Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
December 1994
'Remember I have always loved you and will always love you no matter what. Love Mommy' Shelby writes finishing off the letter she had been writing and rewriting until she deemed it was absolutely perfect for her daughter to read when she started asking question. She sealed it away in an envelope and along with a tape recording of herself singing Lullaby by Billy Joel, packed it away in a small decorative box. Her due date was looming closer so it was crucial to her that she finished this before it was too late. She tried to get out of the contract that she had so stupidly signed when she was chosen for this crazy journey. But the Berry men told her that the contract was iron clad and like they agreed she could have no contact with her daughter until she was 18 or her daughter sought her out on her own. So right now as she waddled down the hall of the Berry's house (where she had been staying for the past month leading up to her due date) she was determined to see that at the very least they give her daughter the tape and letter she had poured her heart into.
When she reached the living room she was thankful to see that Leroy the taller and more empathetic of the two men was the only one home at the moment.
"Leroy, Can I talk to you for a minute?" Shelby asks announcing her presence in the room as well.
"Shelby! What are you doing up Hiram and I told you if you needed anything to just shout for us. You're 9 months pregnant and you're small enough as it is …"
"And you don't need me putting any stress on the baby. I know Leroy, I know but don't worry it was just a short walk from down the hall and if it makes you feel better I'll sit down." She tells him as she takes a seat across from him.
"I'm sorry Shelby I just want to make sure you and my daughter our as healthy as possible. Now there was something you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Yes, now I know you and Hiram said the contract was nonnegotiable but I was hoping you would at the very least grant me this one favor?"
"And that favor would be what exactly?"
Shelby hands him the box with the tape and letter "it would mean a lot to me if you gave this to her if she ever asks about me. I wrote a letter and recorded a lullaby for her."
Leroy looks her in the eye seeing sadness at the thought of giving up her small daughter that she had carried for the last 9 months, hope at the idea that he will agree to her wishes and finally pure undying love for the young daughter that she will never know beyond an ultra sound. And seeing this scares him for some unknown reason. Was he doubting his and Hiram's own parenting abilities? No he had grown up with two older brothers and a younger sister and Hiram had grown up with numerous younger cousins so they both knew what it was like to deal with young children and babies alike. If Leroy was being honest he knew the exact behind his fear of agreeing to Shelby's plea. He feared that his daughter wouldn't love him as much as her mother. That they wouldn't have the same type of bond that there seems to be between a mother and daughter. That one day when she did ask about her mom she would seek Shelby out and perhaps find that she loved her better than both of her fathers and would never return to them. Now thinking back on this later in life Leroy knew just how stupid this all really was but in that moment it al seemed realistic and logical. He knew his husband felt the same way that was why they had drawn up the contract in the first place to not only stop the mother from backing out of the surrogacy but also to ensure that their child would grow up only knowing them as his or her only parents. In a world where many constantly shunned them, they hoped for one just one other person besides their partner that would love them unconditionally. But as Leroy was about to answer her he knew he couldn't crush this woman's hope especially after all she was doing for them, so he lied.
"Of course Shelby I promise you the day she is old enough to understand all of this and she asks about you I will present her with this."
And Shelby for her part truly believes him, more relieved than happy at the thought that her daughter would know that she did love her even if she wasn't there.
One week later as Shelby finally brings her daughter into the world the gravity of what she is giving up hits her with such a force that she starts to become slightly hysterical. She yells, pleads, begs to keep her daughter to be apart of her life. But alas her cries are ignored she's even been denied the chance to hold her daughter and she only gets one look of her daughter as she's being cleaned off. Shelby is awestruck by the beauty and perfection she sees in the tiny human, and as if sensing her mother is nearby in distress the little baby turns her head in her mothers direction and opens her eyes for the first time both Shelby and her daughters screams stopping for second. Mother and daughter stare at each other both seemingly try to communicate that everything would be all right, that this wont be the last time they see each other. The baby girl thinking perhaps that she will be put in her mother's arms (which is where she felt she belonged) only momentarily. Sadly for Shelby she knows that it will be another eighteen years before she is allowed to legally see her daughter. And before either of them realize it the baby has been whisked away to meet her new family.
A/N: First obviously i don't own glee :P or Lullaby(Goodnight my angel) by Billy Joel it truly is a beautiful song that you should all listen too it's what inspired this fic! Second there is more to this i was orginally intending it to be a one shot but it was getting really long and i for one can only read so much before i get dizzy or lose interest. So i'm thinking this will either be a two shot or a three shot. i am working on the next part right now and my muse seems to be in overdrive right now for this little fic so hopefully you wont have to wait to long! Finally please review i love hearing your thoughts! and check out my other Shelby/rachel fics as well ;)