Maybe he can whip us up something special," he finishes with a wink.
Amir watches Jaz carefully, she can't keep this up much longer. The deception is killing her. Emotions that run deep are always the hardest to conceal. She takes McG's hands in her own, "McG, I need to talk to you."
"Ooh, McG, serious now aren't we?" He mocks. Seeing the look on Jaz's face his smile drops. "Alyssa? What's going on baby?"
"McGuire, I need you to focus. Look at where you are. Listen to the sound of my voice."
McGuire looks at her, confused.
"Please Joseph," She chokes out, "I know this is hard for you. And as much as I know you don't want to, I need you to come back to me, to us." She gestures to Amir and Preach, who are in shock, still afraid any movement and McGuire will be lost again.
He turns to stare at them before an, "Oh God," is released from his lips and he crumples to the floor. Preach rushes over and catches him and slowly brings him over to the couch in the next room.
Amir turns to Jaz who is staring off into space, her fingers fluttering over the thin cut McGuire had made with the knife. Amir takes a step toward her and she shakes her head bringing herself back to the present. "Are you okay?" He asks.
"I'm fine," Jaz responds curtly before adding more softly, "He needs me right now, I can deal with my shit later."
Amir nods, understanding the needs of her teammate come before the needs of her own. "At least clean off the blood," Amir suggests, handing her a towel. Luckily, the knife only nicked her and the bleeding has already stopped.
"Thanks" Jaz's steady hands work quickly and a minute later she is steeling herself to head into the next room.
Amir follows her in slowly not really sure what to expect as he still doesn't fully understand what was happening. What he does know is that ptsd flashbacks are rough and McGuire is going to need all the support he can get and Amir is more than willing to give it to him.