"Hey, you guys," her cheery voice rang through the hall. She walked up to the three teens and flipped back her red hair. The mask of joy covered her emotions and her feeling hid locked inside a steel cage.

No one knew the true Jazz Fenton. The only one who had ever gotten a tiny glimpse of it was me, her brother, Danny. Yet, I was unknown, then, to the fact that I was part of the reason she felt the way she did.

"You hold the answers deep within' your own mind."

She kept everything hidden away so very good. Everyone knew her as the cheerful spirit queen of Casper high. No one compared her to the Goth girl that is my best friend, Sam Manson, when in reality; she's more like her than known. She gets along with that Sam for a reason. A reason unknown.

Deceiving she was, in the way she acted. That saying is true. Looks can be deceiving, and often times are. What she felt were her own, and not for the worlds prying eyes. I know what she feels, because I swiped her diary. Yeah, yeah…I know I shouldn't have, but she looked so sad lately in her room at night. I had to find out what was wrong and I knew she wouldn't tell me.

May 11

Dear diary,

Oh, sometimes I feel so useless; so helpless to him. I know he needs me, but what can I do? All I am is the nosy big sister. He wouldn't listen to me. He lets me tend to his wounds, but I can never help him…enough. You know what I mean? I can't help anyone no matter how hard I try. I've made people look up to me. They don't know they're looking up to nothing.

May 26

Dear diary

They think they know me so well. They think I'm always so happy. Bleh. They don't know anything. The Jazz they know is a lie. My own family doesn't know who I am. If I died, they'd think of me as a happy girl. Maybe I should die…maybe I need to keep that rep and die with it. I'll let my true self out someday I know. I dread that day. I never want to see that day. I'd rather die.

June 9

Dear Diary

Danny got hurt again today. I can't bear to see him hurt. I know he'd feel the same for me. Me mentally, of course. He gets physically injured, which isn't much better. That's why I can't tell him how I feel about my life. If I can't bear to see him hurt, I can't put him threw seeing me hurt. That's just heartless. Which I am not and never will be.

June 15

Dear diary

Kill me now. Just get me out of everyone's lives. I don't help anyone! I try I fail I fall! Look at Danny. What have I done for him? Nothing! Please let me die. Please? I have no purpose here.

I can't read this. I can't read this and know my own sister feels this way. I need to talk to her. She has helped me a lot more than she knows…a lot more than…maybe…I know. But now I need to break it to her. She's going to go off the deep end sometime and I want to be there to pull her back.

Did it just get colder in here, or is it just me? What ever. I have to talk to my sister.

--------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- -----------------------------

"Where is it?" I can't find it. Oh my gosh what if someone found it. What if they're reading it? I think I'd die. It has to be here.

She threw useless books over her shoulder in a frantic attempt to find what she longed. A frightened look spread across her face and she grumbled incoherent worries.

"Where is it!?" she yelled, and took a breath.

"All right Jazz. Don't get too worked up over this. I'm sure it's here…somewhere."

She looked under her mattress and through her pillows. She barley heard the small tap at the door.

"Yeah." She didn't bother to look over there, but continued to search.

"Jazz? I need to talk to you." His voice came a little bit shaky, which immediately caught her attention. It can wait…right now, her brother needed her. She left her hunt and opened the door. Danny stood there, looking somber into her aqua eyes.

"Dan? What's wrong?" she led him into her room, incase of ghost troubles. They couldn't risk their parents hearing anything. He fell into a chair and he sat on the bed, watching him.

"Danny?"

He held out a small pink book. Its lock hung open and its pages had new fingerprints on them. She paled.

"You took it?" she snatched it away from him and held it against her chest. He looked up at her…and she couldn't feel any hatred against him. Those eyes…who couldn't love them? "How much did you read?"

"I stopped in the middle." He sighed, guilt covering his slim form, "I couldn't read it anymore after that."

She let a silence over some them as she fiddled with the flap that clasped her diary together. Everything in that book was true…but if she told him that, what would he think of her? It would slander the big sister name.

"Um...you know…Jazz. You do a lot for me," he sort of choked on his words. It was hard for him to admit things like this, "I mean…you're always there to make me feel better and…help me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She looked at her lap. He was so sweet. He loved others before himself and risked his life everyday. Truly…she couldn't live without him either. Forever, her little brother…Danny."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and before she could control her self she hurled herself to him in a rib crushing hug. Tears ran down her cheeks and onto his clean white shirt.

After a moment of shock he wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace.

"Jazz, its okay. It's okay." He didn't push her off and he didn't move away. She often hugged him when he needed emotional love. She was always there…more than his mom and Dad…more that Sam or Tuck. It was his turn to be there for her.

"I wish I could help people like you do Danny. I feel so useless not being able to do anything, for anyone. Like I'm just another person that does the same monotonous thing everyday."

"Well, you're not. You're my sister…and you do a lot….for me." He smiled, finally able to get the words out, "And I don't ever want to see you thinking those things again. They aren't true."

She looked up into his eyes.

"Thank you Danny. Just…you talking to me…has made me feel a lot better." She smiled and moved back over to the bed. She picked up the diary and locked it, then set it on her nightstand.

"You sure you're ok?" he cocked any eyebrow at her. She laughed.

"Yeah. Now, somebody in here better get to bed." She stood up.

"Yeah, you're right. You should get some rest." He grinned and the expression on her face made him burst out laughing.

"Danny!" he ran out of the room and slammed shut the door. She giggled, which lead to a sigh. He always knew how to cheer her up…somehow. Her own private counselor, I guess you could say. She didn't want to die, because of him…and yet, part of the reason the words were written in that book, were because of him. But she loved him and always will. She wasn't going to leave him alone in this cruel world. He needed someone.

Fear is only in our minds.

------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------

Wow, this story took me about a month to right. Boy, am I a procrastinator. This is dedicated to at-a-glance because she rocks. Thanks