It was a dark and stormy night, and the beloved Sirius Black was hungry. He searched the kitchens….or rather had the house elves search….for what he wanted, but even he was lost to this information. Saddened by defeat, he ambled back to the dormitories and went through Moony's trunk. I mean Moony has everything in his dormitory! Searching, searching. AHA
A can of soup. But not just any soup…Cambell's Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup. Sirius stared at the word "chunky", this word bothered him for some reason. Was this indicated that if he ate this he was fat? Or was it simply a caution that if you eat it you will get fat?
'Ah well,' he thought, and proceeded to open it. The can, however, rebelled against him and wouldn't budge. Sirius, befuddled, tried again. It still didn't lift at all. "Bugger!" he said out loud, but mostly to himself.
Just then, James walked in. " Hi….Sir-" but he stopped short as he looked at his best mate looking at a can of soup with such an intense glare. "What the bleeding hell are you planning to do to that?"
Sirius didn't look away from the can. "At this point, I am using my awesome TK to open the festering thing! But it's not working!" He shouted the last sentence, throwing the can of soup at the wall. It crashed into it, but didn't even dent. "DAMN!! I was hoping that would break it!!"
James looked incredulously at Sirius and the can, and vice versa. He straightened his look. "There is only one thing that will open it." He searched under his bed and whipped out a chainsaw. "MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!" and brought down the doom that had been awaiting the can. After minutes of James laughing like an idiot and Sirius watching intently, James cut the chainsaw's motor and removed his goggles. He gasped as the can was unscathed except for minor scratches made to the paper. He look at Sirius, who gave him a "mhmmm, the-chainsaw-fixes-everything-doesn't-it!" look. "Sorry, mate." James apologized. " Your soup is the devil."
Sirius groaned. Hunger was resurfacing after its short break. James sat on his own bed, thinking. Just then, Sirius had a brilliant epiphany. " I am magical!! Watch my mad skills!" He stepped back, tripped over his trunk and fell with a crash.
James snorted. "Magical, Eh?"
"Shut up!" came the muffled response. Sirius stood up, and backed away much more gracefully this time. 'Abra Cadabra!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, seeming incredibly pleased with himself. James burst into tears from laughing so hard. Sirius looked at him, questioningly.
James stopped. " Sorry, just. You seemed so proud of yourself. And-yeah…." he let out one last stream of laughter and then stopped. Sirius continued to try random spells, none of which seemed to cooperate with him. The flame-thrower didn't help to much, but manage to char James' arse slightly( You'd make a great chicken wing!" said Sirius).
When all else failed, he started throwing it at the wall again, numerous times until the sound of metal hitting concrete(?) was growing more and more pleasing to him. Tyna, however, disagreed. No matter how much she did enjoy annoying repetitive noises. She walked- marched is probably the better word here, but it sounds too knightly- into the room, grabbed the bleeding can, and popped the lid off.
" Goddess, Sirius, when did you become such a woman?" she shouted as she walked through the doorframe, leaving Sirius to dwell on the fact that he now had soup but was know longer hungry.